


Wild Winter's Day - Part II

by wildwintersday



Series: Wild Winter's Day [2]
Category: British Royalty RPF, prince harry - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 11:06:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 105,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12886554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwintersday/pseuds/wildwintersday
Summary: Settling for a lonely life, Annalisa never thought she would overcome her fears of letting a soldier into her heart. Until she met him. This is how they…





	1. How She Stood Her Ground

Pain.  Undeniable pain that pierces through the entire being, paralyzing any physical motion and tugging the heart strings.

Heart.  Shattered into millions of pieces, nearly impossible to glue back together.  But still refuses to stop beating steadily, god willing..

Thoughts.  Incoherent thoughts that don’t bother to seek clarity, its sole purpose to drive the mind into madness during the early hours before dawn.

_Pain inflicted to the heart by the dark and endless thoughts._

Annalisa shook her head as she wrapped the blanket around her shoulders tighter, burrowing beneath it, fighting for warmth as she curled up on the couch.  But no matter how secure it was around her fatigued frame, no matter how much she rubbed her cheek on the softness of the material, she still felt cold.

It had been two days.  Two days since the night Harry walked out the door that her gaze was fixated on; he had walked away from her, did what she asked him to, never looking back.  The soft click of the door latching into place resonated in her mind ever since, the sound of finality.  The sound she would forever associate with the end of their relationship.

The first time she heard it echo in the air, her knees buckled and she collapsed to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably into the palms of her trembling hands.  She never hated herself so much than she did in that moment, the moment where she let the best thing that could ever happen to her go.

And she let him go, just like that.  Like it was the simplest task, the easiest thing to see his back advancing away from her as he slipped through the door and out of her life.

 _So stupid_ , she voiced quietly, over and over.   _Coward._

It had been hours before she found the ounce of strength that was needed to stand on her two feet, shuffling slowly to her bed.  She crawled under the covers and let the devastation takeover her, not bothering to care at how loud her wails increased as she grieved alone.. feeling broken.

She had grown accustomed to being lonely, letting her fears win above all else, surrounding herself with walls for years.  Her therapist pinned it on the way she was brought up, the constant moving throughout her life being problematic for a shy and quiet spirit like Annalisa, never being able to have the allowed time needed to break out of her shell.  It resulted an inability to keep long lasting relationships outside of her family.  It created the notion that being forever alone and stuck inside her protective shell was normal and the only way of life for her.

But the loneliness she felt now was different than she was accustomed to.

She had felt so good, allowed herself to taste the kind of happiness she only read about, experienced the joy of being loved in return because of him.  Yes, her walls were still up, never letting him completely in, but he got in her heart like no other had before.  He was patient with her, giving her space when needed, and showed her nothing but pure love and admiration, even with all of her vulnerabilities.

And she broke his heart.  She threw it all away.

Typical Annalisa.

She leaned her head on the back of the sofa, never averting her stare from the chip of the white paint around the knob of the door, sadness plaguing her.  After crying until her eyes were dry, unable to produce any more tears, she had forced herself to get out of bed several hours ago.

But she couldn’t make it past the sofa.

Sleepless nights were taking its toll on her emotionally and physically.  Her mind never rested from the constant memories that kept coming forth, taunting her and forcing her to remember happier times with him.

———-

_“What inspires you?”_

_“My mother.” His answer was immediate.  “Just how genuine of a person she was, how caring she was.  How she pushed her own demons aside to make someone else smile.“ Harry paused a short beat before continuing wistfully, “I would do anything to just have a conversation with her.  Just once, you know? Hear her thoughts on certain things.. hear her hearty laugh, see her bright smile.”_

_Anna felt her heart break as she saw the sadness in his misty blue eyes as he looked down at her, her body draped over his.  She placed a loving kiss on his bare chest, Harry giving her a crooked smile in return.  “You remind me of her at times.”_

_“I do?” She whispered against his skin, peering up at him adoringly._

_“The way you’re passionate about kids and always trying to get a giggle out of anyone.  You do everything with your heart, with such kindness.  I’m in awe of that.. So you inspire me, too..”_

_Annalisa’s eyes brimmed with tears.  ”Harry..”_

_He shifted their positions to sit up in the bed, bringing her up with him as he hugged her tighter in his arms.  ”I want you to know that the papers..” He took a calculated breath, “there are going to be many comparisons, from here on out.  Of you and Kate, mostly.  But there are going to be comparisons of you and my mother.” She nodded, acknowledging that she was well aware of that.  ”Before that happens, if it hasn’t already.. I want you to know that she would have adored you, Annalisa.  She would have been absolutely over the moon at you loving her boy.”_

_His attention averted to the distant wall across the room, preoccupied with fond memories of his mother.  He laughed lightly.  “And I’m sure she would never miss the opportunity to crack a joke about us giving her ginger grandbabies.”_

_She smiled warmly at the mention of them having children.  It wasn’t the first time he had implied them starting a family together one day, always bringing up the possibility of redheaded kids.  “I would’ve loved to have met her, Harry.  She did an amazing job at raising her ginger boy.”_

_They lay in comfortable silence, sharing innocent and gentle touches.  Anna was the first to speak.  ”You know,” she gave him a playful look under her lashes.  ”You’ve never told me how peaches came about.”_

_A cheeky grin spread on his lips.  ”You’ve never asked.”_

_“I’m asking now.” They both stared at the other expectantly, neither one uttering a word.  Anna lifted her brows and poked his chest, creating a deep chuckle to vibrate from within.  “Well?“_

_“What? I believe I haven’t heard a proper question.”_

_“You goof.” She rolled her eyes and giggled when he tickled her sides.  “Harry.“_

_“Yes, my love?”_

_“May I ask why you enjoy calling me a fruit?”_

_He thought hard, his pointer finger tapping his lips.  ”Mm, I guess you may, fruit.”_

_Anna pouted and lightly smacked him.  ”Henry.” She squinted at him._

_“Yes, my love?” Harry repeated, holding back a laugh at her exasperation._

_“Why?”_

_“Why what, darling?”_

_She rolled her eyes.  ”Why do you call me peaches?”_

_He patted her bottom that was covered by the thin sheet.  ”Now was that so difficult?”_

_She stuck her tongue out at him in reply.  ”Yes, it nearly killed me.”_

_He pressed his lips together as the pad of his thumb rubbed along her still swollen lips from his hungry kisses.  ”The first time I saw you,” he said huskily, dipping the tip of his thumb into her mouth, his cock springing to life again as her tongue teased him, her teeth grazing him.  ”Your lips looked so enticing, so sweet and..”_

_“Peach?” She finished for him._

_His lips twitched, itching to rub against hers as he stared at them hungrily.  ”Mm,” he hummed._

_Anna slowly leaned forward, her body laying over his more comfortably.  ”You were very charming that day.”_

_“I’m always charming,” he said._

_She inched her mouth closer to his until they were mere centimeters apart.  ”You told me I smelled lovely.”_

_He brought his hand up to tangle in her hair, angling his head slightly to the right.  ”I wanted to make love to you right there on that stage,” he confessed before crashing his lips to hers, kissing her passionately, his tongue sliding into her waiting mouth._

 

_———_

_“Penny for your thoughts?” Harry whispered in her ear, sneaking up behind her as she read quietly on her kindle, the rarely used black rimmed glasses resting gently on the bridge of her nose._

_“Penny or a pound?” Anna retorted, swiping her finger across the screen to switch to the next page of the trashy novel she was reading._

_Harry’s hands went to her shoulders, kneading her flesh and eliciting approving moans from her.  ”Sexual favor for your thoughts?” He chuckled._

_Anna threw her head back as it rested on the back of the sofa, looking up at him and licking her lips seductively.  “I think we can arrange that.” He peeled her glasses off, tossing them aside and bending forward to meet her lips in an upside down kiss.  It was sloppy and awkward, causing them to giggle, but never stopping them._

_She was still able to wrap her arms around his neck and he was still able to cop a feel, his hands cupping her breasts and giving them a firm squeeze.  “Oh, hello mamas..” he joked, nipping her wet lips.  Her nipples hardened at the feel of his rough hands paying attention to them, the heel of his palm rubbing them in a slow circular motion.  “Looks like they want to play..”_

_Anna unhooked an arm from around his neck and placed her hand over his, guiding him down the path of her body until he reached the top of her sweatpants.  She raised up to apply pressure to his mouth.  “I know who else wants to play,” her silky smooth voice whispered, tickling his lips._

_Harry’s fingertips teased the hot skin beneath the elastic, slowly inching towards where she desired him most._

 

_———_

 

_Anna scanned the small crowd that were enjoying a late dinner in the pub she had just been guided into.  She followed Edward to a secluded area of the dimly lit restaurant where Harry came into view.  He was slouched in the booth, head bowed as he quickly tapped on his phone.  His facial features were hidden by the cap he wore low to keep appearances unknown._

_“Hey,” she called to him after placing a gentle hand on Edward’s arm and thanking him._

_Harry looked up and smiled at her Bugs Bunny nursing outfit.  ”Hey you,” he raised from his seat and nodded to Edward, giving him a polite thanks and dropping a chaste kiss on Anna’s lips._

_“Did I interrupt?” She gestured to his buzzing mobile._

_“Nah, just Jake shit talking.  He’ll be alright for awhile,” He waved it off, guiding her to slip inside the booth and following after.  “I already put in the order for the fish and chips to save on time.“_

_She smiled appreciatively.  ”Sorry I’m late.  I’ve been running behind for the whole first half of the day,” she said as she took a long drink from the coke with lemon he ordered for her._

_“You don’t have to apologize, love.”_

_Minutes later, their food arrived and they chatted animatedly about the comical things that happened at the hospital that week._

_“Oh, I gotta tell you what happened at this week’s Movie Night Tuesday.  The little birds decided on Toy Story,” she explained._

_Harry snapped his fingers.  ”I missed Toy Story?!” He whined._

_She laughed.  ”Don’t worry, we can have a Toy Story marathon this weekend.”_

_“Holding you to it.” He picked up a fry that was drenched in ketchup and popped it into his mouth._

_“I don’t know how you can eat that,” she wrinkled her nose, earning a goofy face from him in reply.  She laughed, playfully shoving him with her shoulder.  “So anyway, it was Johnny’s first Movie Night and he was absolutely amazed at the massive plasma tv,“ she giggled at the thought of the next words.  “The movie starts playing and he goes, ‘whoa that’s a big woody’”_

_Harry’s eyes widened as he choked on the gulp of soda he had just taken, instantly catching on the sexual meaning behind that.  ”Oh my god.” They busted out into boisterous laughs, not bothering to keep attention away from them._

_Anna wiped her eyes with a napkin, still giggling.  She peeked over at Harry, who was still barking with laughter as he muttered the words over and over._

_“To be innocent again,” she heard him say, shaking his head.  “If that was my kid, he would definitely earn a high five for that one.“_

_Anna tilted her head to the side, thinking it over.  Harry as a daddy.  Harry as a daddy to their children.  She smiled, images of the future creating a longing ache in her heart._

_A little boy with freckles, ginger hair like his daddy.  Smiling mischievously, wreaking havoc in their loving home._

_A little girl, dark curls falling freely around her heart shaped face with big curious eyes.  A toothy grin across her delicate features, melting her daddy’s heart._

_There was no doubt Harry would be a great father one day.  She had witnessed the way he was around other children, so comfortable and easily winning them over.  He had a way with them, a way that even she didn’t._

_“What are you thinking of?” He curiously asked.  He had felt her watchful eyes on him as he finished up his meal, and when he looked up to confirm so, her eyes were shining._

_She beamed at him, her smile infectious as he returned it.  ”You.” She simply answered._

_“Oh yeah?”_

_“I love you.  So much.  Do you know that?”_

_“I love you,” he said without missing a beat._

_More images filled her.  Images of him teaching their little boy how to properly shave.  Of him crawling around their home, giggles echoing as he gave horsey rides.  Of him dropping sweet goodnight kisses on their heads after she finished up an animated telling of a bedtime story._

_Images of them, happy and complete._

_Harry grew more curious with the way she was looking happily at him.  ”What?” He laughed, lightly.  ”What’s going on in that head of yours?”_

_“I’m just..” She paused, feeling a little silly.  “Thinking ahead.“_

_“Oh?” His brows lifted.  “Care to elaborate?“_

_She blushed.  ”Ginger and dark curled little people.”_

_Harry gave her a wide smile, a picture of what she described coming to him easily.  ”I like the sounds of that,” he said.  ”How far ahead would that be?”_

_“Well,” she said, curling an arm around his and scooting closer. She inhaled the clean scent of him, feeling warm and fuzzy.  “That would be up to you, captain.“_

_He lowered his head to keep their discussion private.  ”Soon.”_

_She felt giddy at the one word answer he gave her.  ”How many?” She wanted more, needed more._

_“As many as you’re willing to carry and deliver.”_

_“Oh, good one,” she complimented._

_“Thank you,” he bowed.  “How many do you think that is?“_

_“Jesus,” she breathed.  “As many as you bless me with.  I don’t want to put a number on something like this.“_

_He nodded, a permanent grin fixated on his mouth.  ”Shall we discuss some names, then?”_

_Anna giggled.  ”I’m sorry, are we already expecting?”_

_“One could only hope,” he said._

_“I don’t know how well that would go..”_

_Harry shrugged in response.  ”I don’t care.”_

_“Autumn,” she blurted._

_“And never hear the end of us naming our daughter after my cousin’s wife? It’s a nice name but.. He annoys me enough already.”_

_Anna laughed.  ”So no William then?”_

_“Bloody hell, Annalisa.”_

_————-_

 

_Anna took a long sip of the expensive wine Harry had brought over, her eyes intently watching the movie that was playing on her telly.  “I forgot how good this movie was,” she commented._

_“Sh,” he shushed her, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.  “Here comes my favourite part.”_

_Anna untucked her legs from underneath her, sitting up straight to listen closely._

_“You… complete me,” Harry recited in time with the character on the screen._

_Anna smirked.  “Shut up.. just shut up,” she said, emotionally.  “You had me at hello.. You had me at hello.”_

_Harry turned to her with an amused grin, catching her downing the rest of her wine before settling the empty glass on the coffee table.  “That was so fucking hot,” he said, tackling her._

_Anna squealed, falling back onto her back, her giggles bouncing off the walls of her flat.  He trailed sweet kisses across her collarbone as she combed her fingers through his hair, sighing happily.  He lifted his head to gaze down at her, her hypnotic eyes staring back at him.  He rubbed their noses together, murmuring against her lips.  “I love you.”_

_Her heart swelled.  “I love you, too.”_

_Harry smirked.  “You complete me.”_

_Anna replied in her equally cheesy line.  “You had me at hello.”_

 

———

The pounding on the door jerked her back to the present, her heart beating rapidly at the intrusion. “Annalisa!” She heard behind the door, the familiar deep voice only increasing her heart palpitations.  “Open the door!” He demanded.

She jumped off the couch, struggling with untangling herself from the blanket as she jogged to the door.  She flung it open to stop the persistent noise and her breath caught in her throat at what she found on the other side.

Harry.

Something was off with him, she knew instantly.  He wasn’t standing straight like he usually did, his shoulders slouched and he swayed unsteadily instead of his usual shifting from foot to foot.  His blue orbs were glossy, his cheeks a deeper red than the norm.

He was pissed drunk.

“Harry.. what are you doing here?” She asked, moving aside as Dave slipped inside the flat to do his routine check.

“You are some piece of work, do you fucking know that?” He spouted, his eyes blazed with fury.  “You,” he pointed an accusing finger in her direction.  “make no goddamn sense!”

“Okay, you’ve clearly had too much to drink tonight,” she sighed, taking in his disheveled clothing and messy hair.  Jealousy pierced through her at the thought of another woman’s hands roaming over him, taking advantage of him while he drank into oblivion.  “Do you want me to call someone for you?”

Harry squinted, trying to make her out with his blurred vision.  His eyes raked over her, all over her, appreciating the form fitting night shirt she wore and the pajama pants that hung loosely around her hips; his pants.  He clumsily outstretched his arm to grab her cold hand.  “You are my s-someone,” he slurred.

Anna’s heart ached at his words, even if they were whiskey fueled.  “Harry,” she started.

“All clear, sir..” Dave interrupted, resting a hand on her shoulder.  “Call if you need me,” he said, directly to Annalisa.  She nodded her thanks and pulled Harry into her flat, knowing in the morning he would appreciate the privacy.  God knows what he trouble he had gotten himself into before arriving, she didn’t want to give her neighbors the chance of catching a glimpse at the completely sloshed prince.

“Oof.” Harry bumped into her when she stopped walking backwards, his reflexes not up to par.  Their chests collided and he reached out to steady them with a shaky hands.  But the single touch ignited a flame inside him that traveled below his belt buckle, his trousers becoming tighter.

Harry advanced on her, pushing them flush together by gripping her hips.  Anna gasped, his erection pressing into her stomach.  She should have instantly pulled away so he wouldn’t get the wrong idea.  She should have told him they couldn’t, not wanting to make this harder than it already was.  She should have ignored the high she was on being this close and intimate with him.

She should have done all those things.

But she didn’t.

 _Harry_ needed _her and_ wanted _her, even after she broke his heart._

She tugged him closer, crashing her lips to his.  She was going against everything that was right, encouraging him as he kissed her back, passionately.  She was selfish, doing this to him, giving him mixed signals.  But just for a moment, she craved to forget who she was, who he was.

“Mm,” he moaned at the friction when he rubbed his hard cock against her.  Anna’s hands went to push him off of her, promising herself the moment was over, but they betrayed her at the feel of his muscular chest.  She caressed him softly, humming in approval at his own grabby hands squeezing the flesh of ass.

“Baby..” He panted against her ear, her panties dampening further, making her lose all sense of right as her need for him consumed her.  “Feel so good.. so good.. so good,” he kept muttering as he lifted her thigh to move further in between her thighs, his growing stiffness grinding sinfully against her core.

Her lips parted in surprise as he twirled them around, her back crashing into the heavy door.  She groaned as his hips ground harder, her mouth hanging open while his teeth grazed the heated skin of her neck.  Making matters worse, she pulled him even closer to her, shifting her leg up higher to meet every grind, matching every moan that came tumbling out of his mouth.

“Tell me you don’t fucking want this.. Tell me you don’t fucking love this..” Harry forced through clenched teeth, his erection hardening to the point of it becoming painful, straining against his tight trousers.  “Tell me you don’t want me.”

Anna whimpered when he ducked his head to nip her sensitive nipple through the material of her shirt, her body responding to him instinctively.  Her fingers itched to be buried in his hair, her legs longed to be wrapped around him completely as he took her over and over, right there.

“Be with me,” he said, reality crashing at full force.  She ripped him off of her and slipped past him.  They both stared at each other, bodies aching with the undeniable attraction, breaths coming out in rushed pants.

“We can’t, Harry.”

“The fuck we can’t,” he said, stepping towards hers.  But she raised a hand to stop him, shaking her head firmly.

“ _I_ can’t.”

He punched the air and yelled out incoherently.  “Why are you so goddamn set on this?”

“Because, Harry.. I can’t give you what you want.”

“I want _you_!” He shouted, arms flailing as he began to pace sloppily in front of her.  “Why are you pushing me away?”

“I can’t lose you..”

“Oh, fuck that bullshit excuse.” He made a disgusted face.  “What difference does it make if I die with or without you now? You _love_ me.”

She took a deep breath, trying to remain calm and not provoke him while he was in an unstable state.  “Yes, I do love you.  But if I allow this.. If I allow _us_ to fall deeper and we end up married with children.. and you go off to war and leave me.. and _die_ out there somewhere.. where does that leave me?”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he barked out a laugh, throwing his head back.  “Do you know how ridiculous you sound?!” His shoulders shook with his laughter.  “God, Anna.. That doesn’t even add up.”

She folded her arms, protectively hugging herself.  “Listen, years from now let’s say we are married with kids.  You go off to war and something happens.  We didn’t plan on it, but it happened.  Then it’s just me left here.. alone to raise our chil-”

“And let’s say years from now we get married, have a herd of kids and I _don’t_ go off to war.. or I _do_ go off to war.. _but_ I come back home to you, unharmed, safe and sound..”

She shook her head, sadly.  “I can’t risk that.”

“You can’t.. or you won’t?”

“I won’t.”

Harry yanked on his hair, frustrated beyond belief.  “You infuriate me.  You drive me absolutely mad.” He said.  “All I hear coming out of your mouth is _bullshit_.”

“Harry-”

“No, I’m fucking talking and you’re going to fucking listen.”

“Excuse me?” Surprise wasn’t the correct word to describe the look on her face from his uncalled for outburst.  Bewilderment? Outrage? Pushed to the limit? Who did he think he was speaking to her that way?

“You’re a fucking coward, making all these stupid empty promises to me..”

“They weren’t emp-”

“I’m fucking talking, I said!” He yelled, no longer able to hold back his resentment.  Anna shut her mouth, the anger building inside of her chest at his harshness.  “You said this was it for you.. you sai- you _promised_ me you would let me in.. you would talk to me..”

“Harry, I-”

“You what? You’re fucking _scared_? Be an adult for once in your pathetic life, Annalisa.”

She took a step back, slowly reaching her breaking point.  “Okay, I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”

“I don’t fucking care! You forget I’ve been through this shit before.. tossed aside like _garbage_ because of who I am.. but not once,” he chuckled, “not _once_ was it because of being a soldier..” He stared pensively at her and she felt her insides shake.  “But once again,” he throw his arms up to emphasize his words.  “Once again, I am just the _spare_.. never good enough.”

“This isn’t about you.”

“Oh, it has _everything_ to do with me, Annalisa.”

“I lose you in my darkest nightmares,” she whispered.

“And _I_ don’t have nightmares of losing _you_? You don’t think I have my own baggage, Annalisa? You don’t think I have that hovering over me every damn day? I _watch_ you being taken away from me like..”  
He stopped.  But he didn’t have to finish that sentence.  Annalisa knew how it ended.

“Harry…”

He sniffled, angrily wiping away the wetness that had begun to form under his eyes.  “I’m scared, too.  I’m scared all the time, Anna.. I love you, I’m in love with you.. I want to _marry_ you and father your children..”

“Stop,” Anna pleaded, her voice cracking as tears pooled in her own eyes.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  I want to grow old with you.  I want you there by my side.. every day.”

“Please stop.”

“I’m scared of losing you, too, Anna.”

“I have to do this now before..” She trailed off.

He looked expectantly at her.  “Before what?”

“Before it’s too late to back out.”

The pain flashed in his eyes the moment the words rushed out of her mouth, crushing him further.  He covered his chest with his hand, pressing his lips together.  “Before I trap you, you mean?”

Her heart broke at how small his voice was, at the lone tear that slipped from the corner of his eye and slid slowly down his cheek, pooling in the corner of his mouth.  The tip of his tongue peeked out, tasting the saltiness of his heartbreak.

“It’s not what I meant,” she said.

“Of course not,” he said, harshly.  “Fuck you,” he spat, swinging around and stumbling backwards, off balance.

“Harry.. I think you should leave,” she said, calmly.  She made way to the door and went to open it before a loud crash sounded out, followed by a curse.

“Argh, fuck!”

She went to inspect what happened and gasped in surprise, hand covering her mouth.  Harry had used his full strength and kicked a hole through her wall, pieces of crumbled drywall and sheetrock scattered on the floor.  Harry was spewing out cuss words, pain etched on his face as he bent at the waist.  His weight was leaning entirely on the perfectly smooth wall, his hand clutching his shoe.

“Harry..”

He lifted up his head sharply and scowled, a mix of pain and anger flashing in his eyes.  “Sod off!”

“Did you hurt yourself?” She took another cautious step toward him and when he didn’t protest, she reached to help him take off his boot and carefully peeled his sock off.  “Oh god..” His toe was already swelling to two sizes bigger than the norm, the skin bruising.  “It looks broken,” she confirmed.

Harry went to rest his heavy head on the wall, letting her check him out, and winced when it banged harshly against it.  “I’m drunk..” He whimpered, watching her inspect his other toes, her soft feather like touch causing his chest to constrict.  His breathing came out in harsh pants, his desire building and building for her.

“You think?” She clicked her tongue, disapprovingly shaking her head.  “You kicked a fucking hole in my wall and broke your toe, Harry.”

Was she for real? Was she seriously giving him a hard time after she broke him? It was her own fault.

“Fuck this,” he pushed himself off from the wall and unskillfully limped towards the door, too angry to allow her to see how painful it was to walk.

“Where are you going?!” She cried, irritation laced in her voice.

“Away from your bullshit,” he said over his shoulder as he slammed the door shut behind him.

Anna gathered his boot and sock he had left behind and stormed towards the door, flinging it open to witness Harry lean on Dave as they slowly made way to the lift.  She whipped his belongings at him, missing him by a mere inch as it plopped to the ground.

“Call me when you’re fucking sober,” she called out furiously before slamming the door and leaning her back against it, still feeling the aftershocks of what had just happened.  
She sighed deeply, exhaustion weighing her down as she slid down the door and onto the floor, hands covering her face as she cried.


	2. How Their Label Changed

Swirling the red liquid in the cheap crystal glass, Annalisa sighed heavily.  She sat alone at the piano, the glow from the fully rounded moon illuminating the dark room.  Lifting the glass to her mouth, she peered out into the night and let the sweet taste of the wine slide down her throat smoothly.  The city was still buzzing with life, even at the late hour. Cars were speeding by, tires splashing through massive puddles from the torrential rain that had finally stopped.

There was no clock in the room, something she intended.  There was no sense of time when she was surrounded by the cool blue walls that were decorated with photographs of her family and portraits of paintings that brought comfort to her soul.  Time didn’t matter within this peaceful space.

But she could tell by the feel of the night that she should have been in bed hours ago, gearing up for a meeting with Paul to discuss her involvement with the organization coming to an end.  It ate at her, tearing her insides at having to do this when Paul had been nothing but sweet and patient with her.  It was fun and fulfilling, sure.  She enjoyed spending her free time testing out her creativity at planning the events.  It brought her closer to home, to past times when she would join her family giving back to veterans.

But it was also something that she couldn’t bear to do any longer.  Not when the pain of losing Ben being refreshed once again in her heart.  Not with Finn heading off to war, the unsettling possibility of never returning back to them.

Sleep was impossible more so than ever before with all the thoughts swimming around, her mind refusing to shut down for just a couple of hours to rest.  So she had thrown the covers off her, agitated, and padded her socked feet into the music room with a clear glass and a bottle of wine that she picked up after her shift ended, hoping to find some inspiration at the piano.

But she couldn’t find an ounce of inspiration.  She couldn’t find solace.  She was too.. empty.

She thought back on the day as she poured the third glass of wine she was about to consume.

——-

_“Oh Anna-leelee, it’s nana.  I’ve just read the paper and it says here you and your prince are to announce your engagement following Christmas.  I would like to give my input on which tiara would look best on top of that mess of a mop you call hair.  Call me before you go on and choose to wear the Girls and topple over in front of millions of people, embarrassing your poor old nana.”_

_A small smile tugged on her lips.  Her grandmother was best described as a stern military wife and mother, Anna finding it difficult to keep up with her at times.  There was no doubt her stubbornness came from her father’s side of the family.  A sense of comfort warmed her at the sound of her grandma’s voice._

_She immediately called her back as she stepped through the door of her apartment, thinking nothing of the early hour back in Boston, knowing her grandma was up before the crack of dawn to read the paper and gulp down black coffee in the stillness of the early hours._

_It wasn’t too deep into the conversation before Anna poured her heart out, telling her grandma of everything that had happened in the past couple of weeks.  The nightmares that haunted her.  The shock and hurt of Finn’s news of deployment.  Pushing Harry away and letting her fears overtake her.  Breaking up with Harry._

_“I don’t know what to do, Nana.” Anna sniffled, anguish filling her voice._

_“Listen to your heart.”_

_“I don’t know..”_

_“You’re smarter than this,” she scolded.  “Your heart is the only thing you should be paying attention to, along with your Nana.”_

_Anna felt the sting of the tears. “Nana…”_

_“Listen to me, Annie. You are a bright young woman and there’s no doubt that you can see the look of love in your amore’s eyes.”_

_“I don’t doubt my amo-” she caught herself and blushed. “Harry’s love for me. I just.. I can’t, nana.” Anna cleared her throat to rid the emotional distress that caused her voice to crack._

_“Oh, my dear Annie.”_

_The rare soft tone her always stern grandma used broke Anna as she let out a quiet sob.  ”I’m scared. I’m scared to love, I’m scared to lose… Scared to give myself completely to only be left behind.”_

_“Oh, my sweet Annie. There are no guarantees in love or in life. But living in fear is not living. Taking risks is living. Loving your prince and giving your heart away can bring you the most bliss.  Your grandpa took my whole heart and now all I have are memories.  But the memories I hold dear to me bring me bliss until I can dance with him again.” Anna shook her head, wiping the flow of her tears with the back of her hand. “There is no greater feeling in the world than loving and receiving love in return. That Henry loves you, baby.”_

_“I know but…” Her phone beeped in her ear, interrupting their heartfelt conversation. She looked at the screen and felt her heart race. “Erm—Nana, I’ve got another call..”_

_Rosemary smiled, recognizing the slight shake of her granddaughters honey voice. “You tell that Henry I say hello, hm?”_

_After a quick goodbye, she took a calming breath and wiped away the rest of her tears, counting to five before picking up the line.  The last thing she wanted was for Harry to know she had been crying.  ”Harry?” She winced at the vulnerable way she sounded._

_“Yeah,” Harry answered, coldly.  “Obviously.“ Anna’s eyes slid shut at the harshness of his tone.  He was still very much upset with her._

_“Oh, um.. Hi..,” She stumbled, nervously.  “Hello.“_

_“Yeah, listen.. I left some things there that I need back.” Harry didn’t want to beat around the bush, still not yet ready to have a civilized conversation with her.  He knew he was being childish, he was aware of the foolish way he acted the last time he saw her.  But he couldn’t bring himself to care._

_“…Oh,” came her dumbfounded reply._

_He waited a beat for her to continue.  But she didn’t.  She was too stunned at his distant and cold demeanor towards her._

_“There’s something there that I need tonight before the press conference tomorrow.”_

_“Oh, um..yeah.” A million thoughts swirled around in her head._

_He had every right to be angry with her, to be hurt and confused.  She had unintentionally led him on, making him believe they had a future together.  They discussed marriage and children, even spending an evening googling the possibility of a brunette and redhead conceiving ginger haired babies.  And when Harry mentioned Anna meeting some members of his well known family, she knew he was taking their relationship to the next level._

_He was all in._

_Anna sighed, catching a glimpse of the crushed pieces of wall.  ”How’s your toe?” She asked in genuine concern._

_“How’s your wall?” He retorted._

_She licked her dry lips, trying to keep the conversation light in spite of his bitterness.  ”It’s seen better days.”_

_“So have I,” Harry answered in annoyance._

_“Har-”_

_Harry clicked his tongue. “I think it would be best if you weren’t around when I stop by to grab my shit.  I have to finish up some things before I can head over.  So I’ll text you in a few hours?”_

_And just like that, the crack in her heart echoed in her ears, his words stealing her breath._

_Shortly later, they disconnected and Anna was left alone in her empty flat, confusion angering her. She tried to keep her mind occupied -the whirlwind in her head enough to make her go mad if she sat for too long- whilst waiting for his text to become scarce so he could do what he had to do._

_She angrily pulled out the articles of clothing from the dryer, tossing them into the basket.  She reached into the machine for the last item that was stuck in the back and stopped short when she felt the material in between her fingers.  A plaid button down shirt.  Harry’s plaid button down shirt._

_Gathering it up between both hands, she brought it up to her nose and just before she went to inhale the scent, she threw it to the side, as if it had burned her.  Letting out a wail, she kicked the laundry basket and slammed the door to the dryer shut, her hands smacking the surface as she breathed deeply through her nose._

_She was stupid, so fucking stupid to think he wouldn’t still be upset with her.  Of course he was.  He had every right to be.  Hell,_ she _was furious with herself._

_After allowing herself time to calm down, counting each inhale and slow exhale, she forced herself out of the laundry room, not being able to bear to see another thing of his being mixed in with hers.  She made her way to the living room and sat on the sofa, turning the telly on to get lost in some mindless programmes._

_But the picture came to life and Anna almost burst into tears.  Right there, clear as day, was Harry.  Her mind screamed at her to turn it off, to turn away and not stare at him.  To switch to another channel.  But she couldn’t.  She didn’t want to._

_He looked good.  Really good.  Mingling with his teammates for the upcoming adventure he was about to embark, leaning forward towards his Gran to crack a joke that made her insides melt.  He was adorable._

_She imagined standing there with him, giggling along at his cheesy remarks, leaning into him to whisper how proud she was of him, how manly he looked standing there with his arms crossed, his fingers resting on his lips.  She imagined teasing him, telling him to stop shuffling his feet because it was distracting and making everyone else anxious.  She imagined being there with him, as his wife.. as his partner._

_The pain in her chest became unbearable as she peered at his handsome features, an ache and longing for him intensifying._

_Quickly switching off the television, she stood up and wiped away the tears before busying herself with tidying up._

_Her mind went back to the message her Nana left her earlier that morning.  She recalled her mentioning the paper, reading reports and stories of them becoming engaged soon.  The press would have a field day after discovering that that wouldn’t be the case after all._

_Shit._

_The press would be all over this in just a matter of time.  She hadn’t even thought of what that could mean for her family back in the States._

_“Ugh.” She grabbed her mobile and began dialing._

_“Hey, what’s up?” Came Finn’s voicemail._

_“Hey, it’s Anna.. Are you ever going to change that lame message?” She forced a chuckle, trying her best to sound nonchalant.  “So anyway.. uh, I wanted to just give you a heads up before Nana went babbling around.. Harry and I..” She paused, gathering up the courage to voice the words that crushed her every time they escaped her lips.  “We.. broke up.” Rolling her eyes, she continued on.  “I know what you’re thinking.  Anna fucked up after I told her not to.  I know, I know.. but, yeah.. Call me back, okay? Love you, bye.”_

_She moved on to Danny, praying she could catch his voicemail, calculating the time difference quickly in her head.  It was just reaching half past eight in the morning there.  He was most likely on his way to the office or to the courthouse._

_“Morning, honeybee.  To what do I owe the pleasure of this pleasant surprise? It’s early.”_

_Shit.  No such luck this time.  “Sorry, Danny.. Am I catching you at a bad time..?”_

_He chuckled, rummaging through the cabinets.  “Well, I haven’t had an ounce of caffeine yet but.. I’m brewing coffee right now so you’re good.  What’s up?”_

_Anna took a breath.  “I wanted to just check in with everyone and.. let you guys know that soon there will be some reports coming out about Harry being back on the market and..”_

_“Back on the market?” His tone dripped with surprise._

_“Yeah, we broke up.”_

_“Oh, honeybee, are you alright? Do I have to kick the fucker’s ass?”_

_“Ugh,” she said, disgusted.  “You are almost as bad as Luke.”_

_Danny gasped in mock horror.  “How_ dare _you compare me to that asshole.”  Anna lightly laughed.  “Oh, Anna.. are you okay?”_

_She rubbed her lips together.  “Umm..”_

_“What happened?” He asked, softly._

_She sighed, telling him everything just like she had done with her Nana.  “I fucked up, Danny.  Like,_ really _fucked up.  I’m just.. such a fucking mess.”_

_“Hey, listen, you’ve come a long way, Annalisa.”_

_She let out a sarcastic laugh.  “Sure, until I let my stupid head get the best of me and push the best thing that has ever happened to me out the door.  Oh yeah, I’ve_ definitely _come a long way.”_

_Danny couldn’t describe the worry he felt upon hearing her come down on herself.  “Anna.. don’t be so hard on yourself.  Shit happens.  You pick yourself up, brush the dust off, and carry on.”_

_“Alone.” She added, sadly._

_“You don’t have to be alone,” he commented.  “If Harry is the one for you, then you’ll find a way to push through this and end up together.”_

_“Okay, Hallmark.”_

_He laughed loudly, pouring the coffee that finished brewing into his travel mug.  “Sometimes you and Gabe are the same person, I swear.” He sobered up.  “But I mean it.  Maybe you should talk to someone again.. You can contact-”_

_“I don’t know if I want to go through that crap again,” she interrupted.  “I don’t know if it’s going to do any good.  I talked to someone for_ years _after Ben…”_

 _“Then maybe you and Harry should go together.. Work it out_ together _,” he suggested.  “You don’t have to go through this alone, Anna.”_

_“I’m not going to drag Harry into all of this fuckery, Danny..”_

_“You are so goddamn stubborn, do you know that?”_

_She snorted.  “Whatever.  I is who I are.”_

_“Deranged? Yeah, I can see that.” He cleared his throat.  “You know you can always call one of us if-”_

_“I know,” she added quickly, eager to finish off the conversation.  “I gotta go.  I still have Kathie to call-”_

_Danny laughed.  “So you can avoid Luke?”_

_“Yes.  I don’t need to hear him count the ways of how he can dismantle Harry like he’s some construction tool.”_

_After a couple more minutes of light chatter and a heartfelt goodbye, Anna dialed the next number.  The conversation she had with her sister-in-law was short, Kathie being busy running around to get the kids ready for school.  But even during the chaos, Kathie offered up her own advice; basically the same advice she had gotten from her Nana and brother._

_“Have you talked to your mom or dad?”_

_Anna cringed.  “Uh, no.. I’ve been dodging my mom’s calls and my dad is still pretty upset with me after I,” she lowered her voice to mimic her father’s manly tone, “_ made life altering decisions without discussing with the family _.”_

_Kathie belted out a humorous laugh.  “That was dead on.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_“I think you should really talk to them, Anna.  Your mom is always so insightful and your dad.. He misses you..”_

_Anna felt the pang of guilt rise in the pit of her stomach.  She really did miss her parents, too.  But she was so afraid to speak to them, afraid of what they would think of all of this.  She definitely wasn’t up to hear her father’s negative remarks, and she wasn’t willing to hear her mother defending him._

_“I miss them, too,” she said._

_“Shit!”_

_Her brows lifted in amusement as her nephew’s voice rang out from the background._

_“Benny! What have I told you about using those words?!” Kathie yelled, the phone temporarily pressed to her chest.  “I swear, I’m going to murder that a-s-s for swearing like a sailor in front of them.”_

_Anna snorted.  “Kath, you do know your kids know how to spell now, right?”_

_“Shit,” she cussed, before giggling at her own slip._

_—-_

_Three hours later, she found herself walking aimlessly through the chilly November evening.  Harry had sent her a short ‘_ On my way _’ text fifteen minutes ago, causing her to frantically pull her coat and scarf on and scurry out the door._

_Hands in her coat pocket, she puffed out the cold air, counting each of them to keep herself from slipping into despair, forcing herself to become numb to the hurt she felt deep within her chest._

_She wished she could be with him.  She wished she could run back to her place to catch him, to give him everything he wanted.  She wanted to jump into his arms, confess she loved him, wanted to be_ them _again._

_But she couldn’t erase her nightmares._

_But did she really want Harry to disappear from her life? Could she walk away from him completely and go about her life as if they had never met?_

_She knew she couldn’t._

_But there was no way Harry would even consider friendship.  He outright hated her, he made that perfectly clear._

_So what now?_

_Her phone buzzed, alerting her of Harry’s text message._

_‘_ All yours.  Check the Peace Lilies’

_Her brows furrowed at the cryptic message, confused at his mention of the plant she had outside of the front door.  She power walked her way back home, curiousity fueling her fast pace as her feet pounded the pavement._

_When her eyes fell on the planted flowers that were neatly tucked in the corner of her entryway, her heart pounded in her ears.  With calculated steps away from the lift and towards the plant, she brought her trembling hands out of her pockets._

_And as her fingertips felt the cold hard object that was hidden in the ceramic pot, her knees buckled and she sank to the ground, choking out sobs._

_His key._

_——————-_

Harry stared at his mobile, willing it to light up with her number.  He did this often, more specifically at night as he laid in bed, absolutely pissed after an evening of ever flowing drinks with his mates.  This wasn’t the first time they were picking him up after a breakup.  But not once did they comment on that, not once did they throw that in his face.  People could say what they wanted to say about the circle of friends he associated himself with, but when it truly counted, they were always there with no questions asked, no matter how repetitive it became to keep him from contacting her or leaving her a nasty voicemail throughout the nights.

They listened to him as he leaned on them for support, Skippy offering drink after drink until he loosened up and his tight lipped mouth slackened, causing him to become a blubbering mess.  Jake and Tom were known for getting him home safely, discreetly keeping him upright the moment they saw him swaying too far to avoid unwanted attention.  He had Beth and Liv to thank for mothering him, showering him with comforting hugs and giving him a look into a woman’s perspective.  Mags was always there to ask if he wanted her to contact Anna, to get some answers, to persuade her in changing her mind.  He always declined, but not after a moment of mulling it over.

But tonight he had stayed cooped up in his home, heating up some leftovers Kate had dropped off earlier and catching up on Britain’s Got Talent.  After a long hour, he was restless, the strong urge to hear her voice consuming him.  He missed her.  He missed her so fucking much.  And it ticked him off.

She broke his heart.  She shattered his dreams of finally being with someone he could share his life with, who he could start a family with.  He was ready to settle down.  He was ready to be a man.  And she had given him _hope_ again.  Hope that someone _could_ love him for him.  Hope that there was such a thing of the cliched _true and everlasting love_.  She made him _believe_.  Believe that he was good enough, that loving him was worth all the bullshit.

Why did this always happen to him? What was so horribly wrong with him that no decent woman was willing to accept him? _All_ of him.

“Fuck!” Harry threw himself back and growled in frustration, rubbing his haggard face with rough hands.

He hated this.  Hated that she did this to him.. to them.  But he understood it.  Of course he did.  He understood the nightmares, the fear of losing someone dear to his heart.  He had experienced the pain of that, too.  Nightmares kept him awake at night, too.

But he was able to work past that.  Because she was worth it.

And he wasn’t.  He was never worth anything.  He was never enough.

Regret.  He was definitely regretting declining the offers he got from his mates to hit the town.  Because now he was left unsupervised to ponder all of the insecurities that kept coming forth to mind.

He flipped the telly off, blinking at the sudden darkness around him.

The memory of being alone in her flat just hours ago came crashing down on him.  It had been eerily quiet the whole time he was there.  And he could still remember her sweet scent filling his nostrils as soon as he stepped into the apartment, hitting him right in the gut.  He stood there for a few minutes, frozen, and his eyes scanning the place that had become familiar to him.

Now he felt like a stranger in her home.

He had pushed his way around to gather his belongings, deliberately pausing in the bedroom where several loving memories rushed through him, crushing him further.  His hand had lingered on her soft pillow, his breathing had become shallow at the realization that he would never snuggle with her again.

He had shaken off the sadness as soon as he felt it, replacing it with anger instead as a defense mechanism.  Hastily grabbing various items that hung around as if they belonged there, he stuffed them into his duffel bag and turned to go.

Nothing had felt more final than the moment he dropped the key into the potted plant.

Now hours later, here he was.  Still thinking about her.

Harry slouched further down on the sofa, his leg bouncing as he wondered what she was doing.  Was she thinking of him? Was she staring at her mobile, waiting on his call? Did she miss him like he missed her? Did she think of him every second of the day, regretting tearing them apart?

He repeatedly tapped on the black screen as he contemplated on what to do.  ”Oh fuck it.”

The line rang and Harry’s anxiety level rose with each passing moment.  He almost hung up, even tearing the phone away from his ear before her tired and broken voice came through.  ”Harry?”

He didn’t reply.  He couldn’t.  The last couple times he spoke to her, he was cold and mean.  He was too tired for that tonight.  ”Harry? You there?” The sadness was present in her soft spoken voice.

“Hey.”

Anna’s heart beat wildly in her chest at his gravelly greeting, her palms sweating as she fought for control over her emotions.   _Fuck_ it felt good to hear his deep voice speak to her without a trace of bitterness.  So good.

“Hi,” the one syllable was said above a whisper, causing Harry to press the phone closer to his ear.  “Is.. Is everything okay?“

His answer was instant, his tone raising an octave.  ”Yeah, sure.. umm.. Everything’s fine.  Just.. I don’t know.. wanted to apologize for.. the other night.” A half smile slowly formed on her lips.  At a different time, she would tease him, as they always did with each other.  But she couldn’t now.  Not when they were still fragile.  ”Did I wake you?”

“No, no.. I was up.” She sighed, leaning forward to place the wineglass on the smooth surface of the piano.  She listened intently  to his uneven breaths, chewing her lip as the emotions coursed through her, unsure of what to say, afraid to set him off into an angry rant.  “I.. I saw you on the news.  That was very nice of you.. having the team meet your gran and grandpa.”

He chuckled, laying his head back on the couch and stared up at the high ceiling.  ”It was great fun witnessing the bunch get shaky with nerves like little schoolgirls.” Anna let out a light laugh, grateful to witness his playful nature again.

“Came up fast, didn’t it? The trek,” she paused.  “Your.. toe.  Will it be healed enough in time?”

Harry smirked.  “Worried about me, yeah?”

“Yeah, well.. ya know..” Anna grinned sheepishly and shrugged.

“The doctor says it should be fine.”

Silence settled between them.  But it wasn’t uncomfortable, strangely enough.  They both sat there, phones pressed to their ears, staring into the dark as they breathed in sync.

“I miss you.” Her whispered confession pulled at his heartstrings.

He sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees.  ”Anna..” He huskily breathed her name, Anna’s heart galloping at the memory of him whispering her name that same way in her ear as their bodies were joined as one, as they moved in sync.. chasing away all the fear and doubt that plagued her.

“I just.. God,” she laughed at herself, the word pathetic taunting her.  “I don’t fucking know anymore.  I miss you, Harry.  I can’t sleep.  I can barely function at work.“ Tears welled in her exhausted eyes, pooling in the corners to blur her vision as she gushed to him, the words rushing out of her.  A lump had formed in her throat and she tried desperately to rid of it.  The last thing she wanted was to break apart in front of him.

But the quick sharp intake of breath that came from him made her control start to slip.  ”I want you in my life.  I need you in my life.  I can’t lose you, Harry.  Can’t we just.. I don’t know..” She proceeded with caution,  “try to be friends?”

Her words suddenly angered him, causing him to snap in respond.  ”Friends?” He spat.  “I don’t want to be your fucking friend, Annalisa.”

Anna blinked, taken aback by his outburst, expecting a softer reply, and feeling foolish for suggesting such a ludicrous thing.

But she understood where he was coming from.  She didn’t blame him one bit.  He had every right to be angry with her.  “Goddamn it! You were the one that did this.  You promised me you wouldn’t pull away.  You gave me your fucking word.  Then you went back on it like it meant shit to you.” He breathed deeply before continuing.  “Now you’re telling me you miss me? You want to be friends? Fuck that shit.  You did this, Annalisa.” She broke his heart, after promising of that never happening.  She repeatedly promised to stay at his side, to confide in him when things got heavy.  And she broke every single one of her promises.

The tears spilled over her cheeks and she sniffled. “I know.”

Harry’s heart ached at the sound of her softly crying and had to wipe at his own damp eyes, frustration evident in his tense posture. He shook his head before clearing his tight throat. He had spent too much time crying, too many sleepless nights missing her, letting his weakness get the best of him.

He was over it.

But no matter how broken he was, how much devastation paralyzed him during the hours before dawn, he couldn’t stop loving her. He couldn’t stop himself from missing her.  Missed the way her soft curls tickled his chest as she slept cuddled into him.  Missed the soothing melody of her happily humming above the stove as she fixed him a meal.  Her hearty laugh as she threw her head back at something he had said, and her uncontrollable giggles at his constant teasing.

He dreamt of her bright smile, of the freckle that rested below her lower lip.  He dreamt the way she would worry her lips, chewing and biting them until she cracked the skin and her round cheeks turned pink in embarrassment when she caught him staring.

He longed for her, yearned for her in ways he had never before about _anyone_.  Anna was exactly what he had hoped for in a spouse; she was hardworking but never once complained about the long grueling hours at the hospital because it was her passion.  It was her job, but she didn’t treat it as such.  Helping children, caring for them and bringing hopeful smiles to their faces.. it was rewarding.  But she wasn’t just loving with the children.  The way she spoke of her family, the way she was loving towards _him_.. _she_ melted his heart.

He sighed, rolling his eyes at himself for being so weak.  ”Okay.”

Anna’s ears perked up. “Okay?”

“Friends, sure.”

“Yeah?” The corners of her mouth lifted up. It wasn’t a wide smile like usual but a hint of one, a hopeful one.

“Yeah,” he said, slightly smiling.

“Okay.  Friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)


	3. How They Were "Just Friends"

Two days had gone by since Harry and Annalisa agreed on trying to be friends, both still wanting to be a part of each other’s lives, but neither one of them had made the effort to to interact.  Maggie had called Anna to invite her over to the dinner party they were throwing Harry before he would embark on his South Pole trek in just a little over a week. She hesitated at first, unsure if Harry would even want her there, unaware of his feelings towards her still.  But Maggie had pleaded with her, informing her that she had run it by Harry and he was looking forward to seeing her there.

Anna wasn’t sure if Maggie was actually being truthful, especially since she made it no secret she supported them together, even after everything Anna had put Harry through. But would Maggie stoop so low to get them in the same room to work things out?

She had been incredibly nice towards her, even going as far as offering her empathy and suggesting a movie night in with the other girls after the breakup.  But Anna had declined. She appreciated the gesture, she really did.  But she didn’t want to complicate things, she didn’t want Harry to think she was overstepping.  They were his friends, after all.

And now that _they_ were friends, she was regretting pushing Mags away.

It took her nearly three hours to get ready, settling for a gray sweater dress that had a black belt wrapped around the waist.  “Agh!” The nerves were bubbling inside her chest as she struggled with zipping up the black knee high boots, a frustrated noise passing through her lips.  She had straightened her hair, then hated it after twenty minutes and washed it out, using the curling iron to perfect her curls.  She had washed off three different eyeshadows, plucked her eyebrows until they were perfected, and covered every inch of skin with scented lotion.

There were several times when she would stop fussing over trying to look impressive, reminding herself that Harry was nothing more than just a friend.  But even she knew that was ludicrous.  Harry could never be _just a friend_.  Not when she was in love with him. Not when she felt jittery about seeing him for the first time since that night he showed up drunk at her door.

“Alright, Caro,” she said aloud, pulling the hem down to reach the top of her knees as she looked over her appearance in the long mirror that hung on the back of her closet door, “You can do this.” Taking one last look, she breathed deeply through her nose before grabbing her clutch and walking out the door towards the taxi that waited for her.

The forty-five minute drive to Maggie’s home wasn’t helping the apprehension she felt about the impending night’s events.  Were they ready to see each other yet, so soon after breaking up?  It had barely been a couple weeks at this point.

She got her answer the moment she saw him enter Maggie’s dining room, his attire for the evening being casual dark blue slacks with a white collared shirt that was tucked neatly in his trousers.

He looked absolutely divine.

Their eyes locked from across the room, the heat passing between creating a thick tension in the air.  The surrounding company easily felt the shift in the room, a hush replacing the rowdy discussions and clinking of dishes as they dined.  Annalisa tugged a loose strand of hair behind her ear nervously as she glanced down, the first to break the staring contest.  She didn’t have to check her reflection to know her cheeks were turning beet red, she didn’t have to see her swollen lip that she was feverishly chewing on out of habit. The voice in her head screamed at her to keep inhaling and exhaling, to fall back on the breathing techniques to avoid an anxiety attack in their company.  In _his_ company.

But she couldn’t.

She began to feel lightheaded, holding onto the chair in front of her that Beth sat.  Her knees felt like jelly, like they were going to give out at any moment.  She had to get out of there, needed to get some air in her lungs.

Excusing herself politely, Anna walked out of the dining area and into the foyer, quickly making her way to the front door.  She turned the knob with shaky hands and slipped through it, out into the night.  It was only then that she could breathe a sigh of relief, leaning back on the shut door momentarily, letting the wind that had picked up since the short time she had been indoors cool her heated skin.  Her heart pounded in her ears, her chest heaved as she fought to breathe normally.

Letting her eyes darted from car to car that were lined up the long circular driveway, her insecurities kept swimming through her head, taunting her.  It was times like these that she resented not having a car, relying on cabs and taking the train when she wasn’t able to walk.  She pushed her weight to a standing position and sat on the front steps, her hands covering her face.

What was she doing? Why couldn’t she get herself together?

She didn’t know.

Swallowing back the tears, Anna combed her fingers through her hair, tugging on the tangles from the breeze.

“Avoiding me?”

“Oh..” She squeaked.

Harry cleared his throat, taking a few steps down to sit next to her.  ”I thought you wanted to be friends, Annalisa.” There was no mistaking the annoyance in his remark.

“I do,” she replied, softly.

“You have a bizarre way of showing it.”

She sighed.  ”I know.. I just..” She trailed.

He lifted a brow expectantly.  ”You just what? Can’t handle it?”

“That’s not-”

“Yes it is,” he said.  “You want to be friends but you don’t know if you can.“

Anna let his words sink in.  How did he know her so well? How could he tell what she was thinking, how she was feeling?

Harry lowered his eyes to his hands, rubbing them together from the chilled breeze.  ”Look, I know I was against this whole friends thing at first.” He snorted.  ”Shit, I don’t even know if this is going to work but..” Hopeful blue eyes shifted to meet her golden orbs.  ”I would like to really try,” he confessed.

She could feel her heart skip a beat at his intent stare, at his soft spoken words.  There was no way she could _not_ have him in her life, not after getting to know such an incredible man that made her laugh, that made her feel incredibly beautiful and… alive.

Mustering up the courage she had to push away any doubt, she breathed deeply, her lashes fluttering as she began to piece herself together in front of him.  ”Okay,” she said when she opened her eyes to look back at him.  ”Okay, I would really like to try, too.”

He nodded, his breaths still coming out uneven at the sight of her in front of him, within arms reach.  It killed him that he couldn’t comment on how stunning she looked, how intoxicating her sweet perfume was, tearing at his insides as he ignored the itch in his hands that longed to caress the exposed skin of her thighs.  ”Okay, good,” he swallowed.

“Now what?” They both said, simultaneously, laughing out into the night.

Harry gave her one of his infamous goofy expressions, her giggles creating butterflies in his stomach.  ”Let’s get back inside and enjoy the evening.  Shall we?” Harry stood up, extending his hand to help her up.

Anna hesitated for a couple beats, staring at the hand that had memorized every shape of her body.  And when her eyes lifted to his, he gave her a comforting smile, full of warmth that made her melt.  Placing her gentle hand in his, she stood up and smoothed out the skirt of her dress with her free hand.  ”We shall.”

Just before they walked through the door, back to the lively party that was happening on the other side of it, Anna felt his grip on her tighten ever so slightly before he released it, her hand falling limp to her side.  His warmth may have faded with the cold air, but the tingles that were from his touch were still very much present.

——

“Hello, may I speak with Miss Caro, please?” A sophisticated female voice drifted through the other end of her mobile.

“Speaking.”

“This is Patrice Langley calling from Savile Row to confirm your appointment for 11 tomorrow morning.”

Anna’s eyes widened in surprise, lifting her hand to lightly smack her forehead.  She had completely forgotten she had scheduled the appointment weeks ago, eagerly taking the first available slot for the packed schedule of the tailor.  ”Oh..um.. about that.”

“You can just walk on to the back of the store once you arrive,” the woman continued.

“But-”

“Please be sure to arrive right on the dot of your scheduled time.”

“But-”

“And we’d appreciate it if you came in with a suit in mind.”

“Oh..” Anna panicked, not knowing how to inform the woman who would not let her get a word in that she had made the arrangements when she was still with Harry as a surprise for him, something she longed to tease him for.  But they were no longer together.

“Any questions?” The harsh tone of the older woman echoed in her ear.

“N-no, ma’am.” She stuttered, intimated.

“Alright then.  11am sharp.”

“Okay, than-” The line went dead.

Fuck.

The buzzer rang out in her flat, startling her as she frantically jumped to the security system by the door.  ”Yes?” She asked, out of breath.

“Hey, it’s me,” came the familiar deep voice.

“Come on up.” She pressed down on the button to allow him access, trying to formulate a successful plan to get him to go to the tailor shop in the morning.  He was going to hate her for this.

“Do you want something to drink? Coke? Water? Beer?” She asked as he stepped inside after Dave swept through the flat.  She made her way towards the refrigerator, thinking up different ways to bring it up in casual conversation.

“Beer’s good.” He strolled to the breakfast bar where there were puzzle pieces scattered, surrounding the half finished display of a picture.  “What the bloody hell is that?“

Anna looked over her shoulder from where she was peering into the fridge, bent at the waist to rummage for a bottle of beer. “It’s a puzzle.”

Harry’s brows furrowed together in confusion as he studied the crooked smile of a boy.  ”Why does it have a face?”

Anna chuckled. “It’s a belated birthday gift from my nephew. He has a thing with puzzles.”

“Cute.” Harry nodded, lips pursed together.  “Bizarre, but cute.“

She handed him his beverage before leaning on the countertop, picking up a puzzle piece and laying it in it’s correct place in an attempt to act casual. “Yep, that’s Benny alright.”

Tilting the glass bottle back after expertly twisting off the cap, Harry chugged almost half the contents, his eyes watching her continue the task.  Liquid almost spouted out of his mouth and nose when she sucked her lower lip into her mouth as she studied a piece.

Fuck.

Annalisa caught the dribble of beer that rolled down his chin before he quickly wiped it dry. “You alright there?” She teased, giggling at his dumbfounded expression.

“Uh,yeah.. Sure, yeah..” he stammered.

“Did you forget how to properly drink?”

Harry barked out a laugh, giving her a lopsided grin.  ”Shut up.”

She licked her lips in preparation.  There was no way of getting around it, she just had to get it out there and roll with it.  ”So I need your help with something.”

Harry nodded, taking a closer look at the puzzle.  He picked one up and laid it down, connecting it correctly to finish the top corner.  ”You’re welcome,” he grinned, cheekily.

Anna rolled her eyes with a laugh.  ”Very funny.  No, I need to go dress shopping for Jake’s engagement party.”

Harry took another swig of beer before swiping his tongue across his upper lip.  ”Sure.  But wouldn’t you much rather have Mags or Beth even for something like that?”

Shit.  She didn’t think of that.  ”No, I need a guy’s opinion,” she recovered, the lie surprisingly tumbling out of her mouth easily.  ”Please?” She batted her eyes at him, Harry chuckling.

“Okay, sure.. what time?”

“Can you pick me up at like 10:15 tomorrow morning?”

Harry pulled a face.  ”That early?”

“I have work at 6,” she explained.

He groaned.  ”Just how long do you think shopping is going to take?”

“There are a few shops I want to hit before I decide anything,” she smiled sweetly.

He was regretting the agreement already.

——————

“What exactly are we doing at Savile Row?”

“I figured while we were out, we would get you a more fitting suit.” Anna said, stalking towards the display of several ties that were lined up on a wooden table.

“More fitting suit?” Harry questioned, following after with her bags in his hands.  “What’s that supposed to mean?“

“Harry,” Anna started, fingering a light colored blue tie with white stripes.  “People are constantly commenting on your loose trousers.  You can’t be oblivious to it.“

“People?” Harry repeated, his tone dripping with amusement.  “And who might these people be?“

“Tumblr blogs, mostly.”

Harry lifted his brows, focusing his attention on her as she absentmindedly answered him, studying two overpriced pieces of material that weren’t his taste.  ”You search me on Tumblr?”

Anna quickly glanced at him, but he caught the twinkle in her eye before she turned away.  ”I may or may not run a Prince Harry blog,” she said without a trace of playfulness.

Harry let out a laugh, shaking his head and Anna smirked.  ”It would be more believable if you said you ran an anti-Prince Harry blog.”

Anna gave him a sly grin.  ”I never said it was a fan blog.”

“Touche.”

“Skip runs the blog that posts your goofy faces,” She joked.  “The url is ‘themanyfacesofph.tumblr.com’”

Harry couldn’t keep the laughter to himself as he felt it rumble in his chest.  ”I need to keep you away from that wanker.”

“Oh, he’s harmless.”

He cocked a brow.  ”Harmless? Are we talking about the same guy here?”

“Shush,” She giggled.

Anna anxiously glanced at her watch for the upteenth time that morning.  He first noticed it at the first shop they went to, where she purchased the evening gown for his mate’s party.  He didn’t think much of it, knowing it’d be best to keep watch on the time since she had work.  But her facial expression was more tense every time she went to check it as soon as they stepped foot into the store.  Something was most definitely up with her.

“Is there some place you need to be?” Harry asked, curiously.

She looked at him nervously, taking a calming breath.  ”Okay, don’t get mad..”

Harry quirked a brow.  ”I don’t like where this is going.”

Anna smiled innocently, hoping to soften the blow with the fluttering of her lashes.  ”I made an appointment with a tailor for you…”

He groaned in response, rolling his eyes.  ”Annalisa,” he said, annoyed.

She cringed, her shoulders curling up and her face forming a guilty expression.  ”I know, I know.. but I really think you could benefit from it.”

Harry glared at her.  ”You’ve got to be kidding me.”

She grabbed his arm before he could turn to go and walk out of the store.  ”This is about having a presentable wardrobe.”

“You are seriously pestering me about ‘presentable wardrobe’ right now? What’s happened to you? Since when did you care about what others think?”

“I don’t care,” Anna began.  “I was joking around earlier.  But you would look much more handsome with some trousers that actually fit you to do you justice and..“ She caught herself, blushing as Harry gazed at her with a cocky grin.  “Nevermind.”

“No, no.. don’t stop that now.  What were you saying? Something about how sexy my bod is..?” He teased.

“Shut up.” Anna pulled him by the arm, leading him towards the back of the store where she was instructed to meet the clerk that would be assisting them, Harry resisting the entire way.

An hour later, the tailor huffed and puffed while turning to walk away from the duo, grumbling the whole way.  ” _Prince of Wankers_ is more like it.”

“Would it kill you to be nice?” Anna scoffed, folding her arms as Harry scowled at her.

“I don’t know how many times I have to stress to you that I’m always fucking nice.” He turned to his reflection, stretching his arms in various positions, frowning at the way the material felt too constricted.

“You didn’t have to be so flipping rude to the poor guy.”

Harry glared at her through the mirror.  ”He felt me up!”

She rolled her eyes, uncrossing her arms and coming up behind him.  ”He did not feel you up, you big baby,” she hissed in a low tone.  She smoothed out the material across his shoulder blades, appreciating the feel of his hard muscles under the soft touch of her hands.

“I just let some other bloke touch the family jewels for you.  The least you could do is refrain from the name calling.”

“Ha! I wasn’t aware we were at The Tower of London,” Anna snorted at her own joke, but Harry narrowed his eyes, unamused.  “Oh, come on.  Laugh.  It was funny.“

“Hardly.”

She ignored his comment and focused on smoothing out any wrinkles.  ”It looks good.”

“It’s too tight,” he whined, ignoring the shivers that were coursing through him at her close proximity.

“It is not.”

He smirked mischieviously.  ”You wanna inspect the crotch area? Sure feels too tight there.”

Anna rolled her eyes, a pink tint appearing on her cheeks.  ”Pig.”

Harry’s smirk turned into a wide grin, his teeth showing.  ”Oink, oink.”

She grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him to face her.  She could feel his eyes on her, making her hands slightly tremble as she grabbed hold of the lapels of his suit jacket, tugging it together.  The feel of his chest rising and falling steadily caused her own breathing to become uneven, her lips parting and forming an ‘o’ shape.

“Annalisa,” he said, huskily, bringing a hand up to lift her chin.

“Harry,” her angelic voice whispered as her eyes met his intense stare.

“Your Royal Highness..” The tailor interrupted, Harry and Anna whipping their heads in his direction, guilt written across their features as if they were caught in a compromising position.

“Yes?” Harry asked, sharply.

The tailor smiled gently from witnessing the small display of affection.  The tabloids were constantly reporting of a split or an impending engagement between them, so his granddaughters told him.  He had always been doubtful of any true love being in well known couples, with all the rumors that were being spread of unfaithfulness for years and years.  But when he caught the duo, pure love and adoration is what he witnessed.

“Pardon my interruption, sir.  Your signature is required at the desk up front.”

“Yes,” Harry cleared his throat.  “Thank you.”

The older man nodded, sharing a small smile with Annalisa before turning to allow them their privacy.

Anna kept her head ducked to avoid his stare, knowing her cheeks were blazing.  She slowly backed away from him, her hands falling free from his chest.

“Sorry,” she weakly apologized, turning to pick up the discarded bags and following in the direction of the tailor.

Harry threaded his fingers through his hair aggressively, agitated.  “Fuck me.”

———

“Ugh,” Anna groaned, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders and shuffling to the door.  “What?“ She snapped.

Harry’s amused laugh could be heard through the intercom speaker.  ”What crawled up your arse?”

“Shut up.  Go away.” She sniffled.

Harry grew concerned at the sound of her sniffles.  She had called him an hour ago to cancel their lunch plans, her reason being that she was feeling under the weather.  But he would be gone for a month soon enough, and he didn’t want to miss any opportunity to spend time with her.

They had been in contact every day since the dinner party, and he couldn’t deny the balance of friends and something more sometimes became blurred.  But when he was about to reach out to hold her or kiss her, he was instantly reminded that he wasn’t able to do that.  It took every ounce of strength there was in him to stop himself before he would cross that line, ruining their relationship.

“Let me up.”

“No,” came her short reply.

“Anna, I would prefer to have this little tiff in private, where there aren’t passerbyers that can clearly hear you.  Buzz me in.” Her reply came in the form of the door to the outside building unlocking, granting him access.

When she opened the door and let Dave sweep her apartment, he took in her appearance.  Her skin was blotchy, her eyes puffy, and she kept sniffling while tugging the blanket around her more securely.

“What?” She frowned, clearly not in the best of moods.

He held up the brown paper bag he had in one hand.  ”I brought lunch.” She winced, slouching her shoulders forward to breathe through the pain.  ”God, are you alright?”

She simply nodded, standing in a normal position a moment later.  Dave appeared and gave them a curt nod.  ”All set, sir.”

“Thanks, man.” He stepped inside and dropped the takeout on the counter, turning to her.  “What’s wrong? You said you were ill but I assumed it was a common cold of some sort.“

“I’m fine, really,” she reassured.

Harry placed his hands on his hips, giving her an unconvinced look.  ”You winced in pain, Annalisa.”

“I’m fine, Harry,” Anna rolled her eyes and walked away from him, returning to the spot she had made home since she awoke hours ago.  “You can see yourself out.“ She paused, before adding.  “Leave the food.”

Harry’s patience grew thin with her bitchy mood, and he contemplated leaving just like she wanted him to.  But instead of doing so, he strolled into her living room and plopped himself down on the sofa next to her.  ”I’m not going anywhere so you might as well lose the bitch attitude and tell me what’s wrong with you.”

She shifted her attention from the television to look at him.  ”I’m on my period, genius,” she confessed.  Harry’s immediate reaction was to scrunch up his nose in disgust.  Anna’s eyes widened in embarrassment and she shoved him as he laughed, apologetically.  ”Jerk,” she muttered under her breath.

“I’m sorry, love,” he laughed.  “But that sure does explain a lot.“

She squinted at him.  ”I hate you so much right now.”

He shrugged in reply.  ”That’s just the crazy hormones talking.”  He stood up and walked into the kitchen, Anna’s eyes following him.

“What are you doing?” She asked as he reached up to grab a heating pad from her first aid cabinet.

“Grabbing you a heating pad.” He answered.

Tears pooled in her eyes at the notion.  They had been together for a few months, but Harry had only experienced her being on her time of month once due to the type of birth control she was on.  And that one time he was there to witness it, he saw that she didn’t use any type of pain reliever; just a heating pad to ease the cramps.

The microwave beeped and he was back seconds later.  She quickly blinked the tears away and smiled gratefully at him.  ”You remembered,” she gushed.  He gestured for her to lay back and she obeyed, sighing in content when he placed the warm pad on her lower belly.

“Of course I remembered.” Harry returned to his spot, gently lifting her feet to place on his lap and turned his attention to the television.  “Christ, is this Happy Feet?“

Anna laughed, focusing on the kid movie again.  ”It makes me feel better.”

“You’re weird.”

“You are,” she retorted, her eyes never leaving the film on the screen.

Minutes went by without either of them speaking, enjoying the upbeat movie and each other’s company.  Harry had instinctively began rubbing her legs, kneading her calves to distract the cramps.  She hummed in approval, smiling at a cute scene.

Awhile later, Harry concerningly turned to her when she hissed in discomfort.  ”What is it?”

“My back hurts now,” she whined.

Harry chuckled.  ”Come on, then.” He helped her sit up and shift her position to cuddle into him so he could soothingly rub her back.  Anna’s eyes fluttered shut, sighing as the ache eased instantly.  ”Better?”

“Much,” she whispered, snuggling closer to him.

The next time Anna opened her eyes, she stared into darkness.  Her brows furrowed together as she wracked her brain to remember what had happened.  She had fallen asleep while watching a movie, but the television was now turned off.  She lifted her head from Harry’s lap and blinked, trying to force her eyes to adjust to the dark.

She peered at him and saw he was fast asleep, his head leaning back on the sofa, lips slightly parted.  She giggled, anticipating the moment she could tease him about how he drools in his sleep.

The shake of her body is what woke Harry up, lifting his hand up to wipe at his mouth in confusion.  He could feel her still laughing, her giggles being muffled by her hand.  ”What?”

“You drool.”

“Do not,” he growled, shifting his head from side to side to work out the kinks in his neck from the awkward position.  “What time is it?“ He yawned.

Anna reached over to grab her phone from the coffee table, squinting at the intrusive bright light.  ”11:40.”

“Bloody hell,” he cursed, helping her to the side so he could stand up.  “I’ve gotta get on home,“ he said, rubbing his eyes.  “I’ve got a meeting with Paul in the morning.”

Anna nodded, moving to stand as well.  She felt her way to switch on the light and smiled at his disheveled appearance, his clothes wrinkled and eyes swollen from sleep.  Harry returned her smile, fighting the urge to take her in his arms at the thought of being away from her for a whole month.  ”I’m leaving day after tomorrow.”

“I know,” she said, softly.  Truth was that she was going to miss him terribly.  She didn’t know how she was going to handle it, really.  But Maggie had already included her in different outings to keep her mind busy, and she had picked up extra shifts at the hospital, thankfully.  It was going to be a busy month, for sure.

“Are you going to miss me?” He asked with a playful smirk, making his way to the door.

“Not in the slightest,” she lied, giggling when his face fell into a pout.  “Can I see you before you go?“

“I’d love that.” Harry replied, opening the door.  “Dinner?“

“Sounds good.”  She opened her mouth to say something else, to ask him to stay due to the late hour.  She wanted him to.  But she knew that would be going against everything they were trying to do.  “Thank you for tonight,“ she said instead.

Harry shrugged and threw a wink her way.  ”What are friends for?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)


	4. How a Maybe Brought Hope

“Come on, come on, come on,” Anna chanted, stretching up to reach the top cabinet above the stove where she kept the baking dishes for special occasions.  She gasped when the chair she stood on wobbled with her trembling legs, cursing under her breath as she fought for balance.  Once she was steady, she thought of how much she wished she could call up Harry to take advantage of his height.  She envisioned him easily pulling out the bakeware, teasing her small frame as she playfully poked his side.

“Giant,” she muttered, reaching up on her tiptoes in another attempt.

It had been a week without him, but in that week she had gotten several alerts from google on her mobile with new pictures of him.  He looked good, incredibly sexy with his ginger scruff that she longed to itch and spent night after night dreaming of how good the scratchy burn would feel on her skin.

“Yes!” She exclaimed, grinning proudly as she placed the dishes safely on the counter. “Who says you need a man?”

Securely holding onto the back of the chair with one hand and the countertop with the other, she hopped down to the floor, breathing a sigh of relief when her socked feet landed flat on the floor.  “Alright, Caro, you live to see another day.”

She checked the time, calculating she had just about six more hours before she would sign onto the program she used to partake in Thanksgiving dinner with her family back home.  As she grabbed the eggs and flour she needed, her phone alerted her of a new message.

She peeked down at it, half expecting to see a google alert, but her heart sank in disappointment when “Happy Turkey Day!” appeared as a text from Gabe.

Typing a quick reply to her brother-in-law, she sighed deeply and let her mind wander to the last time she saw the man that gave her heart palpitations in the flesh.

———-

_“Whoa, where did this scruff come from? I swear it wasn’t there last night.”_

_“You should get your eyes checked, grandma,” Harry teased, passing a hand across the stubble of his unshaven face as he stood up and made his way towards her._

_She narrowed her eyes at the comment before shrugging in agreement, allowing him to push in her chair when she sat down.  Smiling softly in appreciation at his genuine gentleman nature, she waited until he took the seat across from her before folding the napkin neatly on her lap.  Her curious eyes scanned the dimmed restaurant, candles casting a warm glow that made her more skittish, unsure of why Harry would bring her to an elaborate restaurant._

_”Fancy place, Wales.” She leaned forward and lowered her voice just enough to be heard over the faint sounds of the orchestra.  ”Did you know they have a coat check here?”_

_He chuckled, folding his arms on the table and moving forward, imitating her.  ”Are you impressed?”_

_She quirked a brow, a hint of a smile on her glossed lips.  ”Was that your intention?”_

_“Was it?”_

_“Are you going to answer everything with a question?”_

_Harry threw her a flirty wink, a sly grin adorning his face.  ”Are you going to keep questioning me?”_

_Her eyes rolled towards the high ceiling, hiding the amazement of the chandelier that sparkled with the surroundings.  ”I can’t wait to be rid of you.”_

_“Pft! You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone,” he said, leaning back in his seat to openly admire the long sleeved black dress she wore.  It was low cut, just enough for him to appreciate the rounded tops of her breasts, and his legs found a slight bounce when his trousers tightened._

_Anna felt her cheeks blazing, her own eyes looking over his muscular chest and broad shoulders that were covered with a light blue buttoned down shirt, emphasizing his blue orbs that made her tremble with want._

_“You look beautiful,” he complimented._

_“Thank you.” Anna’s blush deepened, as she took small sips of water, desperate to cool the heat that was coursing through her entire being.  “As opposed to yesterday?“_

_Harry pulled a face.  ”Definitely.”_

_Her mouth dropped open, and she kicked his shin underneath the table as he snickered.  ”Bastard!”_

_“Good evening, Your Royal Highness,” the waiter interrupted, paying no attention to the lift of Anna’s brows as she mouthed ‘royal highness’ at Harry._

_After ordering their expensive dishes, along with an equally extravagant bottle of wine, they fell into conversation of what she would be doing for the several weeks he would be away._

_“Next week is Thanksgiving and every year I make the traditional dishes and have dinner with the crazy Caros through Skype.”_

_Harry chuckled.  ”Dinner with the Caros? Glad I won’t be around to witness that disaster.”_

_Anna smiled, excitement consuming her at the anticipated holiday.  She couldn’t wait to see them, to share laughs with the people that had always been there for her, even when she wasn’t being the best daughter or sibling._

_“It should be interesting to see how far the insults will go this year,” she laughed.  Harry caught the sparkle of her golden eyes, the bounce of his leg speeding up as he fought to keep himself in check. “My grandma’s, especially.“_

_“I’m kinda bummed I won’t be around for the home cooked meal,” he confessed._

_“I’ll host a welcome home dinner when you get back,” she announced, getting a look of surprise._

_“Really?” Harry asked, skeptical._

_“Sure, why not?” She answered.  “We are friends, right?“_

_Harry cleared his throat, growing uncomfortable as he shifted in his seat.  ”Right.” He wiped his brow of invisible sweat, his eyes darting around nervously._

_Anna noticed the change in his posture, but before she could call him out on it, Harry threw her off with a serious question, one that she had been avoiding.  ”How are you doing with Finn’s deployment being next week?”_

_It was Anna’s turn to squirm in her seat, pressing her lips together.  ”I’ve been trying not to think about it.”_

_Harry felt awful for bringing it up when her happy expression changed to a pained one.  ”I’m sorry, love,” he apologized with a wince._

_“No, don’t apologize.  I appreciate your concern,” she reassured him with a grateful smile.  “I’m.. the way everyone is before a loved one ships off to war.“_

_Harry nodded, sympathetically.  ”Have you spoken to your mum?”_

_“No.  I’m terrible, I know.” Anna grimaced.  “I miss her, I do.  She’s an incredible woman that I admire greatly and I know how hard it must be for her having to see another son off to danger.“_

_She paused.  “But I know how much it bothers her that me and my dad aren’t on the best of terms. And she has a habit of taking his side no matter what.  I don’t think I can handle that right now.”_

_Anna knew how selfish and self-absorbed she was acting, despising that quality that crept up every now and then.  Kathie had blamed it on her being the only girl of the family when she discussed it years ago with her after a petty argument with Luke over their different personalities.  But Anna was aware there would be no proper excuse for acting the way she did at times._

_Harry chuckled, thinking of how different their upbringing was.  His childhood was mostly of his parents arguing, being on different sides with him and his brother in the middle of it all until they parted ways.  ”It’s a successful marriage, though.”_

_“Yeah but,” she sighed.  “Don’t get me wrong, she does stand up for us.  She tries to convince him to let things go.  It’s just when he’s not around, she tends to talk us into being the first to make amends with him because she knows how stubborn he is.  And it makes us look like we are in the wrong,” she complained._

_Their discussion was briefly interrupted as the waiter came back around with their salads and poured each a glass of the white wine that was highly recommended._

_“I don’t know, I’m being stupid,” she continued after voicing her thanks, instantly regretting for complaining about her family to him._

_“You’re not being stupid.  I can see how frustrating that is.  I never really experienced that.  My parents were always so against each other and it was no secret.”_

_Her eyes softened, Harry tensing at the sympathy in her wet eyes.  ”Harry, I’m so-“_

_“Enough about that,” he said, pouring the dressing over his salad, drenching it.  “I know you don’t appreciate your mum pushing you into a reconciliation with your dad, but I think you should make an effort with her.  Especially with Finn’s deployment around the corner.  I’m sure she’d love to hear your lovely voice.“_

_Anna smiled, blinking the tears away as she let his advice sink in.  He was right, of course she knew he was.  ”You’re right.”_

_He gave her a dubious look.  ”Wow, it was that easy for you to come to terms with the obvious?”_

_She suppressed a giggle, and redirected her focus across the table at his plate, watching as he sauced up the greens.  It was one of the things she loved about him, just for the simple fact that it was one of his habits that just made him… him.  It was a tidbit that only those close to him knew of, and she felt honored to be considered part of that._

_Just as she was about to compliment his ways of dressing up his salad, her phone rang in her clutch. “Sorry,” she mumbled, searching for the device.  ”Could be the hospital.”_

_“Go ahead, it doesn’t bother me,” he said, stabbing the crisp lettuce and chewing loudly._

_“Oh, my god,” Anna laughed when she peered down at the screen._

_“What?” Harry asked in between bites.  She lifted the mobile and turned it so he could see ‘Maggie’ on the caller id.  He rolled his eyes, then chomped on a soggy crouton._

_“Hey, Maggie,” she answered, wrinkling her nose as Harry poured more dressing on the saturated lettuce.  He gave her a goofy grin in reply.  “Yes, 7am sharp… I’m not going to flake out! I’ll be ready at 6:45 just to prove you wrong… Okay, make that 6:55… I think we should start off with just cardio before we go into the arm lifts… Because I haven’t worked out in forever!… Maggie, you’re going to break me…” She laughed at what Maggie said, Harry looking up apprehensively at what Maggie would reveal.  “I’m at dinner with Harry right now… Yep, he’s here… What’s so funny?..“ Anna blushed.  “Shut up!”_

_Harry reached across the table and snatched the mobile from her.  ”Goodbye, Mags.” He ended the call, Maggie’s protests wafting through the air between them from the other end of the speaker._

_“Harry!” She chortled, extending her arm to take the phone from him.  Just as she grasped the mobile, their hands grazed, shooting tingles from the tips of their fingertips all the way up their arm.  Their lips parted slightly, both taking shallow breaths at the spark.  “Oh,” Anna breathed out, slowly bringing her hand back to her lap._

_Harry snapped out of the trance, blinking rapidly before recovering.  He could see her working through the jumbled thoughts in her head, her forehead creased and her eyes looking right through him.  He had to get them back on the right track if he wanted tonight to be in his favor._

_“Working out?” He asked with a teasing smile._

_Anna shook her head slightly, clearing her mind to push forward with the evening without any discomfort.  ”Ugh, she dragged me into this health kick she’s on.  She needed a partner to keep her motivated so she can fit into the dress for Jake’s wedding.”_

_Harry snorted.  ”Women.”_

_“Says the guy who benches whatever it is six times a week.”_

_He laughed, then flexed his muscles.  ”Don’t hate on these big guns right here.”_

_Anna ducked her head, hiding her mortified expression with her hand.  ”Please don’t do that here!” She hissed, sneaking a glance around at the other diners that were discreetly watching them ever since she arrived._

_“What? Don’t do this?” Harry smiled mischievously, then noisily kissed each arm, Anna’s giggles escaping through her lips before she could stop them._

_“I hate you,” she lied.  “Can’t take you anywhere.“_

_—————-_

_“Wow,” Anna whistled as the valet pulled up in a black Audi.  “Nice wheels.“_

_Harry smile stretched from ear to ear.  ”I make do.” He guided her to the other side of the car with a gentle hand on her lower back and discreetly handed the attendant a hefty tip.  When he opened the door for her, Anna slipped inside the vehicle, her heart beat wildly in her chest._

_Tonight felt more like a date, not a dinner between two friends like it was supposed to be.  She should have been suspicious when Harry sent her a cryptic text that morning, informing her it would be best if she wore the appropriate attire for fine wine and dining._

_They spent the evening flirting, sharing long glances during the patches of awkward silence.  Hell, they even went as far enough as feeding each other samples from their forks.  They were acting the same way they did when they were an official couple._

_“Crap,” she muttered, feeling foolish for once again leading him on._

_But was she really?_

_Harry knew she wasn’t able to give him more, he knew she was serious about their situation. There was no way he thought tonight was a…date.  Right?_

_Or was this all part of his plan? Was he really trying to woo her? Was his intention to impress her and make her realize she did want to be more than just friends?_

_Harry shivered from the cold night air when he got situated behind the wheel.  ”Damn, it’s cold.”_

_Anna forced the thoughts to the back of her mind, remembering this would be the last time she would see him until the New Years Eve party Liv was hosting._

_“Uh, sorry to inform you but.. If you think this is cold, you’ve got a long month ahead of you, captain.”_

_Harry laughed, fumbling with the controls to turn up the heat.  ”They’re going to despise me out there.”_

_Anna smiled.  ”Nah, they’re lucky to have you.” He stole a glance at her, expecting to see a sarcastic smirk, but there wasn’t any evidence of one._

_“You think so?” He asked, giving her the opportunity to insult him as he checked his mirrors to make sure the security team was ready and started to make the journey to her flat._

_“I know so,” Anna said, admiring how manly and sexy he looked with one hand on the wheel and the other fidgeting with the gear._

_“What’d I do to earn a compliment? Was it the chocolate lava cake?”_

_She giggled, unconsciously licking her lips to taste the heavenly dessert that still lingered.  ”No, but that did help.”_

_Her eyes shifted from the side of his face that was illuminated by the city lights to his hand that gripped the shift stick.  The strong urge to feel his grip on hers could be felt deep in her belly, and without thinking much further, she slid closer to him in her seat and covered his hand with hers, with not a single moment of hesitation._

_Harry’s heart nearly jumped in his throat at her soft touch, the sweet gesture of her lovingly caressing his skin, warming him up instantly.  Not daring to steal a glance at her, fretting it would ruin the dreamy state she must’ve been in after the lovely evening, he turned his palm over and intertwined their fingers._

_Anna fought to keep her breaths even, not wanting him to know how much their clasped hands affected her.  She missed this.  She missed being affectionate with him, even the small act of holding his hand as he drove her home causing the butterflies to flutter around wildly in her stomach._

_But it still wasn’t enough._

_Needing to be nearer to him, she scooted close enough so her head could easily rest on his shoulder.  “You’re amazing to be going on this adventure, Harry.  This is a big thing, you’re risking your own life to bring recognition to those soldiers and the charity.  What you do, who you are.. it’s inspiring. They’re going to love having you there, keeping their heads up through the challenge.” She spoke from personal experience, Harry helping her in ways that he could never know.  He had no idea how she was slowly piecing herself back together.. because of him._

_The soft spoken words did wonders to his heart, and he swore she could feel the hard pounding of it, beating out of his chest.  He leaned his head to rest on hers.  ”Thank you, love.”_

_And as the car sped through the dark night, the stars shining brightly in the clear sky, they remained silent, relishing the last moments they had together, their hands clasped._

_———_

_“So, guess this is it,” Harry said when they stopped at her door._

_She glanced at the door in dread, not ready for the night to be over.  Turning to him, she forced a smile.  ”Yeah, guess it is.  Thank you for a lovely evening.”_

_“Thank you for joining me.”_

_Awkwardness settled between them, an intense attraction ever present.  Harry cocked his head to the side, his intent stare causing her heart to soar.  ”So..” He trailed, unsure of what to do, but avoiding the inevitable goodbye._

_“So,” she parroted.  “Be careful out there.“_

_Harry nodded, his stomach dipping with the realization that this was really the last time he would get to see her angelic face for awhile, already missing her immensely.  ”I will,” he promised._

_“No frostbite, okay?” Anna half joked, getting a chuckle from him._

_“I’ll try my absolute best.”_

_Anna moved forward to wrap her arms around him, Harry instantly hugging her close to him.  He breathed against her dark hair, closing his eyes as he inhaled her shampoo, the signature scent that still lingered on his bed sheets, driving him mad late at night._

_“I’ll miss you,” she whispered into his neck, tickling the tiny hairs that were growing thicker._

_“Miss you, too, love.”_

_Anna squeezed him tight before lifting her head to place an innocent kiss on his bristly cheek.  But her lips found his on their own accord, kissing him softly directly on the mouth._

_Harry’s instinct was to respond, not once questioning the intimate act after she initiated the handholding in the car.  But the kiss ended just as quick as it had begun, Anna pulling back and looking like deer caught in headlights.  She took a few steps back, fingers hovering over her betrayal lips.  ”I’m so sorry.. It was just- out of habit.  I don-“_

_Harry’s face fell at her back paddling, regret filling her eyes, a stab to his chest.  He sighed dishearteningly, shaking his head and clearing his throat.  ”Of course, of course.”_

_“I’m sorry, Harry.”_

_Soft eyes met hers.  ”No, it’s alright. It was just a.. kiss for luck.” He forced a comforting smile._

_Anna returned his smile, relief washing over her as he confirmed he wasn’t upset with her.  ”Yeah, exactly.”_

_Harry cleared his throat again, his gaze landing on her mouth when she brought her trembling hand back to her side, revealing the twitch of her lips that begged for the warmth of his again._

_Breaths came out in pants, chests heaved with uncontrollable need, and lustful eyes met.  Neither one knew who was the first to shuffle forward, but they couldn’t deny the sparks that flew once their lips crashed, meshing together passionately.  Every emotion, every fantasy and every ache they held for each other was poured into the kiss.  It had been weeks since they engaged in such an act, and their mouths were devouring as if it had been ages._

_Anna’s hands went to the back of his head, twirling the overgrown hair at the nape of his neck. Harry lifted his own to cradle her pink cheeks as he slipped his tongue in her waiting mouth, exploring every inch he could find inside, eliciting a low groan from her._

_It felt so right, so good to be this close again, not thinking of anything else but how much passion and love they had towards another, pushing the thoughts of his impending departure aside.  If he could, he would stay here with her forever, right outside her flat door._

_Harry moaned when she angled her head to deepen the kiss further, her own warm tongue tangling with his as she brought his head closer.  They couldn’t get enough, didn’t want to stop as their tongue slid wetly together while they clung desperately to another._

_Moments passed before Anna couldn’t fight against the need to breathe any longer, tearing her mouth from his and gasping for air._

_Harry panted, fanning her face with his quick, short breaths.  ”Annalisa,” his husky voice sent shivers down her body, wetness pooling in between her quivering thighs._

_She took two steps back, still fighting for air to enter her lungs as she came to her senses.  ”Shit, that was..”_

_“Amazing, incredible, fantastic?” He listed, studying her as she avoided his stare._

_She took another step back, desperately needing as much space as possible.  ”Awful of me,” she croaked._

_Harry could feel his heart break, the familiar disappointment creeping up to the surface.  ”What?”_

_She combed her fingers through her hair as she tried to calm the raging desire to kiss him again.  “I’m sorry, I can’t.  And that was very misleading of me and just.. awful.” Her voice cracked at the last word._

_“Hey,” Harry said, shifting his weight from foot to foot.  “It’s alright, really.  We both got carried away, it was bound to happen.“_

_“I really want to take this friendship serious, Harry.” She rubbed her face in aggravation.  “But I keep fucking it up.“_

_“Anna, it’s fine.  It happened.  It’s done.”_

_“What do we do?” Anna groaned behind her hands, berating herself internally for doing this to him repeatedly._

_Harry took the couple steps forward to reach her and uncovered her face, bringing her hands down, a sense of pride filling him when he caught the slight red scratches from his growing beard.  ”We do nothing.  We agree to not talk about it.  It was just.. nothing.”_

_The uncertainty in her eyes was unmistakable as she looked back at his sad expression, well aware that he was trying to act unaffected to make it easier on her.  ”Really?” She whispered._

_He slowly nodded, swallowing.  ”Really.  Why discuss it when it’ll only bring us back to the petty argument that gets us nowhere? We’re friends.”_

_Anna breathed deeply, pondering it.  He had a point, although it was her fault they were going around in circles.  ”Right,” she agreed._

_“Right then.  I better go.  Early morning and all.”_

_“Okay, yeah.” She went to hug him once more, this time patting his back awkwardly.  “Good luck out there, Wales.  Be safe.“_

_“Thank you,” he patted her back the same way before releasing her.  “I’ll call you when I get back.“_

_“I’d like that.” She smiled, gratefully._

_“Until New Years?”_

_“New Years,” she confirmed with a firm nod._

_Harry turned to go, but paused to look over her just one more time, taking a mental photograph to keep with him during the long journey he was about to embark.  He scrunched up his nose and pursed his lips, making her giggle and copy his expression._

_“See you, peaches.”_

_“See you, grouch.”_

_——_

_Harry stared up at ceiling, flipping his phone over and over in his hand, sleep not finding him.  In just a matter of a few hours he would have to be up, he would have to board a plane with the others, prepared to keep a mask up at all times.  He tried so hard to be treated the same, and even if people said they looked at him like a regular lad, there was only some truth to that.  No matter what, he was still Prince Harry, and he knew they didn’t forget that._

_Anna’s comforting words flooded back to him.  What he did was inspiring to others.  So why couldn’t he get it in his mind that what he did was enough?_

_He took a deep breath and brought his phone to life, needing to hear her voice to get him out of this gloomy mood._

_“Hello?”_

_He immediately felt better at her sleepy tone.  ”Hey.”_

_“Hey,” she breathed, sliding her feet up the mattress to bend her knees._

_“Were you sleeping?”_

_“Nope.” The fact that he was calling her instead of catching up on valuable sleep before he would start his travels worried her.  “What’s up?”_

_“Can’t sleep.”_

_She turned on her side, head propped on an elbow with the mobile pressed to her ear.  ”Nervous?” She asked, although she knew he was._

_“Guess so,” he sighed._

_“Do you want to talk about it?”_

_Harry rolled onto his stomach, his free arm disappearing under the pillow.  ”Not really, no.”_

_“Okay,” she said, softly._

_“I’m sorry to bother you this late,” he apologized.  “Do you want to go to sleep?“_

_“No, no.  I’m glad you called.”_

_Harry smirked. “Yeah?”_

_“Mhm,” she hummed.  “I couldn’t really sleep either.“_

_Harry’s mind immediately went back to the kiss.  ”Listen, about earlier..”_

_“Harry,” Anna warned.  “We are not talking about that.“_

_“I know but.. I just don’t want it to fuck things up.  And I guess I’m worried you’re going to flake out again because of it.”_

_Anna’s heart ached at his words, knowing it was her fault he had his doubts about her commitment to their friendship.  ”I’m not, I promise.”_

_“Oh, you promise?” He let out a dry laugh.  “Just like you pro-“_

_“Stop.” She pleaded.  “This is why we agreed to not talk about the..“ She trailed off._

_Harry sighed, a stab of guilt in his stomach.  ”I didn’t call to argue,” he said, apologetically._

_“And I didn’t answer to argue.”_

_“I’m just,” he puffed out a held breath.  “I don’t know.  I’m going to be gone for a month.  And then I’ll be at Sandringham for Christmas.“ A moment of pause followed before he said the words that caused Anna’s chest to tighten with anxiety.  “I don’t want you to find somebody else while I’m gone, I guess.”_

_Tears formed in her eyes, and it took everything in her to not breakdown.  ”Harry, I love you,” she whispered._

_Harry’s heart raced at her declaration.  ”I love you, too.”_

_“I don’t think you get it, though.  I love you.  I’m completely, hopelessly in love with you.” She sniffled, falling back on her back.  “I don’t want anyone else.  The situation we are in.. it has nothing to do with you.  It’s me.“_

_“That sounds very cliche, Caro.”_

_Anna laughed, swiping her thumb under her eyes to get rid of the tears.  ”I’m sorry, I know it does. I don’t know, Harry… Maybe..”_

_His ears perked up and his chest constricted in anticipation of what she was going to say.  Maybe? That sounded like.. hopeful._

_“Maybe..?” He questioned when she didn’t continue._

_“Maybe with this time away from each other, I can come to terms with some things and we can try again..” The words were rushed out of her mouth before she lost the nerve to say them.  Harry took a sharp inhale of air, a broad smile forming on his lips.  “It’s not a promise,“ she began.  “It’s a..”_

_“Maybe?” He finished for her._

_She smiled.  “Yeah.”_

_“Okay,” he said.  “I can do maybe.“_

———-

Anna was in the middle of rolling up the biscuits she was baking from scratch when the shrill noise of her phone bounced off the walls, jolting her from her reverie.  She wasn’t surprised to see her mother on the caller ID.  She swiped her pinky on the screen to answer the call, quickly tapping on the speaker option.  ”Happy Thanksgiving!” She greeted, happily.

“Happy Thanksgiving, baby,” her mother replied, a big smile heard in her airy tone. “How are you doing?“

“I’m okay.  I’m sure Nana’s babbled by now.” She didn’t want to prolong the conversation of the breakup with her mother, wanting it to be out in the open to get it over with.

“I heard,” her mom confirmed.  “Do you want to discuss it?“

Anna sighed, dipping the brush in the bowl of melted margarine and laying a light coat on each biscuit.  ”There’s nothing really to talk about,” she said.  ”Things didn’t work out and we are trying out being friends.  Who knows what will happen?”

“Oh, my sweet girl.  I support you with whatever you choose, just as long as it comes from your heart.”

She smirked, predicting those would be her mothers exact words before they were even spoken.  ”Nevermind that.” She slid the baking sheet into the heated oven and wiped her hands on the dish towel, before moving onto the pumpkin pie.  ”How are you doing with Finn’s deployment being tomorrow?”

“Oh, dear,” she laughed lightly as her voice became strained with emotion.  “I’m a blubbering mess.“

Annalisa stopped her movements, wanting nothing more than to be able to reach through the phone and hug her mom. “Mommy..”

“He’s going to be just fine,” she said, determined to believe it.  “He’s a big boy and he can handle himself.  I believe in him.“

“He will be okay.” Anna repeated.

“Yes, he will.” Her mother paused and Anna could hear the clink of dishes in the background.  She smiled, recalling all the years she spent the holiday at home, waking up early with her mom to assist with the cooking of a big feast.  “Are you joining us through the computer?“

“Yep, just like every year,” she answered.  “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.“

“Good,” Lucille gushed.  “I’m happy to have the family all together, even with you being waters away.“

“I know.  I miss you guys.”

“We miss you, baby.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t called, mom.  Things have just been so hectic and I was too nervous to talk to daddy.”

“No, sweetheart.  Don’t you apologize.  I understand completely.” Lucille cleared her throat and Anna knew instantly what was coming.  “Your daddy loves you, you know.  It hurts him that you’ve shut us out and he thinks it’s because of Harry.“

“But-”

“And can you blame him? You haven’t made any effort to smooth things over.”

Anna huffed.  ”He hasn’t either!”

“Annalisa Lucille,” she scolded.  “He’s your father.“

“Ugh, I hate how you always defend him.”

Lucille laughed.  ”He’s my love.  I’ll defend him even beyond the grave.”

Anna snorted, expecting nothing less from her still lovestruck parents, even after 36 years of marriage.

“So, anyway, what are you up to?” She asked, curious to know how much cooking and baking she had done already with the early hour there.

“Pumpkin pie is up next.” Her mother answered.

Anna laughed as she began to mix the ingredients.  ”Me too.”

“Great minds think alike,” Lucille commented.

“True.  Love you, mommy.”

“Love you more, my darling girl.”

——-

“Auntie Leelee! Happy Thanksgiving!” Her niece and nephew greeted her through the computer screen, waving their arms excitedly as they sat next to their mother.

“Hi, my little rascals! Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Did you make a turkey?” Sarah asked.

Anna winked in her direction.  ”I sure did! Would I disappoint Thanksgiving, silly goose?”

“No,” the little girl giggled.  “I made mashed potatoes!“

“Oh, you did?!” Sarah nodded enthusiastically.  “I wish I was there to taste it.  I’m sure it’s absolutely delicious!“

“Stop giving her a pig head, Auntie Leelee,” her nephew said, rolling his eyes in disgust.

“It’s a big head, stupid!” Sarah scolded.

“Hey, hey.. No name calling, please.” Kathie threw a helpless look at Anna, causing her to laugh.

“Hey, you brats!” It was then that Finn made his presence known, immediately ruffling both kids hair before he saw Anna on the screen.  “Look who it is! Nice to know you’re still alive.  Just ignoring my fucking calls, you little bitch,“ Finn said as he glared at her.

“Is that any way to speak to a lady, you little shit?” Rosemary smacked him upside the head, Finn yelping in pain.  “I oughta stick a red pepper in that foul mouth of yours.“

“Do it, nana!” Anna laughed, earning another death glare from her brother.  She responded by childishly sticking her tongue out at him.

“Well, well,” Luke said as he took his seat next to Kathie.  “If it isn’t the future Queen Consort.“

Anna gave him a look.  ”Uh, no.  You clearly don’t know your British history.”

Kathie snorted.  ”He barely knows his American history.”

Luke frowned.  ”What? Oh, cause you broke the poor prince’s heart? Boohoo.”

Anna, Kathie, and Gabe rolled their eyes.  ”Harry most likely won’t ever be King, especially since his brother had a baby.” Gabe explained.

“Harry’s stepmom will be Queen Consort when his grandma passes.” Kathie continued.

“How do you guys know this shit?” Luke asked, breaking off a piece of a bread roll before shoving it in his mouth.

“Cause you’re stupid and we’re smart,” Finn replied.

“Uh, duh.” The majority of the table said.

Anna shook her head at her family.  ”Okay, this conversation is irrelevant anyway.  Harry and I are just friends.”

“Ha! Good friends,” Finn muttered behind his wineglass, winking at her answered glare.

“Are you pissed you won’t be Queen?” Luke teased.

“Be nice to your sister.” She heard her mother say as she took her own seat.  “Luke! We haven’t said grace yet!“

Luke dropped the small piece he had left of his roll, smiling apologetically at his sweet mother.  ”Sorry, Ma.”

Rosemary smacked him upside the head, the same way she did to Finn moments before, as she passed him to grab the platter of stuffed peppers.  The table howled with laughter, Anna included, at his embarrassed expression.

“Ugh, is that grandpa’s disgusting pepper recipe?” Danny commented, wrinkling his nose.

Rosemary eyed him.  ”You’re disgusting,” she retorted.

“Come on, nana! Nobody likes it.” Finn complained.

“Speak for yourselves,” Anna said as she lifted her own plate to show off a stuffed pepper. She giggled at the moans and groans from her brothers and smiled sweetly at her grandma’s look of approval.

“That’s my girl,” Rosemary said.  “That’s why you’re my favorite.“ Anna grinned proudly.

“Hey! You said I was!” Her three brothers protested.

“I was clearly drunk at the time.”

A hush came over the table as Annalisa’s father strolled into the room, everyone immediately throwing Anna sympathetic looks.  Marco glanced at his daughter’s appearance on the computer screen before grabbing the carving knife from the counter.

“Annalisa,” he greeted curtly.

“Hi daddy,” she replied in a small childlike manner.  “Happy Thanksgiving.“

He nodded slightly at her.  ”Nice of you to join us on a family day.”

“Marco,” her mother warned, discreetly shaking her head at him.

“How’s your prince?” He asked, ignoring his wife’s pleas to be pleasant.

“He’s not my prince,” she sighed.  “Harry and I are just friends, daddy.“

“Well,” he said, cutting into the turkey expertly.  “Can’t say I didn’t see that one coming.“

“Marco,” Lucille warned again.  “Not today.  Please.”

He paused momentarily, shifting his attention to his daughter, really looking at her for the first time in almost a year.  His anger and hurt melted away at her pleading eyes, sadness consuming them.  He hated seeing his baby girl that way, especially knowing it was because of his harsh treatment.  A small smile graced his features, widening when Anna smiled back.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Annalisa.”

She breathed a sigh of relief, and there was no mistaken the rest of the family did, as well.

“Now that that’s over, let’s get grace going so we can eat.  Some of us aren’t as young as we used to be,” Her nana joked.

“Mother,” Marco laughed along with the table.

“You’ll still be kicking it well after all of us,” Danny commented.

“Who says I was talking about me? Have you seen the wrinkles on your face lately?” She snapped.

“What?! Nana!”

“I’ve got cream if you want to borrow it some time,” she said, earning howls of laughter from all around.

“I keep telling him to lotion every day but he ignores me!” Gabe exclaimed, lightly smacking his husband’s flushed face.

Anna sat back, taking it all in.  She missed them immensely, no doubt.  They were unstable, and poked fun at each other all the time, but she wouldn’t trade them for the world.  They were her family, and she adored all of their crazy.

She caught her mom’s knowing look and shared a secret smile with her.  Anna’s smiled widened when her mom pressed her fingertips to her lips to blow her a loving kiss, mouthing an I love you.  Anna mouthed it back, making a promise to herself to call her mother more often, always feeling comforted when she did.

——

Later that evening, slightly buzzed from the three glasses of wine she had consumed, Anna sat on the sofa sorting through two days worth of mail.  It was the first time she was able to sit back and unwind as the holiday back home came to an end for her, and although she was stuffed from overeating all day, that didn’t stop her from indulging on another piece of apple pie as she sipped on cider.

Maggie had sent her a message to remind her of their gym plans for the following morning and Anna vowed to herself she wouldn’t let her new friend know just how far off she had gone from their ‘healthy eating’ plan.  She smiled evilly to herself, feeling like a child that stole a cookie from the cookie jar before dinner as she took another big bite from the crusted pie, savoring it in her mouth.

She reached for a napkin to wipe the crumbs from the corner of her mouth when a glossy photo cardstock caught her eye.  Quickly wiping her mouth with her hand, she reached for the card, pushing aside the stack of utility bills that waited to be paid.  When she had it securely in her hand, her mouth dropped open before she recovered and let out a hearty laugh that echoed in her empty flat.

“Henry.” She giggled, her eyes taking in the professional photo.  His piercing blue eyes brought a permanent smile to her face, the small smirk that was gracing his lips making her heart skip a beat.  He held a glass up in a toast, fitting for the occasion.

She turned the card over, curious to know if there was any message waiting for her.  She barked out another laugh, his chicken scratch proving that he, indeed, sent her a postcard. Question was, who was the lucky bastard he talked into mailing it for him while he was away?

“Happy Gobble Gobble Day, love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)


	5. How She Tooks Steps Forward

Anna wished she could stop fidgeting as she sat in the empty waiting room, surrounded by the sounds of the soft rock music that was wafting through the air from over her head and the water fountain in the corner that was sure to be the cause of her need to use the loo in a few minutes.  She was nervous, not because she was inexperienced and didn’t have the slightest clue what to expect, but because this wasn’t the first time she was waiting in an office like this one.

The last time she was in this seat, although back in the States, it was because her family was enforcing her to seek assistance with coming to terms with grief.  She was against it at first, not wanting to admit she really did need the guidance, but after a few sessions, she was thankful for the push they gave her, knowing she wouldn’t have made it there without them.  And she couldn’t deny that speaking to someone for years helped her. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have moved out of that townhouse back in New York; she wouldn’t be where she was today, living in a city that gave her aspiration to be better.

This time, she was taking the first step on her own accord.  She was tired of sitting in that empty flat, watching the dreams of the little curly haired girl that lived inside her memories diminish without putting up a fight.

But the nagging voice in her mind that seemed to plague her thoughts every once in awhile was taunting her. _What good did all those years do if here she was once again, seeking help to cope with her demons? Was she really that hopeless, a lost cause? Was she wasting not only her time, but Harry’s and the referred professional’s?_

Tucking those musings inside a mental pocket somewhere far in the back of her mind, she redirected her focus on the morning, recalling the conversation she had with Maggie just a little over an hour ago.

—-

_“So, are we going to talk about your date with Harry?” Maggie asked, tapping the increase speed on her treadmill controller._

_Anna puffed out a breath, trying to keep up with Maggie as she fought against the ache in her calves.  ”It wasn’t a date.  We’re friends.  Friends have dinner.”_

_Maggie snorted.  ”To a fancy restaurant? Ha! It was a date, Anna.”_

_“It wasn’t!” She insisted, discreetly eyeing her friend so she could decrease her speed by a level.  If it was up to her, she would’ve been done jogging fifteen minutes ago.  But Maggie had threatened to hire a trainer if Anna made any complaints about the workout regime she created, Jake’s wedding just a few weeks away._

_“Okay, what if I told you that I know for a fact it was a date?”_

_That piqued her interest, her ears perking up.  ”What are you talking about?”_

_“Nice try, small fry.” Maggie carefully reached over and pressed the increase speed button on Anna’s controller, Anna inwardly groaning at being caught.  ”I may have given him a few tips on how to woo you back before he took off.”_

_She knew it.  She knew exactly what he was doing when he helped her get in his car after dinner that night.  Mentally patting herself on the back for her excellent investigating skills, she turned to the brunette that waited for her reply.  ”I’m sorry? Woo me back? Are we eighty?” She joked, her eyes sliding shut as the ache in her legs escalated to a painful burn._

_“I think you should know by now that when Harry wants something, or in this case_ someone _, he will do anything in his power to get it.  He’s determined, and in a case like this, he won’t stop until he gets it.. or_ you _.”_

_“Now I’m a case?” Anna asked, trying to bring some humor into an awkward conversation._

_“A basket case, if you ask me.”_

_“Hey!” Anna faltered, reaching for the handles to steady her balance.  Maggie laughed, setting her treadmill to a slow walking pace before she reached over and did the same to her friend’s.  Anna fought for breath, grateful for the slow speed as she inhaled tremendous amounts of air through her nose before quickly blowing out from her mouth.  “I am.. not.. a basket.. case.“_

_“Okay, Alison.  Don’t kill yourself over a little run.”_

_Anna narrowed her eyes.  ”Did you just make a Breakfast Club reference?”_

_Maggie giggled, twisting off the cap of a bottle of water that was in the cup holder and chugging down half of its contents, making Anna’s dry mouth envious before she did the same.  ”Okay, but seriously.. Harry’s been gone for, what, a week and a half? There’s still a few more weeks to go. Have you thought further…?”_

_“Well, of course I have,” Anna said.  “I love Harry.  I think this time apart will only benefit us.  I’m trying, you know.  After that night at dinner, we.. got a little carried away.“_

_“What?! Oh my god, did you fornicate?”_

_“Fornicate?” Anna threw her head back and belted out a boisterous laugh.  “No, we didn’t_ fornicate _.  And you call me a basket case.”_

_Maggie winked, laughing at herself.  ”So.. what happened then?”_

_“We were saying goodbye at my door and.. I went to hug him and kissed him by mistake,” she confessed._

_“By mistake? Ha! Yeah, sure.”_

_“Shut up, it was!  Anyway, I got so embarrassed and pulled away.. but then.. well, we kind of made out.”_

_“Oh, my god.  Would you two just fuck each other already? You’re driving the rest of us mad,”_

_Maggie rolled her eyes as she stepped off the machine and wrapped a pink towel around her shoulders, wiping off the beads of perspiration that were on her skin._

_Anna stopped the machine from running, relief consuming her as the constant humming noise she had been hearing for the past forty-five minutes came to an end.  ”I gave him a ‘maybe’,” she said, easing her trembling legs onto solid ground before reaching for her own towel._

_“‘Maybe’?” Maggie quoted, quirking a brow in confusion.  “Meaning what exactly?”_

_“Maybe when he gets back, after some time alone, I’ll be able to give him what he wants.”_

—-

“Miss Caro,” an older man dressed in a dark gray suit appeared a few feet away from her, slightly smiling in greeting as she jumped in surprise.  He made the calculated steps towards her as she slowly stood up, both reaching out to shake hands respectively.  “I’m Dr. Caffrey.“

“Nice to meet you,” Anna politely said, her smile shaky with nerves.

“Likewise.  Shall we head into my office?” He gestured behind him.

“Yes, thank you.”

Anna followed him down a short hallway before stopping at the only open door.  He guided her in and she immediately noticed the same cream colored walls with the dark interior design that matched the waiting room she had spent fifteen minutes in.

“Please, have a seat and we can begin.” She sat down in a more comfortable chair than the one she had previously been in, squirming before resting her folded hands on her lap. Dr. Caffrey took the seat across from her and expertly slid his glasses into place with one hand before reaching for a notepad and pen that were on the side table.  “Okay, Miss Caro,“ he began, adjusting his posture as he brought a foot to rest on his knee, balancing the notepad.

“Anna, please,” Anna insisted, wringing her hands together.  A small smile formed on her lips as an image of Harry doing the same with his hands at his speeches flashed in her mind.  A sense of comfort flowed through her, and she instantly felt more at ease with what she was trying to accomplish here.  She was doing this for them.

“Anna,” the older man nodded, jotting something she couldn’t see on his notepad before peeking up at her over his lenses.  “I’m sure it’s a little uncomfortable being in that seat, having to discuss some personal thoughts to a complete stranger.  I’d like to start off with introducing myself, giving you a chance to get to know me a bit before we discuss matters at hand, if you don’t mind.“

“No, no.. not at all.”

She listened intently, laughing lightly at some of the jokes he made.  He was a newly grandfather, his only daughter blessing him and his wife of 31 years with a grandson.  He made a comment about forgetting how much lungs a small weight had, it been years since he experienced a colicky baby himself.

What Anna liked was the fact that he never once brought up all the certificates and diplomas that hung on the far end wall.  He never mentioned the grueling school and courses he had to take to be rewarded a practice of his own.  He spoke of his personal life with his family, Anna making the assumption it was because they mattered most to him, above everything else he had achieved.

“I’m sure you are fully aware that everything that is said within these walls is confidential.  I’m not here to run my mouth to the media, or to judge you for that matter. I’m here to simply lend you an ear and to maybe offer up some guidance on whatever it is you need to talk about.” Dr Caffrey paused, waiting for the affirmative nod before continuing.  “Now, why don’t you start off with telling me a little about yourself.”

“Well, I guess you could say I’m a military rat.  My dad is a retired US Marine and we did a lot of traveling during my childhood years.”

“That must’ve been difficult,” he nodded in understanding.

“It was, yeah.  But that’s my normal, I don’t really know much of anything else.  My mom always made sure we were okay growing up.  She had a tendency of turning every military based house into a warm, loving home.  I guess you could say because of that, we have always been a close knit family.”

“You have siblings?”

“Yep, I’m the only girl out of four older brothers.”

Dr. Caffrey laughed.  ”Oh wow!”

“Yeah,” she chuckled.  “I get that reaction often.“

“Did all the interested lads scurry away in fear of them?”

Anna shrugged, tugging her curls behind her ear.  ”Not really.. I mean, I guess so.  But I never really had many suitors knocking on my door.” She pressed her lips together when she saw him quickly write something down.  ”Um.. I lost my twin brother about nine years ago.”

He raised sympathetic eyes to meet hers.  ”I’m very sorry to hear that.”

“Thank you,” she said, the immediate response slipping past her lips with practice.  The words almost felt empty with the amount of times she had voiced them, but each time she had heard the condolence, it felt like a knife twisting in her gut.  “He was killed while serving in Iraq.“

“I can imagine how devastating that was for you and your family.”

Anna took a deep breath, avoiding eye contact.  ”Yeah, it was.. and still is.” She kept her focus above his head, looking past the soft strokes of warm colors in the framed painting on the wall as she spoke in a faraway voice, her mind in a different time.  ”My family was settled in New York at the time it happened, and I put myself in seclusion for awhile.  I buried myself in my schoolwork and focused on getting my nursing certification.  I barely went out.. I barely ate.. I barely slept.  My brother, Finn, said I was a walking zombie when they gathered together in some type of intervention to get help.”

“And did you?”

She nodded.  ”I did.  I was in therapy for a few years.. and it seemed to work.  I mean, nothing lessens the pain of losing someone so close to you.  I think about Ben every single day.  But the nightmares of how he passed stopped and I broke out of my shell enough to make the decision of moving to London.  I got a great opportunity at Great Ormond and I know I wouldn’t have taken it if I didn’t spend all that time, building confidence in myself when it came to nursing.”

“And how long have you been living in London?”

“Over four years now.  Going on five years in a few months.”

“And do you see this being a permanent residence?”

Anna smiled, turning her attention back on his serious gaze that held much interest in what she was saying.  ”Yeah, I really do.”

Dr. Caffrey smiled gently.  ”That’s quite brave, packing up and moving to a different country after being so close with your family.  It takes courage to do something like that.” He leaned forward, shifting to a more comfortable position before continuing.  ”What would you like to accomplish in these sessions, Anna?”

Anna knew the question was coming, having been asked that many years ago.  She had spent hours mulling it over after making the appointment days ago, searching for the right answer.  She had been hesitant at first, being the girlfriend-currently ex-of a well known public figure.  But she was in the medical field, and confidentiality was something every medical professional took seriously.

“I don’t want to fear happiness,” she said, simply.  “I want.. I want to live without the constant worry that nothing lasts forever.”

“Would you like to elaborate on that?”

“Well,” she chuckled.  “I met someone a few months ago and we fell into a pretty serious relationship right off the bat.  We probably should have taken things slower than we did.. especially since he’s the first guy I ever fell for.. but it’s brought up some past issues that I thought were under control.” Anna licked her dry lips, sighing.  “He wants everything there is.  Kids, marriage, happily ever after.“

“And is that what you want?”

Anna nodded.  ”I do.  But.. it’s really not that simple.”

“Why is that?” Dr. Caffrey asked, tilting his head to the side.

The remaining hour was spent with Anna going into further detail, discussing the nightmares that haunted her during the precious resting hours as Dr. Caffrey scribbled notes every so often.  She was curious to know exactly what he was writing every time she saw him gaze down at the yellow pad of paper, before he would look at her over his glasses as she continued to speak.

Later on, after scheduling a few more appointments in advance, she walked out of the office and into the chilly December air.  She stood there, her coat bundled up tightly and gloves keeping the cold away from her hands, and inhaled the fresh scent of morning with her head upturned towards the sky.  Her long lashes rested gently on her rosy cheeks, the rays of the sun that peeked through the clouds making her smile.

She wasn’t fixed just yet; there was a long road ahead of her, for sure.  But she felt hopeful as she took the first step she needed to take to move forward with her life.. her life with Harry.

Feeling enlightened, she pulled out her mobile and took Dr. Caffrey’s advice of initiating company with others that entertained her to avoid spending too much time alone in her flat.

————

“What about this one?” Maggie asked, holding up a purple scrub set with pink hearts and ‘Nurse Sweetheart’ stitched to the top.  “This is cute.“

Anna looked up from the rack of various colored scrub pants she was going through, coming to realize she had almost every single one in her closet.  ”I have that one already.”

“Goddamn, girl,” the tall brunette said, putting it back on the rack and continuing the search.  “You literally have everything in here.“

“Maybe not everything.. but most, yeah,” Anna laughed.  “I’m a sucker for scrubs, I can’t help it.  The little birds adore it.  It’s the sweetest thing seeing their faces light up at something so small as Nurse Anna wearing Princess Jasmine pajamas.“

“Pyjamas?” Maggie grinned.

“Yeah, they call it that,” Anna laughed.

Maggie’s brown eyes softened as she placed a hand against her heart.  “Aw, that’s really precious.”

“I know,” she replied, brightly smiling as she thought of the kids she cared for.

Maggie caught the look on her friend’s face, immediately thinking of how compatible her two friends were.  Harry’s features held the same soft and innocent expression Anna had after he spent time with kids.  ”You know, I remember when Harry told me he found his future wife.”

“What?” Anna blushed.  “He said that?”

“Yep, he sure did.”

Anna stared at Maggie, waiting for her to reveal she was only lying to get her worked up over nothing.  “He didn’t,” she challenged.

“Aca-scuse me? Are you calling me a liar, you bitch?”

Anna cocked her head to the side, quirking a brow.  “Aca-scuse you.. did you just call me a bitch?”

Maggie stuck her tongue out in response in a childlike manner.  “You know what they say.. if the shoe fits..”

Anna giggled.  “Takes one to know one,” she retorted, wrinkling her nose as she pulled a face, making Maggie chortle.

“Okay, seriously though.. The bugger called me up in the middle of the night to say he met the future Mrs. Wales.”

“When was that?”

“I’m not sure,” Maggie said, returning to the shelf she was looking through.  “He was babbling at an ungodly hour about some animal song by Savage Garden.  Something about a nurse dancing with patients.”

Anna’s heart almost burst out of her chest at the memory of Harry showing up unannounced at the hospital during one of her shifts, catching her having playtime with the children before rest hours began.

That was the night before she admitted to herself that she was in love with him.

“He told you that?” She asked in a low whisper, tears springing to her eyes.  “Oh my god.”

“Oh yeah, it was cute to see him quite smitten.  If I was looking at him, I’m sure I’d be able to see his hearts for eyes and the lovestruck grin on his face.” Maggie laughed when she saw the look of surprise on her friend’s face.  “Why do you look so shocked by this? You know how strong Harry’s feelings are for you.“

“I’m.. wow, speechless..” Anna breathed, chewing her lower lip out of habit.  “I mean, I know how much Harry loves me, I don’t doubt it for a second.  But I never knew he talked to everyone about me like that.“

“Psh, once we nagged him into telling us he had a girlfriend, we couldn’t get him to shut the hell up.   _Anna, this.. Anna, that.. Oh, Anna likes this.. Anna says that.. Anna, Anna, Anna_..” Anna playfully shoved her friend to the side, laughing at her impersonation of him.

“Stop,” she begged, catching a glimpse of her reflection through the glass doors to the store, the tint of pink on her cheeks deepening.  “You’re embarrassing me.“

“Why? It’s true.  I would think you’d find that sweet.”

“I do,” Anna started, wincing as she tugged the hair elastic free to get a better handle of the mess of curls she forgot to brush that morning.  “He is extremely sweet.  God, I miss that goofy ginger.“

A hopeful smile came over Maggie’s face, praying that meant Anna was coming to her senses and was insinuating she would be taking Harry back.  ”Have you thought more about what happens after he comes back in a couple weeks?”

“Well, I’m not entirely sure yet.”

“Anna,” Maggie sighed, starting to worry about Anna messing up a perfect match.  “Harry wants a family.  He wants a wife and a ton of kids,” she paused, trying to find the right words that would click something in her friend’s brain.  “He loves you but he’s not going to be hanging around forever, waiting for you.“

Anna stayed quiet, working over what Maggie was saying.  She knew all of that.  She knew of Harry’s passion for a family, it was one of the things she loved about him.  But the possibility of Harry giving up on her..it was something that had never crossed her mind, especially after the progress she was making with her sessions with Dr. Caffrey.

She had always thought her fears had to do with losing Harry tragically because of her experience with her twin brother.  But a few days ago during one of her therapy sessions, Dr. Caffrey voiced his expert opinion, revealing that Anna’s insecurities of being unworthy was the true issue at hand when it came to her relationship with Harry.  When he backed up his theory with several examples from her childhood and young adult years, Anna almost saw the light bulb switch on above her head.

It made sense.  She was teased relentlessly by her peers for her moppy hair and her quirky, clumsy character.  She was the shy girl that walked the halls, books held close to her chest, as she avoided all eye contact.  Nobody really tried hard enough to break through her shy exterior as she sat quietly with her brothers at lunch, their friends acting as if she wasn’t there.

Nobody really fought for her before.

Until Harry.  
But how long would it be before Harry tired of her? How long would it be until he realized that maybe she wasn’t good enough to love and stick around for?

“Oh,” she breathed, the pain in her chest paralyzingly her as she stopped looking through the sale rack.

“Listen,” Maggie began, feeling responsible for the pained look in the pair of amber eyes that were ignoring her.  “I get why you’re apprehensive about everything.  I mean, it can’t be easy trying to deal with everything in the past on top of having the paps snapping photos and seeing your face plastered on the mag-.“

“It’s not about the public,” she interrupted.

“I know it’s not…but you can’t deny that it doesn’t add to it.” When Anna didn’t say anything, Maggie placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.  “But if you really love him, give him a chance to prove to you that he can make you the happiest you’ve ever been.  Let him prove to you that he’s worth the risk.“

“And what if I’m not worth the risk?” She asked, startling herself for revealing such a private thought.

“Oh, honey, is that what’s worrying you?” Maggie asked, hugging her.  “Of course you’re worth it.. You are so much more than just ‘worth it’, Anna.  I know this and so does Harry.“ She backed away enough to give her a comforting smile.  “He wouldn’t have agreed to be friends if he wasn’t sure that you’re the one for him.  But there’s only so much back and forth a man can take before he gives up, no matter how hard that may be.”

Anna sighed.  ”I do want to be with him.  God, Mags, I really do,” she said, emotions taking over as she swallowed.  ”I’m trying, you know.  I’m…” She trailed, unsure about coming clean, afraid of the judgemental reaction she could get if she told Maggie about Dr. Caffrey.  She looked around, making sure they were out of earshot, taking a chance.  ”I’m actually seeing someone.”

“What?!” Maggie shouted in disgust, pulling away as if she had been burned.  “You’re _what_?!”

“Maggie!” Anna exclaimed, nervously covering her face from the onlookers.  “Oh god, people are looking.“

“Who gives a shit about the other people.  Anna! What do you mean you’re seeing someone? Harry’s all thinking you’re getting back together after you’ve had some time alo-”

“Wait,” Anna’s brows furrowed in confusion.  ” _What_?! No! I’m seeing a _therapist._ ”

Maggie froze for a few seconds, letting it sink in before she busted into hysterics, holding her sides.  ”Oh! Oh my god! Shit, I’m sorry! I thou- Oh, my god.”

Anna watched Maggie fight for breath in between her laughs, giggling herself at the poor choice of words that caused the scene to happen in the first place.

After they both sobered up, Maggie asked how the sessions were going, making Anna promise to always ask her for help with anything she needed, or even just to talk.  Anna felt awful for second guessing Maggie’s trust, especially after everything she had done for her in the past few weeks.

“You’ve actually been a big help already, Mags.  I really do appreciate the whole dragging me out, even when I protest.  I need someone to kick my ass every once in awhile.”

“Glad to help.” Maggie smiled sweetly at her, linking their arms as they made their way towards the next sale rack.  “I will kick your arse anytime, Caro.“

——

4:35pm.

Anna sighed heavily, tossing her mobile to the vacant side of the bed where Harry used to lay.  The rain was coming down hard, but she could only hear it since she had pulled the drapes together, wanting to be covered in complete darkness.  Her phone buzzed to life a few times, but she ignored it, not wanting to bring anyone else down the black hole she was slipping into.  She was shutting the world out today.

She was doing so well with her frequents visits with Dr. Caffrey as they came to a few revelations, and moved forward with how to overcome mental blocks with a new techniques.

Everything was progressing the way she had hoped.

Until she got a frantic call from her mother that morning, asking her if she had been in contact with Finn.  When she confirmed she hadn’t gotten a reply from her latest e-mail that was sent five days ago, Anna’s anxiety level shot right up at the sound of Lucille’s desperate sobs on the other line.

Lucille choked out her explanation for her breakdown, informing Anna how Finn had promised he would call her and it was now six days pass the expected date.

Anna tried to console Lucille, trying to remind her mother that the life of a Marine out in battle was unpredictable and hectic.  But Lucille had retorted with ‘and dangerous’, causing Anna’s breathing to become irregular as the possibilities ran through her mind, knowing that the traumatic memories of how they had gone through this uncertainty with another Caro son before made them more wary.

After forty minutes of trying to calm her mother’s panic and despair, they both hung up, still tense from all the negative thoughts that swam in her mind.  Her first thought was to call Dr. Caffrey to formulate a plan to keep her progress going in the right direction.  The last thing she wanted to do was take ten steps back after a few successful sessions.  Her second thought was to get out of the house, call up Lily or Julia to have a lunch date, or text Maggie to participate in mindless girl talk over a bottle of wine and a chick flick.

But the third thought had squashed the other sensible two.  Nobody wanted to be around her when she was in this state.  Nor did she want to bother them with her petty problems.

So she had crawled into bed and forced herself to sleep, only to become overwhelmed with familiar nightmares.

Anna sighed heavily, staring up at the ceiling, berating herself for allowing the damper mood to affect her new daily routine she had gotten accustomed to, barely spending any time at home anymore.

Her phone lit up beside her, vibrating to catch her attention as she glanced at the unknown caller on her caller id.  She sighed once again, contemplating turning over and burrowing under the safety of her blankets.  But her chest tightened, her stomach dipped, and something forced her to pick up her mobile to answer it.

“Hello?” She answered in a quiet voice.

“Peaches.”

Anna’s heart sped up, her broody features lighting up at the sound of a hoarse voice she had missed hearing since the last night she heard it.

“Harry?” She croaked out in disbelief.

“Hey,” he laughed lightly, not even trying to conceal the giddiness he felt at the sweet way his name fell from her lips.  “Miss me yet?“

Anna was on the verge of tears, happy and relieved to hear from him.  ”I really miss you,” she breathed, a broad smile spreading across her face.  ”Oh god, I really do.”

Harry’s own heart pounded in his chest, her confession spreading warmth through him, even though he had spent the entire day in freezing conditions.  ”I really miss you, too, love.”

“How are you? I read the reports and-”

“Keeping tabs on me, yeah?”

She giggled.  ”Gotta make sure you’re staying out of trouble.”

“Exactly what kind of trouble would I get into over here? Besides freezing my balls off.”

“Is that literal?”

“You know, at this point, I’m not too sure I can answer that.”

Anna laughed before she sobered up.  ”Seriously, though.  Are you okay? I’ve heard you’ve had to stop the race and there have been some serious conditions-“

“Yes, yes.. feeling a little under the weather as the rest of the lads and girls.  But pushing through.  We are all pushing through.  You know, these guys are just remarkable.  They’re missing limbs and eyesight and.. God, Anna.. you should see the bravery I’ve seen out here.  I’m just so incredibly proud to be apart of this.. to be on their team..I’ve never seen anything quite like this before.”

“God, I love you,” the words tumbled out of her mouth without meaning to.  She loved hearing him like this, so passionate about other people, so proud of the work they were accomplishing.  He was definitely something else; something special that she would be a fool to turn away.

Harry sat stunned on the other end, the air being knocked out of him at her breathy declaration.  ”I love you, baby,” he replied, his hope becoming stronger at the possibility of being back in her arms, in her bed, in her heart completely in a matter of a couple weeks.  ”Are you doing okay over there?”

“I’m fine.. I’m doing well,” Anna answered, the butterflies fluttering in her stomach at the familiar endearment he used.  He had been calling her love and a couple others lately, but he hadn’t used baby ever since she broke his heart.

She shook her head, trying to direct their conversation into something more lighthearted, vowing to have that needed discussion of their future when they were face to face and not over the phone while he was in stressed conditions.  ”You wouldn’t believe what I found the other day,” she giggled.  “You’re a little shit.”

Harry laughed, confused. “Excuse me?”

“I told you all about my braces experience and never once did you tell me you also had braces.”

Harry groaned in embarrassment. “Shit, where’d you hear that?”

“I was..uh, searching for news about you…?” She cringed, not wanting to give too much away.  “Ya know, to make sure you’re alright out there..“

“Mm,” he hummed, unconvinced.  “So a photo of me in my awkward years just happened to come up in a search about the expedition?“ He asked, fully aware what she had been up to.

“Shut up,” she clicked her tongue, regretting saying anything.

Harry chuckled.  ”I’m going to block your search engines from searching my name.”

“You can’t do that,” she snorted.

“Really? You don’t think I have the capability of doing something as simple as that?”

“You’re bluffing,” she smiled.

“Or am I?” He threatened, deepening his voice.

“ _Anyway_ ,” she stressed to change the subject.

His amused laughter was sweet music to her ears; the kind of melody that reached the depths of her soul, bringing sunshine to the darkest of days.

Anna couldn’t believe just several minutes ago how broken she had felt, how she wanted nothing but to forget the world existed, drowning in her own misery.  But hearing Harry’s voice, being the person that he decided to call while he was far away from home… it uplifted her spirits.

She reached for the postcard she had beside her bed for lonely nights when she longed to see his infamous smirk and breathed deeply, feeling happy at seeing the blue eyes she loved so much.  And in that moment, she knew instantly that Harry’s homecoming would also be an official start to a new Harry and Anna in a committed relationship, nothing to come in between them.

He was her biggest step forward.

“I can hear you thinking all the way over here.  What’s up?”

“Nothing,” she lied, not wanting to give him any reason to lose focus.  “It’s just…good to hear your voice.“

“Same here, love,” he said, his smile heard through his voice.  “Tell me, what have I missed? What are you up to?“

“Well,” she laughed, rolling her eyes.  “Maggie is a religious gym goer apparently and she’s dragged me into her cult, kicking and screaming.  So basically, I’m a jogger now.“

“Bullshit!” Harry exclaimed, cackling.

“Oh, I’m totally serious.  The first session, I thought I’d never be able to get out of bed.  Muscles I had no idea existed were sore.”

“Aren’t you supposed to know the human anatomy?”

“Okay, muscles are more for Opathy specialists and fitness trainers.  I’m a peds nurse, Wales.”

“Are you saying kids don’t have muscles?” He joked.

Anna laughed, shaking her head.  ”You’re such a goof.”

They talked for ten more minutes, sharing laughs and teasing each other relentlessly as they always did, Anna calling him cheesy for the postcard but admitting it made her entire day.  When they hung up, Anna’s chest felt less heavy, and she easily swung her legs around the side of the bed and stood up, determined to do something even in the pouring rain.

She thought back to the previous night, when Lily invited her to her eldest son’s art show he was having that evening.  She had seen a few of his professional photographs, his work more focused on capturing the hidden beauty of London and it’s surrounding cities before converting the photos into black and white.

Opening up her closet door, she searched for the appropriate attire, her eyes landing on a simple black dress that went along with the winter coat that went down to her knees.  She smiled, taking a deep calming breath, and then removed the dress and coat from the hangers.

Later that evening, after splurging on three pieces—one that was a Christmas gift for a certain ginger—she made her way over to her laptop, firing it up and pulling up her e-mail account.  Her good mood only increased at what she found waiting for her in her inbox.

An e-mail from Finn.

——-

In the following weeks, Anna spent her time between the hospital and Christmas shopping, having to spend extra cash on faster shipping if she wanted everything to get back to her family on time.  Her mother always seemed to get everyone else on board with purchasing Anna’s gifts on Black Friday to make sure they made it to her on time, the packages that were being stored in a corner of her living room being evidence of that.  And as much as Annalisa took after her mother’s nature, she got her dad’s procrastination when it came to shopping for presents, waiting until it was crunch time.

It was just two days until Christmas, and her tree sat bare in the corner near the presents, waiting to be trimmed during the annual Caro caroling through skype.  She had switched her days off that week, agreeing to work the two days following Christmas Day in exchange of having the two days before Christmas Eve off.

On Sunday, she was enjoying a holiday gathering at Tom’s flat in Chelsea, participating in the Secret Santa exchange (she got Beth a complete spa kit that included a free day of pampering), and with much pleading from the small group, she played a few Christmas songs at the piano.  They giggled and laughed loudly when Skip joined her in a hilariously dramatic rendition of ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’.  Anna was enjoying herself, grateful for how much they included her and never made her feel like her invitation only came because of her involvement with their best mate.

After many laughs and cocktails, they were gathered in the parlor while they waited for Guy to finish setting up the table for a friendly card game to wind down the evening.

“So, Anna.” Jake leaned his shoulder against the wall and crossed his feet, twirling the beer bottle he held by the rim.

Anna lifted a brow. “So, Jake.”

A sly grin formed on his lips.  ”You and Harry are no more.”

Her cheeks turned pink as she shifted nervously, growing uncomfortable at his dark stare.  ”We are friends.”

“Hm,” he hummed, his eyes lowering to sweep over her form, his brows lifted as he took in her long sleeved red dress that flowed down to just below her knees.  “Does that mean you’re up for grabs?“

Anna choked on the air she had inhaled through her nose, coughing into her closed fist.  ”Um, excuse me?”

Jake moved forward, his unsteady feet holding his weight.  ”Come on, you can’t deny..” he paused, fingering a loose curl that framed her heated face before he continued in a lowered tone, “the unspoken attraction between us.”

“I-I, uh, don’t know what you’re, uh, talking about,” she stammered, her breathing becoming erratic, panic written across her delicate features.

“Why don’t you completely ditch the ginger and I’ll ditch the blonde and we can finally fuck each other like we’ve both been dreaming about.” Anna caught something in his eyes as his serious expression faltered slightly.  With narrowed eyes, she studied him further and Jake couldn’t take the way she was unnerving him with her hypnotic eyes.  He busted out into laughter, the gang joining in from behind her.  “She fucking bought it!“

Anna turned in shock to take in the group holding their sides as they laughed hysterically.  ”You assholes!”

“You owe me twenty, Skip! Pay up, wanker.” Jake called out.

She whipped around and smacked him repeatedly.  ”I can’t stand you!” Then she looked back at them, pointing in their direction.  ”All of you!”

“Oh god, Anna,” Maggie said.  “The look on your face was priceless!“

“Ugh,” Anna replied.  “Harry will have all of your heads for this!“

“Oh,” Beth started, grinning knowingly.  “And why would this bother him, hm? You are ‘just friends’ after all, am I right?“

“Shut up,” Anna grumbled.

“Touchy subject, yeah?” Liv teased.

Anna huffed, stalking into the other room when Guy announced the table was ready.  They laughed as they followed suit, taking their own seats and picking up the cards that were neatly dealt in front of them.

After a few rounds, Anna was losing miserably, blaming the amount of alcohol they served her for clouding her judgement.  ”Ugh, I’m in eighth place?!” She exclaimed when Guy called out the scores from the latest round of 500 Rummy.

“Last place,” Tom whispered apologetically from the side of his mouth, the table cackling with laughter at her glare.

“ _Eighth_ place,” she insisted, picking up her new hand of cards, groaning at the numbers she was dealt.

Ten minutes went by, and after worrying her bottom lip for longer than they liked, she placed a card messily on the table.

“Rummy!” Liv and Skip yelled out in unison, smacking the table down with their hands.

“Aw, fuck,” Anna muttered, looking at her hand and mentally calculating how many points she was up to.. a measly five points to add to her twenty in total for the game.

“I called it first!”

“Did not! I did, you git!”

The doorbell rang, and Anna was amazed that someone besides her heard it over the argument as their voices escalated and echoed throughout the room.  ”Chinese is here!” Tom said, getting up from his seat and making his way into the other room to get the door.

“Anna! Help me out here.. you heard it, I said it first, didn’t I?” Skip asked her with puppy eyes.

She looked between Skippy and Liv, her eyes slightly wide as they darted between the two expectant players, not sure what to do.  ”Um, what?” She coughed.

“I clearly said it first, didn’t I, Anna?” Liv asked, pursing her lips and silently pleading her with her bug eyed expression.

“I don’t.. you mean, who said.. Romney first?”

The rest of the table were about to correct her before something stopped them in their tracks.

“I believe the correct term is Rummy, love.” Anna heard behind her, her heart galloping in her chest at the new voice.  Everyone around her were grinning, watching her register who had corrected her.  Turning slowly in her seat to look behind her, she gasped before her breaths came out in small pants at the sight of the figure that stood smugly in the doorway.

“ _Harry_?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)


	6. How She Stayed

Time stood still, the clock stuck on the same hand as Annalisa stared at the man she had dreamt about for the past weeks.  Dreams that usually consisted of his smirking face, his goofy grin, and his tight hugs that she desperately missed.  During her waking hours, she found herself in a trance from time to time, envisioning what it would be like the first time she saw him again, what he would say to her.. what she would to say to him.

And now here he was, standing just a few feet away from her, dressed casually in sweatpants and an olive green coat, his signature fiery locks peeking from underneath the Boston cap he wore.  Her heart jumped in her throat when the distant memory of their flirty banter from months ago came to her, Harry fully aware it was her favorite hat of his.  She knew he wore it specifically for her, and she wondered if he had taken it with him as a reminder of her.

“ _Harry_?!”

“Hello, love.” Harry grinned, eyes fixated on her smiling face.  “Come here,” he gestured for her to go to him, and she eagerly obliged, almost skipping the short distance and jumping into his welcoming arms.

“You’re here,” she repeated in disbelief, certain she was living a dream.  “You’re really here.”

“I am,” he confirmed.  He easily lifted her up with his arms around her small frame, humming in delight at the feel of her body pressing warmly into his, her feet no longer touching the floor.  His exhausted eyes fluttered shut as he relished in having her back with him again, suffering through several long weeks without her gentle touch, without her kind smile.

He had spent far too many nights alone with his thoughts, his heart too heavy to allow the sleep he desperately sought after to come as the rest of his team members slumbered.

The long sleepless nights were spent quietly sketching on the blank sketchbook he brought along, drawing from memory the round of her cheeks that blushed whenever he told a crude joke, and her parted lips as she concentrated.  He perfected the almond shape of her hypnotic eyes, the tiny beauty mark that rested just below the right side of her lower lip, and the way the strands of her hair always seemed to escape from the elastic on the occasions she wore it up.  He could smell the intoxicating scent of it as it blew in the wind, hitting him right in the gut as the intense need to be with her controlled his every move.

But he didn’t have to rely on his memory any longer.  He didn’t have to draw the girl that captured his heart, that made him weak in the knees at the slightest sound of her voice, of her touch and shining eyes, because here she was.. back where she belonged.. _with him_.

No longer fighting the urge, he buried his nose in her hair, inhaling the fruity scent, the familiar tug in his lower stomach present.

“Please tell me you still have your two balls,” she mumbled into his ear.

Harry’s eyes popped open, taking seconds longer than necessary to register her words before he shook them both with the intensity of his laughter.  Anna grinned, not once letting up on her tight hold of him, never wanting to let go of him ever again.  She giggled at her own joke when he squeezed her, Harry grateful for the humor as it reminded him of home and how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life laughing with her.

“Still there,” he managed to get out.

“That’s a relief.”

“I made sure of it just for you,” he joked, making Anna giggle then sigh in content from being wrapped up in his strong arms, his tight warm hugs being the best she had ever experienced, something that she could no longer go without.

Harry glanced up and was startled at the forgotten audience, catching watery smiles from the girls and the suggestive grins from the guys.  Setting her feet back on solid ground, Harry patted her back and reluctantly pulled away first.

But just as he was about to turn to his mates to greet them, he made the mistake of looking at her bright smile and her shining eyes as she gazed at him with her head upturned.  Without a moment’s hesitation, he brought his hands up to cup her round cheeks and dropped a lingering kiss on her forehead, Anna’s own delicate hands covering his, the uncertainty of their relationship status forgotten for the time being.

“Missed you,” he said, his words muffled against her soft skin that creased in response to the prickles from his overgrown beard.

“I missed you,” Anna whispered back.

Harry sighed happily before pressing his lips to her skin once more, prolonging the moment for as long as his mates allowed.  It wasn’t long before they pulled away and Harry nodded his greeting to them, returning their giddy smiles.  “Hey,” he gave a short wave.  “What’s up?”

They all raised from their seats and went over to him, offering him welcome home’s and congratulations as they took turns hugging him.  “How are you feeling?” Maggie frowned, taking in his thinner form.

“Tired,” he answered, laughing lightly.

“You look like utter shit,” Skip teased, getting another chuckle from his longtime friend.

“I feel like it, to be honest.”

“It’s good to have you back, mate,” Tom said, patting him on the back.

“Home sweet home,” Harry sang, sighing in serene as he took in the familiar faces.  It was most certainly good to be back, being in the company of those who mattered most to him, who knew him better than he knew himself at times.  It was difficult to be gone for that long, especially since it was just about a year ago he had returned from Afghanistan, and he had spent countless nights reassuring them he was fine, physically and emotionally undamaged from the time spent out in a war zone.

His attention went back to Anna who stayed close to him, finding her staring at him with a wide smile that seemed to be permanent.  An equally big smile spread across his face, the sight of her unconcealed excitement to see him making the thump in his chest stronger.  He reached for her, pulling her into his side and dropped another gentle kiss on her temple and Anna cuddled into him, an arm wrapped securely around his waist.

“What are you doing here?” Jake asked.

Harry quirked a brow.  “Great to see you too, bitch.”

Jake rolled his eyes.  “You’re always so fucking sensitive.  I merely meant we weren’t expecting to see you until after Christmas.”

Harry shrugged.  “Change of plans.  I wanted to surprise your arses.  I’m heading back home to pack in a bit and then I’m off to meet up with the fam in the morning.”

“Are you just getting in now?” Anna asked, concealing the pang of disappointment of not having much time with him before having to be apart for another few days.  She was grateful for the surprise, she absolutely was.  They had lasted days upon days, weeks upon weeks, without being in close quarters.  But now that she had a taste of being here… with him… she wasn’t sure how she was going to make it until after Christmas.

“I made a pit stop at home to drop my shit off.  I sent a warning text to Tom about my arrival..” His eyes softened as he looked at her.  “I wanted to make sure you were here so I could see you.”

Anna’s heart melted, her eyes welling up.  Even after suffering horrendous weather storms, being in freezing conditions for a month, then going through the tiresome long travels to get back home, he still made a point to come here..to see her.

“What?!” Beth cried, swatting Tom’s arm.  “You _knew_?”

Tom shrugged in reply with a smug grin.  “I couldn’t ruin the surprise, love.”

“Uh,” Liv interrupted.  “You knew about the holiday party and you came here dressed like that?” She asked, gesturing towards his attire.

“Leave it to you to be overdressed for a schmancy party,” Maggie said, squealing in delight to herself from witnessing the sweet dynamic of Harry and Annalisa.

“What?” Harry asked, looking down at his clothes.  “This old thing?”

“Those sweats definitely bring out your eyes,” Skip said, batting his lashes at Harry.

“Careful.. I think he’s already off the market, Skip,” Beth said, winking at the couple that were connected at the hip.  Anna’s eyes widened in shock, Harry coughing out in awkwardness.  He pulled back from her touch but still kept her close enough to feel her body heat.

“Okay, so..” Harry fumbled for a distraction.  His eyes fell on the table where cards had been tossed aside from his unexpected arrival.  “What do we have here?” He asked, taking Anna’s hand in his own and walking over to the table.  Peeking down at the scorecard, Anna’s grip on his hand tightened when he guffawed.

“Yes, I know..I’m in eighth place.”

“Oh, darling,” Harry said, his tone dripping with humor.  “I believe that’s-”

“ _Last_ place!” Tom finished for him.  “Baha,” he laughed evilly at the glare he got from her in return.

“Your girl is poorly losing..” Skip commented.

 _His girl_.

Harry’s breath hitched in his throat at the sound of that.  He still wasn’t quite sure what was to come, trying not to get his hopes up from Anna’s unguarded affections, but he knew in his heart that she would forever be _his girl_ , and he would equally always be _her man_.  No matter what happened.

Anna clicked her tongue in annoyance, her sore loser tendencies rising to the surface. “Ugh, damn you and this stupid game.  Harry, you have to help me beat their asses.”

“Ha! We’ve got a long way to go before we could possibly catch up, love.”

“Jerk!” She smacked his arm in reply as he snickered.  “Come on,” she whined, doing her best puppy eyes.  “Please?”

“That’s cheating!” Jake protested.

“It’s not cheating! He’s practically taking my place.” Anna came back in reply.

“Bullshit! That’s not the same thing.”

“Sure it is! Shush!” She waved him off before turning back to Harry.  “Well…”

Harry pursed his lips in thought before playfully rolling his eyes.  “Right, fine then.” She clapped her hands in glee, Harry chuckling at her enthusiasm before pointing at her. “Bah bah bah, on one condition.”

“You have to suck his di-”

“Skip!”

“Ew!”

“You’re such a pig!”

Disapproving shouts bounced off the walls from the girls in the room while the guys laughed hysterically at Skippy’s half-joke.

She crossed her arms and gave him a look of disgust, scoffing.  “I swear all you think about is sex..”

Skip shrugged, nodding his head in affirmation.  “Perhaps..”

She shook her head is distaste, focusing on Harry again.  “Your condition?”

Harry cleared his throat.  “My condition is-”

“Having a limp di-” Maggie smacked her hand over Skippy’s mouth before he could finish.

Harry snorted.  “Nah, that would be you, Skip.  My condition is you have to help me pack for the week.”

“Ooooh…” They all sang before falling silent so they wouldn’t miss Anna’s reaction.

She was dumbfounded at first, clearly not expecting him to ask her to leave with him.  But as soon as a mischievous grin appeared on his face, she narrowed her eyes as she studied him.  “You’re up to something.”

“Perhaps..” He winked, causing the butterflies to flutter wildly in her lower stomach.  “What do you say? Do you want my help or not?”

This could end badly, Anna thought.  On one hand, she was desperate for some alone time with him, away from prying eyes and ears to enjoy his company before separating for the holiday.  But she knew once they were one on one, she wouldn’t be able to avoid the anticipated conversation she had promised they would have right before he left.

Was she ready for that?

She had thought she was, running through it in her mind countless times ever since coming to the decision of taking a chance.  She practiced what she would say, even voicing it aloud to hear how it sounded, as crazy as it made her.

She knew what she wanted.

So why was the anxiety increasingly building in her chest at the thought of leaping towards happiness?

“Annalisa?” Harry called her back to reality.  “Deal or no deal?”

She rubbed her lips together, tasting the fruity flavor of her lipgloss, her eyes darting between his frantically as she fought to keep her breaths even.

_But if you really love him, give him a chance to prove to you that he can make you the happiest you’ve ever been.  Let him prove to you that he’s worth the risk._

Maggie’s words resounded in her head, pushing her towards what she hoped was the right direction.

“Okay, deal.”

The moment the two words slipped through her lips, she knew she made the right decision.  Harry beamed at her, his eyes dancing as he tried to keep his cool in front of his friends and her.  He outstretched his hand to her and she immediately took it, following him to the seat she had previously occupied.  Without hesitation, she sat on his lap and ignored the looks from the company they were in, picking up her cards and leaning back comfortingly to give him access to the current hand she was dealt.

Harry swung his arms around her waist loosely and shifted forward to get a better look at her cards as the others took their seats again, resuming the game that was on a temporary hold.  “Hmm,” he hummed, his eyes sweeping the table at the cards that were messily placed in front of each of his friends.  He chuckled at the many missed opportunities Anna had to gain points, lifting up a tired hand to rearrange the cards she held.  “Whose turn is it?”

“Mine!” Liv exclaimed, doing a mental victory dance at the realization that Skip had forgotten their argument, discreetly picking up the card to add to her tallied points.  She concentrated for a few seconds, picking up a card from the deck and frowned when she had nothing, tossing a card to pass the turn to Harry and Anna.

Harry immediately plucked a few cards from Anna’s hand and slammed them down on the table, grinning cockily when he heard the groans from around the table when they saw the three kings and three aces.  “You cheaters!” Jake complained.

“Give her a break,” Harry said, reaching for a new card from the deck and picking out a random card to throw away.  “She’s in last place.”

“ _Eighth_ place!” Anna argued, huffing.  “Why do you guys keep saying that?!”

——

After a couple more rounds, Anna found herself moved up to sixth place with Harry’s help to much complaints and arguments from Beth and Maggie who fell behind.  They were still seated at the table, but the cards were neatly tucked inside a case, cartons of Chinese food and chopsticks now taking over the table.

Anna still sat on Harry’s lap comfortably, holding the container of beef and broccoli that they shared, their chopsticks battling out every few minutes for the pieces of meat, Harry pushing the broccoli towards her side.

She listened intently as Harry retold stories of what transpired over the past few weeks, praising the other teams and his fellow team members.  There was no denying the awe and pride he held for the wounded soldiers, repeatedly mentioning the strength that never faltered as they pushed through the grueling weather conditions.

“I was tent bound for about 36 hours, which fucking sucked majorly.  The others were still out there, wounded and all, and there I was, stuck in the fucking tent as they kept me monitored.” Harry sounded disappointed, embarrassed even as he shook his head.

“Wow, that’s intense,” Jake said, voicing what everyone else was thinking.  “We’re all proud of you, man.”

“Yeah,” Maggie spoke up.  “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.. I mean, you barely had enough time for training and the little time that you did train..”

“What you accomplished out there is truly amazing, Har,” Tom finished.

His mates all nodded in agreement, but the one person that hadn’t said anything was the one brain he wanted to pick.  Just the possibility of Anna being ashamed in him made the nerves bubble in his chest, his appetite diminishing.

“Who needs another refill?” Tom asked, taking note of the empty glasses around the table.

Harry nudged Anna who still hadn’t said a word since he retold the altitude sickness he had endured.  “You okay?”  She turned to give him a weak smile along with a small nod and the worry wrinkles on her forehead only confirmed that she was upset.  “What are you thinking?” he asked, low enough for their conversation to be for only their ears.

“You didn’t tell me you got that ill,” she said, quietly.  Rolling out the tension that was in his shoulders, he chuckled in relief.  He wasn’t a disappointment to her, far from it. “What?” She asked when she felt his stiff muscles relax.

“Nothing,” he shook her off.  “I told you I was a bit under the weather.”

“‘Under the weather’?” She quoted, sternly looking at him.  “That doesn’t even come close to what really was going on, Harry.”

“I was under the supervision of medical professionals that were trained for that type of situation.  I was fine, really.”

She snorted, unconvinced.  “You were fine? All of that did not sound like you were fine.”

“Hey,” he said, softly as he took the carton out of her hands and placed it on the table in front of them.  He gathered her in his arms, trying to find a way to comfort her.  “I’m _fine_.  I didn’t want to worry you any more than you already were.” Cocking his head to one side, he pulled a face to ease her mind, pursing his lips and wrinkling his nose.

Anna tried her damn hardest to keep a stony expression, but she felt it crack when he crossed his eyes, letting out a giggle.  “Are you upset with me?” Harry asked, poking her side.

“Maybe,” she teased, squirming away from him as he continued to tickle her.

She pressed her lips together, a blush creeping on her cheeks when she felt the familiar stir in his pants.  ”I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he hoarsely whispered against her shoulder, resting his slightly wind burned lips on her.

Anna leaned further back on him, his arms instinctively wrapping around her waist tighter as she turned her head to respond in a lowered voice.  ”I’d quit the poking then.” She shifted on his lap, a low moan escaping his mouth at the sweet friction it created.

“You’re about to feel a different kind of poke if you don’t stop moving like that.”

A smirk graced her features, challenging him as she reached up and rubbed the stubble on his face, sending tingles from her fingertips down to her toes.  Harry quirked a brow, accepting her challenge and brought a hand to caress the silky smooth skin of her exposed thighs, the hem of her dress riding up from her movements.

Anna was on the verge of panting, right there in front of their friends as she fought for control.  But being this close to him, the heat in between her thighs that became hotter and hotter from his hand on her flushed skin, was too much to bear to even care. Dropping her head to rest against his, they breathed in unison, Anna fingering the overgrown hair at the nape of his neck, her knuckles bumping the hat he still wore.

“Come home with me,” he whispered, tickling her lips with the soft breath.  A quiet gasp escaped her, and she was sure he could feel the pounding in her chest.

_Come home with me._

It resonated in her head, over and over as the ache grew stronger, her chest rising and falling at an abnormal rate.  “Annalisa..” The soft moan fell from his lips when her chest brushed against his.

“Okay,” came her breathy reply, tugging the hairs that were tangled in her fingers. “Okay.”

Feverish heat passed between the two lovers, excitement coursing through them for what was ahead as the night progressed.  Anna tilted her head ever so slightly, unable to resist the urge to feel his mouth on hers.  The bristles of his beard scratched her sensitive skin, but just as their lips brushed together, a crashing noise followed by howls of laughter tore them apart, startling them back to reality of not being alone.

But they were.

They turned towards the empty table; unbeknownst to them, their friends had moved into the other room shortly after they began to interact with each other privately, allowing them their privacy.

“Looks like we’ve been abandoned,” Harry huskily said, clearing his throat.

“I don’t know if I should be offended or grateful.”

Reaching the shell of her ear, Harry nipped the lobe and smiled confidently at her low groan.  “Definitely grateful,” he said.

—————

The ride to Kensington was filled with small innocent touches and flirty banter, Harry and Annalisa easily falling back into old habits.  Harry teased her poor choice of heels when she slipped them off her feet for some relief, Anna poking fun at his giant frame creating kinks in her neck from looking up at him.  But there were also sweet quiet moments where she lay her head back on the seat and tiredly gazed at him, her fingers playing with his beard.

“I like this on you,” Anna confessed.

“Do you?” He asked, eyebrows raised as he let her hand rub across the itchy hairs.

“Mhm..”

“I’ll try to leave it for as long as I can.”

When they pulled up to his apartment, Anna reached for the shoes that she had named the toe crushers and groaned.  “I can’t put these back on.”

“Don’t.  I’ll carry you in.”

She quirked a brow.  “Last time I let you carry me, you dropped me in the freezing water.”

Harry grinned evilly, gathering her shoes in one hand.  “I promise I won’t drop you this time.”

“Mm, right.. I haven’t heard that one before.”

He laughed while opening his door, slipping out first and turning his back towards her.  “Come on, you whiny brat.  Hop on.”

She grumbled while struggling to keep her dress from exposing too much of her as she clung to his back, and then held her breath while he carried her to the door.

Once they were inside, he flipped the switch to illuminate the foyer and set her back on her feet.  He walked further inside and flung her shoes along with his hat to the corner. When he turned to her, Anna was quietly laying her coat neatly on the side table.  He could feel the awkwardness start to settle between them.

Harry shifted his weight from foot to foot, wringing his hands together out of nervous habit.  “Would you like anything to drink? I’m not well stocked just yet but I should have some water or wine somewhere..”

“No, thank you,” she politely declined, facing him.

Seeing Harry so nervous actually eased her own nerves, relieved that she wasn’t the only one that noticed the shift in the air between them.  The whole way there she had pushed aside of how they would start the discussion, how she would bring up the fact she was ready to be his again, Harry making it easy to find distractions.

But now there was no more stalling.

“So, I guess we shou-”

“Would you like your Christmas present?” Harry interrupted quickly, startling the both of them as he let his own fear of rejection take over.

“Christmas present?” Anna questioned.  “You got me a Christmas present?”

“Of course, I did.  You didn’t think I’d go to the South Pole and come back empty handed, did you?”

“Well… I wasn’t sure if we were exchanging gifts or not..”

“No, no,” he started.  “I don’t want anything in return.  I promised Georgie I would bring him back something so I was doing some last minute shopping at Cape Town yesterday and… well, I saw a couple things while browsing that made me think of you..”

Anna smiled at the pink shade that was creeping onto his cheeks.  “Harry, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I wanted to..” He said.  “Come on, I haven’t unpacked a thing so they’re still in the luggage.”

He guided her into the living area where she giggled at the disarray of his suitcase and shopping bags.  She sat on the soft cushion of the sofa as he dropped to his knees and rummaged around for the two wrapped items he was anxious to give her.  “Here we go,” he said, sitting back on his heels as he sheepishly handed her what she sat patiently for.  She looked up impressively at him, turning the two neatly wrapped boxes in her hands, testing out the lightweight.

“Wow.. how much did you pay for the professional wrapping?”

“What would you say I did it all on my own?”

“I would call bullshit.”

Harry lay a hand over his chest.  “That hurts, Annalisa.” She laughed in reply, her eyes shifting back to the boxes.  “Go ahead and open it.”

Taking a deep calming breath, she began unwrapping the first short square box, Harry watching her closely.  Pushing the wrapping aside, she carefully opened up the white cardboard box and pulled out an ornament in the shape of an angel that was decorated with musical notes.  “Oh wow, this is so cute!”

Harry recalled stopping dead in his tracks when he came across the ornament in the gift shop, her angelic voice filling his ears.  It was the perfect gift for her.  “I couldn’t resist when I saw it.  It’s not much but-”

“It’s perfect,” she said.  “I can’t wait to hang it on the tree… Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he smiled.  “Now onto box number two.”

She carefully unwrapped the long rectangular box before pulling out a string mobile of blue wooden birds.  “Aw, Harry,” she gushed, studying the piece as tears sprang to her eyes.

“Technically, it’s for a nursery but.. I figured you could hang it inside your locker at the hospital.  You know, if you ever have a tough day at work and it’s hard to keep going, that could be your reminder of why you’re there.. to keep your blue birds chirping.” Anna sniffled, overcome with emotion at how thoughtful he was, knowing exactly how to get her.  ”Do you like it?”

Her attention lifted to him, a wide smile spreading across her lips.  ”I love it.  It’s beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful,” he complimented.  A lone tear slipped from the corner of her eye, rolling down her cheek before Harry captured it with his thumb.  “You’re crying,“ he stated, his head cocked to the side.

Anna blinked back the remaining tears and chuckled at how foolish she looked.  “I love you,” she simply stated, lifting a shoulder up in a slight shrug.  ”And I feel like an asshole for making you wait until after Christmas for your present.”

Harry let out a light laugh at her twist of mixing sweet with humor.  ”Seeing you was the only thing I wanted for Christmas this year.” He leaned forward, tugging a loose strand behind her ear that had fallen in her face.  ”And I love you, too.” His gravelly whisper sent tingles down her spine, igniting a spark in her.

In that moment, all the insecurities and doubts of the past vanished.  She wasn’t sure if it was the distance or the heartfelt gift he had just given her, but she didn’t want to waste any more time, needing to let him know she was all in.

But the speech and the words she had recited to herself over and over didn’t seem enough.  He deserved more than just words from her, especially after all she gave him in the past were empty promises.  No, Harry deserved to feel the deep love and admiration she had for him.. and only him.

Harry’s throat became dry when her soft hand grasped his, a glint of something he couldn’t point his finger on shone in her eyes.  Anna gave him a small smile before silently lifting herself up on her feet, helping Harry do the same, and pulled him with her, walking in the direction of the bedroom.  His heartbeat quickened as he shuffled his feet after her, his eyes boring into the back of her head, her dark curls bouncing in step.

He gave a slight tug on her hand, bringing her around to face him when they reached the closed door, her free hand paused on the knob behind her.

“Anna,” her name sounded so sweet falling from his lips, but she caught the confusion in his voice and the crease of his forehead was further evidence he had no idea what to expect.  “What are-“

“Sh,” she said softly, gently laying her fingertips over his lips, wetness pooling between her thighs at the prickle of his scruff.  “You’re getting one of your Christmas gifts early.“ Feeling behind her, she turned the knob and pushed the door open, never tearing her gaze from his as the creak disrupted the quiet.  Reaching up on her tiptoes, her hands curled around his shoulders as she pressed her lips lightly to kiss his before pulling back, not allowing him the time to respond.  “I love you so much..” She breathed.

Harry stood there, paralyzed.  Anna ran her hands over his shoulders, around to his chest and slowly peeled off his jacket, letting it fall to the floor.  “You own my entire heart..” His shirt was the next to be unbuttoned and removed, followed by his undershirt.  “You are always there for me, no questions asked.. Even after I..” She paused to swallow back the emotions, placing soft kisses all over his exposed chest.  “Even after I hurt you, you were still there.. loving me.. and taking care of me..”

“Annali-”

She shook her head, her curls tickling his stomach.  “I don’t want to hurt you anymore, Harry..” Her eyes lifted to his while her hands pushed his sweatpants down to meet the rest of his clothes.  “I just want to love you.. and take care of you, too.”

Her lips crashed to his, this time kissing him long enough for him to respond, Harry’s mouth sliding over hers repeatedly.  They both moaned as they moved backwards into the room, blindly finding their way to the bed.  Harry slowly unzipped her dress, gathering the fabric tightly in his grasp before letting it pool around her feet.  They climbed onto his bed, their mouths fused together, Anna pushing him on his back and climbing on top of him.

Their busy hands caressed heated skin, touching any part they could grab hold of, wanting to feel every inch of each other.  They tore their mouths apart, taking hefty gulps of air to fill their depleted lungs.

“Annalisa,” Harry panted against her face.  “Are you say-”

“I’m saying I want to make love to the only man I’ll ever love..” Anna interjected, her eyes locked on his, Harry’s heart speeding up at her words.  “I want to make love to the man that I want to marry.. who will father my children one day..”

“Oh, baby,” he groaned, about to roll them over to change positions, desperate to be inside of her as his cock hardened.

“No,” Anna protested, pushing him firmly back down on the mattress and bringing her mouth to his ear.  “ _I_ want to make love to _you_..”  He growled when she dipped her tongue inside, the sensation shooting right down to his erection that was growing with every word that fell from her sweet lips.

“You’ve always made me feel so good.. so damn good, Harry..” Anna trailed wet kisses down his torso, her hands rubbing his sides, the fleeting thought of how thin he had become during his time away leaving her mind as soon as it entered it.  “And I just want to make you feel good, too..“ She whispered against his skin, goosebumps forming as he shivered at the meaning of her promise.

“Peaches..”

Her fingers splayed across his lips, silencing him as she did before.  She gave him a seductive smile, hooded eyes boring into his darkened orbs.  ”Let me take care of you, baby..”

She started the path all over again, this time adding small licks along with open mouthed kisses from his chest, down to his toned stomach before she reached the top of his boxer briefs.  She licked her bottom lip in anticipation, causing Harry’s breaths to come out in harsh pants.  With her thumbs hooked in the waistband, she pulled them down slowly, making his erection spring to life before her eager eyes.

Harry sucked in a breath, the cold air adding on to the sensitivity of his stiff cock.  He wanted to throw her on her back and have his way with her, his body longing for her ever since the last time they were intimate like this.  But Anna had made it clear he was to lay back as she took the power.

It was when he felt the first flick of the tip of her tongue on the head of his cock that he knew she was completely serious at wanting to please him, groaning loudly as she lapped up the wetness that had already started to form from desire.

“Fuck,” he muttered, bucking his hips when she took him in her warm mouth at once, letting him slide in easily as she held the base with her free hand, the other on his stomach, her fingernails lightly scratching the little trail of hairs that turned her on.  His moans grew in volume when she formed a suction around him, driving him mad with lust as she worked him with her mouth.

He looked down and his breathing became more irregular at the sight of her dark curls being tossed to one side, tickling his knees, her ministrations being in full view.  He watched as part of him slipped in and out of her hungry mouth, her eyes slid shut as if she was savoring this moment.. as if she was enjoying this just as much as he was.

And she was.  Her panties were soaked, her core aching in need to be filled with all of him, missing how full and complete she felt when he was buried to the hilt.

“Oh, fuck.. fuck..” He chanted when his cock hit the back of her throat, Anna humming, creating tiny shocks that went down his spine from the vibration, tightening his balls.  He brought his hands up and roughly rubbed his face then slipped his fingers through his hair, tugging to get some type of self control as she sucked him harder.  She moved her free hand to cup his balls, massaging them expertly, the pressure building and building and she knew he was about to come.

But just when he was on the brink of letting go, Anna took him out of her mouth with a pop, the look of pure ecstasy that was written on his face only fueling her empowerment. She licked her lips sensually when Harry’s helpless eyes stared back at her, his eyes narrowing at the sight of her swollen lips, a whimper leaving him.

She smiled seductively at him, and Harry thought for sure his heart stopped as his lower region grew more stiff, as if it was even possible.  “Baby..” He trailed off when she got on her hands and knees and began crawling up to meet his lips in a chaste kiss, straddling him in the process.  “You are so fucking sexy…”

And she felt it.  Harry always made her feel sexy, always made her feel incredibly comfortable with her sexuality.  With two hands planted firmly on his bare chest, her hips became to rock on their own accord, her body’s basic instinctive needs being the source of the act.  They both whimpered at the ministration, Harry’s own hands running down her back to palm her still clothed backside, squeezing the flesh he found there.

“Mm,” she moaned, leaning forward to muffle the sounds by meshing their lips together, the friction of the material of her lacy panties and the heat from his skin adding on to the wetness that was soon to be dripping from her.  “I missed you… I missed this… so fucking much…” Her fingers slid back into his mussed hair, finding home there.  Harry quickly slid her knickers down until it reached her knees, Anna immediately reaching between them to guide his cock inside her wet pussy.

They both gasped at the instant gratification of being connected after so long, Harry bringing his hands to tangle in her curls, keeping her mouth within reach as he bit and licked at her lips.  She slid down onto his cock, taking a moment to adjust to his length, her chest pressed firmly on his, still covered by her forgotten bra.  Harry’s hips thrust to stretch her inner walls further, burying himself deep inside of her core, eliciting a cry of pleasure from her.

“Harry..” She moaned over and over, starting a slow pace above him, grinding her clit on his hipbone, already feeling the pressure in her lower belly building towards her climax. It wasn’t long before she moved her hips faster, his tongue slipping past her parted lips to taste her tongue, massaging it with his own as she rode him hard and fast.

“Come on, baby.. Come for me..” Harry encouraged, coming close to the end.

“Oh, oh god.. Oh, Harry..” Her hips rolled on his, her walls tightening around him in warning.

“That’s it.. just like that, peaches.. Let go with me..”

A few more pushes of his own hips pushed her over the edge, Anna’s eyes tightly shut as her mouth hung open in a silent cry, riding out the waves of pleasure that crashed through her, her inner walls milking Harry’s cock as he came right along with her in a loud groan, his teeth sinking into her shoulder as he filled her up.

She collapsed on him, exhausted and satisfied, neither one of them having the energy to slip his softening cock out of her still clinging walls.

The pad of his thumb swept down her cheek while the feather like touch of his fingertips whispered on her neck.  ”Stay,” his soft plea was felt on the crown of her head, fly away hairs slightly blowing back with his still pant of breath.

Annalisa snuggled closer, her head making home in the crook of his neck, her delicate hand resting on his glistening chest, still slicked with sweat.  Her swollen lips twitched at the one word he had uttered, her heart beating wildly in her chest at the hidden meaning of him wanting her to stay with him.. forever.

_Stay._

And she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)


	7. How They Spent Their First Christmas

Harry woke first, the gray of morning drifting through his windows to remind him of the early start he had to a long week.  They had both fallen into exhausted sleep soon after Anna snuggled closer to him, no other words uttered after he asked her to stay.

He turned his head to the side, finding Anna still fast asleep on her pillow.  She must have gotten uncomfortable sometime during the night, Harry’s body temperature always running hot, because she had somehow shifted to her side of the bed.  It was still too early for him to get up and although he was well enough, there was no denying the extra time in bed was needed with his slight fatigue.

So he watched her.

It was something he had done before, countless times.  He remembered the way her brows furrowed together often, the way her even breaths quickened as her chest rose and fell rapidly, as if what she was witnessing behind her closed lids terrorized her.

But this time was much different.   _She_ was different.  A flinch of a tiny smile appeared on her face instead of a frown, and her forehead never creased in discomfort.  Her cheeks weren’t pale, a nice pink color there instead.  And her breathing was normal, steady as she rested peacefully.  He resisted the urge to reach out and run the back of his knuckles on her porcelain skin, not wanting to disturb her from the pleasant dreams she seemed to be having.

He gazed adoringly at her instead, smiling at her angelic features, grateful to have this incredible woman back in his bed.

But with the stillness in the early morning hours, his mind began to race at the possible doubt that would cross her face when she woke and found him beside her.

Would she regret this, claim the words she spoke to him just hours ago were just sweet nothings?

He didn’t think he could ever recover from that.

Carefully, he placed a soft kiss on her head, freezing for a second when she stirred before sliding off the mattress when she fell still again.

He busied himself with his daily morning routine aside from the morning jog, taking a few days off.  He thought about not grooming the ginger beard, but the mere thought of giving his family more opportunity to take jabs at him made him decide to trim it down to be presentable.

He took a quick hot shower, then carefully treated his still blistered feet, and strolled into the kitchen to brew the coffee that would persuade her to wake up.

And it did.

The strong aroma of coffee drifted the pleasant dreams she was having away as she slowly awoke, her fuzzy mind becoming familiar with her surroundings with her eyes still shut.  She felt the bed dip with added weight and peeled her eyes open, a lazy grin instantly spreading on her lips at the sight before her.

Harry was dressed only in gray sweatpants, his hair mussed from the shower he had grabbed a short while ago.  He was carefully studying her, his uncertainty clearly written across his features.

“Morning,” she groggily greeted him.

“Morning,” he replied in the deep voice she longed to hear when they were apart.  “I, uh, made you coffee.“

Grabbing ahold of the sheets that covered her, she scooted into a sitting position to accept the steaming mug.  ”Mm,” she moaned in delight, taking the first heavenly sip of fresh caffeine.  ”Thank you.”

He smiled gently, taking in her messy curls that had been wrapped around his fingers just hours ago.  ”No problem.”

Anna tilted her head to the side, contemplating where to go from last night, knowing there was still things she had to say.

Slowly reaching forward towards him, she cradled his cheek in one hand, her thumb caressing the flush of his skin.  ”Hey,” she softly said.

Harry’s eyes fluttered shut at her sweet touch, his heart beat accelerating at what was coming next.  ”Hey,” he whispered back.

He could feel the bed shift, could hear the ruffling of the sheets and his insides jumped when he felt her pant of breath on his face.  Her lips brushed against his in a warm kiss.

“Last night,” she started as soon as she pulled away, Harry guarding his heart as he patiently waited.  She sighed, a slow toothy grin forming.  “Last night was wonderful.“

He swallowed, mutely nodding along.  She could see the tension in his bare shoulders, could see the look of worry flash across his face, Harry never being able to master the art of concealing his feelings, no matter how hard he tried.

“I..” She trailed, her mind going blank, scrambling to remember the speech she had prepared.  “Shit.“

“Listen..” Harry cleared his throat, avoiding Anna’s stare as he studied the steam rising from the cup she was cradling.  “We don’t have to talk about last night.“

“Harry..”

“No, it’s alright.  You know.. I.. I get it.  We both missed each other and-”

“Harry..”

“…we got caught up in the moment.  And-”

“Harry, stop,” she begged, her heart aching at Harry’s assumption that she had regrets.

“Ann-”

She firmly pressed her lips to his to silence him, Harry too shell shocked to return her affections.  ”I don’t want to _not_ talk about last night.”

Harry didn’t respond, just sat there frozen to the spot as he let her get out whatever she was holding in her chest.  Anna placed the mug on the nightstand so she could cradle his face in both hands.

“I don’t have any regrets about last night.  I meant every word.  You’re the only one for me.. I want to marry you, I want to have babies with you.  The way that I see it now is that there is either life with you, or no life at all.  And while it’s taken me some time to figure my shit out, I’ve come to the realization that before you… Harry, I was just going through the motions of everyday, trapped inside this darkness.  That’s not living..” She gave him a reassuring smile before continuing.  “And I want to live.  I _choose_ to live.”

Bringing her head to rest against his, her next words were said in just a breath of a whisper, but had such strength and force to crumble all the walls he had spent the morning building with the impending moment she would wake up.

“I choose you, Henry Wales.”

Harry felt like he was soaring, his permanent residence being on cloud nine at the five worded sentence she had just voiced.  The air whooshed out of him in a happy laugh as he brought his hands to hold her face like she was holding his and kissed her.

“This is it this time.  I’m done being stuck inside my head.  I’m done pushing you away.  I’m done with not living.  I love you,” she said.

“I love you.”

They kissed repeatedly, pecking each other’s mouths in between giggles while their joyful tears mixed together.

“There’s just one thing I ask of you.”

“Anything,” came Harry’s immediate reply.

“I swear to you that I will be completely open with you from this moment forward, no matter what it is, as long as you promise to be patient with me.  I’m going to have my moments and I need your understanding..”

“Of course, Annalisa.  You have my word, my promise.  You have…” He paused, placing a lingering kiss on her peach lips.  “You have all of me.   _You_ are all that I’m asking for in return.”

“You have me.” Anna sniffled back the happy tears before smiling sweetly.  ”You have all of me, too.”

She pulled him on top of her, needing to feel his weight on her, craving to wrap him up in her arms as they spent the forty minutes cuddling and kissing, no other words needing to be said.

The time flew by and before either one of them knew it, Harry’s phone alerted them of the fifteen minutes that were remaining before a car would be waiting for him outside his door.

“Oh shit.. we never packed your bags,” Anna remembered when Harry reluctantly raised off the bed to gather his clothes.

“Well,” he scratched his head, a sheepish laugh escaping him.

“What?” Anna questioned, following the direction of where his eyes briefly darted to, almost choking on a laugh.  “You sneaky bastard.  Were you trying to sleep with me?!“

A suitcase and duffel bag that looked recently packed with fresh clothes and necessities for a few days sat neatly together by his dresser.

“Hey, you came onto me! I wanted to get you here so I could give you your Christmas present.”

“Lies!”

“I swear it! I had no idea this was happening.  I was sure we were going to discuss ‘us’ after New Years like we originally planned.”

“Ha!” Anna laughed, reaching for her now lukewarm coffee.  ” _Come on, baby.  Come home with me so I can lure you into my chamber of love._ “ She mimicked his deep voice, Harry howling with laughter.

“You are a strange woman, Annalisa Caro,” he said, turning his back towards her to change out of his sweats.

“Yeah but you love me.”

“I’m starting to question why.”

“Easy.  Because you’re a strange little leprechaun.”

His hands froze on the waistband of his sweatpants, turning slightly to look at her incredulously.

“You’re delusional if you think I’m a ‘little’ leprechaun.  You’ve seen the goods.  They are most definitely not ‘little’.”

Anna snorted behind the cup.  ”I don’t know.. I remember it being much bigger than what I witnessed last night.  Are you sure being out there for a month didn’t do any shrinking damage?”

“Fuck off,” he laughed, his back facing her again.

“Is that the proper way to speak to a lady, Your Royal Highness?”

“I’m not speaking to you after you insulted me.”

She took big gulps to finish off the cold liquid, wrinkling her nose at the bitter taste.  ”It wasn’t an insult, grouch.  I was expressing my concern for your health condition.” She watched Harry drop his sweatpants before sliding his boxers then trousers on.  ”Nice bum, where you from?”

Harry threw a flattered smile over his shoulder, forgetting their previous bickering, as he did the button and zipped up his fly.  ”Wherever you want me to be from, sweetheart,” he said in his best American accent.

“Oh,” Anna giggled, setting the mug on the side table.  “Are we roleplaying again?“

Harry sauntered over towards her with a confident grin.  ”You wanna play?”

She bit her lip, a thousand scenarios going through her head, her cheeks turning pink as her eyes traveled down his shirtless chest to his happy trail before stopping at the top of his trousers.

Once he reached the side of the bed, he winked down at her.  ”I could put on a Santa hat right now and you could be my Mrs Claus.”

“Tempting.  But Santa gets none until after he’s delivered the presents.  That’s his incentive every year.”

“Ha!” Harry threw his head back and guffawed, then tackled her without warning, pushing her down on the bed.  Anna squealed in surprise, but her laughs were muffled by his mouth pressing sloppy kisses on hers.

“Say my penis didn’t shrink.” He pouted as his shining eyes bore into her bright ones.

Anna shrugged, rubbing the hair on his face.  ”Say I’m beautiful.”

He grinned wickedly.  ”I’m beautiful.”

She shook her head and laughed.  ”Say Anna is beautiful.”

“Anna is beautiful,” he parroted.

“She is always right.”

“She is almost never right.”

“Hey!”

“Oh, sorry,” he coughed.  “She is _always_ right.”

“And I am forever obligated to help her win at playing Rummy.”

“And I am forever obligated to help her win at playing doctor.”

“Henry,” she warned, stifling her giggles at his smugness.

“Nope, two out of three ain’t bad.  Now say my penis did not shrink.”

Anna playfully rolled her eyes.  ”I’m no doctor but.. I would say in my professional nursing opinion, your penis did not shrink.”

“Thank you.”

Another alert message came through his phone, informing him the car was outside for him.  But they continued to lay there, enjoying the last few seconds before he would depart.

“Starting at 10, I’ll have Peter on standby for you whenever you’re ready to head back to your flat.  Just go outside and he will be there with a car.  But please take your time, make yourself at home.” He kissed her forehead softly.  “Drink some tea, grab a bath, and just relax.“

“I wish we weren’t apart for Christmas,” she confessed, wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace.

“Do you want to come with me?” He asked, wiggling his brows suggestively.

“That would go over so well.”

“We have to discuss when you want to meet them.” Anna pulled a nervous face and Harry laughed.  “What? They’re not so scary once you get to know them.  They’re a bit on the nutty side but…”

Anna lifted her brows in question when he trailed off.  ”…but what?”

“Well.. They’re, um..”

“Yeees?” She drawled.

“They’re not as crazy.. Erm, weird…” He stopped, panicking to find the right word that wouldn’t offend her.

Anna smirked, fully aware of what he was insinuating.  ”Go ahead and dig the hole deeper, Wales.”

“You know what,” he said, giving her side a little pinch, causing her to yelp.  “I’m just going to say it.  Your family is fucking nuts.“

Anna’s boisterous laugh warmed his insides, still not believing she was here, in his bed, with his arms around her.

“Let’s wait until after the New Year to come up with a ‘meet the family’ plan.” Her hands pushed against his chest for him to release her in a weak attempt.  “Now get the hell out of here before I kick your ass.“

His lips formed a smirk.  ”I would enjoy watching you try, Caro.”

Anna’s nose wrinkled.  ”Kiss my ass.”

Harry’s eyes twinkled as they widened in surprise.  He quickly recovered, shifting to pretend he was turning her over on her stomach, Anna’s giggles surrounding them as she fought against him.

“Not literally!”

He was able to get a hand on her bottom as he gave her a light tap.  ”Don’t say something unless you really mean it.”

Anna’s own hands slid down his back and grabbed hold of his ass, grinning at his groan when she squeezed his covered flesh.  He was just about to kiss her when his phone interrupted, buzzing to life on his nightstand.  ”Fuck,” he cursed, dropping his head on her shoulder.  ”I’m late.”

“Are you making the Queen wait for your presence?” Anna teased in a disapproving tone.

“She’ll get over it,” he mumbled against her soft skin.  He began to place soft kisses on her still bare flesh, his lips trailing along her shoulder to her neck.  Once he buried his whole face in the warmth of her neck, he growled at the intrusive buzzing sound again.

“Okay, bad boy.  I think she’s waited long enough.” She moaned in sweet pleasure when he tongued her pulse, bucking her hips off the mattress to push against his, immediately feeling the evidence of his arousal.  “Henry…”

“Shh..” He licked along her jawline, his lips seeking hers as he devoured her, moaning at the sweet taste of her tongue when she slipped it inside of his waiting mouth.

Her hands became more forceful on his backside, her legs untangling from the sheets.  With her feet planted firmly on the bed, she trapped him between her knees, holding him there tightly. She tore her mouth from his, throwing her head back as her breaths came out in harsh pants, Harry continuing to love her as he made his way down to her chest.

Nudging the bed sheet with his nose, her round breasts came into view, her nipples perking up at the shift in temperature.

“Mmm,” he hummed, taking her erect nipple in his mouth, eliciting loud moans from her, his cock hardening to the point of pleasured pain.  He lapped at her, sucked on her, the desire to hear her screams bounce off the walls egging him.  He moved to the other breast to pay the same attention, his hands busily removing the sheets to reveal the rest of her naked form.

“Oh god, Harry.”

She was already so incredibly aroused that Harry could feel the heat before his fingers easily slid between her folds, his thumb immediately pressing on the bundle of nerves, Anna crying out.

“Shit, you’re so wet already.”

“Please, oh please..” She chanted in reply.

The doorbell rang, but Harry didn’t stop, pressing two fingers inside of her aching pussy, massaging her tight walls.

“Oh..so tight and wet for me.”

Anna knew they didn’t have much time for this, but the way Harry kept stretching her, scissoring his digits, she wouldn’t be lasting very long.

“Are you going to come for me, baby?”

“Yeeees..” Her voice shook, her hands gripping the sheets, as the pressure in her belly grew stronger.

Just as she was about to explode, Harry slid his fingers from her clinging channel, Anna whimpering in protest.  ”It’s okay, love…I need to feel you come apart on me.”

He quickly brought himself to his knees, undoing his trousers and pushing them down along with his boxers, his lustful eyes never leaving hers as she panted.

She was stunning, her hair a mess from the night before and this mornings activities, her lips swollen from his hungry kisses, and her skin so flushed from the desire she felt.  His gaze moved down to her heaving chest, still glistening from his mouth, her nipples poking out in attention.

“You are so beautiful,” he breathed, his hands reaching to knead her breasts and tease her pink tips.  His lashes fluttered against his cheeks when Anna’s hand wrapped around his erection, stroking him steadily.

The doorbell rang out in the apartment again, but they both ignored it, too caught up in the sounds they were drawing out of each other.

“Please, Harry…”

He hissed when she squeezed him.  ”Mmm..tell me what you need..”

“I need you..”

But that wasn’t enough.  He had to hear her voice exactly what she wanted.

“Need me to do what?” His breathing became more erratic as her hand quickened the pace, his fingers instinctively rolling her tight nipples.

“Henry, please just fuck me..”

He couldn’t hold back any longer at the sounds of her pleads, at the words he was desperate to hear.  He turned her over, bringing her to her knees.  His hands caressed down her back as he positioned himself behind her before burying himself deep within her, both crying out as they collapsed on the mattress.

Harry hadn’t realized Anna had come undone, his vision white at the intense pleasure that shot through him, his sore toes curling, until he came to and felt her walls contracting around him.  The tiny aftershocks mixed with the fullness of Harry being buried to the hilt made Anna whimper repeatedly, enjoying his weight on her back.

Harry brought his mouth to her ear, pulling out of her before shoving his cock back in, her soft moans increasing in volume again.

“I…love…you…so….damn….much..” His harsh breaths blew on the side of her face.

“Love you, love you, love you,” she chanted.

It took just a few more pushes of his hips before they both came apart, together this time, Anna in a strangled cry of bliss and Harry in a loud grunt.

“Thank you, Mrs. Claus.”

Anna let out a tired laugh, exhaustion taking over.  ”No, thank _you,_ Santa.”

The persistent doorbell this time didn’t go ignored as they both sighed and groaned as Harry slipped out of her.  ”I hate to do this but-“

“You have to go,” she finished, rubbing her cheek on the pillow beneath her.

“Yeah.” He kissed her cheek then lifted himself up and off the bed, pulling the covers up to lay over her.  He glanced at her unmoving form, chuckling at the sight of her being too spent from their lovemaking, as he brought his trousers and boxers back up and fastened it.

He grabbed his phone and typed out a quick apology to the POs that had been waiting for him at the door and in the car, then threw his shirt and coat on.

“Are you going to kiss me goodbye, love?”

Anna lifted up a limp hand and weakly motioned for him to go to her, and Harry obliged with a chuckle.

He ducked his head and kissed her waiting mouth.  ”I’ll try to sneak a phone call tomorrow morning.  Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Will you be alright over here?”

“Mhm.”

“If you need anything, call Maggie or Jake.  They’ll know how to help.”

“Yes, sir.” Anna slowly rolled onto her back, opening her arms so he could give her one last long hug and kiss.  “Merry Christmas.“

“Merry Christmas, baby.”

A few short minutes later she watched him grab his belongings and smiled, trying to blink back the tears as the ache in her chest grew stronger.

They had just begun again, more solid than ever before, a new _them,_ not even 24 hours ago.  And here they were, already separating for a few days with little to no contact, spending their first Christmas of many apart.

She knew this was to be expected, even years from now they wouldn’t share the holiday until they were married.

But being fully aware of this didn’t ease the pain any.

Harry gifted her with a slow lazy grin and a promising wink, reaching all the way to her heart.  Anna touched her pursed lips and blew him a kiss seconds before he walked out the door.

She lay there, already counting down the hours between now and when she would see him that weekend, her good mood drastically fading into one she didn’t want to be in.

_When you start to slip, focus on one positive from the day or even week.  And hold that, mull it over and over until you feel yourself crawling out of that hole of helplessness._

Practicing the technique from Dr Caffrey, her mind focused on the magical night her and Harry shared.  She replayed everything from his surprising appearance, his confession of wanting to see her before he had to go, and the heartfelt Christmas presents she had unwrapped.

The emotions hit her hard, remembering the dance in his bright blues when she fully let him in, when she gave him all of her, taking a leap with all of her faith in them being able to make this work.  She recalled the unguarded love and admiration that shone in his eyes whenever he looked at her, and the way her heart sang, no longer carrying the heavy weight at the glimpse of their future together.

She sighed and giggled happily, throwing the covers off of her and quickly slipped on her discarded knickers and the button up shirt he wore the previous night.

Noting she still had two hours to kill before a car would be ready for her, her eyes swept through the room as she searched for something to do to fill the time.  Her eye caught the iPod he left behind on his dresser and she picked it up, curious to know what he had been listening to lately.

There was a playlist up, titled ‘South Pole’ and a song she was familiar with paused midway.  She went back, scrolling through the other songs he had on it, the majority being Metallica and Stone Temple Pilots with the occasional The Killers and Mumford Sons.  But she caught tracks that she had imported on the device for his birthday, tracks that were of her covering her favorite tunes.

A wide smile spread across her face.  Harry had been listening to her voice while he was away, missing her just as much as she had been missing him.

An embarrassing squeal left her lips, followed by a laugh of how silly she was, at how a man could make a grown woman behave like a love struck schoolgirl.  She was too giddy to keep still now, too happy to relax in a bubble bath like he had suggested.

She felt like dancing, like singing her heart out to express the way her insides felt.  Going back to the last song Harry had played, she tapped on the rewind and pressed play, her hips and head already moving to the sounds of the guitar, her feet padding on the flooring when the keys of the piano kicked in.

But it wasn’t enough.

She climbed on the bed and stood up, balancing herself before she began to dance sloppily and belted out the chorus.

“ _Moooooother! Just can’t get enough…just can’t get eno-_ – Ahhh!” She screamed when she jumped around, her heart in her throat at seeing Harry standing in the doorway, pure humor on his face as he watched her.  “Why do you keep doing that?!”

“Throwing a party for my departure?” He yelled over the music, Anna too stunned to lower the volume as she placed a hand over her pounding chest.

“Jesus fucking Christ! You scared the shit out of me!”

“Don’t swear on the poor man’s birthday,” he chided, taking the short steps with his long legs to the bed.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Well, for starters, I live here.  And I forgot my iPod,” he gestured towards the device with a teasing smirk.  “But you already knew that.“

“Oh my god, this is embarrassing,” she groaned, face palming.

“Ha! It’s not the first time I’ve caught you singing and dancing in your underwear.”

“And I’m sure it won’t be the last,” she muttered.

“At least this time it’s New Radicals and not some shitty music.”

She raised a brow when he began to slip off his shoes.  ”What are you doing?”

He jumped up on the bed effortlessly, and held onto her hips.  ”Dancing with you.”

“Aren’t you already late?”

“I don’t care,” he said before he threw his head back and yelled out the lyrics.

It wasn’t long before they were both stumbling on the bed, singing and laughing whenever Harry would mix up the words, making his own up.

—————-

On Christmas Eve morning, Anna had lined up the decorations near the bare tree, gearing up for the annual Trimming of the Tree with the Caros through Skype.  She hadn’t heard yet from Harry, not sure when she would, but she didn’t let it bring her down.  Instead, she kept herself occupied with baking special holiday treats to take to her birds later that evening and organized the flat as she waited for her family to wake up so they could begin the family traditions.

Most people found it odd when she explained they waited until the morning of Christmas Eve to decorate the tree, calling it pointless as they didn’t get to fully enjoy the pretty lights as long as everyone else.

But what they didn’t understand is that growing up, she always lived states away from extended family, and her grandparents made it a point to never once let them feel left out of the festivities.  They had waited until all members of the family from out of state, including her mother’s side, arrived in Boston to decorate the tree together while caroling.

It was what Anna knew, what she was familiar with.  It was her Christmas.

She remembered playing with all her cousins, running around the big house as the grown ups drank eggnog and caught up.

They were all so innocent, giggling and having the time of their lives, not yet jaded and hit with grief of loss.  It was when the kids got older that Christmas became smaller, families separating as they formed their own traditions.

She missed that in a way, just like she missed being able to see the world through her once innocent eyes.  She barely spoke to them now, all married with children of their own. But her mother kept her updated through emails of all the new marriages and new births all the time.

And now Christmas was the smallest it had ever been in the Caro household, especially this year with Finn’s deployment.  But they were all still cheerful, making the best out of it.

She had just finished stringing the lights on her four feet tree, something her family always did days before Christmas Eve, when she got the notification to sign onto the program, her excitement reflecting the one of a three year old.

“Merry Christmas Eve, my darling girl!” Her mother’s bright smile greeted her first before the rest of her family came into view in the background, all still dressed in their pajamas as they arranged the boxes of ornaments.

“Merry Christmas Eve!” Anna greeted back, waving as they chorused the same.  “I miss you, guys.”

“We miss you, baby.” Lucille said, waving her husband over.  “Marco, Annalisa’s on the computer.” She turned back to her daughter.  “We just finished up having french toast. How’s your morning been?”

“Good! Oh man, I could really go for some of your french toast right now.”

“When are you coming for a visit? We’d love to see you and I could make you french toast every morning.”

“Soon, mama,” Anna recited the same answer she always gave to the question her mother asked just about every time they spoke.

“Soon’s not going to cut it, baby girl.” Her dad sternly said when he came to sit beside his wife on the sofa.

He gave her a smile that tried to reach his eyes but Anna could see how worn out her father looked.  He had lost quite a bit of weight from the last time she saw him on Thanksgiving, his hair more gray and his face haggard as if he hadn’t been sleeping well. Her heart ached as she remembered how exhausted he looked the first couple months of Ben’s deployment, and from the looks of it, he was having a hard time with Finn’s as well.

“Hi, daddy.  Merry Christmas Eve.”

“Merry Christmas Eve.  Now when’s the next flight out of London to Boston?”

Anna laughed.  “I think sometime in May, maybe.”

Marco chuckled while Lucille’s face lit up.  “Oh, you must be here for Finn’s homecoming. We could throw a big party, invite your aunts and uncles and their families.”

“Please, Lucille.. I’m getting a migraine just thinking of all those kids wreaking havoc under one roof,” Marco groaned.

“Oh, stop it! It’ll be nice getting the whole family together again.. right, Annalisa?”

Anna was on her father’s side with this one, the thought of all the Caro’s and Lombardi’s under one roof causing an ache to form in her temple.  “I don’t know about that, mama.. But being there for Finn’s welcome home sounds like a plan.”

Lucille clapped her hands excitedly, turning around to call out to the others.  “Everybody, Annalisa’s coming home in May for Finn! Big party we have to start planning!”

Anna laughed at the shouts and cheers that came from behind her parents.  “Oh boy, you’ve got them all excited.  What if I’m not able to get time off?”

Lucille turned back around to scowl at Anna.  “Annalisa, you make sure you get the time off.  You work too much and haven’t been back home in god knows how long.  I need my babies all together again.”

Anna sighed, the words of how that would never be possible again stuck in her throat. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“You better,” Lucille said.

“Grandma, can we decorate the tree now?” She heard the sugary sweet voice of her niece, catching a glimpse of her.  “Hi Auntie Leelee!”

“Hi sweetie!” Anna waved.

“Of course we can, baby.  Annalisa, are you ready to _rock around the Christmas tree_?” Her mother sang, creating giggles from Sarah who had grabbed her grandma’s hand, pulling her up.

“Let’s do it!” Anna exclaimed, lifting up from the sofa with the laptop in her hands.  Just as she was setting it down on TV stand so they could view her trimming the tree, she caught her father watching her with a tearful expression.  “Daddy?” She questioned, concern laced in her tone.

“Marco, set the computer over there by the bar so we can see her.”

She caught the small calming breath he inhaled before he gave her a reassuring smile, rolling his eyes.  “Yes, dear.” Anna chuckled at his sarcasm, but she couldn’t get rid of the bad feeling that turned in her belly.

“Okay, who wants to put the first ornament on the tree?” Lucille asked, everyone joyfully laughing at the kids and Gabe’s enthusiasm as they swung their arms up in the air and yelled out ‘me, me, me!’.  “How about the three of you place your ornaments on the tree at the same time?”

“Yeah!”

Anna waited to begin so she could see them ornament the six foot tree her dad and the boys had cut down themselves, humming along with them to the holiday music that played softly in the background.  But when her mother paused to check her daughter’s progress, she was ordered to begin hers and not worry about theirs.

The first ornament that she picked to place on the tree was a special one, the first one every year.  She sniffled, gazing at it for a moment before she hung it up high enough for it to face the room.  Her thumb felt over the engraved Christmas In Heaven part before she moved on.  The second ornament was a special one as well; this one made her heart melt, Harry’s beaming smile flashing in her mind when he told her how the musical angel reminded him of her.

“That’s a new one.  It’s very pretty.” She turned to smile at her mother, nodding in agreement.

“It is.  It’s from Harry.”

Lucille grinned as she placed a hand on her chest where her heart was.  “That was really sweet of him.  Are you two…”

“We are,” Anna breathed, rolling her eyes when she heard the hollers from the others.

“Well, it’s about damn time someone in this family listens to me,” Rosemary commented.

“We always listen to you, Nana,” Daniel said, placing a noisy kiss on her cheek.

“How dare you lie to me on Christmas.”

Anna sought out her father to see his reaction, and when she found him smiling at the news, it made her entire Christmas.  She couldn’t wait to tell Harry.

“Yay! I’m so happy for you, darling!” Gabe said.  “Can I be the Pippa to your Kate Middleton at the next Royal Wedding?”

“Good grief,” Daniel muttered.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Gabe.  We literally just got back together yesterday.”

“Besides,” Kathie began, attaching a glittery red ball on the tree branch.  “I called dibs on being Pippa months ago.”

“Over my dead body, you are,” Luke grunted, glaring at his wife.  “I don’t want my wife’s ass plastered all over the TV and magazines.”

“Why?!” Gabe and Kathie cried together.

Luke and Daniel looked at each other and rolled their eyes.  “Women,” they said, simultaneously.

“You guys are awful,” Anna said, never stopping her task of getting all of the red and green balls on the tree, it looking fuller and more cheerful already.

“Auntie Leelee, are you getting married?” Sarah asked.

She paused and looked at her curious face.  “Someday,” she answered, hopeful.

“Can I be your ring bearer?” Benny asked.

“Oh, can I be your flower girl? Please, please, please?” Sarah pleaded, her small hands folded together.

Anna giggled along with the rest of the family.  “Absolutely.  You’ll be the prettiest flower girl and you will be the most handsome ring bearer, Benny.”

“And you’ll be the most beautiful princess!” Sarah grinned, showing off her two missing front teeth.

Blushing, she thanked her niece and ignored the torments from her brothers and in-laws.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough being mean to your sister,” Marco interjected, winking at his daughter when she gave him a grateful look.  “Who wants to put the star up?”

Anna watched as her mother lovingly wrapped her arms around her dad’s thin waist, hugging him close.  “I think you should do the honors, honey,” Lucille said, emotion thick in her voice.  The bad feeling in Anna’s lower stomach intensified as she saw her siblings share a secret long look, unspoken words being passed between her parents as they stared at each other.

The melancholy melody of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas was the only sound that was heard as everyone watched Marco study the fully decorated tree.  Anna wondered what he was thinking, having the notion that he was getting choked up.

Was he missing his youngest son, wishing he was still there other than in spirit? Or was he sending out a prayer for his other son who was spending the family holiday out in the desert, fighting a war that took his brother’s life several years ago?

She saw her mother, grandmother, and Kathie wipe their eyes and Gabe bow his head as he sniffled back his own emotions.  Luke hugged his kids close, keeping his focus on the top of the tree where the star would sit.  She felt the air leave her lungs when Daniel stepped up to her father and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

And with shaky hands, Marco lifted up the white studded star and placed it on top of the tree.

——-

The next hour was spent sitting by the recently lit tree, chatting about what was going on in everyone’s lives.  Anna told them what she knew of the success of Harry’s South Pole expedition and promised to pass along their congratulations.  After being caught up, the remaining time she had before she would have to start getting ready for her overnight shift was filled with laughter as they reminisced past Christmases.

Anna smiled, drinking the hot cocoa as she watched her family laugh and throw tinsel around that had fallen on the floor.  It was her favorite part of the holidays, silently enjoying the banter and the laughs that went around, seeing the smiles and the excitement of her niece and nephew of opening presents the next morning, sad that she was missing out on them growing up.

It felt bittersweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)


	8. How They Spent Their First Christmas (continued)

Christmas Eve found Anna in the holiday spirit throughout the night, caroling with the patients and their families in between rounds and munching on the baked goods she brought in for the entire unit.  The children were on sugar highs, desperate to stay awake to catch a glimpse of the jolly man that would fill the bare Christmas tree with presents from his massive red sack.

The ordinarily noiseless halls during the resting hours were far from silent that night, Anna and her fellow nurses and doctors continuing on with the festivities while the families and children slept by acting like Santa and his elves, getting the playroom ready for Christmas morning and perfecting the placements of the well gifted presents.

On Christmas Day, she worked past her shift to witness the Christmas morning excitement from her birds as they tore open their presents near the tree that stood tall. Her smile never faded as she raised the lens to her focused eye, snapping photo after photo, capturing precious moments that were held so dear to those around.

She did it every year, using the photos to create a unique collage for each family of their child. But the one photo the staff always looked forward to was the one that would be hung on the surrounding walls. The children, the parents, and the working staff grouped together with wide smiles and Santa hats as they waited for the timer of the camera to go off to snap another Christmas they felt blessed to celebrate.

It was just before lunch by the time she got home, the ache in her feet reminding her of the long shift she had just gotten off from as she padded into the bathroom to grab a shower. She called her family to wish them an official Merry Christmas while they opened presents, chatting with them longer than she had originally planned. Then she fixed herself a cup of hot cocoa with an overload of marshmallows before plopping on the sofa to rest before it was time to go back that evening for another shift.

She turned her laptop on, gearing up for a short chat with Finn who had emailed her a couple days before with the time he would be available for a Skype session.

And after twenty minutes of waiting and watching The Family Stone, her laptop sprang to life with his call.

“Hey,” she laughed at the Santa hat he wore proudly, his name glittered across the top. “Nice hat.“

“Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!” He sang in his best Santa impression.

“Merry Christmas, St Nick.  How are you doing?”

“I’m good, I’m good.  How’s it going over there? Staying out of trouble?” A broad smile was her reply and Finn chuckled, nodding in understanding.  “You’ve got that same look you did when I first got to London and you and Harry were still screwing around..“

“Screwing around?” She scoffed.  “We were a bit more serious than that.“

Finn rolled his eyes upward, turning his palms face up as he shrugged.  ”Tomato, tamato. So, are you-“

“Back together, yep.” Anna finished for him.

Hearing the upbeat tone of his sister rang in his ears and seeing her so undeniably happy was a sight for sore eyes for Finn.  The first official month of deployment was the hardest, so he had learned.  Foreign surroundings with being on constant alertness was more enough to make him miss home.  He experienced waves of feeling homesick, trying his best to keep sole focus on the task he was sent there to complete to avoid the anxiousness in his chest.

But his heart had a mind of it’s own on his off time, betraying him as the memories of home drifted to front center.  He missed everything.  The sweet aroma of his mama’s cooking breakfast as he laid in bed, the sharp wit of his grandma that kept him on his toes, and the discussions on pride for your country from his father.  He now empathized with his only sister on how she must feel being so far from home.

It had been four weeks.  Just four weeks, while she had been away for over four years.

“I’m happy for you, sis.  He’s one of the good ones.”

“I know,” she sighed, dreamily.  “As opposed to you, of course.“

“Me?!” Finn exclaimed.  “I’m the perfect gentleman.“

“Right.  What was your motto again? Wham bam thank you ma’am!”

“Please never say that again.  No one uses that expression anymore, Anna.”

“Sure they do,” she argued.

“They don’t.  Get with the times, will you? Even nana is more hip hopping than you.”

“Shut up,” she laughed.  “Mom and I are creating a list, by the way, of some things you’d want in a care package.“

Finn pulled a face, confused.  ”You and mom are making a care package while residing in two countries?”

“No,” she rolled her eyes.  “She’s making one and I’m making the other.  You’ll get hers first, most likely.  It sounds like she’s been gathering some shit up before you even left.“

Finn smiled at the mention of his kind hearted mama, wishing he could give her a big bear hug.  ”She loves me.”

“Amazing, isn’t it?”

“You’re just jealous that I’m her favorite.”

“Ha!” Anna laughed.  “Still delusional, I see.“

“You see shit,” Finn goaded.  “Even being a four eyes.“

“Okay, and you say I’m not with the times? No one says four eyes anymore.  Who’s hip hopping now?”

He loved this.  He really did.  His brothers and sister never let up on the childish taunting, no matter how old they got.  They went through hell and back together, facing death and deployment..but that’s what kept them so close, the tough love.

“Alright, you win.”

“What?!” Anna gasped, not quite believing Finn gave up so quick when he was known to never let an argument go until the other person declared defeat.  “Did you just say I beat you at something? Hell has froze over.  Are there flying pigs outside my window?“

Finn blew out a humorous chuckle.  ”You live in the UK.  I wouldn’t be surprised what kind of shit flies by your window.” He turned somber, his eyes softening.  ”Besides, being out here sure takes the stubbornness out of a person.”

“Even a Caro?” She weakly joked, sensing the shift in his demeanor as he slouched in his chair and his shoulders hunched over.

“Ha! Even a Caro.”

She studied him, concern etched across her face at his once lively eyes now jaded and his half hearted laughs.  She recalled the first time she had talked to Ben when he got shipped off to Iraq and the change in his tone was evident.  But Ben had always been more serious than Finn, and because of that, her worry for her older brother increased.  ”Are you sure you’re okay, Finn?”

He smiled and nodded, shrugging away the sullen mood.  ”Yes, I’m okay.  Would I ever lie to you?” She lifted a brow.  ”Yeah, don’t answer that.  So what were you saying about the care package?”

She wanted to question him further, wanted to know that he was really okay even though he didn’t look it.  But she knew how angry a Caro could get if pushed too far.  And she definitely didn’t want that to happen when it was Christmas, so she saved that battle for another day.

“Oh, right.  Well since mom is making one too, I don’t really know what you needed.  She has things like socks, paper, pens, toothpaste, all that crap.  But how much deodorant does a guy really need?”

Finn gave her an incredulous look.  ”Have you been around a guy after a days worth of sweat?”

Anna wrinkled her nose in disgust.  ”Ew.”

“The more deodorant, the better.  Oh, can you make sure Ma’s in charge of that? I don’t like anything but axe.”

“Axe,” Anna nodded as she made a mental note.  “I’ll let mom know later.  Anything else you need?“

“Umm..” He thought, cocking his head to the side and looking upwards.  “Twizzlers, the cherry kind.  And a shitload of mint gum.  Sugarfree only.“

“Not like you’re picky or anything..” Anna mumbled, reaching for the pen and notepad she kept on the coffee table to jot down his requests.

“Oh, and can you get Luke to record the Super Bowl for me?”

“Don’t they give you access to watch that?”

“Yeah, if you’re not on mission.  But I’m not sure where I’ll be so if you can have him tape it just in case.”

“Okay, sure.  Oh! I’ll throw in some Pats memorabilia,” she said as she underlined ‘Super Bowl?’ that she had scribbled on the yellow pad.  Her dad’s lucky Pats jersey entered her mind, smiling at the memory of him always rooting for his New England Patriots as they traveled throughout the US.  But the thought of such a thing caused her stomach to flip flop.  “Hey, do you know something I don’t?”

“I know many things you don’t,” he joked with a teasing smirk.

“Whatever.  What I mean is during the trimming of the tree yesterday, they were acting kinda weird and sharing these long glances.  Know what that’s about?”

Finn’s brows furrowed together before he shook his head.  ”Haven’t got a clue.  But I’m calling there in a bit so if I find out anything, I’ll let you know.”

They chatted for another few minutes, Anna telling him the presents their family had sent her for Christmas and Finn handing out his commentary for every single sweater, home knitted pair of socks, DVD set, and others she showed him.

“Alright, four eyes, that’s all the time I’ve got for you.”

Anna sighed in mock relief.  ”Thank god, I thought you’d never leave.”

“Funny,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his tone.  “Tell Harry I say Merry Christmas and I wish him luck with putting up with your annoying ass.“

“Shut up! You’re annoying.” She crossed her arms in a pout.

“That look only works on dad.  Anyway, I’m calling the rest of the crazies now so let’s keep the fact that I called you first on the down low.”

Anna gave him two thumbs up.  ”Gotcha! Love you.”

“Love you, too.  I’ll email you when I get a chance.”

“Okay, be safe,” Anna recited the words she always did when they were saying their goodbyes.

“You, too.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year if I don’t get to talk to you before then.”

“ _We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year_!” She sang, getting a snigger from him before they waved goodbye.

She sighed as she snapped the laptop shut, directing her attention to the fully lit Christmas tree, the blinking of the white lights blinding her slightly.  She always felt relieved and at ease when she got to talk to Finn, getting that reassurance that he was still okay; it felt nice having just a few minutes free from worrying over his well being.

Ben came to mind as he normally did during times like these.  His laugh echoed in her ears, his goofy grin still clear when she envisioned it.  Rising from the sofa and making way to the tree, she cradled the Christmas In Heaven ornament in her hand.

“Merry Christmas, Ben,” she whispered, her thumb sweeping across her brother’s young smiling face.

Her chest tightened as the realization of spending another Christmas without her twin hit her without warning.  It was hard to breathe, the air became too stuffy and she felt herself slipping into a panic attack.  She wracked her brain to cling to something that would calm her, something that would ease the pain that was piercing through her heart.

The ringing of bells wafted through the air from the television speakers, the beginnings of a song she knew well.  Tears welled up in her eyes, the melancholy melody getting the best of her as she began to softly sing along, her gaze never leaving her brother’s.

“I can still hear you.. I can hear you.. I can hear you.. I can still hear you..”

Choking on a sob, she covered her mouth as she succumbed to the cries that were held deep in her chest, letting them pour out of her.

She let herself have a few minutes, grieving for him on the special day, before Dr. Caffrey’s voice filled her.

_Remember it’s okay to cry.  Everybody does it.  It means you are feeling, and as long as you are feeling, you are alive.  You are still here, able to see the sunset, able to breathe in that fresh crisp air of morning.  And while it’s tough to think that the ones we lose are no longer here with us and will never be able to get that feeling back again, you are still here, Annalisa.  You are still here to experience it not only for you, but for them too.  Keep that in mind, it will help you rise above, it will lift you up once you’ve had that cry.  You cry, then you take a cleansing breath, and you pick yourself back up._

And minutes later, as she peered out into the empty street that was usually bustling with life, she did just that.

She picked herself back up.

———-

“Agh..” The piercing sound of her phone roused her from a deep sleep, exhaustion taking over from the lack of rest she had gotten in the past couple of days.  She blindly reached to put a stop to the persistent wails and squinted at the caller id.  “Ugh,“ she grumbled when she didn’t recognize the number and silenced it before plopping her head back on the warm pillow.

A few seconds later, the device sprang to life again.  ”What the fuck?” Seeing the same unknown number, Anna sighed and swiped her thumb across the screen and brought it up to her ear.

“Hello?” She groggily answered.

“Are you sleeping away the cheeriest day of the year?” Harry’s voice filtered through the other end, a warm smile spreading across her face as she tiredly laughed.

“Hey, you.”

Harry chuckled at her sleepy greeting, grinning from ear to ear.  ”Hey, baby.  Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.  What’s up with the odd number?”

“I bribed one of the chefs into using his mobile,” he explained, lowering his voice as he looked around the pantry he was hiding in.  “I’m currently surrounded by hundreds of spices.  It’s almost like a Caro dream in here.“

“What?” She asked in confusion.

“I’m in the pantry.  It was the only hidden place that I wouldn’t get caught.”

“Wow.  They take the no phone calls rule pretty serious then?”

Harry groaned.  ”You have no idea how much I had to pay to even talk to you for a couple minutes.”

“Aw, you did that for me?”

“I did.  I believe that earns me brownie points, yeah?”

Anna grinned.  ”Definitely.  Just you wait until I get my hands on you.”

“Or,” he began, glancing at his watch.  “We could have a little go right now.“

“Harry!”

“What? I’ve earned it.  It’s Christmas…You’re lonely…You miss me,” he listed off.

“While all that is true,” Anna said with a laugh.  “One: you’re in a room with food.  I can’t even begin to tell you how unsanitary that is.  Two: you’re using someone’s phone.   Who now has my number on his recent calls history.  Three: you getting caught with your pants around your ankles and your hand going to town isn’t the best conversation at the dinner table.“

Harry pressed his lips together to muffle his laugh at her reasoning.  ”Whatever.  I guess you’re right.”

“When am I not?”

“Well-”

“You lose all brownie points if you answer that.”

“Ha! Yes, darling.  So how is your holiday? How are the weir- erm, Caros?”

“Nice save.  It’s been a good Christmas.  The family is doing okay.  I talked to Finn just before taking a nap.”

“Doing alright?”

Anna sighed, rolling onto her side and cradling her head in one hand.  ”Mhm, he says so. Actually, he wanted to wish you a merry Christmas.  So did the others.”

“Be sure to wish them one back for me.”

“Will do.  How is Christmas with your family?”

“Good.  Georgie was playing around with all the wrapping.  I basically enjoyed all his new toys more than he did.  Spoiled brat.”

Anna snortled.  ”Sounds familiar.”

“I resent that.”

“I stand by what I said.  And how is Zara?”

“Ready to pop.  Moody like I’ve never seen her before.  But she’s doing well, ready for the baby.  She..” He paused, not certain if he was pressing too much that it would cause a massive panic in her.  “She keeps pestering me about meeting you.  So does Kate and Bea and Genie.“

“Oh god.  What’d you say?”

“I distracted them with my charm, of course.  But they’re going to keep pestering me until the week’s over.  So I was hoping to discuss something with you.”

Anna took a sharp inhalation, bracing herself for what was coming, knowing she couldn’t avoid meeting them any longer. “Okay.”

“You know how you briefly mentioned a few weeks ago about hosting some sort of dinner for my return?”

“Mm.”

“Well, I’m going to be around more often since taking this new role in the army, aside for some major meetings about the Invictus Games.”

“Right.”

“So I was thinking we could schedule a night with everyone at my flat for a dinner party where I could officially introduce you.”

Anna gulped, her heart galloping in her chest at an abnormal rate.  ”Everyone?”

“Not like my grandparents or father, obviously.  But Kate, Wills, Zara and the like.”

“Oh.  Um.. Okay,” she agreed, quietly.  It was now or never, she thought.  Especially after the embarrassing meeting Harry had suffered through with her own family.  He deserved this.  She only prayed this meeting would go more smoothly than that one.

“Really??” Harry’s brows lifted, surprised by how easy that was.  A little too easy.

Anna cleared her throat, the anxiety bubbling inside her chest.  If she looked at her reflection right now, she would expect to see her skin pale as a ghost and her face to be panic stricken.  ”Yeah, really.  That..um.. That’d be lovely, I guess.”

“You guess?” Harry teased.

“Shut up, I’m about to shit myself right now.” Harry couldn’t stifle his reaction as he guffawed, his head thrown back and Anna huffed in mock annoyance.  “Don’t laugh at me.“

“I’m not, I’m not,” he lied, wiping the tears from his eyes.  “There’s nothing for you to worry about.  They’re great and they will adore you, peaches.“

Voices carried from the other side of the door, Harry instantly recognizing one of his gran’s chef assistants.  He listened closely to the French man calling out the dinner courses that were about to be prepared for the evening.  It was only a matter of time before they would open that door.  ”Fuck, I gotta go,” he cursed.

“You can’t leave me after dropping a bomb like that!” She cried, sitting up in bed as a million scenarios ran through her mind.

“Annalisa, I promise you it will be fine.  Enjoy the rest of the holiday.  I will see you Saturday morning.”

“Ugh, fine.  But you just lost some points.”

“I’ll win them back,” he grinned, confidently.  “I love you.  Be good.“

“I love you, too.”

All hopes for a couple more hours of shut eye before she would have to go to the hospital were lost.

How would they react to her? Would they be guarded, unsure if they could trust her? What would she cook for them? Oh, shit.  She couldn’t forget to ask Harry if there were any allergies to certain ingredients.  That would go over well.

She was going to kill him.

———-

“Look what I’ve goooot!” Maggie sang, holding up a bottle of white wine and holiday cupcakes.

“Ooh, give it!” Anna exclaimed, grabbing the pricey bottle and heading straight to the kitchen for the corkscrew.  The busy week was finally over and Anna had a chance to breathe as she anticipated the return of Harry the next morning.  She deserved the alcohol and treats.

Maggie snorted as she stepped inside the flat and swung the door shut, amused by her friend’s enthusiastic squeal at the pop of the bottle opening.  “I figured this week was shot to hell with the holidays that I decided to just say fuck it and eat whatever the bloody hell I want.”

“Cheers to that,” Anna said, walking over to Maggie and handing her a hefty glass of the wine.  They clinked their glasses together before making way to the living room, Maggie settling the cupcakes on the coffee table.

“But,” she began, giving Anna a stern look.  “Come 2nd January, we are back full on. There’ll only be two weeks left before the wedding and I refuse to look bloated.  I may even take part of this new liquid diet.”

Anna wrinkled her nose.  ”Count me out on that.  I need meat.”

“You mean,” Maggie wiggled her brows suggestively.  ”Red meat?”

“Oh my god,” Anna blushed.  “Maggie!“

“Ha! At least one of us is getting some.” She took a big gulp of the red liquid before reaching over for a chocolate cupcake that was decorated with green frosting, shoveling it whole in her mouth.  Anna studied her, peering over at her friend from the rim of her glass, amusement etched on her soft features as Maggie washed down the treat with more than half of her glass.  “What?” She questioned.

“Shall I get the bottle and bring it over here for easy access?” She asked with a cocked brow.

Maggie laid back on the sofa, kicking off her heels and tucking them underneath her.  She lifted her glass in a salute.  “Wise woman.  Bring another bottle if you have any.”

Anna tittered and raised herself up from her seat to fetch the drinks.

It wasn’t long before they had polished the expensive wine Maggie brought, causing the two women to fill the flat with infectious giggles as How The Grinch Stole Christmas played on the television.

Maggie quickly learned how more open Anna was to discussing sexual experiences after she had one too many drinks, something she would keep in mind whenever she needed Anna to loosen up.

“Ew.  What about when you’re asked ‘who’s your daddy?’” Anna asked, adding in her two cents on the discussion they were having on bedroom pet peeves.  “It just.. no.”

“Yes!” Maggie agreed, smacking her hand against the sofa cushion enthusiastically. “There was this one guy I had a summer fling with that threw that one around every time we were getting down and dirty.  I got so fed up with it that I actually shouted out ‘not you!’ during it.”

“No shit!”

“Oh, yes.  My only regret now is that I didn’t do it sooner because he never asked it again thereafter.” Anna howled with laughter, too tipsy to notice the white liquid sloshing dangerously in her glass.  “So wait,” Maggie started with a devilish grin.  “Is Harry a ‘who’s your daddy’ caveman?”

“Oh, no! God no.  But Chase was.  He was big on ‘do you like that?’ too.  Which, you know, I didn’t mind as much.  But it’s almost like ‘well, duh! You would know if I didn’t’ after the third time of being asked.” Maggie snorted and nodded in agreement.  “Speaking of which, have you ever faked it?”

“Psh, please.  I refuse to leave until I’m satisfied.  I don’t like to waste my time.  Why, have you faked it, Annalisa Caro?”

“I can honestly say I haven’t.  Chase was…good.  Harry is… amazing.” She giggled, feeling naughty for revealing such a private thought.

“Amazing, huh? Answer this truthfully.  Who’s better in bed? Harry or Chase?”

“Harry,” she answered immediately, not having to think about it for a second.

“Is he a biter?”

“Yep.  Especially when he’s about to…” She blushed at that, even after all of the other things she had revealed to Maggie that night.

“I’ve always wondered what he was like in the sack.” Anna threw an interested lift of her brow in her direction.  “What? It’s only natural to wonder.  I would never act on that. Although, I have pinched his nekkid butt before years ago.”

Anna choked on the sip of wine at the statement.  “You’ve seen his ass?!”

“Anna, the entire world has seen Harry’s flat arse.”

“Hey!” She exclaimed, waving a newly manicured finger at her.  “That’s my flat arse you’re talking about.”

They collapsed against the sofa in a fit of giggles.  “I wonder if his ears are burning right now.”

“Or if his penis is…” Maggie trailed off, flicking her finger upward into a straight line.

“Oh my god,” Anna’s face turned a deep flush and she covered her face with one hand, Maggie laughing at her reaction.

The buzzer disrupted the laughter, startling the two women.  “Are you expecting someone?”

“No,” Anna frowned, struggling to get on two solid feet from the excessive amount of alcohol she had consumed.  “Hello?” She called out into the security system.  Her frown deepened when there was no answer until she realized she had never pressed down on the ‘talk’ button.  “Oops.  Hello?” She tried again, softly laughing at herself.

“Special delivery for a Miss Caro.”

“Haaaarry!” She jumped up and down in place, clapping her hands like a child.

“Hi, love.  Have you had a few drinks tonight?” He asked, already knowing the answer.  He had experienced a tipsy Anna more times than people were aware of.

“Maybe.  Come up, gingerbread man.”

“What did you call me?”

“Erm..uh..love muffin?”

Harry’s laughter was heard through the security speakers.  ”Crazy drunk.”

After Dave swept the flat, giving a curt wave to the two giggling girls, Harry entered the apartment and shook his head in false disapproval at the two wine bottles he found on the table.  He pointed an accusing finger at Maggie, calling her a bad influence on his girlfriend before he threw the word lush around at the both of them.

“Shut it, Vegas, or I’ll pull up certain photos on my mobile.”

He stuck his tongue out childishly in reply.  ”Can I trust to leave you two alone while I grab a shower?”

“Suuuuure.  But hey, wait! I got a new joke for you.  How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?”

“How many?” He played along.

“Just Juan!”

“Oh, for fuck sake,” Harry laughed and dropped a kiss on Anna’s head, tightening his grasp on his overnight bag.

“Hurry back love muffin.  Anna wants to get _physical, physical_.. She wants to get _physical, physical_!” Harry rolled his eyes and turned in the direction of the bathroom, his hearing picking up on Maggie’s weak protests at Anna whacking a throw pillow at her.

While he was disappointed they weren’t alone, he was also happy to see Anna enjoy herself and that she was able to find a friend she was comfortable with in his circle.  He knew that they had grown close, but he wasn’t aware that they had random get togethers to drink wine and discuss whatever women discussed.

Men, he was sure.

The sounds of their giggles could be heard for the majority of the shower he took, Harry shaking his head and chuckling to himself at their expense.  He found himself humming the dreadful Olivia Newton John tune and cursed Maggie.  When he dried himself off and dressed in sweatpants and a plain tshirt, silence filled the apartment.  He had hoped it was because Maggie had called a cab and left them to catch up.  But when he strolled into the living room, he found both of them passed out on the sofa.

His early arrival plan was shot to hell.

Harry thought about leaving them be and heading off to bed, exhausted himself from the week’s activities and the busy schedule he was about to endure in the upcoming months. But he couldn’t turn away, longing to have a certain curly haired woman in his arms.

Grabbing the blanket that was hanging off the sofa, he covered Maggie and chortled when she let out an embarrassing snore before she turned over and snuggled into the blanket. Then he made way to Anna, scooping her up in his arms and once she was securely in his arms, he carried her to bed with him.

When he placed her carefully on the bed, she stirred awake and gave him an apologetic smile.  “I fell asleep,” she croaked.  He returned her smile and placed a kiss on the tip of her nose.

“You fell asleep.”

“Your presents,” she pouted, moving to sit upright.

He stopped her, guiding her to lay back on the mattress and proceeded to tuck the covers around her.  “In the morning.  Sleep off the alcohol, you lush.”

“No,” she whined, reaching for him.  He obliged and let her hug him close, burying his face in the crook of her neck with his two feet still planted firmly on the hardwood floors. He inhaled her scent, feeling the tug in his lower abdomen.  “I won’t go back to sleep until you’ve opened your presents.”

Harry puffed a breath against her neck before nipping her skin.  “Okay, fine, stubborn woman.  I’ll go get it if you promise to stay in this bed.”

“Promise.”

He returned shortly after, easily finding the wrapped presents with her instructions.  She was sitting upright, her back resting against the comfort of the pillows and her hands folded neatly on her lap.  Her lips rubbed together nervously as she watched him bring over the big box that was perfectly wrapped in snowflake wrapping paper with a miniature square box that laid right on top.

“I was a good boy this year by the looks of this.” He placed the presents on the bed beside her before jumping onto the mattress, kissing her cheek chastely.

“Open the big one first.” The look of pure excitement flashed in his eyes and she giggled at his tearing of the paper, disposing the crumpled pieces he threw at her.  Quickly tearing the box open, he gave her a long sideways grin.  “Go ahead,” she said, scooting closer to him so she could rest her chin on his shoulder to peer inside.

“Anna..” One by one, he laid each framed portrait on the bed in the order it was neatly stacked, creating a five piece black and white landscape of an African sunset with baobab trees and an elephant and two giraffes in the distance, appreciating the sun setting on another humid day.  “Wow..” He breathed, paying attention to the great detail the photographer that was behind the lens captured in such a tranquil moment in time.  “This is absolutely astonishing.”

“Breathtaking, isn’t it?” She softly commented, admiring the landscape.  “I went to Paul and Lily’s son’s show a few weeks ago and it drew me in right from the moment I saw it.  I knew I had to get it for you.”

He turned his head to kiss her lips in gratitude.  “You’re amazing.  Thank you, love.” His attention shifted back to the landscape as he laid his head on hers.  “I’m taking you here one day.”

“Yeah?” She smiled, swinging her arms around him to clasp together in front of his abdomen.  She hugged him close, squeezing him affectionately.

“Yep.  This is where I’m going to propose to you.” Her breath caught in her throat and her heart thumped at an increased rate, Harry holding back his snicker at the feel of it on his back.  “And then you’ll say yes and we’ll be promised to one another for eternity with the African sunset as a backdrop.”

“You’re that sure I’d agree to be with you for eternity? That sure is a long time, Wales.” She teased, swallowing back her surprise at his words.

“I am 100% sure.  You know why?” He asked, changing positions so he was facing her directly to take her face in his hands.

Anna brought her own hands up to finger the bracelets that always adorned his wrists. “Hm?”

“Simple.  Because you love me.” He firmly pressed his lips on hers, tasting the wine she had consumed earlier that night.

“I do,” she muffled against his mouth, the prickles from the little hairs around his lips creating the familiar spark Harry always seemed to ignite in her.  This was as far things were going to get that night, they both knew.  He was too exhausted and her mind still a little cloudy from the alcohol.  But that didn’t mean this display of pure affection for each other would be the last before sleep would come.

Harry pulled away first, dropping a kiss on the tip of her nose and melting her with a sexy wink.  He reached forward to grab the tiny box that awaited to be torn open and shook it carefully, pursing his lips and looking at her through the slits of his eyes at the clinking sound that came from inside.  “Are you beating me to the proposal?”

Anna giggled, blushing slightly.  “ _If you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it_.”

“Ha! Very cute.” Throwing the little amount of paper it took to cover the box over his shoulder, he eagerly lifted the top and peered inside, a wide grin spreading on his face and a gleeful laugh escaping him. “Oh, baby..” His finger looped through the ring of the heart shaped keychain and lifted it up in the air, turning it round and round to watch the key that once joined his others dangle in the space between them.

“You’ve got the key to my heart,” Anna said, wrinkling her nose at the corny expression.

“And to your flat so I can rummage your underwear drawer whenever I want,” Harry commented, smiling happily at her with shining eyes.

Anna laughed, expecting such a line from him after her cheesy gift.  “Abuse it and you lose it.”

———-

The rain outside began to come down hard against her bedroom windows as they laid together on their sides, facing each other and enjoying the quality time at the late hour. Years from now, when either one were asked what they missed most when apart, _this_ was what they always thought of. The quiet unrushed time where they could discuss their day, their thoughts, without feeling judged, without the hateful eyes of the world outside. Right here, with just the two of them, _this_ was all the world they needed.

Harry turned his head slightly to the left to kiss the center of her palm that had been busy stroking his face, her fingers occasionally scratching the ginger hairs that were in need of another trim.  “I got a strange call yesterday,” Anna said.

“From?” Harry asked, mouth still pressed to her hand.

“Mm, some french speaking chef, I think.  He was breathing heavily so I wasn’t able to fully underst-” She yelped, squirming at the feel of his tongue poking through his lips to lick the ticklish skin of her hand.

“Brat.”

She smiled, lacking energy to properly laugh.  “What if that really happened though? Some strange guy has my number logged into his phone.”

“Nope.  Took care of that before I handed it back to him, smartypants.”

Anna lifted a brow in question.  “Is that so? You suddenly know how to be technology savvy? Was there a course at Sandringham on mobiles I wasn’t aware of?”

“No, you pain in the arse,” he answered, tickling her side.  “I googled it.”

An airy chuckle came from her at his squinted stare in her direction.  She sighed in content, shifting to get closer to the warmth of his body and rested her tired eyes while pressing her forehead against his.  The feeling in her stomach that had been plaguing her all week returned for a split second.  She wanted to run away in her mind, push the feeling so far until she couldn’t feel it anymore, numbing herself in protection.  But she fought against it, hoping that voicing it to another person, someone she trusted, would ease the ache.

“Something’s wrong,” she whispered, feeling Harry tense.  She reached for his hand that was holding her waist and brought it up to her lips to kiss in reassurance she wasn’t speaking of their relationship.  “I’ve been feeling it ever since they were acting weird on Christmas Eve.”

“Your family?” He asked, confusion laced in his voice.  “What happened?” He squeezed her hand after she had explained to him the evidence behind the fear, recalling the several instances.  “Have you talked to anyone since then about it?”

“No, I’m too scared to.  I don’t know what to expect at this point.” She paused, shutting her eyes tight when Harry shifted and brought her closer to him, his fingers threading through her curls, massaging her scalp.  “I’ve been trying to ignore it all week as if acting like everything is okay would magically make it okay.  But every once in awhile.. I don’t know.”

“I think you should ask them what’s going on.  I know you’re afraid but not knowing is eating at you and that can’t be healthy.  And if by chance something is going on, you know that I’ll be here.  You can always count on me being here for you.. with you.”

“I know.  Thank you,” she sniffled, Harry’s heart aching at the sound.  He tilted his head to kiss her properly, Anna reciprocating instantly.  While he was thrilled she was opening up to him, sharing inner anxieties that she usually kept to herself, he was also terrified himself that she wasn’t overreacting.  But, regardless what was to come, he knew he would go to the ends of the world for her.

Backing away to place her head back on her own pillow, but still close enough to feel his breath on her face, she forced a smile.  “Told you my dad would end up warming up to the idea of us.”

Harry chuckled, stifling a yawn.  “I’m not so sure how he’ll feel about us again once you become my Duchess and then the media will be even more unstoppable.”

“I think that he just wanted to know for certain that you were serious and I was happy.”

“And are you happy?”

Her smile was genuine this time, reaching her amber eyes.  “I’m happy.”

“Good.”

“And are you happy, my Duke?”

He wrinkled his nose.  “My Duchess is much more appealing.. But, yes.. I’m happy when you’re happy.”

“You know what I’m really happy about?”

“That the ginger beard still lives?”

“Fuck, yes..” She tickled his chin before continuing.  “But I’m also happy that you liked your Christmas presents.”

“I love them.” Harry’s lips lifted up into a smile, thinking back to the portraits he couldn’t wait to hang up in his living area and the key that would complete his keyring.

“Really though,” he softly said, his thumb caressing her cheek as they tiredly gazed at each other.  “All I wanted was you.”

Anna smiled, scooting closer to place a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth.  “ _All I want for Christmas is you_.” She sang in a whisper, a chuckle escaping Harry before she silenced him with more loving kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)


	9. How The Year Ended

The rays of the rising sun roused Harry from a peaceful sleep the next morning, temporarily blinding him before he buried his face deeper into the dark curls, inhaling the peach scent that made his stomach flip flop as he used them as a curtain.  “Mmph,” he moaned, spooning the sleeping woman closer, securing her with his arm around her waist.

He had to get up, wanting to have enough time to gulp down some caffeine and a light breakfast before heading to a short meeting with his private secretary.  There was much to go over, his schedule jam packed with not only engagements and a top secret tour, but also with duties from the army and necessary meetings if he wanted the Invictus Games to begin at the expected time.  He hated early meetings, doing all he could to postpone them to enjoy a quiet morning before his chaotic life called his name; but he wanted to get it over with so he could spend the rest of the day with Anna before he would accompany her to a holiday dinner party that was being hosted by Lily and Paul.

He allowed himself a few minutes of laying there with her without any interruptions, thinking over how this would be the first holiday party they would attend as an official couple.  A part of him was nervous and he couldn’t pinpoint why.  Paul would be there, as it was his home too, and they were pretty familiar so he knew if worse came to worse, he would have another male to socialize with.  Maybe it was the nagging voice in his head that reminded him of other people’s reactions when they first met him outside of official engagements.  They either loved him and treated him like another ordinary bloke or remained stiff and only addressed him by his famous title.

He wished the ladder wouldn’t be the case.  Especially for Anna’s sake.

A puff of air released from him, unaware he had been holding his breath, as he thought of how nervous Anna must be feeling.  She was relatively a private person, never directly confirming or denying being a royal girlfriend to the hospital staff.  She didn’t want her personal life—even though it was plastered in the papers and news—to come in between the job she was meant to do there: to care for the children.

But that evening, she would be holding his hand as she introduced him as ‘her boyfriend’. It was a big deal for her…and for him.  And all he could do was hope for a smooth sailing evening.

“Harry,” she interrupted his thoughts, her voice sounding sleepy and slightly hungover.

“Yes, baby?” He asked, placing a kiss on the back of her head.

“My head hurts,” she complained, not once peeling her eyes open to the intrusive light that was filtering through her blinds.  It was already killing her pounding headache, nevermind if she were to look at it directly.

Harry chuckled.  “Lightweight.” He turned onto his back, letting out a long and loud yawn before throwing the covers off of him and dragging himself out of the warmth of the bed. “I’ll grab the paracetamol.”

“Wait..” Anna rolled onto her back, sticking out an arm to grab the back of his t-shirt and pulled him back.  She didn’t have to open her eyes to know he was looking at her with an amused grin, wishing she could wipe it off his face.  “You’re laughing at me.”

“I am not laughing at you.” He said, his betraying voice making Anna groan.  He placed his hands on either side of her head and leaned towards her.  “What do you need, love?”

Anna swung her arms around his neck, her forehead creasing as the pounding became more urgent.  “Morning kiss,” she mumbled, wincing when he shifted closer, allowing the sunlight to hit her closed lids.

Harry rubbed his nose against hers before placing a soft sweet kiss on her lips.  “Morning.”

She smiled through the pain, tilting her aching head to the side to kiss him more properly.  “Morning.”

After dropping a peck to her temple, he rose from the bed and tucked her under the covers.  “Don’t go anywhere,” he warned.

“Yes, captain.” Anna murmured, feeling herself drift back into oblivion.

Harry gazed at her for a short minute to make sure she was alright before making way into the hallway, his bare feet padding against the chilled hardwood flooring.  He passed the sofa where he caught a glimpse of a blanket completely covering a softly snoring Maggie.  He shook his head with a snort, already preparing himself for two sloshed women on New Years.

Reaching around the breakfast bar, he stretched his stiff muscles, rolling his shoulders back several times to loosen up and grabbed the paracetamol from the medicine cabinet. He quickly took two glasses from the cupboard and filled them with chilled water.

One cup along with two pills were set on the breakfast counter for his longtime friend while he shuffled back into the bedroom, finding his once again sleeping girlfriend.  The remedy was left on the nightstand, waiting for her to be well enough to consume them.

Returning to the kitchen, he began to fix a pot of coffee, pulling out three mugs from the cabinet.  His stomach rumbled and he remembered how he hadn’t had a proper supper the night before so he could travel back home.  Making way to the living area, he chuckled at the lump on the sofa that stirred with his presence.  Grabbing two leftover cupcakes, he popped one in his mouth and chewed loudly before juggling the other cake in one hand and picking up the two empty wine bottles from the previous night.  He brought them into the kitchen, the bottles creating harsh noise as they were carelessly placed on the marble counter.  Another howl of a yawn escaped him after he scarfed down the second cupcake, this time more drawn out as he scratched his still unsatisfied stomach.

“Ugh, quit all that racket!” Maggie grumbled, stumbling to plop herself down on the barstool, her hair imitating a birds nest as she pressed on her throbbing temples.

“Hello, sunshine.  Having a pleasant morning, are we?” Harry teased, chuckling at the glare he received.

“Sod off.” She downed the two pills she found, swallowing them dry.

“Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?”

“Bed,” she groaned.  “How I miss thee.“

Harry guffawed, enjoying the sight before him more than he thought he would.  He had seen his friend like this before, several times in fact, but the amusement of it never lessened.

“Brew’s almost done, alchy.”

“Meh.  Remind me to never drink on a cupcake stomach.”

“Can’t say I haven’t heard that one before.”

“Shut up,” she growled, pressing down on the pressure points to ease the ache in her head.

“You’re welcome for the pain reducer.. and for the blanket.”

“Whatever,” she muttered, her fingers running to fix her hair, wincing at the endless tangles from the restless night she spent on the sofa.

Her hair seemed to stick out more as she weakly tried to tame it.  ”Bahaha.  Where’s my camera? You’re fit for selfie of the year.”

“Oh my god.  What’s it going to take you to shut the fuck up?”

Harry shifted from foot to foot, his humorous grin falling slightly as he licked his lips and cleared his throat.  Anna would be up shortly and even though he had thanked Maggie before for her help, he felt she needed to hear it again.  ”Real talk for a minute.”

“Harry,” she whined.  “I can’t handle any talk right now.  My head feels like a shitload of bricks.“

“Tough luck.  I gotta get this out before sleeping beauty awakens.”

Maggie sighed, taking a hefty gulp of the black liquid.  ”I miss someone calling me sleeping beauty.”

Harry snorted.  ” _Beauty_ isn’t quite the word I would use to describe the way you look right about now.”

Maggie’s eyes warned him with a murderous stare.  ”I will jam my shoe so far up your-“

“Alright! Relax.  You seriously need a good fucking.  Good god.”

She batted her lashes.  ”Can’t you hook me up with one of your army mates?”

Harry shook his head with his palms out in front of his chest.  ” _No_ , no way.”

“Come on, wanker!”

“The answer is no, Mags.”

“And why the bloody hell not?”

“Because,” Harry began, speaking slowly as if he were teaching a child how to talk.  “You..are..fucking..mad.“

“What?!”

“Do you remember what happened the last time I set you up with one of the lads? You threatened to fucking castrate him! Chop his bloody balls off.   _Literally_!”

“He was _married_!” She cried.  ”Which I still blame you for that disaster.”

“Technically, they were legally separated.” Harry defended.  “How was I to know he got back with his wife after a few dates with you? Guys don’t talk like you girls do.“

“Oh, really? What do guys talk about then?” Harry gave her a ‘duh’ look and Maggie sniggered.  “Typical.“

He shrugged without a trace of regret.  ”Anyway.  I wanted to thank you.”

“For..?”

“Looking after Anna while I’ve been gone.  For befriending her like you have.  Kicking her stubborn arse when needed.”

“Harry,” Maggie started.  “She’s a strong woman.  She can handle herself.“

He nodded in agreement.  ”I know but regardless, she’s been through some heavy shit and..you’ve put in a good word for me while we were..” He waved his hand as he trailed off.  ”Just..thank you for being one of the few people Anna and I can trust.”

“Of course,” she smiled.

“Do I smell coffee?” Anna’s sleepy voice halted the serious conversation as she padded into the room, covering her yawn.  Her hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail and her glasses were perched up on her nose instead of having her usual contacts in.

“There she is!” Harry cheerfully said, immediately fixing her a cup of the strong brew.  “How are you feeling, love?“

Anna leaned over the counter to peck his lips while accepting the mug.  ”One sec,” she said before taking a long sip and sighing in content.  ”Better.”

Maggie outstretched her hand that held her now empty mug, gesturing for Harry to give her a refill to which he obliged.  ”I’ll need another cup before I can utter that word.”

Anna smiled at her friend, wrapping her arm around her shoulder to give her a cuddle.  ”We had fun, though.”

“Ha!” Maggie laughed, recalling some of the confessions that were spoken in confidence.  “We sure did!“ Their mugs clinked together and they slightly winced at the sound of ceramic clashing.

“Do I even want to know what you two talked about?” Harry asked, his brows raised as he finished off his cup.  “Damn, I make a good brew.”

“Oh yeah?” Maggie started, a hint of a devious smirk forming on her lips.  “Would you say _you like that_ , Hazz?”

Coffee spouted out of Anna’s mouth from the meaning behind Maggie’s question, certainly not expecting it.  Harry looked on confused as the two girls giggled uncontrollably, hanging on to each other for support as the laughter racked their bodies.

“Still pissed drunk,” he muttered to himself.  “What on earth happened last night?”

“Nothing!” They blurted out simultaneously.

————

“Oh, look at you two!” Lily gushed, hugging Harry and Anna once Dave gave the usual curt nod to them both as he passed them to make his way back to the heated car.  “So good to see you, Harry.“

“Always a pleasure, darling,” Harry smiled, kissing her hand.

Lily giggled and swatted his arm, winking at Anna who was rolling her eyes.  ”Charming, isn’t he?”

“Sure,” Anna joked, smiling sweetly at Harry’s sour expression at her sarcasm.

“Paul!” Lily called behind her.  “Come here!“

“What is it?” Paul asked as he strolled into the room.  Upon seeing the two new guests, a grin spread on his face.  “Good evening,“ he greeted them, kissing each of Anna’s rosy cheeks from the chilled night and clapping a hand on Harry’s shoulder while his other hand shook his.  “Thanks for coming.”

“Thank you for inviting us,” Anna said.

“Come, come.  The ham is still in the oven for another twenty minutes.  Let’s grab a drink.” Lily ushered them into the spacious but cozy sitting room.

Anna felt the slight panic rise in her throat when several pairs of eyes turned in their direction, recognizing the other nurses she frequently saw roaming the same halls she did.  Harry must have felt her tense up because he squeezed her hand that clutched tightly to his, causing her to loosen her grip.

“Happy Christmas!” Came the warm greeting from the other guests.

She swallowed before a kind smile graced her features.  “Merry Christmas everybody.” They all came up towards the pair to get the proper introductions.

“You look lovely, Anna” Julia complimented, kissing each of her cheeks.

“Thank you.. You do, too.  Love the color on you,” she said, gesturing towards the violet dress the older woman wore.

“Thank you, dear.  And this handsome man right here.. Pleasure to meet you, Your Royal Highness.” She gave a small curtsy, causing Anna’s cheeks to blaze.  Harry shifted uncomfortably, his palms beginning to sweat as his left still clung to Anna’s.

“Please, you don’t have to do that.  I’m Anna’s boyfriend, Harry.  I think it would be less awkward if you just called me by that,” he smiled politely.

“Oh,” Julia blushed.  ”My apologies, Anna’s boyfriend, Harry.”

It was just the cheesy joke the group needed as they laughed off their nerves and shook Harry’s hand, like he was the next average guy.

The rest of the evening went surprisingly well.  Anna had already witnessed how easy going Harry was with other people he had just met, and this time wasn’t any different.  He cracked jokes, remained charming as ever, and bonded with the other guys like he had known them forever.

Sipping on her third glass of wine of the evening, Anna gazed into the burning fire by the Christmas tree after the rest of the party goers had left for the evening, showering her with hugs and kisses and whispering in her ear how they adored him.  She had tried to assist Lily with cleaning up, clearing the table with her while Harry and Paul went off to look over some sort of collection of Paul’s that she couldn’t remember.  But Lily ushered her into the sitting room with a freshly poured glass while she finished up with loading up the dishwasher.

Between the wine and the beautiful glow of the fireplace with the white lights of the tree, Anna felt warm and fuzzy.  It was a lovely evening filled with laughter and good fun.  She had her man by her side, the approving smiles from the people she saw for endless hours at work, and she didn’t feel an ounce of sadness.

She was happy.

“What are you smiling about?” Lily asked, sitting beside her with her own filled glass of the sweet wine.

Anna turned towards her friend and her infectious smile grew in size, Lily mirroring it.  ”This was wonderful.  I had a great time, Lily.”

Lily motherly patted Anna’s knee.  ”Me too, dear.  I’m glad you were able to come.” She leaned closer to her to drop her tone by a couple octaves.  ”Harry is a remarkable man.  He’s absolutely perfect for you, love.”

Anna wrinkled her nose, feeling slightly uncomfortable.  She was closest to her fellow nurse out of all the others but she didn’t reveal much to her, protecting her privacy.  ”You think so?”

“I know so,” she winked.  “He got on well with everyone.  I think he made them feel more comfortable and less awkward about a royal being in attendance.“

Anna snorted.  ”Like you said earlier, he’s quite the charmer.  He gets along with everyone who doesn’t have the vicious lens of a camera behind their eye.”

“Yes, well, who can blame him for that? After what happened to his mother…it’s a wonder how he even gives out interviews.”

A strong urge to hug him close coursed through her.  She didn’t know if it was the mention of Harry’s mother or if it was because she felt so much love and affection for him that hearing another praise him made her proud of him.  Maybe it was a combination of both.

“I’ve never seen you this happy before.  It’s…amazing to witness.”

Anna couldn’t wipe the smile off her face.  ”He makes me happy.  I mean, he can drive me up the wall sometimes but..”

“Oh, honey,” Lily laughed.  “That’s because he’s a man.  They all drive us up a wall.“

“What’s going on in here? Bad mouthing the guys, are we?” Paul’s booming voice rang out in the room, both women turning around in the direction of where Paul and Harry stood tall.  Anna looked Harry over, biting her lip at his stance with his hands planted firmly on his hips and his brows lifted.

“It’s not bad mouthing when it’s the truth, my love,” Lily said, nudging Anna.  But Anna was in a trance as she continued to drool over her man.

He was so handsome in his white shirt and black trousers.  She had watched him hours before trimming his beard, finding it extremely arousing.  It had caused them to be almost late to the dinner party.

“Well,” Harry said, recognizing the look of want and love in her flashing eyes and big smile that showed off her straight teeth.  “Is that true, Annalisa?“

Her gaze fell to his lips when he said her name, making it sound sweet like honey in his deep voice.  ”Hm?” She managed to get out.

“Are you talking rubbish about us?”

The married couple looked at each other, knowing the chemistry between their guests were undeniable from experiencing it themselves.  Paul winked at his wife and she grinned excitedly at him.  She couldn’t want to be alone to tell him she was right about Harry and Annalisa since day one.

“Um..what?” Anna asked, confused.

Harry shook his head and chuckled, strolling over to pluck the glass from her two hands.  ”You’re cut off.  Lily, I thought I could trust you not to get her sloshed.”

Lily giggled and shrugged her shoulders innocently.  ”Whatever do you mean?”

“You’ll know exactly what I mean when you have to see me carry curly to the car.”

Anna pouted while the three laughed.  ”I can walk perfectly fine, thank you.”

Harry cocked his head to the side, a hint of laughter still present in his voice.  ”We’ll see about that, love.”

Another hour passed of quiet chitchat between the two couples, the girls on one sofa and the guys across from them on the other.  Paul and Harry retold stories of the trek, choosing to only mention the comical stories to not damper the good mood of the night.

Harry caught Anna’s loving eyes every few minutes and felt his heart rate increase every time.  
———-

The three days leading up to New Years Eve went by quick, Harry and Annalisa spending every waking moment together aside from Anna’s shifts at the hospital.  They were blissfully happy as they participated in the most domestic chores.

On Sunday afternoon, Anna taught Harry how to make chicken chickpea chili and nursed his burns from the splattered sauce when he set the heat on the stove too high.  She laughed at his interested expression when she walked into the kitchen after finishing up a call with her mother (a daily ritual since Christmas that she found odd) as he stared at the boiling pot of chili.

“That’s not going to make the fifteen minutes speed up, babe,” she said, tapping his jean clad ass.

“I don’t want it to overspill,” he replied, focused eyes never straying.

“My nana always said if there’s a spotless stove with a boiling pot of chili, then you didn’t make it with the right amount of love.”

“Mmhmm..” He said, absentmindedly.  Anna chuckled and shook her head at him clearly ignoring her.

Sunday night found Harry overindulging in the tasty chili as she worked her shift.  He managed to find a few containers that he used to pour the supper into and take over to his brother and sister-in-law’s to prove his cooking skills were getting better.  Harry waited impatiently as they took spoonfuls, Kate immediately praising him as Will threw out a couple insults before admitting it was better than he thought it would be.  That only resulted in them advancing the plans of Harry and Anna hosting a get together dinner to finally be introduced.

On Monday morning, Anna returned home to find Harry slaving at the stove as he prepared omelets.  She covered her mouth to stifle a giggle when Harry cursed and shook his hand to ease yet another burn he managed to get.

“Oh boy, you attempting to make breakfast alone in my apartment worries me.”

He turned sharply towards her and greeted her with a cheeky grin, his rosy cheeks deepening in slight embarrassment.  “Morning,” he said, puckering his lips.  Anna laughed and skipped towards him, her aching feet forgotten at the sight of him, before she pecked his lips repeatedly.

“Good morning to you, Chef Wales.  What’s on the menu?” She asked and peeked around him to see the oddly shaped egg omelet from his lack of flipping skills.  “Wow, an omelet.”

“Or a somewhat attempted omelet,” Harry said, sheepishly.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and reached up on her tiptoes to place more sweet kisses on his lips.  “I’m sure it’ll be great.  But I would probably flip it again cause it’s starting to smell like burning eggs in here.”

“Shit!” Harry quickly unwrapped himself from her embrace and attended to breakfast, a sour look on his face replacing the happy grin when he noticed the slight brown edges.  He flipped it over slowly and sighed in relief when it didn’t mess up any further.  “How was work?”

“Fine,” she answered.  “How was your evening? Missed me tremendously, I hope.”

“Always,” he chuckled, throwing a wink over his shoulder.  “I went over to Wills and Kate’s last night.  Chili was a hit, by the way.”

“Yes!” She exclaimed, holding up her palm as he slapped her a high five, Harry’s proud grin present on his face.

“We got to talking and made a few calls and decided Friday would be the big dinner where I introduce you to them.”

“What?! Harry!” She cried, panic coursing through her as her breathing became shallow.  “Shit, shit, shit.  That’s not enough time to plan!”

“What? Anna,” he laughed as she started pulling open drawers, slapping down cookbook after cookbook on the counter.  “What the bloody hell are you doing?”

“Trying to find something decent to make for your family! Oh god,” she buried her flaming face in her trembling hands.  “I’m going to fail.  They’re going to hate me.  Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Harry snickered, turning the stove off and gathering her hands to reveal her worry.  His laughter melted as soon as he saw her frantic eyes, darting between his.  “Baby.. just calm down.  Please,” he begged.  “You have nothing to be this frightened about.  They already adore you by how incredibly happy you make me.”

“What if they’re allergic to nuts and I add fucking walnuts to the gravy like a moron? Or what if they don’t like gravy? _What do I serve if they don’t like gravy, Harry_?!”

Harry paused for a moment, reeling from her sputtering.  Then he threw his head back and howled in laughter.  Anna swatted his chest relentlessly, scowling at him.

“This isn’t funny! Stop laughing, you git.”

But her angry words only made his laughter increase in volume, his face turning a beet red from the lack of oxygen.

“Harry!” She yelled.  “Stop!”

“I..I c-ca-n’t!” He forced out, his laughs never letting up.  Anna crossed her arms across her heaving chest, tapping her foot as she waited for him to calm down.  After a couple minutes, Harry’s boisterous laughs turned into soft sniggers here and there as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve.  He grinned apologetically at Anna and brought his hands up to cup her cheeks.  “I’m sorry, love.  But.. holy shit, I’ve never seen you that panicked before.  Oh god, that was comical.”

She glared at him through slitted eyes, still allowing him to turn her head up to brush his lips against hers.  She reciprocated, of course, and Harry knew she wasn’t as angry as she let on.  His thumbs softly stroked her rounded cheeks as their lips meshed together.  He elicited a moan to escape her when his teeth captured her lower lip in his mouth and sucked playfully.

Anna’s arms fell limp at her sides, stubbornly refusing to touch him no matter how much her hands itched to feel his hard chest.  Her mouth was less stubborn than the rest of her, slanting over his again and again as if it had a mind of it’s own.

He was good.  He was damn good.  This display of affection was surely enough to erase the panic from her mind, to give her a few moments of peace and pause the jumbled thoughts that were swarming since his announcement.

After a couple minutes of sucking face in her kitchen, her mini freak out replayed in her own mind and before she knew what was happening, she tore her lips from his and laughed breathlessly at her own silliness.

“What?” Harry lightly laughed along, trying to catch his breath.

“Nuts! I..” She hunched over, hanging onto his arms as her laughs came out louder.  “I was freaking out about nuts in gravy!”

They both erupted into laughter together, breakfast and the pending nerve wracking dinner party forgotten.

——-

Why Harry didn’t see this coming, he didn’t know.  But he was kicking himself in the arse for not putting up much of a fight when she dragged him to the grocery store to pick up the ingredients she would need for Friday’s dinner.  He tried to convince her to put it off until later on in the week, listing off other things they could be doing than spending the rest of their Monday afternoon going through aisle after aisle, one of them being her sleeping to be fresh for work later.  But Anna shot that down with her usual ‘I’m fine on no sleep’ excuse he heard too often before she would crash on his or her sofa for a couple hours.

Anna scratched off ‘walnuts’ from the list, snickering to herself from the earlier fiasco.  “Okay, we’re about halfway finished.”

Harry groaned, folded at the waist with his elbows on the hand rest of the cart.  She patted his back in mock comfort before he stood up straight and pushed the cart along after her.  She kept a secure hand on the end of the cart after Harry had kept it rolling whenever she came to an abrupt stop, hitting her bottom hard enough that she was certain she was bruised.

“This is a form of torture,” he complained under his breath.

“Poor baby,” she teased in a baby voice.  “Are you not having fun?”

“No,” he grumbled.  “And I’m fucking starving.”

“I’ll treat you to lunch if you’re a good boy and suffer in silence.”

“Treat me to lunch?” He quoted.  “I don’t think so.”

“What?” She asked, looking over in his direction.  “I can’t treat my boyfriend to lunch?”

“No.  I’m the man and I’m treating my woman to lunch.”

With her head cocked to the side, she stared at him with lifted brows and mouth gaped open.  “What are you trying to say with ‘I’m the man’ and ‘my woman’?”

He shrugged, selecting his next words wisely to rile her up.  “It’s a man’s world, Anna.  I didn’t make up the rules.”

“You sexist pig!” Her face contorted in disgust at his choice of words.  ”Dave,” she turned towards the PO who was checking out the nutritional facts on the back of a package.  ”Tell Harry he’s a pig.”

“You’re a pig, sir.” He parroted, accustomed to their banter.  With any other royal, he would’ve kept to himself and minded his own business.  But working with Harry for years now, they had formed a bond where he was comfortable enough to take jabs at him.  And he had learned taking Anna’s side during their constant bickering was the safe route.

Harry smirked in reply, taking advantage of her hand no longer holding the cart at a safe distance and pushing it forward to tap her.  “Oink oink.”

Three hours later, his kitchen was fully stocked with things he didn’t know existed, his stomach was satisfied with lunch (that she convinced him to let her pay for by threatening to withhold sex), and his sofa was occupied with the stubborn sleeping woman.

Her feet were propped on his lap while he multitasked, answering the endless amount of emails in his inbox and texting with Will back and forth about New Years plans and Georgie’s new tooth that was breaking through the gums, keeping both mum and dad up during ungodly hours.

Anna watched him work silently, unbeknownst to him.  She loved the way his brows furrowed in concentration as his eyes smoothly ran across the screen, reading each sentence three times before moving on.  He had a habit of licking and rubbing his lips and mouthing a word or two.

And when he would glance at his mobile, typing out a quick reply with a smirk, he looked so boyish and manly at the same time.

She found him adorable.

Harry must’ve felt eyes on him because he turned his head towards her and wasn’t in the slightest startled to see her smiling face.

“Hey, sleepyhead.  How long have you been awake?”

“Not long,” she said, clearing her still groggy throat.  “What are you doing over there?“

He turned his attention back to the computer screen for a second before looking back at her.  ”Working,” he sighed heavily.

A tired laugh tore from her mouth.  ”It’s a hard knock life.”

“I’ll say..” He teased right back, reaching for his buzzing mobile.  He snorted when he read his brothers text.

_You’re sick. I don’t need to hear about your weird sex games dickhead._

“Is that Skip trying to persuade you in playing Farm Palace again?” Anna asked, yawning.

“Not this time.  I think he gave up the fight after Mags caved and replied to his request,” he answered, his thumbs typing out a message to Will at an expert speed.  “It’s Will.  He asked about dinner on Friday and I made a joke about not using walnuts and gravy in the same sentence with you and he took it as a sex thing.“

“Harry!” She shrieked, kicking him and rubbing her face with her hands in exasperation.  “Great.  Now I really won’t be able to look him in the eye.  Ugh!“

Harry laughed, moving his laptop to the empty cushion beside him before squeezing her thigh reassuringly.  ”Don’t sweat it, love.  It’s all in good fun.”

“Right.” Anna cocked a brow.  “Don’t fucking sweat it if I happen to make a joke that could be taken the wrong way the next time I talk to Luke.“

The grin immediately wiped off of Harry’s face, his cheeks no longer pink as his skin paled.

“Touché.”

————-

“Have I told you how stunning you look tonight?”

Anna beamed up at him, squeezing the arm that hers was currently curled around as they walked up to the door.  The party was already going strong, music blaring and flashing lights could be seen through the windows.

“Maybe once or twice since you picked me up.”

Harry frowned.  ”Just once or twice? Shame on me.  You deserve more than that.”

Anna giggled, laying her head on his arm for a moment.  ”You’re making me blush.”

“You look incredible, peaches.  Everyone will be envious of me tonight.”

“You’re looking spiffy yourself.  I may just have to spit on all the women that get too grabby.”

Harry chortled, reaching for the doorknob to join the party.  ”Wouldn’t mind if a dark haired beauty got a little grabby tonight,” he winked.

“I’ll let Jake know,” she cheekily replied.

Harry’s loud laugh as they pushed through the door was drowned out quickly by the intense vibration of the bass of the music.  He grasped her hand tightly before pushing through the crowd, using his free hand to wave at people she didn’t know along the way.

It wasn’t long before they reached the section of the house where all the familiar faces were.  They were greeted by cheers, champagne flutes high in the air, before getting crushed into big hugs.

“Thought you’d never make it in time!” Liv said as she dropped a kiss on each of Anna’s cheeks.

“I’m so sorry! I had to switch my hours and work until 6 tonight so I could be here,” Anna explained.

“Glad to see you,” Kimberly, Jake’s fiancée, smiled, hugging and kissing her the same.

“You, too! Big year coming up for you.”

“Yep!” She grinned, linking arms with Jake.  “Eleven more days before I make an honest man out of him.“

“Amazing how the church will even allow you to show up in white,” Harry joked.

“Amazing how the church never bursts into flames whenever you step foot in one,” Kimberly retorted.

“Ohhhhh! Burn!” The group exclaimed as Harry pulled a face of defeat.

“When are you two going to tie the knot?” Beth asked, giggling at Anna’s bugged out eyes.  She was thankful she didn’t have a drink yet or they would have gotten showered with it.

Harry threw his arm around Anna’s shoulder and gave her an affectionate squeeze.  ”Soon, I hope.”

“Whoa there, soldier.  Soon? Are you proposing tonight?”

Anna didn’t have a clue who had asked that, the blood rushing in her ears being the cause of that.  She wanted to marry Harry, of course she did.  But they weren’t ready yet.  They needed more time before they would even discuss a timeframe for an engagement.

“No, not tonight,” Harry confirmed, Anna’s heartbeat returning to a normal steady pace.

“Hurry up before she runs off again,” Skip joked, getting a glare from Anna and Maggie as the rest of the gang rolled their eyes and groaned, Harry telling his friend to ‘shut the fuck up’.

“Har har,” Anna said in a dry tone.

“What? It was just a joke,” Skip defended.

“Who needs a drink?” Jake asked to change the subject, nodding at Anna’s grateful eyes.

Harry looked at Anna apologetically but the unaffected look in her soft features made him relax.  ”Something to drink, beautiful?”

She nodded, a blush creeping on her cheeks as the girls awww’d at his choice of words.  ”I’ll have a glass of champagne, please.”

He ducked his head to kiss her lips before removing himself from her.  ”Be right back.” He roughly clapped Skip by the shoulders and ignored his protests, the rest of the guys following suit.

Just as they were out of earshot, the girls became antsy and were ready to hit the dance floor.

“Let’s dance!” Maggie exclaimed, grabbing Anna’s arm.

Anna laughed and shook her head.  ”Oh, no.  I think I need a drink before I start dancing.”

“Come on,” Liv pouted.  “It’ll be fun!“

“Not yet.  Go dance.  I’ll catch up with you after I’ve had this one drink.”

A few minutes later, Harry returned solo.

“Champagne for milady..” He announced in an official tone, handing Anna a full flute of the pink bubbly drink.

She voiced her thanks and took a small sip, inwardly moaning at the sweet taste that seemed to explode on her tastebuds.  It was then that she noticed the capped bottle of water he held in his other hand.  With furrowed brows, she gestured towards it.

“You’re not drinking tonight?”

Harry threw the bottle up and caught it expertly.  “This?” The corner of his lips twitched in reply before lifting up into a seductive smirk.  “This is for you.”

“What do you mean?” She asked in confusion.

“You’ll be on the floor in a matter of three more drinks… I want you sober later so with every drink from here on out, you are to down half a bottle of water along with it.”

She caught the mischief twinkle in his eye before they darkened with desire, creating heart palpitations.  “You want me sober, hm? Why’s that?”

He shifted closer to her, his tall frame hovering over her small frame and ducked his head, his nose sweeping her curls to the side to reveal the shell of her ear.  “Because I want to make love to you to start off the new year.” His husky voice was enough to buckle her knees.  But his reflexes were quick enough to catch her when she stumbled, his arm securely around her waist to keep her upright.  “Is that alright with you, love?” He asked, capturing her earlobe between his teeth and giving it a light tug.

“Harry..” She moaned, forgetting the surrounding company.

But the sound of footsteps stomping towards them made Harry sigh and pull away, only to witness to Skip and Maggie continuing their disagreement.

“Skip! I’m not going to kiss you at midnight! _Please_ , leave me be.”

“Come on, Mags.  I’m alone, you’re alone.. It’s perfect! We are the only two people here that don’t have anyone to suck face with.”

“Whoa,” Maggie stuck her hand out in a halting gesture.  “Suck face? I won’t agree to kiss you and now you’re thinking I would ever kiss you with _tongue_? Boy, keep fucking dreaming.”

“Don’t act like you’re not tempted,” he argued.

Maggie scowled before facing away from him to look at Anna, grabbing her arm.  ”Please dance with me before I give his bollocks something to cry about.”

Anna gulped down the rest of the champagne before taking two long sips of the water, eyeing Harry as he smirked, adjusting his tight trousers in the crotch area.

She handed the two drinks to him, mouthing her apologies before being whisked away by their eager friend.

Harry and Skip stood side by side as they watched the two girls begin to dance to an upbeat song.  Harry paid close attention to the way Anna’s hips rotated in a suggestive manner as she giggled with Maggie.

“I need whiskey.” Harry groaned, feeling his trousers getting tighter and tighter at the sight of her.

“I’m with you on that, mate.”

——-

After polishing two tumblers of the amber liquid, Harry found Anna still dancing with Maggie.  He had tried to keep his distance so she could enjoy herself and have the other party goers get to know her without him on her arm, but after having a chat with a few people he hadn’t seen in awhile, he was beginning to miss her warmth.

Anna was about to screech when she felt two strong hands grab hold of her waist until she caught whiff of his cologne.  She smiled at Maggie’s suggestive wink and poor excuse for getting herself a drink before she left the couple alone.

“Sorry, I have a boyfriend,” Anna called out over the music, her hips never stopping the rhythmically sway to the music.

“Lucky guy,” Harry replied, twirling her around to face him.  She instantly swung her arms up around his neck and shifted closer, their bodies gyrating on their own accord.

“I think so,” Anna said, seductively.  She began to grind against him, the heat that was already between them to radiate further as the slick sweat began to glide down their skin.

Almost every part of them were touching, his hands making home dangerously low right above her ass as they moved in sync.  Their breaths were ragged, Harry panting on her flushed face.

It had been just two days since they were connected in every sense of the word.  Two days.  But to them, it felt like an eternity.

Desperate desire pulsed through them, needing more than just a dance.  Harry was contemplating on formulating a plan on getting her alone somewhere in the crowded house for some relief, knowing Anna would at first decline before he would easily persuade her to follow him.

Just as he was going to let her in on his plan, he felt a hard clap on his shoulder, startling the pair that clung to each other to pull apart as Harry whipped around to find a jittery Tom.

“Sorry to interrupt, mate.  There’s someone asking for you.” Tom peeked over at Anna and his nervous grin turned into a kind smile.  “Anna, Liv said she wants to discuss your attire for Jake’s nuptials.  She’s by the refreshments table.“

“Oh,” Anna said, perplexed by what was going on.  She could sense something was not quite right by the way Tom was separating them, especially with the equally confused expression on her boyfriend’s heated face as he wiped away the beads of sweat that formed below his hairline.

“Come with me, Harry.”

Harry and Anna shared a questioning look, Harry shrugging at her before he dropped a chaste kiss on her peach colored lips.  ”I’ll be back, baby.”

“O..kay.”

She watched their retreating forms for a few seconds, waiting until they got lost in the sea of people.  Once she couldn’t determine who was who, she turned in the opposite direction with shaky legs and began her mission on finding Liv.

———-

Anna caught the blue blazer in the corner of her eye and turned her head in the direction of it, watching Harry’s retreating form walk up the stairs.  He had been gone for twenty-eight minutes now, Anna checking her watch every few minutes as she waited for his return.  She absentmindedly nodded to whatever Liv was yapping about, not having the slightest clue anymore.

A wicked laugh hid behind her pleasant smile, formulating up a plan to get Harry alone.  He smelled so good tonight, his musky scent still lingering in the air, and it was driving her absolute mad with desire ever since he whispered his promise of pleasuring her after the party.

_60…59…58…57…_

She began counting down a minute, thinking it was enough time for Harry to do what he needed to do before she would barge in and have her way with him.  She couldn’t wait to sneak her hands underneath his light blue collared shirt and feel the heat of his bare skin on her fingertips.

“Anna.. Anna..”

She heard her name being called but it sounded distant, like it was floating through the breeze on a windy day.

“Earth to Anna!” Liv exclaimed, waving her hand in front of the dazed brunette.  Anna blinked and turned her attention back to her friend, smiling apologetically.

“Sorry, I-erm.. need to use the loo for a minute..”

Climbing the steps at a calculated pace, her heart raced at what she was about to do, glancing down below at the bustling party that was going on.  Once when she reached the bathroom, she took a calming breath to gather up the courage she needed to knock on the door firmly.

“Just a minute!” Came his voice from behind the door.

Anna swallowed before bringing her face close enough to the door where she knew he could hear her, especially since she was able to pick up on the running water as he was finishing up.  ”Hey, it’s me.”

The water stopped immediately and a few seconds later the latch made a hard unlock sound that echoed in her ears.  She pushed the door open after turning the knob and smiled at the concerned (and guilty) expression that his features held, his forehead creased.

“Everything okay?”

Anna didn’t reply.  She didn’t have to; not when she quietly shut the door behind her and turned the lock, her heated gaze never once straying from his.  A slow grin spread on his face as he took a step toward her, his arms instinctively threading through hers and clasping behind the small of her back.

“Are you looking for a quickie?”

Anna bit her lip, wetness pooling between her thighs at his closeness, his body heat radiating off of him as if he was feverish.

And he was.  He never had known to desire a woman so strongly before her.

“I missed you,” she declared.

Her hands smoothed up his shirt and slid off his blazer as it dropped to the floor.  His tongue poked out, sliding across his lower lip, admiring the way she was seducing him when he had been trying to do the same not long ago.  He swallowed, pushing the thought of where he had just come from away so their night wouldn’t be ruined.  ”You do want a quickie.”

Anna shrugged, batting her eyelashes at him before she began to undo the buttons of his collared shirt, desperate to touch his pale skin.

“I figured since you want to begin 2014 by making love to me..” She trailed, removing his shirt completely to begin undoing his trousers.  “Might as well end 2013 with a..“ Reaching up on her tiptoes, she brought her chest flush against his heaving one and wetly kissed his stubble chin while her hand slipped inside his trousers and boxers.  “Bang.”

Harry moaned, unclasping his hands to palm her bottom, squeezing her flesh.  ”Fuck, I love you.”

——

“Where the fuck have you two been?!”

Harry and Anna exchanged guilty smiles as they approached their group of friends.  It was nearly midnight, sixty seconds left of the year before the new one would begin.

“We…umm..we were..erm..” She stumbled for an excuse.

“Nevermind that! There’s only 45 seconds left!”

Everyone’s eyes were fixated on the massive screen that was set up with the countdown to the new year before they would all shout and confetti would float all around them.  Harry cradled Anna’s elbow to catch her attention and smiled excitedly when her sparkling eyes met his.

They were both hopeful for what 2014 would bring, finally feeling their relationship was headed in the right direction.  It had gone through the ringer, faced with Anna’s inner demons.  But they came out stronger and unstoppable.

They were both confident nothing would stand in between them now.  Absolutely nothing.

“I love you,” he said.  She could barely hear it, relying on her lip reading abilities.  But she knew exactly what he said by the fluttering butterflies that were in her stomach.

With an arm wrapped around his waist, she smiled brightly at him, becoming overwhelmed with emotion.  ”I love you.”

“No, Annalisa.  I _really_ love you.”

_Twenty-five seconds._

“I know,” she laughed lightly.  “I _really_ love you, too.”

He brought his hand up to cup her cheek, his strong gaze never faltering from hers.  ”This year and every year here on out I promise to always be there, through _everything_.”

Anna covered his hand that was fixated on the side of her blushing cheek with her own, getting hypnotized by the crystal blue of his enticing eyes.

“And,” he took a deep breath.  “I’m going to make sure you know just how much I love you.  You mean the world to me and I will defend you, honor you, _worship_ you like you deserve to be.”

_Ten seconds._

“I’m going to make you so happy, Annalisa.  Like you have made me.”

She couldn’t speak, could barely even think in her own mind as the rowdy guests began hollering deafeningly loud.  But all she could hear was the promises he was making to her, tears forming in her eyes.

She didn’t know what she did in her lonely life to deserve such a man like him.  But she was thanking her lucky stars.

_Five seconds._

“This is our year, baby.”

Harry brought his mouth closer to hers to whisper the last words of the ending year before he captured her lips in a promising kiss with two seconds left, unable to wait until the clock struck midnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)


	10. How The New Year Began

“I swear that balding man becomes more insufferable with each new year,” Harry joked as he entered the washroom, the steam of the shower taking him by surprise.  Anna’s laugh wafted through the glass door and Harry smiled.  He would always describe her carefree laugh as being a sweet melody to his ears.

“Maybe he’ll be nicer to you once he takes a look at your own hair loss.”

Harry gasped in horror while grabbing his toothbrush and the tube of toothpaste, content at the glimpse of the pink toothbrush that rested in the holder.  “Never joke about a man’s hair.. or lack thereof.”

“Unless he’s your brother.”

“Well, yeah.. Wills free for all,” he said, hovering over the sink.  The bristles scrubbed the bitter taste of the whiskey he had downed all night, replacing it with a fresh and clean feel.  He turned his head to the side and watched the blurred silhouette of her form, making out the bent of her arms as she washed her long dark locks.  He felt the familiar stir in his boxers and pressed down on it for some relief with his free hand.  Sliding the bristles over his teeth in quick strokes, he inwardly groaned when her head tipped back, her chest pushing forward.  The little vixen had no idea what she was doing to him.

“Before you know it, you’ll be two old men in rockers, fighting over who has the most false teeth,” Anna sniggered at his growl, unaware the low grating sound was far from innocent.

She turned and faced the spray of the shower, pumping the bottle of face wash before rubbing it between her hands to form a nice foam before scrubbing her pink face clean. She felt the rush of cold air before it was replaced by the warmth of a hard body behind her, smirking at the two strong hands that held her hips.  ”Hello, there.  What are you up to?”

Harry dropped a kiss on her bare shoulder, pushing aside the sopping locks of hair that clung to her neck.  ”Staying true to my word.”

His lips trailed along her neck, his tongue poking through to catch the droplets that rolled off her skin while his hands busied themselves by rubbing her sides in a slow up and down motion.  Anna hummed and tilted her head to the side to give him better access and he took full advantage of it, nipping her pulse point that quickened when his fingertips tickled down to the tops of her thighs.  “I love how honorable you are.”

Harry breathed harshly against the shell of her ear before tugging on her earlobe, his index and middle finger rubbing along her slit then slipping in between the slick folds. “And I love how wet you are for me right here..”

“Oh…” Anna moaned, her legs already trembling at his soft touch as he stroked her again and again.  He caught her weight as she fell back on his hard chest when his fingers sunk inside her core.  Between his arousal poking her back and the in and out ministration he kept, she grew hotter and hotter, the juices already flowing freely out of her.

“Fuck..” Harry groaned, pushing his erection more directly against the small of her back as it grew harder.  He was moving easily in her wetness by how aroused she was, and it didn’t help his erection as he imagined how slick his length would be as he slipped in and out of her.  “How do you get this wet so quickly, peaches?”

“Because of you,” she confessed, her breaths coming out choppy, already aching for the intense release she knew Harry would give her.  She swung her arms loosely up around his neck, her perky breasts pushing up from the different position, and felt his chest expand with his sharp intake of air.  Harry couldn’t resist touching more of her, lifting his free hand to cup her left breast, instantly molding it in his palm as he drew more pleasured moans from her, the hard pebble pressing deliciously into his skin.

Separating her legs further apart, allowing Harry to get deeper within her, Anna whimpered, desperate for more.. needing more.  “Please..”

Harry didn’t have to ask what she was pleading for, he could almost feel the throbbing of her clit as it begged for his attention.  The pad of his thumb pressed firmly on the bundle of nerves before rotating in slow circles as his digits stilled deep in her clinging channel. “How’s this, baby?”

“Mmm..” She hummed, swiveling her hips to urge his unmoving fingers as his thumb on her clit never let up.  Harry hissed at the sweet friction of her movements rubbing against his cock, sending jolts of pleasure down his spine to his toes.

“God, Annalisa.. Look at me, sweetness..” He demanded, squeezing her flesh in his hand as his fingers started up once again.  Anna gasped and tilted her head up, Harry instantly dipping his head to capture her pouty lips in a wet kiss.  Neither one of them could determine who had opened their mouths first but they both moaned together, Anna tasting his minty mouth and Harry enjoying the warmth of her tongue as it tangled with his.

Her inner walls contracted around him, milking him as the pressure build stronger in her lower belly and pushed all the way out.  It took just one more stroke on her clit before the pressure was released, her blissful cries trapped in his mouth.

After she came down from the first high of many that would follow, she turned to face him and squealed when Harry lifted her up effortlessly.  She giggled at his smug grin as he balanced her weight, her back firmly pressed against the wall and her arms curled around his broad shoulders.  “Are you ready for me, my love?” He asked, shifting into the appropriate position as Anna wrapped her legs around his waist.

“Show me what you got, Wales.”

Harry’s chuckle melted into a long, satisfying moan when he guided her to sink onto his throbbing cock, watching her face contort in gratification.  “Harry..” She breathed, her inner walls molding him as he began a slow and steady pace.  “Baby..”

Her hand slid down his slick back, his strong muscles rippling under her gentle touch. She caught his intense gaze and held it with her own, the emotion behind his eyes adding to the emotions coursing through her.  She scrunched up her nose and crossed her eyes.

There was nothing better than this.  Loving someone so immensely that during such intimate moments, both were comfortable enough to act silly.

Harry huffed out a laugh, momentarily faltering.  ”You’re crazy.”

“I kno- _oh_!” His jerky thrusts had sparked something inside of her, her toes curling at the intensity and her eyes sliding shut.  ”Do that again..”

“ _This_?” He asked, repeating the same motion over and over, rewarded with her increasing sounds of approval.

“Oh god…oh god…”

But her eyes popped open when his hoarse voice resounded in her ears.  “ _Do you like that_? Hmm, baby? Tell _daddy_ how much _you like that_.” She studied him intently, catching the glint in his laughing pupils before they both broke into a fit of giggles.

She was going to kill Maggie.

Anna hadn’t realized she had said the threat out loud until Harry snickered, leaning forward to kiss her softly.  “Love you, crazy girl.”

“Love you, big papi.”

She grinned proudly at his howl of laughter.

Their silliness was forgotten moments later when Harry quickened his pace, losing themselves in each other once again.  Not long after, Anna was reaching her second climax, Harry muffling her moans by slanting his mouth over hers, their tongues sliding wetly.

He was so painfully hard, his cock ached with the need to be relieved that he could almost cry.  But nothing beat watching her come undone for him and he had vowed to make love to her the way she deserved.  He was determined to have their fresh new start of a new year be a memorable one.

“One more?” The strangled question almost went unheard as she panted, the intense high subsiding.

“ _More_?!” She cried, half laughing.  ”I don’t think I can do more..”

He slid back in her in one fluid motion and ground his hips, her clit bumping his hipbone, profanity slipping past her swollen lips.

“Do you want me to stop?” He genuinely asked, his teeth grazing her earlobe.

“No,” she whimpered in response.  “Please, baby..come with me this time..“

He dropped his head on her shoulder, forcefully thrusting in and out and sunk his teeth into her flesh, causing Anna to break his skin with her fingernails as she repeatedly called out his name.  His control was slipping by the millisecond with her enthusiasm, choking on a moan when her legs tightened around him, holding him close.  He had to get her there again, concentrating on the task as he fought against the tightening of his balls by sucking on her shoulder.

“Oh.. Please..” She pleaded, her head thrown back on the wall, trying to reach the impending orgasm that was fast approaching.  She was so close.. so fucking close to letting go, to succumbing to the wave of pleasure.  “Oh, Harry..”

He angled his hips and swiftly thrust deep within her, grunting every time his cock filled her to the hilt.  Anna began to sob as he continued the same action over and over, hitting a sweet spot that only he could find as she came again, harder this time.  Harry growled as he finally allowed himself to catch his own mind blowing release.

Harry’s vision was white and he felt lightheaded when he came down from the high, Anna comforting him by rubbing his back up and down as they both tried desperately to even out their breaths.

“Happy fucking New Year,” she laughed out, Harry moaning in agreement.

—-

Anna padded into the room wearing her favorite knee-high socks and one of his long shirts that hid her knickers, finding Harry crouched in front of the blazing fireplace with just a pair of gray boxer briefs, carefully adding a few twigs to keep the warmth alive in the chilled air.

The water had turned freezing cold by the time they were completely satisfied, both shivering under the harsh spray that cooled down their flushed skin instantly.  Anna helped Harry wash up quickly with chattering teeth and Harry took care of warming them up when they stepped out by wrapping both of them in heated towels.

Harry had suggested to climb in his bed and drift off into much needed sleep, Anna reaching the point of being awake for well over 24 hours since she had worked a double the day before to attend the celebrations.  But he learned that she made it a habit every year to wait until it hit 5am in London to send out the group message to her family when their new year began.  After a minute or two of bickering that consisted of Anna demanding Harry to get some sleep and Harry insisting on staying up with her, her mobile rang out from the hospital and she excused herself to take the call.

And that’s when Harry took it upon himself that he had won the round and made way to the living area to start up a fire.

“They allow you to touch the fireplace? God help us all,” she said with a teasing smile.

Harry turned and eyed her up and down, appreciating her lack of wear.  A slow smirk formed on his lips.  ”Do you doubt my abilities to tame a wild fire, love?”

Anna blushed, the heat of the birthing flames deepening the red tint of her cheeks.  ”Not at all, mister fire marshal.” Harry caught the flash of remembrance of their encounter at the party in her expression and chuckled.

He slowly stood up straight, a hand on his bare leg that ached, Anna catching the look of discomfort.

“I think you’re getting too old to tame wild fires in scandalous places, grandpa,” she giggled at his scowl before making way to him as he opened his arms for her.

“Shush.” He saw a slight wince when she took the first step and lifted a brow.  ”Are you sore, old lady?”

“It’s your doing.”

He closed his arms to hold her close, swaying her side to side in a slow dance, dropping a kiss on her head.  ”I’m not even a bit sorry.”

She looked up with a beaming smile.  ”Me either.”

“Thought not.” He ducked his head and pecked her puckered lips.  ”Everything okay at the hospital?”

“Yep.  Just some updates I had asked for when results came in.”

“Good news?”

Her wide smile and hopeful eyes said all he needed to know.  “Yeah, very good news.  I can’t wait to see their excited faces later.”

“I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to see you.”

They stayed that way for a few minutes longer, slow dancing to the tranquil crackling of the fire beside them, until Harry suggested Anna joining him on watching the sunrise on the first day of the new year.  She agreed immediately and took his hand as he led her to the windowsill, picking up a quilt on the way.

They snuggled close together, Harry’s arms securely around her with her hands holding the oversized together as they overlooked the stars that shone brightly in the dark sky. They relied on the chitchat to avoid the sleep that called out to them as time passed, talking about anything and everything in between yawns.

“Did you enjoy yourself tonight?” Harry asked, nestling her hair affectionately.

Anna snorted.  “I think you know I did.”

He poked her side in reply, chuckling tiredly at her squirming away from him.  “I meant at the party, you sex fiend.”

“Oh,” she laughed. “I did.  It was a great time.. Especially when you asked me to marry you right before you kissed me at midnight.”

“Ha! You wish.”

“Okay,” she sang.  “But you really did.”

“No, I didn’t,” he insisted, rolling his eyes at her attempt to make him sweat.

“You totally did but if you want to keep denying it, then okay.  Whatever helps you sleep at night…”

Harry’s brows furrowed together, thinking back to the night.  He _couldn’t_ have.. there was no way he would have forgotten that.  Sure, he had downed quite a few tumblers of whiskey, expensive whiskey at that.  But he had a clear mind the whole night, chugging a couple bottles of water himself.

“I-erm.. N-no.. I..” He stumbled, unable to recall a proposal.

Anna bit her lip as she studied his confused state, enjoying seeing him uneasy as he fought to remember.  The wheels were turning in his head and Anna giggled.  He hadn’t proposed, she was thankful for that.  They weren’t quite ready for that jump yet.  But he had uttered his promise _to_ marry her soon.

“Bazinga!”

Harry felt his elevated heart rate slowly calm down to a normal pace, shaking his head as he let out a nervous laugh.  “You’re obnoxious.”

Her giggles filled the spacious living area of his apartment, turning her head up to kiss his cheek in a weak apology.  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you start to sweat so quickly before.”

He narrowed his eyes.  “Your ring just decreased in value for that little prank.”

Anna rolled her eyes, still chuckling.  “I don’t care about the ring.  I care about our vows, our commitment to each other.  Being your _wife_.”

He was beaming, her words tugging at his heart as he hugged her closer.  “Knock-off ring it is then.  More money in my pocket.”

She laughed, shrugging her shoulders in answer before a teasing smirk took over her features.  “I would’ve said no if you proposed tonight, anyway.”

“ _What_?!”

“What?” She turned to him, her features softening at his hurt expression.  “Harry, you know we are not ready to take that big step.  We’re not there yet.” She paused, cupping his cheek before adding, “We will be someday.  Just not right now.”  The sadness never left his eyes, even after her reassurance and Anna began kicking herself for digging her own hole.  “I’m sorry.. Are you upset with me?”

His lips twitched.  “Bazinga.”

Anna shoved him, laughing along with him.  “Anyway, you jerk… going back to the party.. I felt kinda bad.”

“Why’s that?”

She wrinkled her nose.  “Liv wanted some advice on the dresses she had in mind for Jake’s wedding and I was too distracted.  I was clearly coming off as if I gave two shits.  I hope she doesn’t think I’m some sort of bitch.”

“I wouldn’t give it a second thought.  She seemed fine when we were outside watching the fireworks.”

“You think so?” She asked, making a mental note to text her friend later on that day when she got a chance to apologize.

“Of course,” he replied.  “But if you feel that remorseful, just mention you were distracted by my shmexy body and she’ll understand.”

“Ha!”

Harry waited a moment before he continued.  “I don’t hear any denial.”

“Yeah, well.. You got me all hot and bothered then ran off,” she joked.  “Where’d you go anyway? You were gone for an awhile long time.” She could’ve sworn his posture became straighter and his muscles tensed.  But she thought nothing of it until she glanced up at him and saw his jaw tick.  “Harry?”

“Hm?” He hummed, his attention focused on the view outside the window instead of on her.

“Where did you disappear to earlier? When Tom came for you.”

“Oh,” he swallowed, his adams apple bobbing up and down, nervously.  “Just someone I hadn’t seen in a bit.  Wanted to ask about the trek.”

Anna couldn’t help the strange feeling that hit her gut at his change in demeanor.  But when his eyes finally focused on her concerned orbs, his charming smile brushed off any further questions she had about it and she stored them away for a later time.

“Speaking of, I inform you with great sadness that the beard is leaving us.”

Her eyes widened in mock horror before she pouted.  “What?! Nooo, this can’t be.”

“Afraid so.  I lost a bet at Christmas dinner.”

“Damn it, Henry!”

He chortled at her false anger, loving her reactions to the little things in life.  She was like a breath of fresh air.  “They cheated! I swear they ganged up against me to make me lose. I got them to give me a couple more weeks.”

She brought her hand up and ran it through the thick hairs of his face, already missing the way it scratched her sensitive skin.  Her face flushed as she pictured what the burn would feel like between her legs, wetness pooling at her still sore core from the nights activities.  Harry winked, knowing exactly what she was fantasizing.  He most certainly would make it happen before it wasn’t possible any longer.  “Maybe later if you behave,” he promised.

“Mmm.” Anna licked her lips and smirked at his groan.

——

A half hour went by and it was becoming increasingly difficult for both to stay upright and alert.  Anna was startled awake by his pinch on her side.

“You’re falling asleep,” he groggily said.

“I’m tired,” she whined, burying her nose in his neck.  “Just let me rest my eyes for a second.”

“Nope,” he denied her.  “Once you do that, you’ll be out and then who’s going to keep me awake?”

“The voices in your head,” she mumbled.

“Cute.” She yelped when he pinched her again.  “Let’s play a game.  Moon or stars?”

“Mmm..” She weakly thought.  “Stars.  They’re constant and don’t change shape like the moon.  We both know I’m not too fond of change.”

“You said it,” he teased.  “I say the moon.  I like how it changes shape.”

“Like you and your split personalities?”

“Someone is getting grumpy.  And it’s not me, surprisingly.”

“I’m so tiiiired,” she complained, the heat radiating off of him keeping her cozy.

“Come on, your turn.  There’s still 25 minutes to go.”

“Ugh.. ummm.. Apples or oranges?”

“Ha! That’s all you got? Lame.”

It was Harry’s turn to yelp when she grabbed hold of his arm hair and tugged.  “Shut up.  I can’t think right now.”

“Christ, woman! Apples!” He said, soothing his arm.  “Guitar or piano?”

“That’s a tough one.. Umm.. It really depends on the mood and song I’m playing.”

“I prefer the piano,” he said.

“Why?” She asked.

“Well.. if you recall, we made love on the piano.”

“Ha! Pretty woman style,” Anna snorted.

“Maybe one day we’ll take a holiday to California just so I could make love to you on a piano again.  Welcome to Hollywood, what’s your dream?”

“The fact that you can quote Pretty Woman frightens me a bit.”

“I’ve got a soft spot for Julia Roberts.  Redheads unite.” Anna giggled.  “Ah ha.. I made you laugh.”

“I love you, silly goose.”

“I know this,” he grinned.  “Ginger or brunettes?”

“Gingers.  But I may be biased.  How about you?”

“Brunettes,” he said without hesitation.  “But I may be biased.”

“Good answer.  Babies or toddlers?”

Harry’s face scrunched up before he replied.  “Toddlers.  Babies cry, sleep, or shit.  Boring.  You’re able to do all the fun stuff with toddlers like sports and playgrounds and the like.”

“Did you just say babies are boring?” She gave a half laugh, looking up at him from her spot on his shoulder.  “You’re a big ol’ meanie.”

Harry bowed his head to meet her tired eyes and pulled a face.  “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.”

Anna snickered, her eyes squinting.  “I’m not a meanie.  I choose babies because they’re more dependent on you.  They literally cannot do anything for themselves and it’s nice to feel needed like that… and just the way a baby smiles at you, it’s adorable.”

She paused, catching Harry’s fond smile.  She knew he was imagining her holding his baby years from now, rocking the bundle of joy that they created together as he looked on with pride. “Plus they can’t talk,” she added.

Harry’s fantasy floated away by her words, belting out a laugh.  “You got me there, peaches.” He kissed the tip of her nose and squeezed her tighter to him.  “You’ll be the greatest mummy in the world one day.”

A wide smile spread on her face, envisioning herself doing all the motherly things her mom did for her and her brothers while they were growing up; kissing owies and wiping tears, bringing Snow White’s voice to life at bedtime, getting up at the crack of dawn each morning to make sure heart shaped pancakes and fresh fruit were ready on the table by the time they all got up.  If what Harry said were to be true one day, her heart told her it was because she learned from the best.

“I hope so,” she started, pausing a moment before continuing wistfully.  “If you’re right, our kids will be pretty spoiled.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, ecstatic that Anna was talking about their future family with him so openly.

“Because they’ll have the best daddy in the world who will always protect them and shower them with love and praise.  They’ll be so loved.”

Harry grinned with misty eyes, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat.  He longed for kids, for a family, and that desire had only grown stronger ever since he met the one that made his soul complete.  “You’re incredible,” he commented, rubbing his nose with hers lovingly.

“So are you, captain,” she whispered before placing her lips over his.

It wasn’t long before it was finally time to send out the Happy New Year group text, Harry making fun of all of the emojis she added to the end of it.  Anna shrugged it off and grinned, holding up her phone to show Harry that she wasn’t the only one that overused the icons.

Her phone buzzed in her hand, alerting them of a phone call.  “Aw, it’s my mama.”

“I’ll give you a few minutes,” he started to untangle himself from her but stopped short when she held his arm and told him to stay.

“Happy New Year, mommy!”

“Happy New Year, baby!” Her mother’s voice brought a broad smile to her face as it always did.  “How have the first five hours of 2014 been for you?”

She glanced back at Harry and blushed, rolling her eyes at his smug grin.  “The best so far.  Where’s daddy?”

“Oh,” Lucille laughed lightly.  “He passed out ten minutes before the ball dropped.”

“What an old man,” Anna teased, making her mother belt out a hearty laugh.  “How about nana?”

“She was in bed by nine.  It’s just me watching the New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.  I seem to remember the performances being better than as of late.”

“Still hoping for a Hall & Oates reunion in Times Square?” Harry chuckled behind her.

“Never giving up the faith!” Lucille sighed, tiredly.  “Maybe your father and nana were right about hitting the hay.  I’m exhausted.”

“You should get some sleep.  I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay, baby,” her mother yawned.  “I love you and I hope you have a wonderful day.  Happy New Year, Harry.”

Harry was stunned at hearing her sweet mother speak directly to him for the first time, catching Anna’s equally shocked expression.  “Erm.. Ha-happy new year, Mrs. Caro..”

“Oh, no.. please, sweetheart.. call me Lucille.”

He nodded, being too much in a stupor to realize she couldn’t see him until Anna elbowed him with a soft laugh.  “Uh.. thank you, Lucille.”

Lucille held back the amusement that wanted to pour out of her, knowing her husband would get a kick out of her being able to make a prince stutter.  “Goodnight, darlings.”

“Goodnight,” they replied in unison before Anna ended the call.

“Well, fuck.. How did she know that I was here?!”

“We always said as kids how she had eyes planted everywhere to know what we were up to.” Anna’s heart melted at the beet redness of his face and hugged him tight.  “Come on, babe.  Off to bed we go..”

———

Anna cracked her neck and swung the door open to the locker room, making way to her locker to grab her belongings.  She yawned rather loudly, anticipating crawling into her comfortable bed to catch up on sleep.  It was her last shift of the week and she had the whole day to rest and focus on planning tomorrow’s dinner while Harry spent the majority of the day stuck in meeting after meeting.

She reached inside her bag to check her messages, Harry always sending her a good morning text.  She smiled when she saw it, quickly typing a reply that consisted of several emojis before she moved on to the other text she had received just a minute ago.

_Emergency alert.  Call me when you can._

Her brows furrowed together at Maggie’s message, concerned for her friend that been MIA since New Years.  She quickly selected the call option on her mobile and waited for Maggie to pick up.  It didn’t take long; on the second ring, the device went into counting the duration of the call, Maggie’s panicked tone filling the silence.

“I did something so… _horrible_.  I’m despicable.  I can never look at myself in the mirror again.  Oh god, I don’t think I can go on..” Maggie rambled in one breath.

“Um… are you okay?” Anna asked, her worry growing by the second at how distraught her friend was.

“What do I do? What do I do?!” She cried.

“Okay, take some deep breaths..” She instructed, listening to Maggie follow her advice.  “Good..nice and easy… In and out..“

“That sounds dirty,” Maggie said with a hint of humor before she groaned again in disgust.  “Dirty.. Oh no..“

“What’s going on, Mags? I haven’t heard from you since New Years and you were nowhere to be found after midnight.  What’s happened?”

“I… I can’t even say it! It’s that..ugh!”

“That’s it, I’m coming over.  Name any Ben & Jerry’s and I’ll make it appear.”

“No!” She shouted before cringing and dropping to a low undertone.  “Erm, no.. It’s okay.. I’m okay.. Everything’s okay..“

“You’re starting to really freak me out.”

“I slept with Skip,” she confessed before she lost the nerve.

There was dead silence on both ends, so much so that a pin drop would be easily heard until Anna broke the ice.

“You.. slept with Skip?” She asked slowly, the words foreign to her ears.  “Are..you sure??“

“Well..neither one of us had clothes on when I woke up in his bed so I’m fairly certain something of the like happened..”

“Whoa..” Anna was speechless.  “Um.. _Skippy_?”

“Anna!”

“I’m sorry! I just.. wow!”

“I know, I know.. I can’t believe it myself.  He convinced me to kiss him at midnight and the-”

“Wait!” Anna interrupted in disbelief.  “You kissed at midnight?! How did I miss that?”

“Because you and loverboy were too engrossed with each other to see anything else around you,” Maggie explained with a chuckle.

“Oh..” Anna blushed.

“Yeah, you two make me sick sometimes.. Anyway, we kissed at midnight and then we just kinda.. left together and I’ve been at his place ever since.” Anna paused, taking it all in before she guffawed, drowning out Maggie’s groan.  “This is _not_ funny Annalisa Caro.”

“Yes, it is! We haven’t heard from you.. _at all!_   You missed our gym session when you’ve been on point with it, even dragging my ass there.. and it’s all because you’ve been fucking Skippy.   _Skippy_!” She howled with laughter.  “This is only the best thing.. ever.”

Maggie huffed in frustration.  “Why did I call you again? I should’ve called Harry.”

“Harry?!” Anna exclaimed.  “You really think _Harry_ wouldn’t be doing the same? Mags, it’s Skippy! You can’t stand him!”

“Ugh,” Maggie said, annoyed.  “I hate you.”

Anna wiped her eyes, letting out a few more giggles before sobering up.  “I’m sorry,” she apologized.  “I’m really sorry.  Okay, I’m all ears.”

“I’m so confused, Anna.  He’s.. not what I thought he was.  I mean, I have known this guy for years and I never knew there was this other side of him that he kept hidden.  He’s actually really.. funny and incredibly sweet.”

“Aw,” Anna gushed.  “That makes sense though.  He doesn’t seem like such a terrible human being.  I mean.. he’s kinda weird but.. aren’t we all to some extent?” She chuckled, counting all of her quirks that Harry put up with.  “He’s a joker but he does come off as the type that covers up his sensitive side with humor in fear of rejection.”

“Wow,” Maggie giggled.  “Have _you_ slept with Skippy?”

“Ew.  That’s disgu-” She pressed her lips together and cringed.  “Umm.. oops, sorry.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Her friend replied, sarcastically.  “I don’t know what to do, Anna.  I need your help.  Please, tell me what to do.”

“I can’t tell you what to do,” she laughed.  “But I can offer up some advice?”

“Yes, please.”

“If it feels right, then go for it.  Take it slow, talk it out, and just see what happens.”

Maggie pondered it.  She didn’t want to ruin their friendship, but they could never go back to the way things were before.  And she wasn’t even entirely sure she wanted to.  She sighed heavily, praying to the gods above that she wouldn’t regret this.  “You’re right,” she voiced.  “Now if only you were that smart with your own relationships.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Anna laughed, fully aware she deserved that.

They talked for a few more minutes, discussing Anna’s final meal plan for the next evenings dinner and dishing out sex details from the past couple of days.

“Shit.  He’s back with breakfast,” Maggie cursed.  “Hugs and kisses.  Tomorrow will go off without a hitch.”

“Wait, what? You’re wishing me luck now?”

“I, uh.. might be occupied for awhile..”

Anna laughed.  “Whatever happened to friends over sex?”

“They’ve clearly never had the best sex of their life yet.  Gotta go.  Bye!”

She heard the dead air before she could voice her own goodbye and was left staring at a blank screen, laughing to herself.

_Maggie and Skippy.  Skippy and Maggie._

“Holy shit,” Anna muttered, going through her mobile to call her boyfriend.

“Hey, ba-”

“You’ll never _believe_ what just happened.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)


	11. How He Almost Lost Her (A Bump in the Road)

“Honey, I’m hoooome!” Harry announced, waltzing into the kitchen where he found Anna’s arms deep inside the filled sink, washing out the dishes she had used to prep the three course meal.  He loved seeing her comfortable in his kitchen as if it were her own and couldn’t wait for the day where it would be hers.

“You’re late,” Anna commented, offering her cheek for him to greet when he wrapped his arms around her frame. “You’re in big trouble, mister.“

Harry chuckled, swaying her side to side as he relished in having her close after a long and boring day at the office.  ”Sorry, love.  Meeting was dragged on and on…”

He had missed her all day, unable to check his phone as often as he would like.  But even if he could, Harry would be the one checking up on her.  During his lunch break, he wasn’t all that surprised to find only one text from her (a simple ‘ _fine_ ’ in reply to his asking on how her day was going), knowing she wasn’t one to bombard his mobile with calls and messages.

In the past, Anna had used the logical excuse of their conflicting schedules—not wanting to wake him while he slept during her night shift at the hospital— when he confronted on why she insisted on him being the chaser.  But as they grew closer, she had begun to confide in him with some of the family skeletons.  Her trust issues went as far back as when she was a child, having trouble opening up to her peers due to being on the move at any given time.

But what had shaped her on not being overbearing as an adult was witnessing her brother Luke and his wife almost divorce just months after her nephew was born over Kathie’s persistence on wanting to know where he was and what he was doing at every moment of the day.  Anna had been caught in the middle, her brother automatically claiming her to take his side since they were blood and Kathie clinging to her friend for support.  It was enough to make Anna vow to herself to never become ‘that girl’.

What struck Harry odd was that in previous relationships, getting overwhelmed from constant nagging messages was his biggest pet peeve, finding it extremely irritating and a turn off; and now that he was in a relationship with a woman who wasn’t chasing after him for attention, he almost wished she would.

“Mmhmm..” She hummed doubtfully as she rinsed off the soap from the baking sheet and piled it with the others to dry off.  “Or you stalled so you could avoid helping me in the kitchen.“

“Nonsense,” he denied, burying his nose in her hair that was in an up-do, the intoxicating scent causing a dip in his lower belly.  “You know I love cooking with you.”

Anna snorted, bumping his front with her backside to give her enough room to begin placing the dried pots and pans back in their designated cabinets.  “Only because it gives you the opportunity to gloat when it comes out right.”

“Well, duh.” Harry gave her bottom a firm smack and smirked at her giggle.  He watched her for a minute, appreciating the way her stretching up on her tiptoes as she reached high up inside a cupboard caused her shirt to ride up and reveal her soft milky skin.  “Did you miss me today?”

“I’ve been too preoccupied with making everything perfect to have you even cross my mind..” She lied, ignoring the mock hurt face he pulled.  Harry charged at her from behind, lifting her up and spinning her high in the air.  “Eeek, Harry!” Anna screeched, laughing as he continued to twirl her around.  “I’m getting dizzy!”

“Dizzy from my charming good looks.”

“Ha!” He set her back down on solid ground, steadying her when she stumbled.  “Whoa..”

“Are my dazzling blue eyes making you weak in the knees, darling?”

She turned to face him and brought her arms around his neck, reaching up on her bare toes to plant a sound kiss on his lips.  “They sure seem to have that effect on me, yes..”

Harry winked with a beaming grin and leaned down to capture her in another kiss, this time longer as their mouths worked over the other.  What started off as an innocent display of affection quickly escalated as they continued to express just how much they truly missed each other, lips meshing together and hearts beating erratically.  Harry let out a low groan that rumbled in his chest when the tip of her tongue begged for entrance and he happily obliged, his hands moving down to cup her bottom.

“Shit, the cake!” The sound of a timer going off made Anna jump back immediately and race over to the oven where she switched it off and pulled out one layer of chocolate cake, leaving a panting Harry as he ran his fingers through his hair.  She peeked at his blinking expression and snickered.  “Who’s the dizzy one now?”

“Ha!” Harry laughed with a nod.  “Can’t help it if you’re an incredible kisser.”

She lifted a brow in spite of her blazing cheeks.  “Dishing out compliments.  I don’t know whether to be flattered or suspicious that you want something.”

“Both,” he simply said, making his way over to inspect what she had spent all day prepping.  Anna jogged over to the refrigerator to grab the items she needed to finish up dessert.  “I always want something.”

“Sex?” She guessed, going through the bottom drawers in search of the strawberries.

“Sex _with_ you,” he corrected, lifting up the cover to peer into the pot.  “This smells great.”

“Let’s hope it tastes like it smells then.” Anna whipped around when she heard the clink sound of a spoon against stainless steel, catching Harry tasting the tortellini soup she had just finished preparing.  “Hey! Bastard.”

Harry ignored her protests, taking another sample of the steaming soup as she strode over to him and squatted his arm.  “Hey, hey, hey.. don’t get any stains on the suit.  Do you know how much this shit costs?”

Anna rolled her eyes.  “Not as much as the surgery you’ll need to get rid of that spoon from your ass if you keep picking.”

“That’s pretty colorful.  You’ve been spending too much time with Mags.”

“Nope,” she pouted.  “Skip has stolen her away..”

“Is that still going on?” Harry lifted his brows, bemused.  “Can’t say I saw that one coming.  But it’s not as disturbing as I thought it would be.”

“I know, right?” She took the spoon out of his grasp while he protested.  “We’re running out of time.  Go take a shower… You smell.”

Harry poked her side and pulled a face.  “How can I stink? I’ve been cooped up in an office for nine hours straight.”

“Must be your natural scent then, stinky winky.”

“Stinky winky? What the fuck?” He howled with laughter as he made his way out of the kitchen.  “Please don’t call me that ever again.”

———-

With about twenty-five minutes left before the dinner guests would arrive, Anna had finally changed out of her sweats and shimmied into the flowy skirt that went along with the funky patterned blouse.  She slipped on the nude heels and readjusted the hair clip that held up her straightened dark strands, sweeping the bangs that were separated in two and brushed to the side.  For the majority of the day, she had mastered the art of keeping the anxiety in check, focusing on the new recipes she had pulled from the internet instead of the impending evening.  But now that dinner was made and the table was set, the insecurities were being pushed to the forefront of her mind.

Strolling in the washroom where Harry was showering, she waved the steam away from her face and wiped the fogged up mirror.  ”Fuck, I’m so nervous, Har… I’m going to throw up.” She inhaled through her nose and let the rush of air blow out her mouth before popping a birth control pill and taking a gulp of water from the faucet to wash it down.

“Relax, baby.  You’ll be fine.”

Rolling her eyes, she reached for the tube of lipstick and applied it slowly, meshing her lips together to spread the red tint evenly.  He had been voicing the same words over and over for the past few days and it was quite frankly getting on her last nerve.   _They’ll love you.  It’ll be okay.  Relax_.  If he said it one more time, she was going to scream.

What if tonight was a disaster? She would most certainly not be _fine_.

“I wish you’d stop saying that.  You don’t know that.” She touched up her cheeks with a light peach colored blush and re-did the eyeliner on her upper lid.

“Are you insinuating I don’t know my own family?”

“I’m stating that you don’t own any psychic abilities and can’t possibly know they’re going to like me.  Just because you do doesn’t mean they will.” She growled in frustration as she fought with the clasp of the locket from her mother, her hands too shaky to cooperate.  ”Agh, I can’t get this friggin thing on!”

“What is it?”

“My mother’s necklace.  I can’t get the clasp..”

“Leave it…I’m almost done here.  I’ll do it for you.” He paused to splash water on his face, washing off the soap before deciding to try to get her to relax some with a joke.  “Besides, who ever said I liked you?”

Anna laughed lightly, Harry grinning in success, before she groaned when she caught sight of the flyaway hairs of her hairline.

“If I could survive your brothers, then you can survive them.”

“Wish you’d stop saying that, too,” she muttered to herself„ taming her stubborn hair.

“You’ll be fi-” he caught himself and chortled at her huffing.  “What do you want me to say?! It’ll go horribly wrong.  They’ll hate your cooking and will think you’re a flake and we will have to break up in the result of a disastrous evening.“

“Shut up!” Anna cried, her stomach tightening as she checked the time.  “You’re lucky you only have less than fifteen minutes before they get here or-“

“Or you’d ravish me? Have your way with me? I approve of that.  They can wait.”

Anna snorted, tidying up the sink counter of her feminine products, keeping the locket securely in one hand.  ”Down boy.  You get none of that,” she said, a buzzing sound catching her attention.  ”Someone’s calling you.”

“I’m finishing up, just answer it.”

She gulped. “Answer it? I can’t.. what if it’s someone I’m not supposed to be talking to?”

Harry chuckled.  ”Like the Queen?”

“Yes, like the _Queen_.”

Harry evened his voice to come off being sincere.  ”If there’s a crown icon, then it’s my Gran.”

“Are you being serious?”

“No!” He laughed at how gullible she was.  “It’s probably Will or Mike.  Check the caller ID.“

Anna picked up the device and peered down at the screen, catching an unfamiliar name for a split second before it changed to the Missed Call screen.  ”It went to voicemail but it said Cressie?” Anna questioned, a strange feeling building in the pit of her stomach.

Harry stayed quiet, halting all movements.  The only sound that could be heard was the strong spray of the shower splatting on the floor before swirling down the drain.  The lack of a response was alarming, the feeling growing more intense as the time ticked on.  But before Anna could voice her concern, his phone buzzed in her hand.

_Cressie._

“She’s calling again.”

“Let it go to voicemail,” came Harry’s short reply.

“Why can’t I answer it?”

“Just let it go to voicemail, Annalisa.” Her curiosity didn’t lessen any by his curt tone.

“Who is she?”

“No one.”

“No one?” She repeated, bewildered.  “Just a second ago you said I could answer it like it wasn’t a big deal.. then I tell you it’s her calling and all of a sudden I can’t? Yet she’s no one.“

“No one _important_.” Harry pushed the glass door open and stepped onto the rug, reaching for the towel that she left for him.  He dabbed his face with it, avoiding her.  Anna’s stomach tightened when she noticed his tense shoulders and the way his jaw was clenched.

“Harry..”

He paused, quickly glancing at her before averting his eyes.  ”What?”

“You’re keeping something from me.” Anna watched him closely, confirming what she had suspected at the back of her mind for days.  He didn’t reply, just continued to ruffle his hair with the towel.  “No one.. sure sounds like it,“ she mumbled sarcastically, crossing her arms.

He looked up and glared.  ”If I say she’s no one, then she’s no one.  Drop it, Annalisa.”

“Excuse me? Drop it?”

“Yes, forget about it.”

“Okay,” she said calmly, her heart beating a mile a minute at his defensive behavior.  She was going to have none of that.  She had been avoiding this for too long, trusting him. But she wasn’t sure what to think about that now.  “I’m going to ask you a few questions right now.  If you don’t answer them, I want to warn you that I’m going to get very angry and I don’t think you want that right before I meet your family.  I trust you to be honest with me.  I trust you to not be dismissive when I want to have an open conversation.” Harry sighed in defeat, guilt and worry plaguing him as his chest constricted with it.

“Right.. I’m sorry.” He said, securing the towel around his waist and planting his hands on his hips.

“Can you please look at me?” His regretful eyes flicked to her panicked ones and both of their hearts raced at what was about to be revealed.  “Who is she, Harry?”

He swallowed, formulating his response in his head before he would let them escape past his lips.  “An old friend.”

“Did you fuck her?” Her bluntness threw him off as he staggered back a few steps.  “Did you?” She insisted as he ran his fingers through his still damp hair.

“I have slept with her, yes.”

“Is she the reason why you disappeared on New Years?”

“Anna-”

“ _Is_ she who you went off to, Harry?” She sternly asked, her voice raised.

“Yes… but it’s not what you thi-”

“When did you last sleep with her?” Anna couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t stop the ache that had formed in her heart at his confession.  She had more to ask—needed to know more— but she was terrified of the answer, her trust in him, in their relationship,  slowly deteriorating with every response that came from him.

Harry dropped his gaze then, fixating on her heels.

“Did you sleep with her after me?”

Then he uttered the one word that crushed her.

“Yes.”

———-

Anna had never excused herself so fast in her life before, coming up with the lame lie of forgetting to turn off the stove.  Her thoughts were spiraling out of control, her emotions were bouncing everywhere.. going from anger to hurt to sadness to anger again.  Harry had tried to stop her, had tried to explain, but she couldn’t hear it.  She didn’t want to know any more than she already did.

He _lied_ to her.  He _cheated_ and _betrayed_ her.  He was no longer the man she thought he was.  What was she supposed to do with that knowledge, minutes before she was due to meet his damn family.

When she heard his heavy footsteps coming towards the room just minutes later, her back went rigid and her mask went up as she quickly wiped the tears away to focus on getting her necklace on.  She refused to let him see her tears.

Harry saw her struggling with her mother’s locket for a few moments, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he contemplated whether or not he should let her be.  But he hated the silent treatment more than her actual yelling at him.

“Let me help you,” he said, shuffling his feet towards her back.  But Anna shrugged him off when his hand softly grazed hers as she relentlessly tried to clasp the locket behind her neck.

“I’ve got it.” Her strong voice threw him for a loop.

“Annalisa..” He started again, touching her shoulder for a split second before she shifted away, causing it to fall awkwardly back at his side.

It tore him apart seeing her this way, shying away from his touch and being cold with his presence.  He sighed, agitated with himself and his tendency of fucking things up.

“You’re angry,” he stated as a matter of fact, trying to spark some kind of life in her, snap her back to reality to face him with her thoughts.

He knew what she was thinking.  He knew he had demolished any ounce of trust he had build with her.  He had destroyed that.  He had crushed her.  And now he was left with the repercussions of it, scrambling on how to make it right.

“I’m not,” she weakly responded with eyes tightly shut.  She was trying to block the pain that was demanding to be felt, the aroma of the food making her sick to her stomach.  But it had a way of creeping up on her, no matter how much she stored it away for later.

“You’re upset.”

“No.”

“You’re shutting me out.  Tell me what’s going on in your head right now.” She turned sharply and he swallowed, bracing himself for the hurricane in her amber orbs.

“Oh, am I shutting you out? Am I keeping something important from you, Harry?” He cringed as the words were thrown back at his face with venom.  “Why don’t you just drop it? Forget about it.  It’s nothing.  Does that make it all fucking better?“ She was on fire and it was all to his doing.  He wanted a fight, had been fishing for one ever since he had confessed, and she was damn well taking the bait now.

“Stop,” he said, taking a step forward.  He brought his hands up to cup her face to calm her but she held him at a safe distance by placing her palms on his hard chest.  If she weren’t so angry and confused, the feel of his body heat would melt every sense in her mind.

But she was fuming and nothing was going to stop her now.  Nothing.

“What do you want me to fucking say?! What the fuck do you want from me?!”

“I want you to say the words.”

Her brows furrowed.  ”What words?”

“You don’t trust me.”

“ _Trust_ you?” She parroted bitterly.  ”Are you out of your goddamn mind?!”

“You’re jumping to conclusions that include me breaking every promise I’ve ever made to you.”

“Fuck you,” she spat.  “You took it upon yourself to keep this from me.  You could have avoided this if you just fucking told me you were screwing someone else.“

Harry’s jaw tensed as he clenched his teeth, getting close to the edge.  ”Will you please calm yourself and hear me out?”

“No,” she crossed her arms, closing herself off.

“ _No_?” He questioned, incredulously.

“That’s what I said.”

“Lis-” The doorbell rang out to interrupt him in possibly the most important explanation of events he would ever have to give, frustrating him further.  “Fucking seriously?”

Anna’s eyes changed from fire to panic in a matter of seconds, the reality of this being possibly the worst timing to be meeting the group of guests.  They stood there frozen, rooted to the spot as they just stared at each other, neither one of them knowing what to do.

The bell sounded again, this time more persistent as the people behind the door kept their finger annoyingly pressed against the buzzer.  Harry ran his fingers through his hair that he had just gelled and sighed.  ”That’s them.”

“I gathered,” she muttered, coldly.

“An-”

“Don’t,” she spat, brows together in anger.  “We will discuss this later.  Let’s just,“ she paused, taking a deep breath before exhaling slowly.  “Let’s just fucking smile and act normal.”

He went to put his hand on her lower back to guide her to the door but she walked ahead of him in a fast pace, her skin crawling at the thought of him touching her.

“Right..normal.. Okay, then.”

————-

They adored her instantly, falling into easy conversation throughout the evening.  Anna had bonded with Zara and Kate over cooking tips after they complimented the meal courses Anna had slaved over all day, and even shared a few recipes; while she had spoken animatedly about the latest trends and her musical abilities with Beatrice and Eugenie. They had learned about her military family, something that interested the guys at the table as she retold humorous stories of growing up with older brothers and a protective father.

“All I can do is thank god that this little one is having a rugby player for a father instead of a commander,” Zara joked as she patted her swollen belly.

“I don’t know.. whether you have a military father or a sports player father, I think he will always be overprotective of his little girl,” Anna said.

“I’ll shoot any little asshole that comes anywhere near my princess,” Mike threatened, creating laughs from the group.

“That’s why she’s got her mama to help her sneak out at night,” Zara cheekily said, blowing her husband a kiss at his playful glare.

“If she learns anything from ginger over there, you’re in big trouble.” Harry rolled his eyes at his brother’s jab at him.

“Now how did I know you were going to somehow throw me into this? Zara’s not so innocent either, you know.  And I haven’t corrupted your child yet, have I?”

“Ha!” Kate laughed.  “He does seem to be more rowdy after he’s spent some one on one time with you.”

“The little rascal,” Harry smirked, still feeling like a proud uncle every time George was brought up to him.

“He’s beautiful,” Anna commented, receiving a warm smile from Kate.

“Thank you.. I think he is too but I may be biased.”

“He’s looking more like Kate as he gets older,” Will said.

“Thank god for that,” Harry muttered.

“No,” Kate laughed.  “He makes these really adorable faces that remind me of William.. Here, let me show you some pictures..” Kate reached inside her clutch and pulled out a few new pictures.  “I just took these a few days ago when we went for a stroll in the park.” She passed the pictures around the table, grinning proudly at the aww’s and compliments.

“Awww.. he’s such a heartbreaker already,” Anna said, smiling wide at the sight of the chubby cheeks she wished she could pinch.

“He is!” Kate agreed.

“Now that he’s getting from me and my dashing good looks,” Harry said, taking the photo from Anna.  Their hands touched in the process, sending sparks down both of their arms before she quickly pulled away and rested her hand on her lap, ignoring the pain that was buried deep inside her chest.

“You wish,” Will rolled his eyes.  “We’re just thankful he doesn’t have the red hair.”

“Hey! What’s wrong with red hair?!” Beatrice scowled.

“Nothing, darling,” Dave comforted, rubbing her shoulders before throwing a look at Will, creating more laughter.

“I’m sure George would love to meet you next time,” Kate said towards Anna, causing Anna to stumble over a reply.  She didn’t know how else to react with her relationship with Harry up in the air at the moment other than to offer a polite thanks and that she would love to meet him.

The conversation shifted towards Anna’s nursing career, everyone intently listening on as she answered the numerous questions about her schooling and which hospital she was registered at.

“Great Ormond?!” Beatrice exclaimed, her bright wide eyes fixated on Anna.

Anna giggled at her enthusiasm and nodded.  ”Yeah, I’m a night nurse.”

“I adore the staff there.  I was actually at a charity event back in November.  What a small world.”

Anna took a sip of the white wine Harry had poured her before replying with a nod.  ”Yes, the Reuben foundation! I heard it was a great night.”

“Oh, yeah,” Beatrice laughed.  “I was forced to dance quite a bit.“

“Forced to dance? What a load of crap,” Eugenie muttered, taking a hefty gulp of her fresh glass of wine.

“Shut up, dancing queen.”

Anna was enjoying herself, becoming more comfortable as the evening went on, feeling stupid for stressing over how tonight would go.  They had been nothing but warm welcoming and _normal_.  She scolded herself for thinking otherwise, always seeing Harry as nothing but a normal person.  Why would his family be any different?

“So, Anna..” Kate asked, interjecting the two sisters that were engaged in playful bickering.  “How long have you been at Great Ormond?“

“Wow,” she thought, her brows furrowing together, discreetly counting on her fingers. “Going on five years now.“

“How is it working the night shift? It gets you away from Harry’s snoring,” Zara joked, sticking her tongue out when Harry pulled a face.

“I do not snore, thank you very much.”

“I’ve bunked with him,” Mike started.  “I can confirm that he has a sinus problem during extreme heat.”

“Sodd off,” Harry grumbled.

“The overnight shift is actually not as bad as you would think.  It’s quiet which could be a good and bad thing.  But I find it goes fairly quickly.”

“How the bloody hell did Harry charm such a intelligent woman as yourself? Slip in judgement, I presume?” Will jabbed, grinning when Harry rolled his eyes and groaned.

“Okay, I can see how we are going to casually gang up on me now.”

“Ha!” Anna laughed, squaring her shoulders before throwing a quick glance at Harry.  “It was his stalkerish ways, really.  I became frightened for my own life if I didn’t agree to see him.  He had gotten my email and number without my consent.  God knows what else he would have looked into.“

“Bank accounts and birth records were next,” Harry said.

Anna extended her hand in a ‘there you have it’ gesture.  “Prince Charming, everyone.”

——

While dinner went without a hitch to the others, there was tension and forced smiles between the couple that only Will and Kate had picked up on.  He had known Harry his whole life, was familiar with his behavior when he was sweating over something that was occupying his mind, even when he had the rest of the world fooled.  And Kate had looked to her husband to say something to him early in the evening when she caught him staring intently at his brother, causing her to observe the couple closely as well.

It was the broody expression he held whenever he wasn’t conversing with the others, his lips pressing together whenever he would steal a tense glance at the chatty woman at his side, and the drawn out sigh that escaped him when she would refuse to look his way. There was also the added evidence of Anna holding her breath and shifting in her seat uncomfortably whenever Harry would brush against her in the most innocent way.

Something was definitely up.

———

“That went well,” Harry commented, following Anna into the living area.  She didn’t reply and Harry knew they were back to where they had been right before the doorbell interrupted them.  “They seemed very keen with you..“ Nothing.  “Kate even asked for the gravy recipe.” Silence.  “And Bea and Genie invited you to lunch next week before they leave for New York.“

Anna wanted to scream at him to shut up, the chitchat only annoying her as he tried his best to get her to talk to him.  She wanted to talk, needed to even.  But nonsense chatter wasn’t what she had in mind.  Sitting down slowly on the soft cushion of the sofa, she evened her breaths and cleared her throat while slipping her shoes off.

“I’m ready to hear you out.” Glancing up to meet his eyes before averting her attention elsewhere, she waved her hand towards the coffee table and Harry slowly made his way to sit on the hard surface.  He leaned forward, clasping and unclasping his hands in a nervous habit.  “I want the truth.“

A sharp intake of air was heard as Harry gathered his thoughts.  ”What do you want to know?”

“Everything.  Start from the beginning.  Who is she exactly?”

He licked his dry lips, tasting the remnants of the sweet wine he had consumed.  ”We met through Bea.  They were friends for a bit and I knew of her for awhile before we met. Chelsy and I had just come to terms that our relationship had run it’s course and we no longer felt the love we once did for each other.  I was… _heartbroken_ to say the least.  I had been with this person for years and I didn’t know how to grasp who I was without her.”

He paused to let that soak in for her, wanting to make sure all of that was settling okay with her before continuing.  She nodded, not once meeting his intense gaze. “Okay, I get that.”

“So when we ended officially, we knew it was for good. I got engrossed with drinking too much and partying and that worried my friends and my family. That’s when Bea introduced me to Cressida.  She had hoped that we would become an instant item, and we did to some extent.  It was more physical than anything as I tried to mend a broken heart. But I was still so unhappy even after I felt okay with the break up.  I was still longing for someone that would give me that.. _feeling_ for the lack of a better word.”

Scooting closer to the edge of the table, he reached forward and cautiously grasped her hands in his, willing her to look at him.  But she couldn’t.  Not just yet.  Instead, she let him hold her trembling hands as he finished explaining.

“Then I met the most incredible, beautiful, _loving_ woman who was the missing puzzle piece to complete my empty life.  She made me feel good and loved and I was finally… _happy_.”

“Oh, another woman I don’t know about?” She muttered, sarcasm dripping in her cold voice.

“Annalisa…” Harry squeezed her hands and sighed, tilting his head to one side. “I’m in love with you.  I never fell so hopelessly in love with someone as quickly as I did with you. From that first moment I saw you in that red dress, I knew you were something precious, a breath of fresh air when I felt like I was suffocating and gasping to breathe.”

He paused again, clearing his throat.  “I wanted to email you that same night and everyday thereafter but I waited.”

“Almost two weeks, to be exact.”

“Yes, that’s right.  Do you know why?” She shrugged, nonchalant.  “Because I was still in some sort of relationship with Cressida and I had to wait to pursue you until I ended things with her.  I didn’t want to be that guy that started something life changing with you while I strung her along.“

“But it was okay to fuck her after the fact we were in a relationship?”

“I didn’t sleep with her until you broke up with me.”

She rolled her eyes, not letting him see the new information lifted a tremendous weight off of her.  It still didn’t change the fact he slept with her.  “Right, so you waited until we were on a break so you could screw her.”

“That’s _not_ what happened,” Harry sternly said before lowering his voice to a gentle tone. “Anna, I didn’t know that at the time it was a temporary break, did I? You were so set on your issues of being with someone that you told me you couldn’t do it.  You couldn’t be with me.  You didn’t _want_ me.”

She looked up suddenly with his last words, her face softened.  ”I never stopped wanting you, Harry.  Not for one second.  It had nothing to do with that.”

“Well, you see.. My mind became unclear after a copious amount of booze that night.  I had a million and one insecurities rise up and I couldn’t deal.”

“I’m sorry.  I truly am.  That’s not what I intended.”

“I know it’s not.  But I’ve gone through that so many times before.  And the thought of not being with you ever again…it _shattered_ me, Annalisa.  So I drowned myself in whiskey after whiskey…”

“And that’s when you went to Cressida?”

“ _No_ ,” he firmly denied, playing with her hands.  ”No, I did not go and seek her.  She showed up at the pub I was at when I was already out of my mind and…things just escalated from there.  I don’t really remember much from then.”

“You slept with her once then?” His face contorted into panic and crushing guilt as he shook his head.  She saw his Adam’s apple bob up and down nervously, speeding up her heart.  “It wasn’t just one night?“

“No..”

The pain was shooting through her again, paralyzing her as she screwed up her eyes tightly.

“How many times?” He shrugged weakly, pressing his lips together.  “How many times, Harry?“

“Up until we agreed to be friends.”

“Oh.”

“After we started the friends thing, I broke all ties with her.  And I was certain that was over until she showed up on New Years completely sloshed and demanding to speak to me.  She was calling today to apologize for acting like a fool and to wish us the best.  She said if I was happy then she was okay to move on.”

So that explained that.

“So, what? You used her?”

“We used each other,” he stated, simply, not going into greater detail.  ”If it’s any consolation, I thought about you the whole time she and I were together.  You were the only one on my mind, Annalisa.”

“Bullshit.”

“Wh-”

“ _No,_ no… _You_ were on my mind the entire time we were apart.  I was at home in my own bed… _alone_ _,_ crying over us and how fucked up I am.  I was dealing with the repercussions of my actions… hurting while I thought about you, while I dreamed about you when I allowed myself sleep.   _You_ were the only thing on my mind as I tried to get my shit together.  So don’t you dare feed me lines about me being the only one occupying your mind while your dick was getting acquainted with someone else.”

“Anna..”

“I get that we weren’t together, Harry.  That was my doing and I regret that.  But the difference between you and me is that the thought of another man’s hands on me _sickens_ me because all I want is you.  You went out and fucked someone else the moment we were done.. That _kills me_.”

The knife in his heart twisted.  ”I’m sorry..”

“I thought you were different.  But you’re not.  You’re just like every other guy,” she said, mostly to herself.

Silence settled between them, both breathing shallowly as they kept their eyes locked, both pained by her last declaration.

“Are we going to be okay?” Harry asked, his stomach in knots.

“I..” She didn’t know how to answer.  In her heart, she was sure the answer was yes.  But in her current state of mind, she couldn’t answer truthfully without having some process time. “I need to be alone for a bit.  Can you respect that, please?“

Harry released the breath he had been holding, nodding as he felt his heart breaking all over again.  ”Of course, yeah.  Do you want me to drive you home?”

“No, it’s fine,” she answered. “I just need a little bit of time away from you right now.  I’ll be in the other room.“

“Okay.  I love you.”

She didn’t reply as she stood and released her hands from his tight grasp before walking away from him, leaving a disheartened Harry.

———

She replayed the conversation over and over in her head as if she thought it over enough, the outcome would somehow miraculously change.  But it didn’t.  He had slept with someone else.

The sting of tears were becoming too much and Anna bowed her head in defeat as she let the teardrops roll down her cheeks and splat onto the marble floor.  A whimper escaped her, concealing a tortured cry that was buried deep in her chest.  The pain coursed through her, crushing her wind pipes, leaving her gasping for air.

All she could see was Harry with another woman.. loving someone who was not her with his hands and mouth, tangled in foreign sheets while Anna was home, losing sleep and crying over him.

Anger replaced the hurt, pushing the shattering pain away.  Who she was more angry with, she didn’t know.  Some of it was directed towards him for his way of coping with their failed relationship.  But when it came down to it, she hated herself.

It was her fault.  If she hadn’t told him to go, if she hadn’t let her fears take over.. if she hadn’t destroyed them then he would never have gone to find solace in someone else’s arms.  He would have been at home—with her—while they did what lovers do.

And now she was faced with a decision.

———-

Harry spent the whole two hours by himself on the sofa she had occupied before she left him, hunched over with bent elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.  For the first half hour, he took a call from his brother.

_“Trouble in paradise?” Will asked while his wife busied herself with getting George ready for bed._

_“She knows about Cressida,” Harry sulked._

_Will hissed with a cringe.  ”Shit.  I’m guessing she’s not handling it that well?”_

_“Right this second? Fuck knows, really.  She doesn’t want to talk to me.”_

_“Has she gone home?”_

_“No, she’s around here somewhere… Asked for some space.  I offered to take her home but..”_

_“She declined?” Will sounded optimistic.  “I would take that as a good sign.  Have you actually discussed what happened? Surely she can’t be too upset if you didnt really cheat on her.“_

_“Yeah..I explained and she knows we were broken up when it happened but she had some valid points.” He sighed heavily.  “I don’t really blame her for fucking hating me.  I would enjoy some time away from me, too.“_

_“Hey, don’t beat yourself over this.  You weren’t thinking rationally.  Which is understandable if you think about it.  I mean she did end things..”_

_“I know but…I can’t help but be so disappointed in myself.  I fuck up, I’m known for that-”_

_“Har-”_

_“But this is the one damn thing I don’t want to fuck up, Will.  I love her.  You know how long it’s taken me to get to this point in my life.  I’m done with all the bullshit…I just can’t find a way to quit fucking up.”_

_“Listen, it’s no secret the mistakes we all have made.  It’s in the bloody papers for the world to dissect, for Christ sake! Kate and I haven’t always been smooth sailing and we still have our moments.  That’s what being in an adult relationship is about.  You won’t fuck this up.”_

_Will offered up some more brotherly advice, advising him to give her space as she processed his actions. He told him it would be fine, reassuring him with the fact that she stayed at his flat instead of wanting to go back to hers._

But after they hung up, Harry was left alone with his insecurities once again.  He didn’t know if he was able to survive another break up, especially over something like this.  He had hurt her, just like she had hurt him.  While he knew that was a poor excuse, he couldn’t help but hold onto that out of fear; fear that he had ruined them forever.

Threading his long fingers through his messy hair, he looked up and was startled with her unannounced presence.  Anna stood at the entrance of the room, watching him as he battled with his inner thoughts, something she had been doing too.

“Hi,” he said, swallowing back his nerves, his chest tight as he fought to even his breaths at the look of her puffy eyes.

“Hi,” she softly replied.  She bit her lip shyly and pushed herself away from the frame to walk towards him, holding his gaze.

Anna climbed onto his lap and buried her newly washed face in his neck, Harry instantly wrapping his arms around her tightly, his head leaning on hers.  ”I fucked up.  I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“I’m sorry, too.  You were right.  We weren’t together and I shouldn’t have doubted you about that..”

“But it was a complete dick move on my part and I should be more fucking mature than to handle it that way.  I want you to know—I need you to know—that I would never cheat on you, Annalisa.” Anna sighed and clung to him tighter, praying they would never have to utter the cringe worthy promise again.  ”I don’t want to lose you.”

“I know.”

“Do you hate me?”

Her heart ached at how small his voice was, guilt stinging her for making him think she did.  “I could never hate you, Harry,” she said in a breathy whisper.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked while soothingly rubbing her back.

Anna was silent for a minute.  ”A little bit.  But I’ll get over it.”

“Would flowers and a box of chocolates help?” A smile graced his features when he felt the puff of air on his neck from her half hearted laugh.  “I’ll even throw in a bag of peach rings as a bonus.”

“I’m holding you to it.”

“You got it, babe…Are we okay?”

“No more secrets?” she mumbled against his skin.

“No more secrets.”

Anna lifted her head and peered into his hopeful eyes.  “I love you, too.”

Harry beamed, relief washing over him when she returned his affections from earlier.  She smiled back at him, the first genuine smile that was directed at him all evening.  He brought his hands to cup her face as she leaned on him, their chests pressed together before their lips met in a slow sweet kiss.

They were okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)


	12. How Revenge Backfired

_They were okay._

Or so she said.

Harry had known Annalisa for quite some time now, becoming familiar with her coping mechanisms as he witnessed them before.  She was passive.  He could hurt her in so many ways and she would get angry for a bit before sweeping her feelings under the rug.  She ignored pain, ignored hurt, and buried it deep inside the corners of her mind where they were often neglected.

So weeks later when Anna was still acting like everything was fine, Harry was on edge as he held onto his suspicions, waiting for the moment when shit would hit the fan.  Never being one to lack in the romance department, he had done everything in the book to earn her forgiveness.  The evidence could be found in the various vases of the flower bouquets he kept sending to her flat, each accompanied by a note that he had chicken scratched the lyrics to a Michael Buble song, knowing exactly how to make her smile.

And it did.  Harry smiled in triumphant whenever he felt his mobile vibrate in his pocket with a selfie of her and whatever peach colored flower he sent that day.  She would grace him with either a funny face—her eyes crossed and tongue out—or a happy smile with a thumb up.

He treated her like a princess, the thought tickling as the headlines ‘Her Prince and His Soon-to-be Princess’ that the papers continuously printed flashed in his mind.  He wined and dined her, overwhelmed her with flashy gifts—that she refused to accept—and pampered her with salt and bubble baths to unwind after a long day at the hospital.  He even went as far as getting up at the crack of dawn to surprise her with a mocha latte at the entrance of the hospital, to which she ran into his open arms.  He did all these things without her asking him to, claiming he was a hopeless romantic.

But Anna wasn’t buying it.  She never voiced it, instead made sure to shower him with appreciation, avoiding the motive of his actions for the past few weeks.

Sighing loudly, Anna pushed open the door to her flat and kicked it shut, immediately slipping her sore feet out of the pink flats she had been wearing for over twelve hours. The floral scent that was swirling around her tickled her nostrils as they flared, leaving Anna in a confused state. She had come to expect the perfume of flowers when getting home, the flat being decorated with them for weeks now, but this was a new fragrance.

Her sleepy eyes scanned around the tidy place, chuckling as she envisioned Harry gathering up the dirty dishes and beer bottles from the night before when they had Maggie and Skippy over for dinner.  She tried to pick up on anything unfamiliar that would clarify the strong scent, expecting to see a brand new vase with fresh flowers, but came up empty handed.

“Harry?” She called out while tossing her keys on the breakfast bar.  She relied on her senses as she sniffed her way to the bedroom where Harry was scattering rose petals all over the bed.  The curtains at the windows were shielding any evidence of the early morning light, allowing the several lit candles around to illuminate the room in a warm glow.

Anna felt her stomach flip flop when Harry looked up suddenly, a cute pink tint spreading across his cheeks as he grinned sheepishly.  “Morning, peaches.”

His husky greeting only made the butterflies in her lower belly flutter more wildly.  “Good morning, Captain,” she replied from the door, a small smile tugging on her lips.  “What’s all this?”

Harry straightened out his back and stood upright as his eyes flicked around the room and he let out a half laugh at the overdone display.  “Erm.. thought you’d enjoy a little pampering..” He said with a shrug.  “Is it too much?”

“No,” Anna answered softly.  Although she knew he was trying to butter her up, she couldn’t help but feel touched by the gesture.  “This is really sweet.”

A broad smile took over his face as he beamed at her.  “Come,” he commanded, outstretching his hand.  Anna walked slowly to him and trustingly placed her delicate hand in his, feeling fuzzy all over as he ducked his head to place a lingering kiss on her full lips.  “Hi.”

“Hi,” Anna whispered back.  Without warning, Harry dropped her hand to finger the hem of her scrub shirt before lifting it up over her head and tossing it aside.

“It’s not what you think..” He met her questioning gaze, lifting up his brows to match hers and licked his lips at the same time as he undid her scrub pants strings.

“And what am I thinking?” Anna pulled her lower lip into her mouth and sucked when he teased her by inching his hands under the waistband of her scrubs, smoothing the skin he found there, as he never took his attention away from her, wanting to see every emotion flash in her golden eyes.

“That I’m trying to seduce you…” He lowered his mouth to leave tiny kisses at the corners of her mouth as his palms found her bottom, her knickers being the only barrier between him and her heat.

Sliding her hands up his arms to lock securely behind his neck, Anna shifted her head slightly to the left to capture his lips in a chaste kiss.  ”You’re not? The rose petals and the massive amount of candles with the shades pulled shut tell me a different story.”

Harry chuckled against her mouth.  “Do you love me?”

“Yes,” she answered without hesitation, breathlessly.

Harry pushed the scrubs off of her, letting them pool at her feet and nipped at her full lips.  “Do you trust me?”

“Mm,” she hummed, carefully stepping out of the scrubs before he kicked them to the side.

Trust didn’t come easy for Anna and she spent time in her therapy sessions discussing it, but she had come a long way.  She trusted him not to cheat behind her back, she trusted him enough to not worry about his whereabouts when he was away on business or out with the lads.  But did she fully believe him when he promised to never leave her? To never get bored of her?

Not really.  Trusting him completely would be something she wasn’t sure she was capable of.  Not yet anyway.

“Ah!” Anna squealed when Harry swept her off her feet quite literally with an arm under her knees and carried her to the bed, placing her down gently on her back.  “My muscle man…”

He chortled and lightly pinched her side.  “Turn over, love.”

“So demanding.. That’s kinda sexy on you.”

“I know.”

“Cocky bastard,” Anna giggled as she turned over on her stomach, her chin resting on her folded arms.  “Are you about to have your way with me?” She asked to break the silence that had settled over them, watching closely as Harry used the remote on the nightstand to fill the room with a peaceful melody before he snatched the small bottle that he had bribed Dave to purchase for him.

“Ha! Maybe if you’re lucky..” He gave her a side wink and flipped the cap open, the lavender scent instantly filling their nostrils.  “But maybe we should start off with a massage first..”

Her breath hitched in her throat and she pressed her lips together, eagerly awaiting his next move.  “I’m feeling lucky already..”

The bed dipped with the added weight as Harry settled into a kneeling position beside her.  “You should.. I don’t do this for just anyone.”

“Not even for your army buddies?” A slight gasp escaped her lips when Harry unclasped her bra and shoved the material to the sides.  “Whoa there, soldier..”

Harry grinned in reply, never uttering a word as he poured a trail of the perfumed oil down her bare back before smoothing it evenly with his hands in slow and long strokes.

Anna sighed contently, the stress from the hectic night melting away instantly as Harry lovingly kneaded her flesh, making her feel good all over.  No more was her mind on the hospital and the test results that would be waiting for her in just a few hours, no more was she seeing vitals numbers on charts when she closed her exhausted eyes.  The insecurities that still plagued her, the concern of her mother’s quivering voice when she spoke to her last, the constant worry over her brother’s well being in a dangerous land…It all flew away from her mind and tense shoulders as she meditated and focused on the here and now, Harry being the one to make it possible.

“You seemed quite stressed last night..” He observed, recalling her strained tone and the way she seemed preoccupied when he went over his new schedule with her during her break.  “What’s on your mind?“

“Just normal stuff, I guess..” She mumbled, whimpering when he began working on a knot on her left shoulder.  “God..That feels so fucking good..“

“Am I winning brownie points for this?”

“Mmm..brownie…”

Harry laughed, sweeping the curls that fell loose from the hair elastic to the side so he could massage her neck.  ”What’s up, sweet tooth?”

“I don’t know..all I can think about right now is how much I adore your hands.. How did you get to be this incredible at massages?” She paused then spoke quickly.  “No, don’t answer that!“

“Ha! Well, I told you I don’t give out massages for just anyone..”

“Oh god, please don’t..”

“Yeah..let’s not go there..” Anna huffed in response, a sigh following as he applied pressure down her back.

Snatching a petal, Harry felt the silky smoothness between his forefinger and thumb and smirked.  With his free hand resting at the dip of her lower back, he glided the rose petal in a zig zag down her back like a whispering kiss.

“Mmm..” Harry licked his dry lips and swallowed back a groan that was in his chest, Anna’s soft sounds of approval effecting him as he fought a war within himself, desperate not to take things further than he had originally planned to keep this about her.  But he was like a rubber band that stretched further with every moan and every whimper that vibrated out of her tempting mouth.

There was only so much resistance a rubber band could take before it snapped.

What broke him was her small giggle when the petal tickled the back of her knee, her skin rising in goosebumps.  ”Harry..that tickles..”

Harry let out a low growl and flipped her on her back, hovering above her.  There was a fire blazing in his eyes, darkened with the intangible want and need, and his harsh breaths were blowing on her face, further heating her insides.

“Fuck, I want you..” He said in a strangled tone.

“Har-”

His mouth crashed to hers before she could complete saying his name, and neither could tell whose moan belonged to whom when their tongues tangled tangled together.  Anna fingered the necklace that dangled off his neck, causing the loose straps of her bra to lift and expose a breast, the cool air hardening her pink tip.

Harry must’ve sensed it by the slight gasp he captured because he palmed her breast, kneading the softness he found while her erect tip drove him mad.  His hardness pressed firmly against her hip and Anna instantly pushed against him.  When Harry didn’t budge, only pushed his hips more fully on her, she tore her mouth from his and inhaled big amounts of air.

“Harry..s-stop..”

As soon as the word stuttered out of her, he peered down at her flushed face.

“What’s wrong?” He panted out, concern etched across his features.  “Am I hurting you?“

“No..n-no.. I..” She trailed, her eyes darting between his.  She looked utterly scared and confused and it only increased his worry of her well being.  “I..have to pee.“

Harry’s brows furrowed together and he froze, still hovered above her and trying to even his breaths.  When he made no attempt to pull away, just stared back at her, Anna placed her palms flat on his chest and pushed again, making him sit back on his heels.

“Sorry,” she mumbled and rolled off the bed, holding her bra to her chest to feel less exposed and vulnerable.

As soon as her form disappeared from view, Harry sighed in frustration and angrily rubbed his face before tugging on his hair.

“Fuck…She’s still pissed.”

He knew it.

Harry had a knack for reading people really well.  He had his whole life.  He often wondered if it was a trait he had been born with or something he had picked up since his early days of being in the public eye.  Regardless, it came in handy not only for weeding out the fake appearances of friends that held ulterior motives, but also in his personal relationships.

Harry recognized immediately how Anna kept coming up with the poorest excuse for pulling away from him whenever they reached a certain point of intimacy.  He had expected her to turn away from him completely following the day he almost lost her, but never would he have guessed it would be going on this long.

They hadn’t had sex in three weeks.

While that wasn’t uncommon for other couples in serious relationships, it was the second longest time they had gone without being intimate, the first being when they were broken up and he was away.  Other than that, they normally had sex four or five times a week and occasionally more than once in the same day.  And now after the confession weeks ago… nothing.

What kept Harry trying was the fact that she wasn’t shying away from him, she was still very much touchy feely with him.  Never did she once cringe at his affections, she never pulled back from his kisses or little touches.  Hell, she had even initiated it herself.  But whenever things would be heating up, she would abruptly dismiss it from going any further.

Harry had never been more sexually frustrated in his life.

He was a man after all and had urges like any other.  And although he did think about sex throughout the day, it wasn’t as often as the so-called myths women tended to believe were true.  But these days, he found himself drifting in the middle of important meetings as his mind wandered more and more.

———

Anna inhaled deeply and counted to four before releasing the breath on another count of four while her hands were planted on the edges of the sink, her knuckles turning white.

“Okay..okay..You can do this..You’re stronger than he is with this..” She gave herself a pep talk with her head bowed.  “Get your shit together, Anna.  It’s just one more week..Just..one..more..fucking..week and you’d have won this bullshit game.“

She raised her head and checked her reflection, taken aback by how disgruntled and stressed she looked.  ”I can’t fucking do this,” she groaned.

Picking up her mobile that she had snatched on her way to lock herself in the washroom, she frantically called the mastermind behind this mess.

——-

_“Do you know Cressida?” Anna asked, watching her friend’s face closely to pick up on a reaction._

_“I know of her, why?” Maggie responded, keeping up a nonchalant appearance as she climbed off the treadmill._

_“Have you hung out with her?”_

_Maggie eyed Anna from above her water bottle as she took a sip, noting the way Anna was nervously peeling the label off her own bottle.  Something was not right._

_“Once or twice like a year ago… She’s friends with Bea and our paths crossed some.”_

_“Um..what does she look like?”_

_“Why do you ask?”_

_“Curious is all.” Anna shrugged, never averting her eyes from the distraction of peeling the label._

_Maggie cleared her throat and picked up a towel to dab her face.  ”Blonde.. Young and naturally skinny if I had to guess,” she said before muttering “the bitch” jokingly._

_“Ha!” Anna laughed, tossing the bottle on top of her gym bag before picking up her mobile to check the time._

_6:03pm_

_Harry should be at dinner now with his mates, celebrating Jake’s stag before the wedding that was taking place in exactly a week.  It was just yesterday that she had to process this new information about Harry’s past with some girl she had never met and now she had to spend the weekend without him as he skied with his male friends in Switzerland._

_In a way, it had been good timing as it allowed herself to regroup without his influence.  She wanted to move past this and she had for the most part.  But whenever her mind went there, went back to Harry enjoying someone else’s company while she dwelled over their failed relationship, a knife pierced through her heart._

_She hadn’t forgiven him as for there was nothing really to be forgiven for as he didn’t do something that required it.  But she couldn’t help the devastation she felt at times._

_“Anna..”_

_Anna looked up from her mobile, blushing at being caught in a daze._

_“Sorry..got lost in another world for a bit there.  What did you say?”_

_“What’s up with all the Cressida talk?”_

_Anna contemplated on discussing this with her because she thought her strong reaction to this was petty.  But they had become really close and Anna had shared many things with Maggie that she never thought she would have._

_Taking a deep breath in preparation, she decided to confide in her and get another woman’s opinion.  ”Harry slept with her.” When Maggie only nodded as if she knew, Anna kicked herself for not being more clear.  ”Back in November.”_

_Maggie’s eyes bugged out and her mouth dropped open in shock.  ”He did what?!”_

_“Yeah.. He said he was pissed at me for ending us the way I did and his initial reaction was to drink it away.  I guess she showed up at the pub and.. Well, you can guess how that ends.”_

_Maggie stared at her with the same shocked expression, trying to wrap her mind around this information.  ”What?! Is he bloody mad?!”_

_“Yes..and no?” Anna lifted a shoulder in a weak attempt to bring some humor into the conversation._

_“I’m going to chop his fucking bollocks off!” Maggie threatened, catching some of the other gym members attention._

_“Shh!” Anna scolded, forcing a smile as she nodded at the strangers’ greetings.  “Mags!“_

_“Oh, who fucking cares about them? Anna.. Are you okay? Are you two…”_

_“Oh, goodness! Yes, I’m okay and we are okay,” she confirmed quickly.  “I’m…I don’t know, Mags.“_

_“How did you find out? How did you react rather?!”_

_Anna filled her in on everything, from the way and time she had found out to how she secluded herself in his apartment before talking it out and spending the rest of the night cuddled on his sofa._

_“I feel…foolish.”_

_“You feel foolish?! No, Anna, Harry should be the one to feel that way.  That was a shitty move and I swear to god if he even fucking looks at me in the next few days, I can’t be accountable for the many ways I’ll mess up his pretty face.”_

_“Stop,” Anna said with an airy laugh, shaking her head.  “He’s really sorry and he feels awful for it.  I know it.  I could see how torn up he was about it and..technically, he didn’t really do anything wrong.“_

_“Didn’t do anything wrong?! Will you listen to yourself?! He fucked some bitch just hours after you broke up.”_

_“Yes,” Anna nodded.  “But that was because I broke up with him and it was his way of dealing with it.“ Maggie sighed in exasperation.  “Do I agree with his way of coping? No, I truly don’t.  But Harry doesn’t agree with the way I cope with shit either.”_

_“Bastard,” her friend spat._

_“Sure it was a dick thing to do but I just want to get over this..”_

_“You’re not then? Cause it sounds like you’re defending him and that could only mean everything’s totally fine.”_

_“I guess I’m..cautious? Or maybe worried? I don’t know.. It’s almost like it’s bringing some validation to one of my fears of him getting bored of me and leaving me for someone…blonde.”_

_“Anna..” Maggie began, her voice softening as she placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder.  “Harry adores you.  He’s not going to grow sick of you or stop loving you.  You make him incredibly happy.  And you’re exactly the type of woman he’s been looking for this whole time…”_

_“Right but what if-”_

_“Stop right there! No what ifs.  You’re the one he wants to spend forever with.  You’re the only one that he wants.”_

_Sighing, Anna let it go for the time being, nodding along with Maggie._

_“And now the fun begins..” Maggie said with a devious smirk._

_Anna eyed her suspiciously.  ”What do you mean? Maggie, I don’t want to stir up any-“_

_“No, no, no.  It’s your turn to get back at him.  Tease him..make him think you want him so bloody much until he’s all hot and bothered and just..” She fake yawned before grinning like a Cheshire Cat._

_“That’s not-”_

_“Look at it this way, it’ll be a good way to ‘move on’ from this shitty thing he did.”_

_“I don’t know… I don’t know if I’m sexy enough to-”_

_“I’m about to tape your mouth shut if you keep talking like that.  One: you are a sexy goddess that any man is lucky enough to even look at you.  Two: you are a strong woman who is capable of bringing her man to his hands and knees, begging for mercy.  And three: being blonde is overrated.”_

_Anna guffawed.  ”I would think all the sex you’ve been having would soften up your heart,” she said with a wink._

_“Oh, please,” Maggie said, waving her hand.  “This is my specialty.  No amount of sex can change my revengeful ways.  You’ve gotta make him work for it, Anna.  Make him beg you for it.“_

_“Oh, really? Please tell me how much pleading did it take for Skip to get you right where he wanted?”_

_Maggie giggled happily.  ”He did plenty of that…on his hands and knees…he worked real har-“_

_“Ha! You’re relentless.”_

_“So I’ve been told.”_

_Anna phone buzzed in her hands and she instantly felt a pang of guilt at the sight of Harry calling her.  He had no idea what was coming._

_“Hello, my darling.  You’re on speaker so no dirty talk.”_

_“Ew, please!” Anna giggled at Maggie’s scrunched up face._

_“Mags, are you cockblocking me?” Harry’s unappreciative voice filtered through the speaker, causing the two women to share panicked looks._

_“Is he here?!” Anna mouthed, frantically looking around for any sign of the gingered locks._

_“Shit,” Maggie muttered, peering at each male figure through slitted eyes._

_“Hello? Have I lost you?”_

_“Uh..n-no..sorry..” Anna stumbled.  “Where are you?“_

_“Getting ready to head out for dinner with the lads.” He furrowed his brows at the lengthy sighs of relief he heard from both of them before shrugging it off.  “Soooo have I told you lately how much I love you?“_

_“Have I told you there’s no one else above you?”_

_Harry chuckled.  ”You fill my heart with gladness.”_

_“Take away all my sadness.”_

_“Ease my troubles…that’s what you do.”_

_Maggie clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes at the cheesy interaction she just witnessed.   ”Rod Stewart? Really? You were made for each other.”_

_After finishing up the sweet call from Harry, Anna began to have doubts about going through with it, to which Maggie immediately directed her attention back to the reasoning for it._

_“Let’s face it, he will be eating out of the palm of your hand in no time.  Trust me.”_

—-

_Trust me._

Anna huffed, growing increasingly annoyed at herself as she waited for her friend to pick up.  Why did she always listen to Maggie? She always ended up kicking herself in the ass for doing so.

“Hel-”

“I can’t do it, Mags.  It’s been three weeks and I’m close to humping him like a wild dog..”

“What?!” Maggie said with a laugh.  “Anna..“

“I’m breaking! I can’t take it anymore.  Please remind me why I always fucking listen to you and your bright ideas?!”

“Okay,” Maggie chuckled.  “Take some deep breaths.  You’ve done well so far and from what I’ve heard, he’s about to weep.“

“Shit.. He’s talked to the guys about this?!” Anna palmed her heated face, embarrassed beyond belief.  “Unbelievable.“

“Well, of course he has! He talks to the lads like us girls gossip about them.  It’s natural.”

Anna remained silent, focusing on her breathing technique as she felt the throb between her legs that seemed to never go away lately.

“Anna?”

“I just want to have sex, Maggie!” She cried, banging her head repeatedly on the mirror.  “I need to have good sex!“

“You can do this!”

“Ugh…I hate you..”

Maggie giggled before a beep sounded through the connection.  ”Oh, that’s Skip.  I told him to call me when he was on his way.  I’m surprising him with a new toy I found on the inter-“

“Wait,” Anna interrupted.  “You’re having sex?!“

“Uh..duh? Why?”

“You can but I can’t?!” She asked, bewildered.

“I..wh-uh..erm..” Maggie stumbled.

“Erm..uh..gah nothing!” Anna mocked.  “I’m done with this game.“

“No! Ann-”

“I’m fucking him,” she said sharply before hanging up.

Anna nodded, mentally patting herself on the back for stepping up and taking control back.  She should have gone with her instincts all along.

But she couldn’t deny it hadn’t been fun at the beginning, thinking of her favorites.

One of her forever favorites being when he treated her with the most moist chocolate lava cake and she practically made out with the fork.  The ache in her core became unbearable as she remembered the memorized look in his twinkling blues when she moaned as soon as her lips closed around the fork.  She could hear the gulp of air he took when she made a show out of sliding the fork slowly out of her mouth all the while sighing happily.

_“Fuck..this is heavenly.”_

_Harry had begun to pant and she did a little victory dance inside, his reaction empowering her as she took it a step further and licked the fork clean.  He had eagerly reached across the table and caught the crumbs of chocolate that were at the corner of her mouth, Anna holding his gaze as he brought his thumb back to suck on the pad._

_“Mmm..” He agreed and smirked when Anna’s eyes darkened._

_She had almost given it up right then and there, but she hated losing—even if it was a game that he didn’t have a clue they were playing._

_So to get the ball back over in her court, she slipped her foot out of her heeled shoe and teased him by rubbing the skin she found under his slacks, toeing his socks down to feel more of him._

_Harry had coughed in surprised and she innocently asked him if he was alright.  He didn’t answer her and she didn’t let up as she caressed him with her bare foot._

_“Do you want a piece, baby?” She asked him in a sultry voice._

_“Erm..y-yes..”_

_While she watched him take what she offered, her lower lip had sucked in her mouth where she chewed in an attempt to keep her cool.  He had the same chocolate remnants at the corner of his mouth but instead of cleaning it the same way he had done for her, she pushed herself slightly up, careful not to trip and fall onto the table below, and slowly brought her lips to brush the corner of his, her tongue poking out to lick the chocolate._

_“It’s taking everything in me not to throw you down on this table and fuck the hell out of you,” he had whispered just before she could pull away.  Anna felt her heart race but smiled and winked at him as if he hadn’t effected her in any way._

_“How fast can you clear this place to make that happen, Captain Wales?”_

_“Fuck, Annalisa.. You’re going to get it as soon as I get you alone and out of that gorgeous dress.”_

_“Promise?” She asked, biting her lip as her foot resumed it’s position traveling up his leg.  She got courageous when he groaned and made her way up to where she could feel the stirring underneath his trousers.  “Mmm.. That feels promising..“_

_“Shit..”_

_By the time they got home that night, Anna complained about a headache and they spent the rest of the evening in bed, Harry lovingly rubbing her back to sleep._

—

Another favorite would have to be when a week later, Harry drove them to a lake in a town she couldn’t think of now and after reviewing the stars (Harry pointing and naming all the constellations to her much delight, even though he faked some of it), they made the journey back to his place.

_Anna busied herself with the radio, snickering at some of the programmed stations Harry kept for easy listening; sports, heavy metal, pop radio, rock, and more sports.  “Predictable..” She muttered, throwing Harry a coy smile when he protested._

_She felt herself cracking, wanting to make love to him under the stars after he made the giggles escape her effortlessly.  She was scrambling with getting the upper hand._

_An idea struck her then._

_Harry sucked in a hefty breath when he felt her hand creep onto his thigh, dangerously close to his groin area, while her other hand stayed fumbling with the radio.  She squeezed his inner thigh lightly and he wouldn’t have noticed it if he wasn’t so wound up after fifteen days of no sex._

_He chanced a peek at her and almost died when he saw her shirt had dipped lower and he could see the curve of her breasts that called out to him, begging for him to touch._

_“Are you alright?” Anna concernly asked, her hand beginning a soothing circular motion on his thigh when he fell into a coughing fit._

_“Erm..y-yeah.. yeah, fine..”_

_She lifted a brow and squeezed his flesh again, ignoring the look of discomfort that flashed across his features.  “Are you sure, darling?”_

_“Yes, yes.. Of course..”_

_After a few more moments, Anna settled on a country station and cuddled up to his side, her fingertips creating patterns on his knee the entire drive home, grinning to herself at his tense posture._

_By the time they reached Kensington, she had been stifling yawns and voiced her anticipation of getting cozy under his blankets, sleep the only thing being on her mind to much Harry’s disappointment._

—

There were other times that stood out in her mind when she came close to admitting defeat.  But the time she was certain it was all going to be over would be when they were cuddled on her sofa, Harry winning over the remote as he wanted to catch up on missed episodes of Breaking Bad.

_Her leg was carelessly thrown over his lap and his hand curled on the curve of her hip.  The tips of her fingers were softly stroking the fuzz of his chest absentmindedly as her focus was on the television, her head resting in the crook of his neck._

_It was her first day off after working eight days straight and she wanted nothing more than to get lost in him and let him help her unwind._

_But he hadn’t begged like Maggie said he would’ve by now.  She was beginning to think it was never going to happen, but there was no way she was going down without a fight._

_So she tried all she could think of to get him on his hands and knees so she could forget the silly game and have her way with him._

_With a flattened hand, she rubbed small circles on his chest before switching to long open strokes, passing his nipples that hardened instantly.  Harry tickled the skin of her hip then shifted to her bottom, palming a cheek over her boyshorts._

_“Hmm..” Anna hummed softly, working her way down to tickle his stomach, circling slowly around his belly button, wetness pooling incredibly fast._

_She felt the stiffness of his erection and it only encouraged her to finger his happy trail, twirling the hair there._

_Feeling bold, her lips pressed on his heated skin, right above his nipple and she whispered her observation.  ”You feel hot..”_

_Harry squeezed her cheek before replying.  ”You’re hot.”_

_She chuckled and placed more soft kisses all over his bare chest, Harry’s hand beginning a slow caress on her bottom._

_“You’re hotter..” She argued._

_“You’re the hottest..” He argued back, sucking a breath when she nipped him.  “Baby..“_

_Sinking her teeth gently on his flesh, she looked up at him through hooded eyes, then formed a suction on him.  ”Hm?”_

_“You’re so fucking sexy..Do you know what you do to me?”_

_“Mmm..”_

_Anna continued to nip and suck on his chest and stomach, her hand slipping further down to press lightly on his erection, eliciting a loud drawn out groan of gratification from Harry.  He immediately placed his hand over hers and guided her to apply more pressure to ease the throb._

_“God..Anna..”_

_He was almost begging her—about to end their drought—before his mobile rang out.  He ignored it like any other man would, thrusting his hips up when she began to pull away._

_“Harry..” She said, breathlessly.  “Your phone..“_

_“Let it ring..” He said, grabbing her face with both hands.  He was about to pull her down to meet his mouth when she pulled back._

_“It could be important..”_

_He growled, annoyed and quite frankly pissed off at whoever was responsible for making her stop.  ”What?!” He snapped into the receiver._

_“Hello to you, too,” William snorted.  “The fuck is wrong with you? Have you lost the ability to properly answer your phone?“_

_“The fuck do you want, Will?”_

_Harry tried catching Anna’s arm as she climbed off of him but his reflexes were failing him in the fragile state he was in.  He watched as Anna mouthed an apology and pointed towards the hallway before making her way to bed._

_She could hear Harry engage in brotherly banter from her position in the bed, trying to calm herself.  She needed a pep talk and a distraction for when he would enter the room, ready to finish what had started on the sofa._

_So she called Maggie, quickly explaining her reasoning for calling at a late hour.  Five minutes later, she witnessed Harry’s disappointed sigh as he ran his fingers through his hair before muttering he would be in the shower._

_She knew it would be a cold one._

—-

“Annalisa?” The short knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts.  “You’ve been gone awhile… Are you okay?“

“Um..yeah! I’m fine… Just..” Anna looked around in a panic, her eyes settling on the waxing pen she used to perfect the shape of her eyebrows.  “I’m just waxing my eyebrows..“

“You’re..waxing your eyebrows?” She cringed at his dumbfounded tone.

“Yeah..”

“Now?!”

“I guess I got distracted..” She weakly lied.

“Baby..what the fuck is going on?”

She swallowed.  ”Wha-what do you mean?”

The sound of Harry banging his head on the door worried her.  Did she really frustrate him this bad? She felt the guilt immediately.

“Are you mad at me?”

“No.” He could hear her closer now and pictured her in the same position as him but with her head lower due to her short height.  He didn’t have to guess to know that it should be leveled just under his chin.

“What is it? You’ve been acting..”

Something struck him then, as if a light bulb had been just turned on unexpectedly in his brain as he recalled her drunken state at Jake’s wedding reception just two weeks prior and the way she had confessed wanting him but something was holding her back, like she was denying not only him, but her as well.

——

_Strolling back to the reception area, his eyes searched for a curly haired goddess in an emerald green dress, finding her seated at the bar with Skippy, downing what appeared to be something blue._

_As he neared the bar, an exasperated Maggie came into view and he could tell by the way she was pulling the sleeve of her boyfriend’s jacket, she wasn’t pleased by the scene that was taking place._

_“Skippy! Will you stop her?! Anna, don’t drink that!”_

_“What’s going on here?” Harry asked with his brows lifted high._

_“Dumbo here bet Anna she wouldn’t be able to dance if she took four shots in a row.”_

_Harry smacked Skippy upside the head.  ”Are you trying to give my girl alcohol poisoning?!”_

_“Ow! Relax.. She’s holding her own.” Skip guffawed._

_“Heeeeeey loverrrrr,” Anna greeted him when she came to and realized he was joining them.  Harry gave his friend a look of disapproval and Skip took it as a sign._

_“So.. Mags and I are going to..skedaddle!” Maggie rolled her eyes and threw a sincere apology to her friends before letting her boyfriend pull her to the dance floor._

_Harry turned his attention back to his inebriated girlfriend who sat staring at him, swaying slightly on the barstool.  ”Enjoying yourself?”_

_She giggled then hiccuped.  ”I prooooved that freckle face wrong.”_

_“I thought you had to dance?” He teased, taking the empty stool beside her as he waved the bartender over._

_“Let’s dance then!” She moved to stand but was quickly shut down by his arm keeping her still._

_“Nah uh.  Sit your arse down and drink some water before there’s any of that.”_

_“Boo,” she pouted, watching as Harry asked for two bottles of water politely before smacking some bills down on the counter.  Her once sober mind had questions of his whereabouts and it came forth for a second long enough to ask him.  “Where’d you go all that time? You were gone for like 30 minutes.“_

_Harry chuckled, opening the cap and assisting her with taking a few long sips.  ”It was more like 10 minutes, love.” Anna peered at him through slitted eyes.  ”What?”_

_“Ahh,” she sighed, the pureness of the crystal clear water feeling good as it hit her stomach.  She gave him a suspicious look.  “Got any more girls you’ve fucked stalking you, Henry?“_

_Harry rolled his eyes, annoyed by her accusation.  ”I was taking a piss, Annalisa.”_

_“A 10 minute piss?”_

_“The line for the loo was long,” he explained.  “I thought you said you were past this.“_

_Anna stared at him expressionless for a couple moments before her facade crumbled and she began to laugh loudly.  ”It was just a joke! Relax, killer.”_

_Harry clicked his tongue, unamused.  ”Har har,” he said dryly._

_Anna laughed uncontrollably, leaning on his shoulder for support as the giggles racked her unstable body.  ”The look on your face!” She forced out, pointing at him.  ”You looked pissed as hell! Timmaaaay!” She called for the bartender, learning his name after her second shot of the blue liquor she couldn’t pronounce.  ”Two of the smurf!” She requested, waving two fingers in the air._

_“I think you’ve had enough,” Harry said, sternly._

_“Nonsense.  I’ve had a shitty week and I want to get drunk.”_

_“I think you’ve already accomplished that, babe.  Let’s get you home to bed.”_

_“No,” she pouted.  “We haven’t danced yet.“_

_“You’re in no shape to dance,” he explained, slightly irritated at himself for not pushing her to talk about the awful work week where she lost another patient when she repeatedly lied and said she was fine._

_“Then I want another drink! Or..sex!” She blurted before covering her mouth with her wide eyes staring at him in shock.  “Oops.. No sex.“_

_He furrowed his brows.  ”Why no sex?”_

_She shook her head violently and Harry squared his shoulders to begin his questioning but before he could unnerve her with his unwavering stare, the bartender smacked two shots on the bar between them.  Harry threw him a territorial glare when he caught the guy stealing a long look up and down on his girlfriend, scurrying him away to attend the other customers._

_“Cheers!” Anna exclaimed to no one in particular, oblivious to the unwanted attention, as she lifted the first shot glass.  Just as it was about to touch her lips, Harry snatched it and downed it it one quick flick of his wrist.  “Hey!“ She yelled when he picked up the second and downed it._

_“Whew!” Harry pulled a face, letting out a whistle between his teeth.  “Shit’s bloody poison.  How many of these have you had?“_

_“One..two..” She counted.  “Maybe three..dunno.“_

_“No wonder you’re unstable.”_

_“You’re such a charmer,” she said, sarcasm dripping from her voice.  “Now you gotta get Timmaaaay back over here.“_

_“Over my dead body.  What’s it going to take you to get away from this bar?”_

_A smile spread across her lips.  ”A dance with my baby..”_

_“Alright..” Harry caved.  “Take a few more sips of water.“ He sighed and stood from his seat, then carefully helped her to her feet and guided her to the dance floor.  “One dance only and then I’m taking you home to sober you up.. And we are going to discuss this week.”_

_Harry didn’t have to feel the sting of hurt in Anna’s chest to know it was there, he could see it in the way her face winced and her limp hand lifted to cover the bodice of her dress._

_“I don’t want to talk about it tonight, Harry.”_

_She blinked and his chest ached at her misty eyes.  The last thing he wanted was for her to cry, knowing she would be embarrassed if he let her do so in public.  He wrapped her in his arms and hugged her close, feeling her sharp inhale as she tried to bury the crushing reality of not being able to save every little ball of light that were in her care.  ”I just want to dance with you and prove Shipply wrong.”_

_“Skippy,” Harry corrected with a laugh._

_“That’s what I said,” she mumbled against his shoulder._

_They were silent for the remainder of the slow song, Anna holding onto Harry as he cradled the back of her head with one hand while the other was innocently swung around her tiny waist._

_“I’ll be here and we will talk about it when you are ready… Always,” he whispered in her hair._

_Harry lied when he said he would allow her one dance.  She had wanted to dance with him all night, wanted to enjoy the celebrations of his best friend’s wedding, and he would’ve moved heaven on earth if he could to make her happy.  They were about to go into their third dance when Anna lifted her head and shined her pearly whites at him._

_“What?” He smiled back at her._

_“Julia Roberts..”_

_“What?” He asked, perplexed._

_“This song…”_

_“It’s Michael Buble, darling.”_

_Anna squinted her eyes at Harry before explaining.  ”No, I know that! This song is from My Bestfriends Wedding.  And it’s being played at your bestfriends wedding.”_

_“Huh, interesting..”_

_“You’ve never seen it?!”_

_“That film? No.”_

_She gasped in mock horror.  ”How can you even call yourself a Julia Roberts fan?”_

_“Her films aren’t what I’m really a fan of..” He admitted with a smug grin._

_Anna’s mouth dropped open, speechless for a long second, and Harry’s eyes increased in size, testing her.  She recovered quickly and swatted his chest.  ”Perv..”_

_“You love it..”_

_She couldn’t conceal the agreeable smile that adorned her lips, her hands smoothing down his Sunday best dress._

_“I love seeing you in this..so sexy and yummy..” She complimented, giving him a shy look._

_“Sexy and yummy, yeah?” He parroted, his hands traveling down to her lower back, his fingertips dangerously close to feeling the curve of her bottom.  “More than the uniform?“_

_“Mm-mm,” Anna replied, stretching up to peck his tantalizing lips.  “Nothing beats the uniform.“_

_“How about I meet you in the loo in about ten minutes and I’ll show you just how sexy and yummy you are in this dress?”_

_Anna bit her lip, considering it.  She wasn’t as drunk as before, the water and dancing close to him sobering her up a bit.  She could also use a good fuck and what better way to end this depressing week than to be completely loved by her dashing man in his gray slacks and yellow vest.  She wondered how it would feel hanging onto his tie while they lost themselves in each other._

_“What do you say, baby? Up for another round in the midst of a party?”_

_“Fuck..I want to..I really, really want to..but we can’t.” She whined, pouting up at him._

_Harry wasn’t sure exactly why she was resisting him, but the two shots were mixing with the whiskey and champagne he had already consumed made it was starting to cloud his senses._

——-

He came back to present time, still outside the bathroom door while the vixen was on the other side.

She wouldn’t be purposely frustrating him as revenge, would she?

By his long pause, he wouldn’t be entirely surprised if she sensed that he had just caught onto her.

“Annalisa Lucille Caro..” Harry sternly full named her, lifting his head when he heard the echo of the lock unlatching.  He waited a moment before reaching for the knob and turning it slowly.

“Are you toying with..” He trailed off when she came into view.  He had to swallow as his heartbeat skipped beats, the tightening in his trousers becoming so painfully tight he was certain they were about to burst open.  There, right in front of him, was Annalisa, wearing nothing but a sensual smile.

“Me..” He squeaked, his hungry eyes roving over her curves, his hands itching to feel her silky skin.

Her chest was heaving and a shiver ran down her spine at the desire that was unmistakable in his eyes.

Who took the first steps or who initiated what happened next was questionable but neither one cared to ponder the answer.  All they could focus on was Harry’s hands on the back of her thighs as she jumped up so he could catch her, her arms hanging loosely around his neck as their mouths crashed together over and over, tongues sliding wetly together.

Harry whipped them around blindly so he could set her on the edge of the sink, Anna working feverishly to pull his slacks down along with his boxer briefs.  His erection was barely freed before he drowned himself in her, both crying out in pure bliss after going so long without.

Neither one of them lasted long, wound too tightly.  The usual foreplay they always participated in wasn’t thought of once as they seeked gratification being connected in every way.  Cries of pleasure came from both of them, Anna witnessing Harry being the most vocal she had ever heard.

With every thrust and every swivel of his hips came long scratches down his back from her manicured fingernails, fueling him to drive faster and harder into her tightness with their mouths fused together.

Minutes later, they came together on a loud moan and growl.

When they had calmed down enough to think a bit more clearer, two pair of eyes bore into each other, hearts galloping strong in their chests.  Anna’s thighs closed tighter around Harry’s waist when he shifted to release from her, holding her in the most intimate place.

“Not yet,” she pleaded, pulling him down for another bruising kiss.

“We are far from over, peaches,” he said, his voice hoarse.  “I want you sore that you won’t be able to walk as punishment for that little stunt you pulled on me.“

Anna whimpered, growing incredibly wetter as she felt his cock stiffen inside of her.  ”Harry..”

“Are you ready for your punishment, baby?” He teased, sliding almost all the way out of her before pushing back in with one long thrust, Anna moaning in answer.

“Please..” She begged in a groan, catching Harry’s wince as she stroked the fresh welts on his back.  “Please, Harry..“

Harry cradled the back of her head to force her to look into his darkened eyes.  ”Look at me.. That’s it, baby.. Keep looking right at me while I fuck the sense out of you..”

And Anna knew more than anyone that Harry would keep his word.  And he did.


	13. How They Double Date

Uneven breaths disrupted the stillness of early morning as two bodies moved languidly together, both enjoying the unhurried lovemaking they had been longing for.  It felt nice to be able to take their time, to relish in the warmth of being connected after the many quick hellos in passing, between the nonstop meetings and the long hours at the hospital.

Harry had arrived late the previous night and found Anna already cuddled under the covers, sleeping soundly.  It took all the remaining strength he had to tiredly undress and slip under the blankets to join her in much needed rest.  He had sighed contently and thought ‘finally’ as he flung his arms around her and pulled her close to form a spooning position.  It didn’t take long before he drifted off to a peaceful slumber.

But he was the type that wasn’t able to turn off his inner clock once he had grown accustomed to it, so it was no surprise when he was roused from unconsciousness at the crack of dawn.  Instead of the usual growl of disappointment he did every morning when he woke to an empty bed, he smiled.

Anna was still snuggled into him the same way she had been all night, neither one of them able to move from being so worn out.  The unspoken challenge to get her to wake up began as he left peppered kisses along her shoulder and down her arm, the warmth of her body heat stirring his lower regions.  Anna had moaned when she felt the pressure of his erection at her back, waking up to a familiar throb between her thighs, already wet and ready.

She had shifted onto her back and smiled sleepily at him, reciprocating his good morning before he bent down to her level and kissed her sweetly in an attempt to make her fuzzy mind more alert.  It worked.  She woke up fully almost instantly and wrapped her arms around his neck, Harry commenting on how she was already so incredibly aroused when a hand cupped her left breast, the hardened tip urging him on as he lifted her nightgown and groaned at the feel of her bare flesh.

They both had had a troubling couple of weeks, Harry stressed with the impending announcement of the Invictus Games he was coordinating (a few setbacks on reaching the deadline causing tension headaches that kept him up at night) and Anna trying to keep up with the hospital’s dilemma of being short staffed.  It went without saying that they had come to realize how much they depended on the other to keep their spirits lifted after grueling work days, others commenting on how broody Harry was lately and Anna more quiet and reserved.

The only time they could spare in the middle of the chaos was spent over quick meals at a cafe or short phone calls during breaks and the occasional good fuck to loosen up some tense muscles that were in dire need to destress.

But today was the first day work wasn’t on either agendas.  No meetings to attend, no public appearances scheduled, no on-call pages to answer… nothing.  So after many nights of rushed hands tearing clothes off and hungry kisses as they devoured what the other offered, all they wanted was to go slow and savor the first moments of a relaxing day.

“Love you..” Anna breathed, her delicate fingertips smoothed down Harry’s glistening back, his muscles rippling underneath her soft touch.

“Mm love you..” He replied, pressing his forehead against hers, his harsh breaths fanning her flushed skin.

They were usually more vocal than they were being when their passion took over all their senses, loud moans and groans tearing from her mouth and Harry’s grunts that increased in volume when they reached the gratifying end.  But as they moved in sync, desperately chasing the waves of pleasure wasn’t the intent; All they wanted was to love and be loved as she met each of his slow and calculated thrusts from above her.

She missed this, being with him without having the need to keep an eye out for the time, not having anywhere to run off to like they had for days.  She missed laying with him, being in his arms where she always felt safe and cared for.

It was true that she had been more withdrawn lately, a sense of dread finding home in the pit of her gut as the calls from her mom became more frequent and left her more puzzled.  Her work didn’t suffer, she always gave her patients her undivided attention and heart, but her relationships with her fellow nurses and with Maggie were a bit shoved to the side as she kept to herself.  Besides her little birds, Harry had been the only one that could make her break out of her shell, laughter and genuine smiles pulling from her mouth whenever he was around.

“You’re so beautiful..”

As she felt his breath on her, felt him move inside of her, a wave of strong emotion crashed through her at full speed.  She loved him, more than she thought she could ever love somebody.  And while that still frightened her, panicked her even, she never wanted to be apart from him…ever.

He was everything good in her life.  Everything she could ever hope for in a man..a man she prayed to spend forever with.  He was kind, fun loving, and so full of heart that it melted her just watching him be him.  And not only did he adore her, but was also respectful and treated her the way every woman deserved to be.

He made her feel all the emotions a lifelong partner should.

Alive.  Loved.  Important.

Before she could stop it, wetness leaked from the outside corners of her eyes, sliding onto the pillow behind her head.

Harry heard the soft sniffle she tried to conceal and lifted his head slightly to peer down at her, his face contorting at the sight of her crying.  He immediately stopped his ministrations, concern taking over any other urge and his hands framed her head.

“Anna..” She shook her head, blushing further.  “Baby, what’s wrong?“

“Nothing,” she lied.  In a weak attempt to change the subject, she wiggled her hips to persuade him to resume his actions but he pulled back and sternly fixated her with an encouraging look to confide in him.  She gave up, not putting up much of a fight and trailed a hand up the path of his back to cup his cheek, letting the love flow out of her.  “I just..“

“What?” He urged, stroking her damp curls back away from her skin and thumbing the few tears that escaped her.

Anna sniffled again, boring her eyes into his, more tears pooling when the lovingly worry shone in his crystal blues.  ”I really missed you, Harry.”

“Aw, sweetheart..” He went to pull out but Anna trapped him between her legs and he stilled.

“Stay,” she said, softspokenly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes..” A hint of a small smile tugged on her lips.  “You make me happy, do you know that?“

He smiled gently and kissed the tip of her nose.  ”Why the tears then, love?”

“I don’t know..overwhelmed, I guess.”

“Overwhelmed? Do you need to take some time off?”

“No, I mean.. a different kind of overwhelmed.”

“I’m lost,” he chuckled, tilting his head to one side.

Anna laughed lightly, caressing the side of his face, the morning stubble scratching her palm.  ”Overwhelmed with love…for you.” There was a sparkle in his eyes that made her heart skip a beat.  ”I’m so in love with you, Harry.  These past two weeks have been hell not being here like this with you.”

His heart ached at her confession.  He knew exactly what she meant, sharing the same thoughts and feelings.  There was no denying how miserable he had been without her.

“Oh, baby…  Please don’t cry..” She wrinkled her nose to make him laugh as she fought the tears.  “Come on, peaches.. Smile.“

And she did.  She smiled an infectious smile that pulled at his heartstrings.  His stomach knotted as the same intense emotion shot through him.  If there was one thing he wanted to do right in his life, she was it.  He was going to marry this incredible woman, he would make sure of it.

“Shit, I fucking missed you.”

Wrapping her legs tightly around his waist, she lifted her bottom to bring him deeper, both moaning at the sensation of her being stretched further by his length.

“I love you,” Harry gushed, slanting his mouth over hers in a lingering kiss.

“Forever?” She asked, rubbing her nose with his as her hand slid from his cheek to thread through his locks.

“And ever…and ever…and ever..” He promised, placing kisses all over her cheeks and eyes, causing Anna to giggle happily, ceasing any signs of her previous crying.

“Make love to me.”

It was all he ever wanted.

A whimper tumbled out of her mouth in response to him angling his hips, the change in position creating sweet friction on her clit as it bumped his hipbone repeatedly whenever he pushed back inside her.  Her burning legs loosened and fell limply to the mattress but she resisted against the ache and brought a foot down to rub his calf affectionately.

Harry’s arms held the same burn as her legs, straining to keep his weight upright as to not crush her, and he almost faltered when her inner muscles spasmed around his cock at the same time her small sounds of ecstasy slipped past her lips, her first orgasm approaching.

“Anna..” A guttural sound escaped him and he tried to distract himself from finishing too fast by mouthing her neck, trailing wet kisses and licks up to the sensitive spot behind her ear.  A gasp was heard when his tongue flicked back and forth on the soft area, Anna’s increased arousal causing Harry to slide deeper inside her tightness.

“Harry..” She moaned, nails lightly scratching his lower back, tickling him.

Harry’s body jerked slightly, the steady grind they had built wavering.  Harry smiled sheepishly down at her soft giggles, his hips pausing as their eyes met.

“Ticklish?” Anna questioned, her fingers hovering above where she had just tickled him in a threat.

“Don’t.” Harry warned, eyes narrowed.

The corners of her lips lifted into a devilishly smirk, watching his adams apple bob up and down slowly as he swallowed hard, the shock of pleasure that shot up his spine when her inner walls contracted around him almost unnerving him.

“You’re an evil woman.”

His gruffly remark made her contract around him again, involuntarily this time and he choked on a moan.

“Perhaps but..” Anna began, exhaling at the same time he swiveled his hips, his pelvis grinding deliciously on her clit.  “Oh god..”

“But..?” Harry quirked a brow, a triumphant smile gracing his features from her reaction to his successful attempt at distracting her from tickling him.  Adding more pressure to the bundle of nerves that he knew would end her, his eyes washed over her face, picking up on the crease in her forehead as her eyebrows furrowed together.

“Hmmmm,” she drew out, her voices rising in octaves at the end to form a question.

Harry laughed lightly at how easy it was to distract her, shaking his head slightly.  He kept his gaze on her flushed face, roving over her pink cheeks and her swollen lips from his hungry kisses minutes ago.

She was about to come undone, he could tell by her short bursts of air and her pupils dilating.  All it took was one more full circle of his hips before she came around him in a silent cry, her mouth shaped in an ‘o’ with her head tossed back on the pillow.

Fighting off a strong urge to drive hard and deep in her core to find his own release, he dipped his head to tease her parted lips, nipping and biting as he resumed the steady pace of slipping mercily slow out of her still clinging channel before driving back in, Anna catching onto his new rhythm after a couple moments of recollecting herself.

“Good?” Harry asked, his voice more gravelly than he thought it would be as his lips rubbed over hers repeatedly.  It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep his cool when her pussy was still milking him after her climax, gearing up for another.

“So..good..” Anna whispered breathlessly, arching her back to silently plead him to speed up.  He caught on to what she wanted, almost throwing up a hallelujah to the heavens above, and he drove deeper and just a tad bit more forcefully.  “Yeah.. so good..”

“Going to come again, love?”

“Uh huh..” Her head was moving up and down on the pillow, and due to Harry’s face being mere centimeters from hers, their noses bumped together and their breaths mingled.  “Please, Harry…”

“Please what, baby?”

She arched her back again, her lower body raising off of the bed, and Harry slid a hand underneath her to hold her close to him, their chests pressed tightly, their hearts pounding as one.

“Come with me,” she said, bringing her hand up to meet the other to thread through his sweaty locks, her nails digging into his scalp.

Harry felt the tightness in his balls at her desired command, aware he was just seconds away from his hard release that would fill her up.  The thought of her taking all that he had to offer, knowing one day their lovemaking would create their family, sent him over the edge.  He jerked his head to the side and caught her earlobe between his teeth and tugged, his swelling length causing Anna to come along with him in a loud trembling gasp.

————

“A little to the left.. a little more.. tiny bit more.. Okay, now just a smidge to the right..”

“Agh.. come on, woman! This shit is heavy,” Harry complained, shifting the weighted sofa higher up on his shoulder to a more comfortable position.

“Darling.. I think this is fine right here,” Skippy said, wincing slightly.

“Mmm,” Maggie thought, tapping her lips with a finger in mock thought.  “I don’t know.. It doesn’t look adjacent to where I want the telly stand to go.” She grinned evilly when both guys groaned in frustration, giggling at how much she was enjoying making them suffer.  “Anna!” She called the brunette’s attention as she was passing by, carrying a box in both arms.  “What do you think?”

“Ugh, can you please tell her the sofa is fine right here?” Harry pleaded in a strained tone as the long piece of furniture was weighing him down by the second.

Anna paused and turned her head to form an opinion, hugging the box tighter to her chest when it began to wobble.  “Umm..” She stole a glance at Maggie who was stifling her giggles at the sight of the struggling men and laughed lightly.  “Yeah, it needs to go more to the right..”

“Oh for the love of..” Skippy trailed while Harry muttered profanity under his breath.

“What was that, my love?” Anna asked in a playful tone, smiling ear to ear with a brow lifted.

“Nothing.. nothing at all,” Harry grumbled, rolling his eyes as soon as his girlfriend hummed in reply and resumed carrying the box in the direction of the bedroom.  He shifted to the right, ignoring Maggie’s chortles and further instructions, and turned his head to face his friend behind the piece of furniture.  “Skip, are you ready to put this shit down?”

“Erm..y-yes..”

Harry chuckled at how strangled his voice sounded and instantly regretted it, the laugh causing him to lose grip.  “Shit!”

“My sofa! Careful!”Maggie chided as she watched the scene unfold in front of her, cuss words being thrown out as they scrambled to keep the sofa upright instead of falling on their feet.

“Agh!” They struggled with the heavy weight, wobbling and stumbling for a few moments before regaining balance.  “I’m suing your arse if I get even the tiniest scratch on my perfect body.“

Maggie laughed, rolling her eyes, as she laid a hand on her beating heart that was slowly returning to a normal pace.  ”Okay, sure.  But after signing those papers that gave me a fucking papercut this morning, this house is all I’ve got.”

Then it hit her.  She really did it.  She accomplished purchasing a home for herself.

“I have a hooouse!” Maggie sang excitedly, her booming voice bouncing off the walls in the still empty space as she twirled around.  Anna picked that moment to waltz back into the room and squealed when Maggie grabbed her hand to dance with her.

“Not even I have a house,” Harry muttered, sighing in relief once the sofa was securely on the carpeted flooring.

“You live in a palace, crybaby.”

“A one bedroom apartment!” Harry cried.  “Why are you being mean to me?“

“Boohoo,” Maggie retorted, sarcastically.

After finishing up carrying every piece of furniture and the many boxes from the lender moving truck, the girls sat around watching Harry with his sidekick attempt to mantle a brand new bookshelf.

“We should go on a double date,” Anna said, laughing when Maggie gasped and clapped her hands excitedly.  “I’m surprised we haven’t done that yet.“

“What are you talking about? We go on double dates all the time,” Harry commented as he reached for the screwdriver Skip was handing him.

“No, we don’t!” Maggie argued.

“We go to dinner or order takeout.  We go to the cinema.  The theatre.  Does that not count as double dating?”

“That’s boring as fuck.” Maggie berated and turned back to Anna.  “We should do something fun.“

Harry and Skippy shared the same look before going back to the bookshelf that was coming along nicely, only half listening to the girls as they conversed amongst themselves instead of following the leaflet of instructions.

“Oh! You know what we should do? There’s a paint class for beginners tonight where they teach you how to paint.” Anna said, reaching for her phone to look it up.

“Oooh.. I don’t have any artistic abilities, though.”

“It says so right here: ‘Whether you are looking for a comical evening out or hold a desire for art, come join Joseph Wesley for a two hour lesson on the simplicity of brushing colors on a canvas from 8pm to 10pm.  Wine and supplies included.’”

“I’m in!” Maggie exclaimed at the last bit.

“Ha! I thought that would do it,” Anna said.  “I have to warn you though..Harry gets very defensive about his art.“

Harry’s ears perked up at the mention of his name and the teasing tone Anna held.  ”Come again?” He asked with his brows raised high and grew increasingly suspicious at her innocent smile.

“Ohhhh nothing, darling.”

“Shouldn’t you women be unloading dishes or curtains and the like?” Skippy spoke up.

“Shush, we’re tired.”

“Tired?” Harry snorted.  “From what? All the heavy lifting that us men did?“

“I swear you sound like such a pig when you talk like that.  It’s not attractive at all,” Maggie scoffed.  “Us women have to direct you mindless lads or god knows how this place would look.”

“Sofa facing the wall instead of the TV,” Anna joked, laughing at the face Harry pulled.  “Am I wrong?“

“You’re always wrong, love.”

“Really?” Anna challenged.  “You can discuss that with the sofa that will become your bed tonight.“

“Ha! Burn,” Skip clapped Harry on the shoulder, cowering back at the glare his mate shot him.

“Anyway,” Maggie interjected.  ”We’re going to a paint class tonight.”

“Painting?” Skip groaned.  “Harry’s a sour puss over his art.“

“I am not,” Harry denied, paying no mind to his girlfriend’s giggles that were directed to Maggie.

“Do you remember the time he stopped coming to the pubs when I said his horse resembled a mule?” Skip asked Maggie who broke out into hysterics.

“Oh my god, yes! He ignored us for like a month.”

“It was clearly a horse!” Harry said, defensively.

“It had the long ears like a mule, Hazza.”

“No, it didn’t!” He looked to Anna for back up.

“Aw.. Well, a mule is half horse..?” She weakly offered.  “You drew the love child of a horse and donkey.  I find that sweet.“

“It was a purebred.” Harry huffed while they continued to laugh.  “Fucking mules.“

Anna’s phone rang out then and Harry caught the way her laugh immediately died when she peered down at the screen.  She looked up and forced a smile.  ”My mama.” She excused herself, leaving Harry with a wink as his eyes bore into his retreating form, anxiousness bubbling in his chest.

Anna had confided in him about something not right with her family, none of them brave enough to let Anna in on the secret she knew they were keeping from her.  It was becoming more and more worrisome as he witnessed her mother and brothers calls coming in at all hours of the day and night.  He wanted very much to pluck the mobile from her hands and call them out on it.  He would’ve demanded to know what was happening, upset that they weren’t even going far enough to hide the secrecy in their voices anymore.

But it wasn’t his place.  They weren’t his family…yet.  So he stepped back and watched Anna wait in dread.

It was taking a toll on her as much as she didn’t want to admit it to him.  He could see the way she tossed and turned in her sleep, or when he would wake during the night to an empty bed, only to find her strumming the chords of a guitar in the music room with tears glistening her golden orbs.

It was crushing him seeing her suffer.

“Quit staring at her arse, loser.  I’m still peeved at you for fucking Cressie.”

“Darling-”

“No, Skip.  I’m not going to let that go as easily as Anna did.”

Harry was in no mood for Maggie’s prickliness, annoyed that she kept badgering him about the same issue.  ”Oh, come on, Mags.  I made a fucking mistake.”

“Yeah, possibly the stupidest one to date.”

“Maggie, stop.”

She ignored her boyfriend.  ”I hope you realize how shitty that was.”

“Yes, of course I do! How many times are we going to discuss this before you drop it? You don’t think I feel bad for it? Good god, Maggie.”

“Don’t get all prick on me,” she said, folding her arms.

Harry turned to his mate and threw his hands up in defeat.  ”I can’t bloody win with her.  I don’t know how you put up with her crankiness.  Hats off to you, mate.”

Skippy went to open his mouth to reply but quickly closed it when his girlfriend threw him a warning glare.  He shrugged instead.

Harry brought his closed fist up to his mouth and coughed out a word.  ”Pussy whipped.”

A laugh resounded, the realization that she was able to achieve such a thing melting any resentment she had been feeling.  ”You’re on the ball about that, you little shit.”

“Pardon?”

“What?”

When they both looked at her in confusion, she blushed.  ”Harry’s minions,” she said as if it would be a sufficient explanation.  ”Your admirers..or fans, whatever.  They call you ‘little shit’,” Maggie snickered.

“My minions?” Harry barked a laugh.

“Whoa-hold on,” Skippy began in a puzzled tone that was quickly transitioning into one of suspicion.  “If it’s Harry’s ‘admirers’ calling him a little shit, why are you?”

“You can’t possibly think I admire his flat arse, do you?!” She said in bewilderment.  When Harry sniggered at what her boyfriend was insinuating, she narrowed her eyes at him and swatted his arm.  ”Ew!”

“Ow! Hey, now.. I’m very admirable, there’s no denying it.  I’m flattered.”

“Fuck off.” She scowled before embracing Skippy, melting his broody expression.  “Of course not, darling.  I admire you.”

“But-” Maggie abruptly stopped Skippy from continuing by placing her lips over his.

“He’s a little shit.  Nothing more, babe.”

“I rather be a little shit than a piece of shit,” Harry said, growing increasingly anxious with Anna’s absence, rubbing his face and attacking the strands of his hair.

“Ha!” Maggie choked out a laugh.  “I would go with the ladder to describe you, if I’m completely honest.“

Harry pulled a face before craning his head to look for own personal spirit lifter, seeing her appear from the hallway.  ”Anna! Am I a piece of shit?”

Anna strolled into the room, slipping her phone into her back pocket and smiled slightly, having caught on to the end of the conversation.  In spite of the light comical question he threw at her, she could see the concern in his eyes and saw his tense muscles relax when she reassured him with a smile and a slight nod of her head.

“You’re not a piece of shit,” she stated as a matter-of-fact.  Harry grinned at her, relieved to see her acting normal after getting off a call with her mom as she maneuvered over to him, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck from behind.  “You’re the shit.”

“Thank you, baby.” Harry looked back at his mates who were taking turns snorting and gagging and stuck his tongue out childishly.

“Mmhm,” she hummed, lovingly pressing her lips against the crown of his head, her arms tightening to cradle him closer.  “Is that enough ego stroking today?“

“Oh, please save the other stroking for private time..”

“Why would anyone want to be shit, period?” Skip randomly wondered aloud.

It fell silent as the trio looked to Skippy, noting the look of absolute wonder that creased his forehead, before a burst of boisterous laughter coursed through them.

———

“…short and quick strokes will add fur-like texture to the canvas.  If you’re going for a softer and longer feel, the brush strokes should be long and flowing.”

The instructor paused behind Anna, placing a hand on her shoulder.  ”Very nice textures.  You have a beautiful combination of strokes.  And a good eye for blending.”

Anna peeked over her shoulder and smiled kindly, blushing profusely.  ”Oh, erm..thanks.”

“This mustn’t be your first class.”

“Um..no, I’ve dabbled in sketching and acrylic paints here and there.”

“It shows.  Keep up the great work.”

He moved on a little too quickly when Harry cleared his throat, commenting on Maggie’s version of a wine bottle.  ”A little easy on the paint..and tilt the brush like so..”

Anna tried to ignore the persistent clearing of Harry’s throat beside her, her lips twitching.  ”I see you’re blatantly ignoring me like Joseph over there.”

“I’m not ignoring you, love,” Anna replied, purposely using the endearment he always did.  “I’m painting.“

“Mm..you and your beautiful combination of strokes,” he said in a monotone.

Anna giggled, never averting her eyes as she dabbed the brush in the palette of paint.  ”Poverino.”

“Pover-what?”

“Nevermind that.  You’re just jealous because he didn’t say two words to your masterpiece.”

“I’m not jealous,” he lied in an undertone.  “I just don’t find it very proper to put a hand on someone else’s girl.“

“Ha!” She laughed, sneaking a glance at his reddened face.  “It was harmless, stop it.“

“He was flirting with you.  With me right here.  I don’t like it.”

“He was not flirting, Harry.” She argued.

“Beautiful combination of strokes?” He quoted, his voice rising in octaves more than necessary.  ”The only bloke that should be complimenting your beautiful strokes is me.”

She snorted.  ”And yet you don’t.”

“Hey, you know bloody well that I love your strokes on my co-”

“How’s it going over here?” Joseph interrupted, causing Anna to choke as Harry smiled tightly at the instructor.

“Just fine, thanks,” he answered, shortly.

“It’s a real honour to have your royal highness in my class.  I wanted to come around and properly shake hands and introduce myself.”

Anna lifted a brow, mouthing an I told you so behind his back.

He reluctantly shook hands with Joseph, deliberately making it the most firm handshake he had ever given, his alpha male tendency taking over.

“Oh, well..yes.  Thank you for having us.  It’s been great fun so far, isn’t that right, darling?”

Harry’s words were intentional, she knew by the tone of his voice and the way his eyes twinkled when they shifted from Joseph’s to hers.  And much to her chagrin, it seemed as if Joseph had picked up on it by the way he was shifting foot to foot.

“Yeees..” Anna said slowly, narrowing her eyes at him before brightening up when Joseph looked to her with a warm smile.  “It’s been lovely, thank you.“

“My pleasure,” Joseph nodded, his gaze lingering on Anna before he excused himself to make his rounds to the other students.

“See! He was checking you out! Fucking twat!”

“Harry!”

“My pleasure? That was highly inappropriate.  Fucker is lucky we are surrounded with witnesses or I would deck the shit ou-“

Anna’s lips lay over his, kissing him mid sentence to shut him up.  She grinned into the kiss when he reciprocated after a couple stunned seconds, reaching around to the back of his head to twirl the loose locks that were poking through the cap he wore.

“Show him who you really want fucking you later.  I like the way you think.”

Anna shook her head with a laugh before pecking his cheek.  ”Mhm..I want you tonight but he can have me tomorrow night.”

“You lit-”

She cut him off by firmly placing her mouth on his again, a little more deeply this time before pulling away from Maggie’s disapproving voice.

“Do you two ever stop? Ugh, sickening.”

Anna apologetically looked at her friend and sat more straighter on her stool, facing her easel that held her almost finished canvas.

“Quit distracting my brilliance, Wales.” She squealed when Harry poked her side.

“How’s it going over there, babe?” Maggie called to Skip, who had been silent for most of the class as he sat at Harry’s other side.

“I think this was the worst fucking idea yet,” Skip complained, tossing his brush on the palette.  Harry turned to his right and barked out a laugh at his canvas.

“What the hell is that supposed to be?”

“A wine bottle..”

“Why does it have balls?” Anna genuinely asked, only to create more rambunctious laughter, the foursome not paying any attention to the group of people in the same room that kept glancing back at them.

During the drive home later on that night, the laughter continued as they talked about anything and everything.

“Valentines day is in a week.  What do you two lovebirds have planned?” Anna asked from the backseat, playing with Harry’s fingers that rested on her lap.

“Nothing too grand.  We’ve only been dating for a few weeks,” Skip answered, stealing a glance at his girlfriend when she huffed from the passenger side.

“How fucking romantic.”

“What?” He asked in defense.  “I thought we discussed this.  An extravagant dinner and a film.“

“That’s incredibly lame,” Harry teased.  “Come on, man.  You gotta step up your game.“

“I’ve got a gift! Isn’t that game enough?”

“If it’s a sexy negligee, then I will rip your face off,” Maggie threatened.

“What’s wrong with lingerie? You have a massive collect-”

“Yes!” She hissed.  “Because I got them myself.  Buying me lingerie for valentines day is like you getting yourself a gift.”

“Huh,” Skip thought as he slowed to a stop at a red light.  “I guess I can see what you mean.“

Maggie twisted her body to face the back of the car and rolled her eyes.  ”I’m such a lucky girl.  What are you guys doing for V-day?”

“Ummmm…” Anna looked to Harry for him to answer, not being in the know of his plans.  Harry smirked when he saw her expectant expression.

“Ah, well, it is our first valentines day so yeah.. I’ve got some things in the works.  Will and I will be teaming up with some army buddies for a bit early in the day but then after that, nothing but romance, baby.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“He doesn’t,” Skip answered for him.  “Cause he has some lingerie to return as well.“

“Ha! You’re on your own with that one, wanker,” he said towards his mate before turning to his beaming girlfriend at his side.  “I don’t want to ruin the surprise.  But yes, expect to be swept off your feet.“

“Awww..” Anna cooed, bringing their entwined hands up to her lips.

“Boo,” Maggie pouted.  “I want romance.“

“Jesus, woman.  I’ll have some fucking roses delivered.  Would that make you happy?” Skip exasperated.

“Yes, as long as there’s a box of Godiva chocolates and promises of back rubs along with it.” Her phone buzzed with an alert and she gasped when she read over the new tweet from her Twitter app.  ”He tweeted about us!”

“Who?”

“That Joseph lad.”

“You mean he tweeted about me,” Harry chuckled.

Maggie lifted her gaze and squinted at him.  ”Not just you, conceited pig.  He mentioned Anna, too.”

“What does it say?” Anna asked.

“‘Prince Harry and his girl in attendance to my class this evening.  Hashtag I’m getting famous.’” Maggie read aloud.

“Twat,” Harry muttered, grunting when he felt the jab at his side from Anna’s elbow.

“Oh! Someone replied and asked whose painting came out the best.”

Harry grinned cockily.  ”Mine, of course.”

“You wish,” Anna teased.

Maggie giggled before reciting the tweet.  “‘Don’t mean to step on royalty toes but the fit brunette knows a wine bottle better than the prince.’”

“Ha!” Anna laughed loudly.

“What?! Bullshit!” Harry exclaimed just as he plucked the mobile from Maggie’s hand.  His eyes roved over the said tweets before a permanent scowl appeared on his face. “That’s preposterous! He had a thing for you!“

“He did not!” She insisted.

“Bastard.”

Skip spoke up.  ”He’s clearly a fool.  My wine bottle came out magnificent.”

“It had balls!” The trio exclaimed simultaneously.

“It was an unique wine bottle! It’s fucking art!”


	14. How He Perfected Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day.

For the past twenty nine years, Anna had never given much thought to the holiday of love where couples stressed over romantic gestures, while single women filled up on chocolate and participated in self-deprecating jokes with other single women over a bottle of wine and crappy TV.  It was a holiday she wasn’t too fond of, one that she never celebrated like most people did.

Growing up, her mom had always given each of them a valentine and she looked forward to the teddy bear holding a heart shaped pillow to add to her collection whilst her sweet tooth was fulfilled with the decorative mason jar filled with peach rings, her brothers complaining every year that they only got a single candy bar.  And then when she became a nurse, she slaved the morning of to make dozens and dozens of cake pops to take in to her little birds, contributing to the party the hospital threw for the patients and their families.

But the day and the true meaning behind it never sparked any feelings inside her.

Until this year.

She couldn’t deny for the first time that she was excited for the day, spending weeks anticipating it.  And it was no secret that Harry was determined to turn the holiday into one of her favorites.

It was just reaching 5:30am when Harry was rousing Anna awake with peppered kisses on her collarbone, rubbing her stomach from over the blankets that were twisted around her.  ”Anna…”

A low hum vibrated from her a couple times before she peeled her eyes open to see the shadows of his features, the clear blue of his eyes only visible from the paleness light of dawn that was filtering through the windows.

“Hmm..again?” She groggily asked, a small smile adorning her lips.

“I wish,” Harry chuckled, eyes roving over the disarray of her dark curls and her swollen eyes from the disrupted sleep.  He lowered his head and slanted his mouth over hers, rubbing her chilled nose from the nippy February air with his.  “I’ve gotta go, love.“

“No,” she pouted and pulled him closer to her, noticing for the first time he was fully dressed.  Her eyes landed on the clock beside the bed and cringed at the time.  “It’s too early.“

He pressed his forehead against hers before he replied.  ”It was too early twenty minutes ago when I got up.”

“Stay,” she pleaded, affectionately rubbing large circles on his back, sighing tiredly.  “Get under the covers with me.“

“Mm..” Harry moaned low in his throat when her nails lightly scratched at the back of his neck and he molded further to her, directly applying more of his weight.  He was exhausted and she was undeniably tempting with her warmth and comforting caresses, but he wanted to make today perfect for her and there was yet still much to do after he completed his commitments.

“There’s nothing that I want more than to do so..”

“But..?” Anna grunted as he pulled back, still peering down at her in amusement.

“I told Will I would meet up with him for a quick run before we head to the village.”

“Wah.”

Harry laughed inwardly and tapped her nose.  ”I’ll make it up to you later.”

“Better.  I’ve got high hopes for today, mister.”

“As you should,” he winked a look of mischief flashed in his eyes.  “You’ll..erm..be home by 1ish, correct?“

“More or less.”

He clicked his tongue.  ”Are you leaning towards more than less?”

“Umm..well, I’m heading to the hospital at like 9ish.  I’ll be there for a few hours.  So, yeah..should be back here at 1.” She smiled.  “Why?“

Harry cleared his throat.  ”No reason.”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed, unconvinced.

Harry kept bringing it up, kept fishing for her schedule and confirming more than once a day for the past week what time she expected to be home after spending the morning hours at the hospital, even though he thought he was being nonchalant about it.  But she knew him better than that.

“What time _should_ I be home?” Anna asked with eyebrows raised.

He had kept mum on their evening plans, going as far as denying her any clues on what he had up his sleeve.  And he could tell she was trying to come up with ways to make him slip, never giving up no matter how many times he shot her down.

Harry smirked, not falling for her tricks.

“Whenever you’d like, love.”

She wrinkled her nose in reply.  ”Fine, be that way.”

“Ha! You’ll find out soon enough, peaches.” He lowered his head to press his mouth on hers again, then pulled back completely.  “I really have to go before His Royal Oldness gets his knickers twisted.“

Anna giggled, even as the disappointment of not seeing him until later settled in her chest.  ”We can’t have that, can we?”

“Not when I have to suffer through the morning with him.”

“Don’t get on each others nerves too much.  I would like to have a proper valentines day and not an evening in the emergency room with an ice pack on your-”

Before she could finish, Harry’s howl of laughter sounded out, causing her to grin from ear to ear.

“If anything, he’ll be the one with damaged goods.”

They fell silent for a few moments, just gazing at each other with permanent smiles fixated on their faces, both stalling.

“What time will you be back?” Anna spoke up.

“Not sure yet.” He chortled at her brows furrowing together.

“How will I know when to get ready then?”

“I’ll let you know,” he answered, clearing his throat again.  “Alright, go back to sleep, my darling.“

Anna sighed and squeezed him tightly when he leaned to place a gentle kiss on her head.  ”Love you,” she mumbled.

“And I you.  Happy Valentine’s Day.”

————-

Anna stepped off the lift with her eyes cast down, softly humming to herself as she leafed through the mail she had picked up on her way in.  She was in good spirits despite the torrential rain that never let up on her journey home, thankfully she kept an umbrella in her oversized bag.  It was shaping up to be a good day.

The holiday party had been a hit with the kids.  Her little birds had presented her with a heart shaped cut out with their tiny hands printed on the cardboard in various paint colors, and now it hung proudly inside her locker, right beside the string of birds Harry had gifted her for Christmas.  They sat around her as she played the piano and sang any love song request they—or their parents—thought up.  And after sharing many sugary treats, she blew kiss after kiss and said her goodbyes.

Between the love she felt from her patients—all doing remarkably well that day—and the anticipation of spending the rest of the day with the man that made her happy, she couldn’t help but sing with a little pep in her step, not letting the rain damper her mood.

As she was reaching the door, a voice startled her and she whipped her head up, almost dropping the stack of mail.

“Miss Annalisa Caro?”

A scrawny young man with a company named cap stood at her door, smiling apologetically at her frightened expression before she recovered.  ”Oh, I’m sorry.  Yes, hi.. I’m Annalisa.”

“Delivery for you, miss.”

Her eyes fell on the large bouquet of peach colored roses.  ”Oh..wow.”

“Oh! There’s this, too..” He muttered a curse at himself for almost forgetting, then wrestled with trying to balance the heavy weight of the crystal vase as he reached for his back pocket.

“Here, let me..” She took long quick strides towards him, shoving the mail inside her bag, not once worrying over it getting wet from her still damp umbrella she had tossed in it once she was safely inside the building, and took the flowers from his hands.

“Thanks, sorry about that…It’s my first year helping my mum with her business so I’m a bit nervous…if you couldn’t tell,” he explained, yanking on the card.

“Oh, please..don’t be sorry.  I’m sure it’s quite tiresome having to do this all day.  And you are doing just lovely.”

He blushed at her soft smile and with shaky hands he handed the envelope over to her.

_Peaches_

Harry’s messy penmanship on the front caused the smile on her lips to spread wider before she securely placed the card in between her fingers and directed her attention back on the delivery boy.

“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.  I hope I haven’t backed you up.”

“No worries, Miss.  Enjoy the flowers.”

“I will, thank you,” she replied, eyes falling on the pretty arrangement.

“You’re welcome.  Have a lovely holiday.”

He moved past her and Anna lifted her eyes up from the bouquet long enough to throw a genuine ‘you too’ before the flowery scent drew her back.  Bringing her nose close, she inhaled the fresh and clean scent and smiled dreamily.

It took her a moment to balance the vase and card while unlocking the door, but as soon as she pushed it open, she made a quick dash to drop her bag and keys on the breakfast bar, sighing in relief.  Once the bouquet was safely on the counter as well, she grabbed the envelope and tore it open.

A giggle escaped past her lips, her heart galloping in her chest.

_Peaches,_

_It’s you, it’s you.  You make me sing.  You’re every line, you’re every word._

_You’re everything._

_Love,_

_Prince Charming_

_PS: Be ready by 4.  Sharp.  
_

_PPS: I mean it._

She read the short and sweet note over a hundred times as she stood there for a few minutes, letting the happiness flow freely through her.  He was _her_ everything.

Her heart leaped when her mobile buzzed in her coat pocket, the possibility of it being him to confirm she received the delivery causing her to quickly retrieve it.

_Gabe._

“Hey there, Gabriel,” she answered.

Gabe smiled joyfully at the sound of a smile in her voice, immediately transitioning into a good mood at how happy she seemed.  ”Hello, darling.  How are you doing?”

She snickered at his fake British accent and rolled her eyes.  ”Good.  How are you?”

“Glad to hear your voice.  Happy Cupid day.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, babe.  What’s up?”

“Nothing,” he lied.  “Just wanted to touch base.  How’s your knight in shining armour?“

“Ha! He would get a kick out of that one,” She laughed, gazing adoringly at the roses that decorated her flat.  “He’s good.  Busy and constantly in meetings.  But he’s amazing.“

“I hope you’re _relieving_ him from all that stress..” He teased.

“Agh..yes, well..he’s not the only one being _relieved_.”

Gabe let out a hefty laugh.  ”That’s my girl.”

“What are you and Danny up to today?”

“Nothing together, sadly.  He’s in Boston for the weekend and I’m on kitchen duty tonight.  The restaurant is all booked up because of the holiday.”

“Aw..spending the day of love apart? That doesn’t sound all that pleasant.” She instantly felt a pang of guilt for being so blissfully happy while her brother and his husband were spending the day in two different states, a holiday they normally went all out on the romantic gestures.

“Nah..but we got a skype date late tonight.  What are you and Harry doing? Besides making sweet love.”

“Ha! I don’t have the slightest clue.  He’s been secretive all week.”

“Maybe he’s going to propose.”

Anna groaned.  ”He is not.  Plus, I don’t think he would go the cliche route and propose on valentines day.”

“Hey!” Gabe exclaimed in protest.  “Daniel proposed on valentines day.“

“Yeah but we already know how corny and unoriginal he is,” she said before asking curiously.  “Speaking of Danny.  What’s he doing in Boston? Shouldn’t he be home with his husband, showering you with predictable-ness?“

Gabe’s laugh came out strange, almost forced.  ”That’s not even a word.”

“So buy me a thesaurus.  What’s going on?” She pressed, the haunting dread returning to the pit of her stomach.

“Everything’s okay, sweetheart.  Just business.”

She knew he was lying and as much as she wanted to press on and badger him until he spilled, she wasn’t entirely sure she was ready for it.

“Have you heard from Finn?” Gabe asked to change the subject, only increasing the bad feeling in her lower tummy.  “I just replied to his email.“

“Yeah..I skyped with him earlier this morning.  Did he tell you his contract got extended to July?”

“Yeah, he mentioned it.  He doesn’t seem all that bothered by it.”

“I thought the same.” She pondered it for a moment before voicing her thoughts aloud.  “You don’t think he’s..“

“Totally banging some army chick?” Gabe blurted.  “Abso-fucking-lutely.“

Anna chuckled.  ”Oh, Finny.”

“Finny booboo.” Laughter rang out.

“He hates us.”

“I know,” Gabe agreed.

“Okay..well, I better go.  I’ve got,” she paused and checked the time.  “Shit! I’ve got less than two hours to get ready.“

Gabe gasped in mock horror.  ”It takes you at least three to shape your eyebrows.”

“Shut the fuck up,” she laughed.

After another minute of light chatter, they said their goodbyes and Anna rushed to shower, wincing at the late start.

It took her exactly one hour to shave, shower, and lotion every inch of her skin.  It took another fifteen minutes to tweeze her brows, chuckling as she remembered Gabe’s comical remark, knowing how serious she took shaping her brows to her own personal perfection.  That only left her with another twenty-five minutes to dress, fix up her hair, and apply makeup.

The reality of not being ready by the time he got there to pick her up was becoming more and more likely and that could result in one way.

He was going to kill her.

With the towel wrapped around her head, she sprinted into her room and pulled the red cocktail dress she had purchased the day before off the hanger and laid it neatly on the bed.  Glancing at the time, she cursed repeatedly and quickly folded over at the waist to dry her hair.

She was never going to hear the end of this, he would make sure of it.

By the time she had managed to shimmy into the dress and style her hair in loose curls that bounced on her shoulders, a knock sounded at the door, alerting her of his arrival before she heard the familiar click of the key unlocking the door.

“Anna?” He called out.

“Fuck,” she muttered before calling out to him.  “Yeah? I’m in here!“

“Dave’s gonna take a look over.  Are you decent?”

“Ummm..yeah..” She answered distractedly, applying the black eyeliner on her lower lid.

“Does that mean you’re actually ready to go?” There was no mistaking the surprise in his tone.

“Uh..sure,” she lied, gliding the pencil on the other lid quicker than before and moving onto the mascara.  She caught the reflection of an amused Dave and smiled at his soft chuckle.  “It would be in your best interest to check the closets three times..just to make sure I’m not boarding any criminal with Harry on his hit-list.“

“Noted,” he said with a wink and proceeded to go back in the direction he had come from, stalling per her request.

“How was your day?” She asked Harry from the bathroom, applying the cream shadow to both lids.

“Alright.  A bit hectic but fine nonetheless. How was the party?”

“Good.  They enjoyed the fudge brownies more than the cake pops.  I think it was the heart shaped sprinkles,” she said, continuing the mindless chatter.

“Mm..”

She could hear his patience wearing thin and didn’t have to see him to know he was shifting his weight back and forth on his heels, his hands deep in his pockets and his lips pressed together.  The thought alone made the anticipation of seeing him create butterflies in her stomach.

“I saved a batch for you in the oven,” she said in an attempt to not only distract Harry but herself as well.  “Help yourself.“

“Maybe later,” he replied, absentmindedly.

”I got your flowers, by the way.  I love them, thank you.”

“Mhm..” A deep sigh followed.  “What are you doing?“

“Umm..I’ll be right out, just sending out a quick email.”

“From the laptop that’s on the sofa?” He asked, dryly.  “Are you not fucking ready, Caro?“

“From my phone, silly,” the lie slipped a little too easily out of her mouth.

“You couldn’t have done that before? I said 4pm sharp.  Where the hell are you, Dave?! Christ.”

“Ooh, grouch is out tonight,” Anna teased just before she rubbed her lips together to evenly smooth the lipgloss.

Harry growled in relief when Dave appeared at the door, nodding his head with a chuckle.  Harry narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him, only to receive an innocent shrug from his longtime PO.

He hadn’t meant to come off as sounding rude, in fact it was the last thing he wanted to do today out of all days.  But he had been itching for this time of day when he would be in her glowing presence and the stress from the day would melt away.  No more would there be meetings and deadlines on his mind, just the incredible woman he was hoping to sweep off her feet.

Just as Harry stepped foot into the flat to seek her out and whine about her not following his wishes, Anna strode into the room, her bright smile stopping him dead in his tracks.  His eyes swept over her form, appreciating the way the material clung to her curves and showed off her toned legs, diverting his train of thought.

“Wow,” he breathed, laying a hand over his pounding chest when his eyes fell to her feet that were slipped inside of black platform heels.  “Damn, baby.“

“Does it look okay for where we’re going?” She asked, her cheeks turning pink at his reaction.

“We don’t have to go anywhere,” he smirked, taking the few steps to her to place his hands on her waist.  “We could just stay here and..“

“Nuh-uh, mister.” Anna weakly pushed against his chest with her hands, gazing up at him with her head upturned.  “You promised me romance.“

He ducked his head and pulled her flush against him.  ”You look stunning,” his husky whisper did things to her lower belly, feeling the pull of his intent stare before his lips laid over hers.

“Thank you,” her blush deepened.  “You’re looking pretty damn handsome yourself, captain.“ The sight of him in the dark blue jeans and collared shirt that was underneath the cashmere sweater made the butterflies in her stomach multiple by hundreds when she had first laid eyes on him, no doubt about that.

Harry grinned cockily at her and Anna playfully rolling her eyes.  ”What was that about me not being ready?” She glanced at the time on her watch.  ”You said 4 sharp and it’s 4 on the dot.”

Harry clicked his tongue then kissed her, again tasting the gloss that shined her hypnotic lips.

“You’re wrong.  It’s 4:01.  I think we should stay here so I can show you what happens to naughty girls who can’t follow simple instructions.”

Anna bit her lip, contemplating it.  ”Is that your attempt to get out of wining and dining me?”

“Mm..the way I see it, you’re all the sweet wine I need and there would most definitely be much of dining on you for me..” Harry winked with a suggestive grin.

“In that case..” Anna said in a low seductive tone, suggestively running her hands up and down his chest.  “Maybe I’ll save what’s underneath this dress for another time.”

Harry’s ears perked up, his grabby hands smoothing over her round bottom.  “Why can’t I see it now?”

“Because,” she began, pressing her chest against his.  “It was your reward for taking me out.”

“I don’t get a reward for eating you ou-”

“Henry!”

“What?” he laughed, reluctantly pulling away to avoid her persistent smacks on the chest.  “No one’s around.”

“Dave’s not behind that door waiting for us?” She asked, brows lifted high.

“Who cares? He’s heard us fucking before.”

“Shut up! No, he hasn’t!” She denied the way she always did when they argued over the same thing.

“If you say so..”

——

Although Harry went to long efforts to try to keep everything about the evening on the down low, he knew it would only be a matter of time when Anna would figure out where the date would begin.  It took fifty-five minutes into the drive when Anna smiled a big toothy smile as she turned to him, looping her arm through his and cuddling him as he drove the car to their destination.

“The Bear,” she said.

“Do I get the Caro stamp of approval?” He asked, sneaking a quick glance to his left at her.

“It’s becoming our place, isn’t it?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

“It’s been our place since the first date.  I know it’s not extravagant dining bu-”

“It’s perfect,” Anna interrupted, placing a soft kiss on his cheek before resting her head on his bicep.  “I love you.”

Harry smiled in return, keeping his focus on the wet road ahead, and leaned his head to rest on top of hers.  “I love you, too.”

Comfortable silence settled between them, the only sound being the pitter patter of the rain and the windshield wipers swooshing every so often, interrupting the soft music that was playing on the radio.  It was a change of pace from the constant chatter they participated in during the first hour of the almost two hour drive into Oxford, Harry thought, as he reflected on how they conversed about the humorous incidents from the hospital’s party and Harry’s aggravating run in with the paps while he and his brother were loading sandbags in aid of the recent floodings.

Harry had never been a fan of reporters, it was a known fact around the world, and he didn’t care enough to hide his views on the profession.  He battled with turning the other cheek, his anger getting the best of him at times, and as much as he cursed them to his mates, the only people in his life that knew exactly what it was like being the ones that were hounded as well.

And Anna was quickly becoming one of them.  The public interest was growing more and more as time went on and they were spotted out and about with entwined hands and sharing a few kisses in plain view.  She never mentioned it, never once complained about pictures being taken while she stepped out of the gym with Maggie or while walking through the streets of London with Starbucks in one hand.  Not even when she was photographed going to and from the hospital in her scrubs.  While in past relationships Harry found it concerning when more paps were getting their shots, he somehow felt slightly more at ease with Anna.  It wasn’t safe to say he wasn’t bothered by it at all and felt fearless of the outcome of the media hype, but it didn’t keep him up at night.

Partly because for the first time in a relationship, Anna made it seem as if that part of being with him didn’t mean a single thing.  She didn’t look at it as baggage.  She loved him for his heart, and that’s all that mattered to her.  She was strong enough to handle the press, ignoring some of the most intrusive questions that were thrown at her while she made the journey home, and it never phased her.  But that also didn’t mean she wouldn’t run to his defense when Harry had an aggravating day with the photographers.  She always sided with him and let him rant until he was blue in the face before she was able to turn it around and make him smile with a silly joke, as she always did.

He inwardly chuckled at how compatible they were.  Not only was she passionate about the world and humanity, but was also silly and equally childish like he was; a deep thinker and a lover of children and animals.  Together, they were destined to do great things, he was certain of that.

“I fucking love this song.” Anna’s gasp interrupted his thoughts as she reached for the dial to turn the radio up.  “ _Cause I wanna wrap you up, wanna kiss your lips, I wanna make you feel waaaanted_.”

Harry chuckled as he watched her from the corner of his eye bouncing around in her seat and singing in tune.  It didn’t take long before he joined in, his deep voice that sang off key making her giggle in between her own overly done performance.

“ _Anyone can tell you you’re pretty_..” She sang, playfully batting her lashes at him as he looked directly at her when he reached a stop light.  “ _And you get that all the time.. I know you do_.”

He smirked at her narrowed eyes before he briefly shut his eyes with his face contorted, belting out the ballad.  “ _But your beauty is deeper than the makeup!_ ”

“I cannot believe I got you to start singing Hunter Hayes willingly.”

“Ha! Don’t think I didn’t notice the random country music I found on my iPod.”

Anna shrugged, her lips twitching.  “It’s okay to aspire to be a cowboy, Wales.  You don’t have to be a closeted country fan.  And it doesn’t hurt Hunter Hayes is cute.  I understand the attraction.”

Harry quirked a brow before diverting his attention back on the road.  “He’s also twelve so that makes you a pedophile.”

Anna laughed outright.  “He’s in his early twenties.  Stop it, Mr-I’m-seeing-red-because-my-girlfriend-called-some-other-dude-cute.”

He snorted.  “Hardly.  And early twenties still qualifies you as robbing the cradle, don’t you think, old lady?”

“Shut up,” she lightly pinched his arm playfully.  “That’s the last time I tell you I found a gray.”  Harry’s boisterous laugh droned out the music.  “And as much as I love the ginger locks, I can’t wait for you to get your first white strand of hair.”

“Half of your head will be gray by then, sweetheart.”

“Asshole,” she laughed in spite of herself.

——-

By the time they got to the pub, the rain let up enough to get from the car to inside without the aid of an umbrella.  Harry guided her to a secluded reserved booth, the same they had occupied almost a year ago, and helped her slip out of her coat.

Anna chortled as she slid inside the booth, pulling down the hem of her dress that rid up.

“What’s so funny?” Harry asked, taking his own seat across from her.

“The first time we were here, I threatened to cause you bodily harm.  Do you remember that?”

Harry snickered.  ”How could I forget? You were insisting you could take on Dave.”

“Edward.”

Harry’s brows furrowed together.  ”Was it?”

“Yes, it was Edward on duty on our first date.  He sat a few booths that way,” she pointed behind her shoulder.  “Your memory is going, grandpa.“

“Ha! Coming from the one who has to dye her hair to cover up the old age.”

Harry grinned triumphantly at the mouth dropped open reaction he caused.  Anna recovered quickly and grabbed the fork that was tucked neatly inside a napkin.

“I shoulda stabbed you with this the first time I had the chance.”

Harry raised his hands in front of his chest, defensively.  ”Easy, shortcake.  Put the weapon down and I won’t have to use my panic button.”

Anna giggled.  ”Panic button.  I’ve always wondered what would happen if you pressed it right now?”

Before he could respond, the waiter appeared at the end of the table with a fresh bottle of expensive bubble in one hand and two slim glasses in the other.

“Good evening,” he greeted, passing a secretive look with Harry that Anna didn’t seem to catch, too impressed by the Bollinger label on the black tinted bottle.

“My name is Stephen and I will be your waiter.  May I interest you in our finest champagne?”

“Please,” Harry answered, eyes focusing on Anna’s pink cheeks as she watched the peach sparkling champagne fill their glasses.

“Thank you,” her soft spoken words were almost inaudible, still in awe.

“You are most welcome, miss.  Sir, the.. ahem.. _dish_ you ordered should be out shortly.”

Harry nodded and smiled kindly.  ”Ah, yes.. Thank you, Stephen.”

“My pleasure.” The waiter bowed his head after settling the rest of the heavy bottle on the table.

“Dish?” Anna spoke up as soon as he was out of earshot, eyeing him dubiously.

Harry smiled and cleared his throat, reaching for the flute.  ”You’ll see,” he simply said.  ”Shall we toast?”

Anna lifted up her own flute.  ”Go for it.”

He chuckled before beginning in a smooth voice.  ”To the most amazingly talented and gorgeous woman to ever put up with my sorry arse-“

“And to the most intelligent and handsome man to ever put up with my sorry arse,” she said in spite of his pursed lips at the interruption.

“I hope tonight and every night here on after goes beyond your expectations.”

She tilted her head to one side, eyes glistening as she spoke softly.  ”It already has.”

“It’s barely begun!”

“Being with you is all I could ever wish for, Harry.”

Harry was touched at the love that shone in her amber orbs, at how she looked so blissfully happy in this moment that she couldn’t help but tear up.

“To us,” he said, clinking their glasses together.

“To us.”

Moments later, Stephen returned with an impressive covered platter that piqued her interest.

“Per your request, sir.”

After thanking the waiter, Harry met Anna’s curious stare, a broad smile spreading on his lips.

“What’s that?”

“Why don’t you go ahead and see for yourself?”

“Because I’m afraid it’s some sort of sick prank.”

“Ha! What sick prank could it possibly be?”

“I don’t know.  Your dick on a silver platter or something.”

Harry almost spit out the champagne in surprise.

“Fuck, Anna!” His shoulders shook with laughter.  “Where have you been all my life?“

Anna was about to respond but her breath caught in her throat when she removed the lid far enough to get a look inside.

“Harry,” she gushed, throat coated with overwhelming emotion.

He covered her delicate hand with his and assisted her with unveiling one of many other surprises.

A single peach rose lay neatly beside the real surprise that stole her breath.

“How did you..”

Anna lifted the mason jar with both hands that was filled with peach rings, the jar decorated exactly the way her mom always did when she was growing up.

“Danny emailed me a picture of what they looked like every year.  It’s one of your happiest memories as a kid and I wanted to give that to you.” Her tear filled eyes met his hopeful ones.  “Do you like it?”

“Harry,” she choked out, weighing the jar in one hand to reach across the table to grasp his in hers.  She gave him a squeeze.  “I love it.  I don’t know what to say to even begin to express just how much this means to me.  How much _you_ mean to me.”

Harry smiled and brought their entwined hands up to his mouth.  ”You don’t have to say anything.  I already know.”

After Harry insisted on Anna treating herself to the sour and sweet candy, accepting a couple from her outstretched hand for himself, their food arrived.  Harry shrugged at her amused realization that he had this dinner planned down to the T, going as far as pre-ordering the same exact meal they shared several months ago.

“You weren’t kidding when you said you had a lot to get done before tonight,” she said, taking a bite out of her Cajun chicken sandwich.

“You ain’t seen nothing yet,” he replied, chomping on the onion rings he stole from her plate.

“You never answered my question,” she stated, wrinkling her nose at him drenching his fries with ketchup.

“Which one?”

“What happens exactly when you hit panic?”

“Well…” He began, chewing a mouthful of his burger before swallowing.  “About ten police vehicles would screech to a stop outside and Dave would stand in front of me like a human bulletproof vest in a matter of seconds,” he answered in a deadpan.

“Would Mel Gibson and Danny Glover jump out of one of the cop cars?” Watching Harry throw his head back and howl with laughter caused a fit of giggles to rise from her throat.

“Yes,” Harry managed to say as he wiped his eyes.  “My life resembles a cop film.“

“Hm,” Anna hummed with a smirk.  “I wouldn’t mind seeing you in a cop uniform.“

“I wouldn’t mind seeing you out of that dress,” he retorted in an undertone.  “Care to show me a sneak peek?“

“Mmmm..” She appeared to be in thought, her face slightly upturned.  “Nope.“

He didn’t respond, just kept his eyes at the rare genuine beauty that sat across from him, temporarily forgetting the plate in front of him.  She was dipping an onion ring in the bbq sauce she had requested, and he didn’t know what caused the burst of emotion that took over him suddenly, but it was as if he had gotten hit with just how lucky he was to have her for the second time that night.

“You’re staring.”

“You’re beautiful,” Harry blurted.  Her immediate warm gaze melted his insides, noticing how her hypnotic eyes sparkled in the dim lighting.  “What?” He asked, mirroring the way her head tilted to one side and her broad smile that did wonders to his heart.

“I feel it when I’m around you.”

Harry leaned forward, his torso hovering over the table below them, and cupped her cheeks.

“You should feel beautiful all the time,” he softly said, just before his lips captured hers in a gentle kiss, tasting the tangy sauce mixed with the sugary remnants of the candy.

 

————

Taking advantage of the clear night sky after a rainy winter day, Harry and Anna strolled through the garden area of the pub with arms linked, huddled closely together to keep warm from the bitter cold.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Harry asked when they stopped walking, smiling at the crooked rose that he had planted behind her ear before stepping outside.  He repositioned it to prevent it from falling.

“Yes, very much,” Anna answered, craning her neck to peer into his blue orbs.  “You really are Prince Charming,” she teased, eliciting a chuckle from him.

He unlinked their arms and took her hand to randomly twirl her around, Anna squealing in delight.  Pulling her back to him, he swung an arm securely around her waist.  “Dance with me.”

“With no music?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

She smiled, knowing he was right.  They began to sway in sync to an imaginary beat, Anna’s head on his chest.

“Amazing, isn’t it?” Anna asked in a whisper, filling the silence.

“Hm?”

She wrapped her arm tighter around his waist and hugged him closer.  ”How far we’ve come from that first date.”

Harry hummed in reply, sighing deeply.  There was a time he thought coming back here was never going to happen, knowing there was no way he could set foot into this place without her by his side.  But here they were.

“I want you to know that whatever happens in the near future, I’m still all in,” she said, looking up at him as he smiled down at her.  “Always.“

“I’m all in, too.”

“You’ve always been,” she smiled.  “I really don’t know why you put up with my shit but you do it with such patience.“

“Because I’m committed to protecting the love of my life.” Her twinkling golden eyes matched her dazzling smile at his heartfelt words.  “I’ve made mistakes and I’m sure I’ll make more down the road but I promise to never hurt you so badly that it’ll be incurable.  I promise to never give you a deal breaker.“

“I know, Harry.  I’m..”

“What?”

Anna laughed lightly.  ”I’m _me_.  I take ten steps forward to only jump back twenty.”

“And I’ll be there to pick you up so we can take thirty steps ahead.  Together.”

She was quiet for a few moments before she confessed in a low tone, unable to voice it louder.  ”I’m afraid you’re going to give up on me after awhile.”

Harry’s heart twisted at her confession.  ”Baby, I will never give up on you.  I think I already proved that before…But I will spend the rest of our lives proving that to you.”

Anna sniffled and nodded.  ”Promise?”

He smiled slightly and brought his hand up to tangle in her hair, tilting her head back for easy access to her lips.  Placing sweet and gentle kisses over her reciprocating mouth repeatedly, Harry promised her everything without having to utter a single syllable.

Harry was the first to pull back, feeling warm all over despite the nippy air.  He began the same rhythm of their dance, twirling her once again and laughing along with her when she bumped into his chest clumsily.  Then a mischievous look in his eye got her attention and she felt her stomach dip when he pulled her close to sing deeply in her ear.

“ _Whisper to me softly, breathe words upon my skin..No one’s near and listening.. Promise me you’ll stay with me and keep me warm tonight..Just hold me close and love me, press your lips to mine_..”

Harry heard the breath hitch in her throat as he huskily added the next part, causing her knees to buckle.

“ _Mmm feels so right. Feels so right_.”

Anna held him tightly, moving along with him effortlessly.  ”You never cease me to amaze me.”

“ _Ah, you feel so right baby_ …”

She smiled when his hands moved lower on her waist, dangerously reaching the curve of her bottom.

“I take it back…I want you in a cowboy hat and cowboy boots.”

“Ha..tight jeans and a checkered shirt?”

“You already have the checkered shirt.”

He quirked a brow.  ”Who says I don’t have the hat and boots and tight jeans?”

“Fuck me,” Anna blurted at the possibility.

Harry grinned, licking his lower lip.  ”I intend to, love.  But first, are you ready for some real dancing?”

Her eyes grew in size.  ”What?!” She asked, excitedly.

“This was just a warm up.  We’ve got a dance lesson in about twenty minutes.”

“Are you serious?!”

“Mmhmm.. Will you be alright in those shoes?”

“Screw the shoes!” She leaned back and formed the position of a dip, Harry snorting as he caught her.  ” _I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody! Yeaaaah..I wanna dance with somebody..with somebody who loooves me_..”

“Okay, Whitney..let’s go bring the heat then.”

———-

“Five, Six, Seven, Eight.  Slow and slow and quick, quick.  Slow and slow and quick, quick.”

“I’m going to be versing that in my darkest nightmares,” Harry muttered low enough for only Anna’s ears as he followed the steps.   _Walk, walk, and side together,_ he recited to himself.

Anna broke her focus at the frightened look Harry pulled when he almost missed a step, her body shaking with her giggles as they both wobbled.  ”Stop! Don’t break my concentration.”

“Foxtrot would be your fucking choice of ballroom dance,” he groaned.

“Quit your bitching and focus.”

“Very good..” The male instructor complimented as he reviewed their steps.  He stood behind Harry and straightened his posture by pulling on his shoulders and waist, then raised their clasped hands slightly higher to reach Anna’s eye level.  “There we go.. Much better.  Make sure to keep your shoulders straight and your hands approximately at the lady’s eye level.”

“Yes, sir.” Harry joked, creating chuckles.

“You’re doing marvelous for beginners.  Just remember to keep the frame sturdy and free of tension..and try not to count the steps in your head.  Let it flow naturally.”

“Tell that to two left feet over here,” Harry said, receiving a protest from Anna.

“Hey! Watch your toes, partner, or I might miss a step purposely.”

Harry paused and turned towards the amused instructor.  “You see.. two left feet.  Ow!” Anna smiled smugly at the professional teacher who was doubling over in laughter at the pair.

“I’d watch out for this one,” he said, patting Harry on the back before making rounds to the other couples in the studio.

“Abusing me in front of people,” he clicked his tongue, forming the proper body position before resuming the practice.  “Not nice.”

“That’s what you get for making fun of me,” she replied, wincing when Harry caught her toe.

“Shit.. sorry.”

“At least I don’t have enormous feet like you.”

“You know what they say about enormous feet..”

She ignored his sexual innuendo and soldiered on, holding her breath in preparation of the sting of him stepping on her toes that was to come for the rest of the lesson.

“Great job everyone!  We’re moving onto the left turning box.  This involves long steps this time.  It’s counted on just one slow instead of two slows as before.  Form positions with your partners.”

Harry breathed deeply and pulled another funny face as he faced Anna, placing his hand on the back of her shoulder.  “I’m apologizing in advance.”

“Oh boy.. Maybe steel toe was the better footwear for tonight,” she said as she rested her hand on his shoulder while they joined hands.

“We are going to go slow, quick-quick.  Slow, quick-quick.  And gentlemen, lead your ladies into the turns.”

“Here we go..” Harry announced as he followed the direction and sound of the pace from the female instructor this time.

“Slow.. quick-quick.  Slow.. quick-quick.  Good! Turn your torso to the left to swing smoothly.  Just a quarter turn… Very nice, Harry and Anna…”

Hearing their names being said in front of the class caused them to break their concentration, both wobbling and laughing as they stepped on each others feet repeatedly, trying to bounce back but failing miserably.

“Wai- _ow_! Hang on! _Ow_!”

“Sto- _Ow_ , Harry! _Ow_! Crap..”

The entire class broke out into hysterics as they witnessed the famous pair lose balance and fall into each other, howling with laughter right along with them.

———

Harry and Anna stumbled out of the lift, hanging onto each other as they snickered over the dance lesson that turned out comically disastrous. Harry pounded the security key into the number pad at the door and pushed it open once it gave him the green go.

“Shit,” he laughed.  “My feet are fucking killing me.”

“Oh god.. I can’t even begin to imagine how many pictures Dave had to…” She trailed off once she got a good look around the room Harry had reserved for the night.  “ _Harry_..”

The foyer of the large room was illuminated by the glow of the endless amount of lit candles, rose petals scattered to form a large heart in the center of the room.

“Wow.. This is.. dangerous.”

He came up behind her and folded his arms around her chest, holding her close. “Dangerous?” He questioned.  “What do you mean?”

“All these candles.. lit without any supervision..”

Harry chuckled, burying his nose in her curls and inhaling the flowery scent.  “I thought you wanted to feel the heat with somebody?”

Anna giggled and leaned back on him, his body heat warming her instantly.  “Tonight has been so perfect, Harry.  Dinner and dancing—if you can call it that—was just wonderful. But this,” she paused to turn and face him, closing the space between them immediately. “Being alone with you.. being in your arms.. This tops it.” Harry sighed in mock relief, more giggles sounding from her.

His most favorite sound.

“I have something to give you that I hope may make this part of the night even better.”

He pulled away from her and walked towards the side table, carefully opening the drawer and revealing a small box that was inside.  Anna felt her heart beat wildly inside her chest, her palms sweating as she thought of the many things that could possibly be in the tiny confinement.  Slowly turning towards her, he smirked at her heaving chest.

“Harry..” She croaked out, feeling the tremble in her legs.  “Wha-what is that?”

“This?” He asked, prolonging his answer to make her sweat.  He tossed it up in the air and caught it easily in one hand.  “What do you think it is?”

She eyed him, taking in his long stride and cocky grin and felt herself calm down slowly.  He wasn’t proposing.  He would’ve been sweating like Niagara Falls if he were, that she was certain of.

“Christ,” she muttered, laying a hand over her heart that was finally beating normally.  “You scared me.”

“I know,” Harry snickered.  “Is marrying me so scary?”

“Right now? Yes.”

He took the final short steps and held the small box in front of her.  “One day, there’s going to be the most gorgeous ring you’ve ever seen in here and I will make you say yes.”

Anna swallowed.  “I won’t make any final decisions until I see the ring first.”

“Ha!” He laughed before shaking it, tantalizing her.  “Do you want it?”

“Truthfully?” She said, taking the box from his hand.  “Yes, even though I asked you not to get me anything fancy.”

“I know but.. I wanted to.”

“And Captain Wales gets what he wants,” she said, sarcastically.

“Glad to see you’re catching on, love.  Go ahead, open it.”

She took a calming breath before pulling the top off and depositing the velvet box in the palm of her hand.  She looked up at Harry and pressed her lips together, brows raised high to match his.  She kept her gaze on his as she flipped the top open but once her eyes cast downward, a gasp slipped between her parted lips.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, peaches.”

Two rows of beautiful round diamonds adorned an infinity symbol on a small delicate band.

“ _Wow_ ,” she breathed out, speechless.  “Harry.. _wow_..”

Harry took her pointer finger and traced the infinity symbol on the silver band.  “I want you to always remember that my love for you, Annalisa, is endless.”

“Infinite.”

“Infinite.”


	15. How It All Fell Apart (part 1)

Subconsciously twirling the band that had made a permanent home on her ring finger, nerves bubbled inside of her chest as she laid flat on her back.  She stared up at the plain tiled ceiling, mentally counting her breaths to keep herself from falling apart, inhaling deeply on three beats then exhaling slowly out the mouth on another three.

It wasn’t working.

All she could do was feel the panic in the pit of her belly, the anxiety that constricted her chest as she grew numb to the strange wet and coldness against her heated skin and a familiar voice that sounded too far away to comprehend.

“Are you ready?”

She couldn’t hear the question she was asked.. she couldn’t hear anything but the pounding of her pained heart as she wondered to herself.

How did she get here?

———

_Light filtered through the floor length windows, the unusual rays of the winter sun casting on the two figures that lay tangled together under the sheets.  Anna was the first to wake, startled by the early afternoon hour.  They rarely slept in this late.  But it shouldn’t have surprised her with the all nighter they had pulled, starting off by taking full advantage of the jacuzzi in the suite after Anna revealed the very racy slip completed with a garter belt she wore underneath her dress all evening._

_Harry’s heart had stopped and his throat became instantly dry at the sight she presented him with.  It was an expression she would never forget._

_Anna raised her head that had been on his chest as they slept and smiled at the sleeping man that made her heart flutter with just a single look.  After twisting around carefully to untangle some of the covers to a more comfortable position, she lifted a hand to trace his prominent features, momentarily pausing when he stirred.  A single finger sloped down his long nose and over the faint freckles on his cheek, the sparkles from the sunlight hitting directly on the new diamonds on her finger making her giddy._

_Last night had been absolutely amazing.  From the sweet and thoughtful start and fun middle, to the champagne and chocolate covered strawberries they shared while soaking in the jacuzzi before spending the rest of the night making love until the morning hours.  Anna sighed deeply as the memory of the night flashed through her mind like flipping through a photo album, each picture holding such emotion._

_She never knew she could ever feel such a strong love for another like she did Harry._

_Anna pulled her hand back when a low rumble erupted from his chest and his nose twitched.  She softly chuckled when he fell still once again, shaking her head at the way he could fall asleep within seconds.  Something sparked inside of her and she bit her lower lip as she contemplated on the proper way to thank him for a perfect evening._

_With a small smirk lifting up the corners of her mouth, her hand traveled from his chest down to his lower belly where she innocently stroked the small patch of hair underneath his belly button.  Her eyes focused on his sleeping form to look for any sign of him waking up, when she saw nothing but a peacefully slumbering Harry, she grew bold and inched her caress across his hipbone and down to the top of his thigh, soothingly tickling the flesh she found there.  A flutter of movement behind his lids caused her to stop her action and once she got the sense he was still dead to the world, her nails lightly scratched his skin, creating goosebumps._

_“Mmm..” Harry moaned with his eyes still shut but Anna caught the sheet that covered her active hand and his lower region stir abruptly, a seductive smile adorning her lips at what that meant._

_“Harry..” she whispered._

_“Hmm..” he hummed in reply to her sweet honey voice._

_“Are you awake, my love?” His brows furrowed together when her whispered breath fanned his face, her hand gliding towards his growing erection._

_“Mm-mm..”_

_She giggled quietly and circled the head of his cock with a finger before running it down his entire length that was now fully erect.  A grunt followed a low moan with her light feathered touches.  When she wrapped her hand firmly around his cock and began an excruciating slow pace, a sharp inhale came from him, his lashes still resting on his now flushed cheeks._

_“Are you awake now?” She asked against his cheek before tracing the shell of his ear with the tip of her tongue and tugging on his earlobe._

_“No,” he groggily mumbled, his harsh breaths increasing in time with her pace._

_“Hm..how can I get Captain Wales to open his gorgeous blue eyes?” She teasingly asked, removing her hand and ignoring his incoherent protests.  It didn’t take long before she pulled the covers up and slipped underneath them further until they were completely over her head, his wide smile being the last thing she saw before darkness._

——-

Anna inwardly scowled at the memory of them wasting another full day in that bed, well past the time they were supposed to check out and Harry had to book another day after receiving a phone call from the concierge.

That’s probably how she got here, she thought.

How incredibly naive of her to think everything was going according to her plan.  How stupid of her to believe her and Harry were in the same place.. that they wanted the same exact things.  How did she not see it when all the signs were right in front of her?

It was written all over his face just days ago.

———

_“Well, hello there, little guy.  Aren’t you precious?” Anna cooed as she knelt down._

_“Save that for the actual baby,” Harry joked as he shut the heavy door.  
_

_She looked up and laughed before bowing her head once again to scratch behind the dog’s ears.  Lupo’s tail wagged happily and his tongue hung out the side of his mouth as he panted, a big smile on his furry face._

_“Oh goodness..I want to take you home with me,” she said, leaning her face down to accept many wet kisses._

_“Alright, Lupo.. Quit trying to put the moves on my woman.” Harry patted Lupo’s head and lightly tapped his behind to make him trot away.  He turned to Anna and assisted her with standing back up, scowling at her snickering and muttering about him being jealous of a dog._

_“Oh, hey.  I thought I heard something out here,” Kate said, her heels clicking against the marble floor announcing her presence._

_“Yeah, your mutt trying to make a home in my fucking bed.”_

_“Ha! He doesn’t have to try too hard, I’m sure.  Did you ring? I didn’t hear it.”_

_“I told Wills we were on our way and he said not to bother with the doorbell.”_

_“God, no,” Kate laughed, tiredly._

_It was then that Anna noticed the sleep deprived mother.  She had always known Kate to have a perfect hairstyle the times she had seen her, but now she witnessed even a duchess had her off days, taking in the disheveled up-do with strands of hair falling to frame her delicate face.  
_

_Kate stifled a yawn.  “Excuse me.. He’s finally gone down for a nap after a long struggle.”_

_“Teething?” Anna asked, already knowing the answer.  She remembered the same appearance from years ago with Kathie when Benny was going through the same stage as George._

_“Teething and screaming-”_

_“And pooping like a horse,” Will finished as he entered the foyer._

_“Takes after his pops, then,” Harry said, chuckling at his brother’s middle finger being the only response._

_Anna placed a hand on Harry’s bicep and squeezed, silently warning him to play nice.  “Should we come back another time? You both could use the rest while he’s sleeping.”_

_“No, no,” Kate waved her over.  “Come.  He’ll be awake in a matter of minutes anyway.”_

_Kate was absolutely right.  Not even five minutes passed of the foursome sitting in the family room before wails filled the couple’s home, Lupo’s ears perking up at the intrusive sound._

_“I got him this time, poppet.  Why don’t you fix up the tea?”_

_Anna stood up.  “Would you like some help, Kate?”_

_“Sure,” she smiled kindly, linking arms with Anna as they strode into the kitchen, chatting along like they were longtime friends, leaving Harry behind without a second glance back._

_“Great, leave me with the mutt,” he called out.  Loud panting was heard to his left and he chuckled when he saw Lupo’s dark eyes staring up at him.  “You’re such a good boy,” he said as he scratched his ears the same way Anna had been.  “But let’s learn to keep your paws to your own kind, yeah? Maybe I’ll fix you up with a bitch sometime soon..”_

_By the time Anna and Kate had returned, both carrying a tray filled with full cups of tea, sugar, and tiny silver spoons, Will was wiping spit up from his blue collared shirt while Harry bounced a happy baby on his knees._

_“What happened here?”_

_“He threw up on Will,” Harry informed his sister-in-law with a grin.  “I love this kid.”_

_Anna had witnessed Harry around kids before during his charity events, going as far as fangirling along with the many admirers of his as he threw or kicked a ball around with a bunch of little ones.  He always looked so natural and content as he laughed and played with them.  It pulled at her heartstrings every single time._

_But watching Harry bounce his nephew on his knees and pull funny faces to get a loud belly laugh out of him, she felt something that she couldn’t pinpoint._

_“See, all he needed was his handsome uncle to get him into a good mood.  Right, Georgie?”_

_Adorable squeals left the little boy’s mouth as he excitedly waved his chubby arms in the air, his hands balled up into tiny fists.  Anna made way to sit beside Harry again and looked on with a warm smile, laughing along as they watched George’s joyful screeches increase in volume the higher Harry bounced him._

_“And up we go.. Up we go..”_

_“Hello, there beautiful boy.” George’s attention went to Anna when she leaned closer to Harry’s side and he made a dash forward to grab hold of her curls in his fists, forcefully tugging them.  “Oh.. yes, pleased to meet you too.. We can shake on it this way.”_

_“No, no, no, George!” Kate softly said as she tried to break his fist to release Anna’s hair.  “I’m so sorry!” She quickly apologized despite Anna’s wave of telling her it was alright.  “Do nice, Georgie.. Nice..”_

_George stared with mouth agape as he heard his mum and dad recite the same word over and over while Kate took his hand and repeated the motion of caressing Anna’s hair._

_“Ah, it’s quite alright, little man,” Harry said.  “She’s used to a Windsor pulling on her hair.”_

_“Harry!” Both Kate and Anna scolded as the two men laughed at his sexual innuendo.  Anna felt her face heat up, mentally formulating a murder plot._

_“What? It’s a Windsor thing, ain’t that right, Will?”_

_Kate looked over at her husband behind her shoulder, threatening him with a death glare.  Will lifted his hands in front of his chest and shrugged his shoulders.  “You’re on your own, Harry.  I like sleeping in my own bed with both eyes shut.”_

_“Oh, come on! Although, with your lack of hair, I would assume Kate’s the hair pu-”_

_“I would zip my lips if I were you,” Kate sternly warned as she took her seat across from the pair once she was confident George had settled down enough to not cause any more harm to the guests._

_“Maybe it’s just a result of when Windsor met Caro.”_

_“Oh, good god.  Please, shut up.” Anna groaned, covering her embarrassment with both hands._

_“You’re just digging the hole deeper,” Will clicked his tongue, shaking his head at his younger brother.  “You don’t even need a shovel, you’ve got a bulldozer for a mouth doing the work for you.”_

_“You’re in big trouble when we get home.” Harry yelped when Anna pinched his arm, an amused infant catching Anna’s eye as she reached for him._

_“Would you like to sit with me, handsome boy? Your meanie uncle doesn’t deserve such beauty on his lap.”_

_“That’s not what you said last night,” he muttered, cheekily grinning when she rolled her eyes while Kate and Will shared a hefty laugh._

_“There’s no saving you, little brother.”_

_Anna giggled when George eagerly stretched his chubby arms out for her to grab him just before he leaped at her.  ”Oh, I know.. Sometimes I wanna leap far away from him, too.”_

_Harry’s scowl quickly transitioned to a dreamy smile, watching as Anna cooed and spoke to his nephew with such a motherly nature.  With a hand placed over his heart, his felt his chest expand when she lifted the infant over her head and made airplane noises, flying him around in the air.  He had never seen his baby nephew laugh so hard before where his cheeks turned beet red._

_God, he fell even more in love with her._

_His eyes landed on a knowing married couple, smiling brightly back at them before beaming at his love.  And that was the way Anna found him staring at her when she glanced over at him._

———

“Are you feeling okay, Annalisa?” A concerned voice interrupted her thoughts.

“Yes,” she lied, sniffling.  “Y-yes.. I’m fine.”

“Shall we continue? You’re looking quite pale, dear.  If you need to use the restroom, I can clean up here and wait a few minutes.”

“No, no, no.  Let’s just— yeah, let’s just do this.”

“As you wish,” she heard, the wet and coldness returning as a hard device applied pressure to her belly.

Instead of focusing on the screen that was turned for her to view, the only thing that was occupying her vision was the memory of Harry’s reaction 24 hours ago when she had told him the news.

A reaction she wished she could mirror.

———-

_Two words.  Thirteen letters.  Three syllables._

_One meaning._

_She was royally fucked._

_Literally._

_The words that had slipped so easily out of the doctor’s mouth resounded in her head over and over as she made the journey home, legs trembling the whole way.  She didn’t bother with the umbrella as the rain came down hard on her, soaking her to the bone, nor did she pay mind to her hair that clung to the side of her face as pedestrians gave her a peculiar look._

_She didn’t care._

_When she walked through the door, dripping from head to toe, Harry instantly leaped off the sofa and tossed the laptop to the side.  “Anna?! What the-”_

_“Hi,” she weakly greeted._

_“Baby, what on earth are you.. are you okay?!”_

_“No,” she whimpered, the tears that she had withheld for so long streaming down her pale and sickly face._

_“Christ.. Wh-what’s happened? Wait,” he said, jogging into the bathroom to grab a towel and the sleepwear she had pulled off that morning._

_When he returned just a few short seconds later, he began to peel the wet clothes that clung to her skin like a magnet. _“Here, let’s get you out of these clothes before you catch a cold.”__

_As soon as he got her down to her knickers, he dried her off as best as he could so he could get her into the warm and dry clothes and move on to towel off her sopping hair._

_Hugging her close to share his body warmth, he rubbed her arms up and down soothingly._

_“Wanna tell me what’s going on?” She shrugged in reply, her hands straight down at her sides.  “Are you just coming back from the clinic?”_

_“Y-yes,” she stuttered out, her teeth beginning to chatter from the bitter cold._

_“Fuck, you’re still freezing.  Let me get you a blanket.”_

_“N-no.”_

_Startled by Anna stepping back from his embrace, he studied her intently._

_“Anna..”_

_Panicked eyes met his and fear instantly tore through his insides.  He was recalling her briefly mention about having to get to an appointment at the clinic to renew her birth control last night while he attended a short meeting.  Certainly, given the time, she wasn’t lying about just returning from it since he had been home for just under twenty minutes before her shaken arrival.  If she was coming back from seeing a physician.. did that mean something was horribly wrong?_

_“Anna?” He asked, clearing his throat when it came out scratchy.  “Is everything alright?”_

_“No.. erm.. yes..”_

_“Are you sick?”_

_“No.”_

_“Did you get hurt?”_

_“No.”_

_“Did those fucking pap-”_

_“No, Harry.”_

_“Well, then.. what is it?”_

_Her hand subconsciously rested over her still flat stomach, Harry’s eyes catching the meaning behind the simple act._

_“Anna..” He breathed, nervously.  “Are you..“_

_She gulped and nodded slightly, fresh tears welling her eyes._

_“Pregnant.”_


	16. How It All Fell Apart (part 2)

Harry had been blissfully excited after the initial shock wore off.  A burst of happy laughter tore from his mouth and he swept her up and twirled her around.

_“Oh my god.  We’re having a baby!”_

But then she had crushed every ounce of joy he felt.

The device pressed more firmly against her abdomen as it glided easily across her skin.  It should have been uncomfortable.  But it wasn’t.  She should have been ecstatic like he had been.  But again, she wasn’t.  She wasn’t anything she was supposed to be.  And she hated herself for this.

Anna took a shallow breath and squeezed her eyes shut tightly, wishing she could forget Harry’s pained expression before he stormed out of her flat.

And possibly out of her life.

 _Their_ life.

——-

_“The whole world will come down on you and your family for your premarital sex tendencies!”_

_“Annalisa,” Harry howled with laughter.  “My enjoyment of premarital sex is no secret to the world, much less to my family.  Come on now, love.“_

_Anna scoffed.  ”How can you joke right now? This is not a joke, Harry.  Grow the fuck up.”_

_“Of course it’s not!” He argued, a hint of humor in his voice, avoiding the cruel words she had unnecessarily thrown at him.  He moved forward and cradled her face in his hands, tilting his head to one side to gaze down at her frantic eyes._

_“This is wonderful news, baby.”_

_She backed away, as if she had been burned by his touch.  ”How can you be happy about this?”_

_His brows furrowed together.  ”How can you_ not _be happy?” Taking a step towards her, he laid his hand over hers that was back on her stomach.  ”We created a life.. a baby.. Our love made this special blessing.”_

_“I can’t..” She moved away again, feeling the air in the room disappear from her lungs._

_“Okay, what the fuck is going on with you? I thought you said you were ready to-”_

_“To be together.. in a relationship.. Not to be a family!”_

_Hurt flashed in his eyes and she immediately regretted it, her hard golden orbs softening._

_“I’m sorry.. I didn’t me-”_

_“You_ are _my family.  Baby or no baby, wife or girlfriend.. Annalisa, you already_ are _my family.  My whole fucking_ world _!”_

_She was stunned silent.  Speechless.  She fought to find the words, stumbling in her own mind, but there were none._

_“I want kids.. I’ve longed for kids since I can remember,” he paused.  “Are you ever going to be ready to do that with me?“_

_“I-”_

_Nothing.  He waited several moments for her to continue, but all he got was nothing.  She gave him absolutely nothing._

_“Wow.. okay.” Harry nodded to himself in disbelief._

_“Harry..” She reached for him but he was the one to pull back this time.  “I’m not ready.“_

_He shrugged his shoulders then combed his fingers through his hair in frustration._

_“But I am.”_

_“Harry,” she began, inhaling a shaky breath.  She had to talk some sense into him, make him realize how this wasn’t good for them and everyone involved, including her own personal issues._

_“What?”_

_“I’ve just now come to terms with dealing with my own demons.. I’m still in fucking therapy, for gods sake! I am not ready for a baby.  Not to mention what kind of life this child would have.”_

_“Oh, bull.  He would have a loving mother and father.  And aunts and uncles and cousins who would adore him.  He’s already so filled with love and support.”_

_Anna’s wide eyes grew in size.  ”He?!” She dryly laughed._

_“Or she,” he smiled at the clear image of a dark haired girl with her daddy’s crystal blue eyes and her mum’s signature curls._

_“You’re out of your flippin mind and more naive than I thought.”_

_He felt like he had gotten slapped in the face. “What is that to bloody mean?” Her harsh words ignited the anger that he was trying to push down.  But now it was coming up to the surface in a rush.  ”Why are you being such an infuriating bitch right now?”_

_“I don’t want a baby, Harry! God..get that through your fucking thick skull!”_

_“Why the hell not?!”_

_If she could, she would laugh outright at how childish he sounded, almost stomping his foot like a kid who wasn’t getting his way.  An image of a little boy with fiery locks and amber colored eyes like her own flashed across her mind before she forced it to disappear._

_“I don’t want our child to grow up hearing the whispers in the palace halls or reading it in the papers that he or she is ‘the bastard child’! That’s not fucking fair!”_

_“Are you listening to yourself? You’ve never given it one single thought to anything about me being royal.  I have never been Prince Harry around you.  Not once, Annalisa! Why does this fucking matter to you now?!”_

_“BECAUSE IT’S REALITY, HARRY!” Anna exploded, startling both of them.  She took a few deep calming breaths before she spoke up again.  “It will resent us for this.“_

_“What are you saying then? You want to get rid of it? You don’t want to have my baby? Our baby.”_

_“Honestly, I don’t know what I want anymore,” she admitted, sadly._

_His heart broke into millions of pieces as the life he thought he would have with her all came crashing down._

_“Great.  Well, there you have it.  That’s fucking perfect.” He kept spouting out short sentences, venom dripping from his tone._

_“Harry.. I’m sorry.”_

_His dark and blazing eyes bore into her frightened ones._

_“Abort it then.  I’m done here.”_

——-

A lone tear slipped from the corner of her eye and rolled down onto the paper she was laying on, Harry’s broken voice as he spat his last words to her echoing in her head with the slam of the door as he left.

Stopping herself from running after him would be one of her biggest regrets.  Because he should be here with her for this moment, holding her hand and smiling reassuringly.  He should be here to see his baby.  _Their_ baby.

Anna fingered the infinity symbol on her ring, the pad of her fingertip looping the design, trying to find some kind of comfort.  Another tear leaked out her eye and she swallowed the lump that formed in her throat.

She wanted Harry.

“Hm..strange..”

Opening her eyes, she blinked to rid the blurriness and focused on the physician who was staring at the fuzzy screen with a perplexed expression.

“Is something wrong?” She croaked out, a slight tremble to her voice.

“I’m not sure, honestly.” She kept gliding the device around, trying to find some answers but the frown that formed only proved she came up empty handed.

“What?” Anna asked, confusedly.

“There’s nothing there,” the physician stated in a form of a question rather than a statement.  “See this right here? That’s your uterus and the baby should be around this area here.  But there’s nothing.“

Anna felt a stabbing pierce through her heart.

“I don’t think I’m understanding.  You mean, like..no baby?”

“No baby,” the older woman confirmed.

Another pain shot through her chest.  No baby.  She wasn’t pregnant.

“It happens sometimes where some women miscarry very early in the pregnancy without realizing they ever were carrying to begin with.”

 _Miscarry_?

The haunting word created fear and devastation to course through her entire being.

“Mi-miscarry? I… _miscarried_?”

“I’m not quite positive on that.  Did you notice any spotting or bleeding this morning?”

“No.”

“Any cramping?”

Anna shook her head, negatively, only to grow increasingly annoyed at the medical professionals frown deepen at that answer.

“Were you showing any signs of being pregnant? Nausea, mostly?”

“No.”

“Excessive tiredness?”

“I guess,” she answered then added after a beat.  “But I’m working longer hours than usual and I’m on the night shift so I don’t really know if it’s from that or..“

The woman nodded.  ”How about any bloating? Tender or sore breasts?”

She pondered it for a moment.  ”Not really, no.”

Anna rubbed her lips together as she kept her sole focus on her doctors facial expressions, witnessing it transform from confusion to a new realization.

“Anna, before coming into my office yesterday, I’m presuming you never had any idea of the possibility of you being pregnant enough to find out?” When Anna just stared at her, she clarified.  “You never took a test, am I correct?“

“I didn’t.”

A long beat followed as the doctor hummed in thought.  ”There’s a strong possibility that you were never pregnant.”

Never pregnant.

“Never pregnant? Wait, what?”

The doctor smiled sweetly, still uncertain of what to make out of a test coming out a false positive when it was the most accurate way to confirm any false positives from a home test.

“Seems that way, dear.”

“Wow,” she breathed, unsure of what else to say.

This is what she wanted originally.  She wasn’t ready to be a mother, not when she hadn’t completely dealt with her underlying issues about the future.   _Not pregnant_ were exactly the right words she longed to hear ever since she found out she was with child.

Then why wasn’t she happy?

“No baby,” she whispered to herself.

The doctor shut the monitor off and wiped the gel from Anna’s stomach.  ”Why don’t you get dressed? I’m going to check on a couple things and maybe run some more lab work.”

Anna didn’t respond, just nodded and stayed flat on her back.  When she heard the door click shut, she brought her shaky hands to cover her empty abdomen, rubbing it softly.  She was kind of… _disappointed_.

“No baby.”

Just minutes ago she thought there was life growing inside of her.  A life that was created out of unconditional love.  A life that she didn’t want.

At first.

“No baby.”

A sudden cry tore from her chapped lips and she quickly covered her face and cried into them, uncaring about whoever heard her as she wailed, grieving the loss of something she never even had.

She wanted Harry more than ever now.

———

_“Up! Up!” Anna heard from the living room, shrieks of giggles echoing throughout their home.  When she turned the stove down and wiped her hands on a dish towel, she waddled her way to see what all the commotion was about._

_Upon entering the room, Harry using their daughter as weights on his legs came into view, warming her heart.  ”Dada!” The little one giggled, holding onto his pant legs tight with her hands balled up into tiny fists._

_“Look, it’s mama!” Harry announced, grinning in Anna’s direction as he continued to lift the little rascal who was not going to let him stop anytime soon._

_“What’s going on in here?” Anna asked, winking at Harry._

_Bright blue eyes turned to her mum, excitement flashing in them.  ”Mama, dada up, up!”_

_“Oh wow, daddy’s strong, isn’t he, baby?”_

_“Yup!” she let out a hearty laugh.  “Up! Up!“_

_“I’m making up for not getting to the gym this week,” he explained with a chuckle.  His eyes fell on her swollen belly where she had begun to rub softly.  He lifted his eyes to her swollen breasts and wiggled his eyebrows, his attention going up to her face when she let out a boisterous laugh at how predictable he was.  
_

_They were beaming._

—

Anna woke with a start, dropping her gaze down to where her hand rested at her flat tummy, her dream fading to the corners of her mind.  She sighed through her dry mouth, her nose too stuffy to breathe after all the crying she had done before she drifted off to exhausted sleep.

Her eyes shifted to seek out the time, the moon shining through the window informing her she had slept through the afternoon.  But before she could see how long exactly it had been since her return, a shadowy figure turned to face her from the window, hands in pockets.

“Harry?” She squinted through the darkness to adjust her eyes, hearing the familiar clear of his throat.

“Yeah..hey.” He applied his full weight back onto his feet and started towards her.

“Hi,” she whispered, cautiously.

Harry sat at the edge of the bed as she sat up and pulled the covers to pool around her lap as a security blanket.

“I stopped by earlier but you weren’t around,” he said, eyes averted to the space above her head.

“I was at the clinic,” she explained, picking at the loose thread of the blanket.  “I ran out of there yesterday before we could go further.“

“Oh,” he paused.  “Is everything alright?“

She didn’t have the slightest clue as to how to tell him so she went with the rip the bandaid off technique.

“There’s no baby.”

Harry had to strain his ears to pick up on what she had whispered and once it registered in his brain, a sharp inhale bounced off the surrounding walls.

“You got a..” He couldn’t form the rest.

Anna’s eyes bulged and she shook her head violently.  ”No..Harry, I would never abort our baby.”

Harry nodded and let out the big puff of air he didn’t realize he had been holding, until confusion settled.  The same confusion she had experienced earlier.

“How do you mean?” He asked, his eyes finally meeting hers.

“There was never a baby.  They somehow mixed up my file with someone else and when they found my blood results, the test was negative.  They had me take another just to be sure and… No baby.”

“No baby,” he repeated just above a whisper.

They were silent for several long minutes, shallowly breathing as they stared at each other, willing the other to break the ice.  But both were too frightened of where that left them, still too shaken up by what had happened.

Anna chewed on her lip nervously and played with her ring, something she was finding herself doing quite often.  Harry’s gaze fell down to the movement and he let out a deep sigh.

“What are you thinking?” She broke the ice, although frightful of his reply.

“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully before lifting his blues back up to study her and asked her with genuine concern.  “Are you okay?“

“I’m sad,” her voice cracked on the last syllable, wiping the wetness that had formed underneath her eyes.

“Why sad?” Leaning forward, his thumb swept away the fallen tears that had escaped, Anna leaning into his touch.

“No baby,” she whispered.

Silence settled once again, this time Anna silently crying as Harry moved closer to wipe away every teardrop that freely fell.

“Hold me?” She weakly requested and Harry immediately began to move behind her as she laid back down on her side, forming a spooning position.

“Are we okay?”

Harry swallowed back a lie that wanted to slip out, not wanting to hurt her more than she already was.  He would give her his comfort and reassurance until morning.  But he couldn’t lie to her either only to crush her with the harsh reality morning would bring.

Instead, he pulled her closer and hugged her as tightly as he could before placing a lingering kiss on her head.

“We’ll talk in the morning.  Sleep now, love.”

And surprisingly, she did.


	17. How It All Fell Apart (part 3)

Anna woke up to the heavy rain and wind outside her window, the thunder rumbling somewhere in the far off distance.  The room was dark and gloomy, the weather ironically matching the storm brewing inside of her.  A vision of a permanent dark cloud being placed over her life deepened the glum mood further.

She stretched out like a cat as soon as she rolled onto her back, only to realize that Harry was no longer in bed like he had been every time she woke up during the night, comforted by his presence enough to fall back to sleep.

Her eyes landed on the missing Rolex he had taken off and placed on the side table to sleep more comfortably.  Panic settled into the pit of her stomach of the dreadful possibility that he had slipped out at one point during the night when she was dead asleep.

But the tension that hung in the air was still so thick and she instantly knew he was somewhere near.  She could sense him there.

She was still reeling from the past couple days, emotions still running high and even though she had slept so much than ever before, exhaustion paralyzed her.

And fear.

Later on when she looked back, she would be able to admit that she knew what the day held for her, it was the tightness in her belly and the heaviness in her chest that gave it away… It was the vivid memory of his hesitant eyes when she had asked him to comfort her that she stuffed down, ignoring what it meant.

But right now, as she lay in bed prolonging the inevitable, she was ignorant to all the signs that pointed to it, warning her of the devastation that would soon come.

A noise came from the other room, enough to encourage her to face him.

It was now or never.

Tossing the covers aside, she planted her feet and wiggled her toes against the cold wood.  When she stepped into the living room, she found Harry stacking up the books she had purchased on painting after their joint class with Maggie and Skippy.  He was tidying up her flat, something he did when he was trying to tame an overactive mind.

“Hey,” she said in a low tone.

Harry looked up and forced a smile, straightening up his shoulders into a standing position.  “Hey, morning.”

“What are you doing?” She cringed at the small talk she attempted, but Harry didn’t seem to mind as his eyes swept around the neat and organized space.

“Cleaning up a bit.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she said, softly.

“It’s alright.”

They stood there awkwardly, neither one of them knowing what to do next.  They were far from being strangers even though they were acting like so.

They knew just about everything about the other, including quirky habits and how to handle specific moods.  Harry knew that Anna liked to paint with acrylic paint the most and the bristles of a brush against a canvas was one of her favorite sounds.  He knew he could always find her in the music room when sleep wouldn’t come, having spent many nights sitting in a recliner as she strummed the tuned strings of a guitar mindlessly or watched her musical fingers effortlessly create the sweetest melody on the piano keys.

He knew her favorite songs, could list the top ten most played on her iPod, and when to give her a cuddle when scenes of certain films neared that always made her weep.

Secrets, hopes and dreams.  He knew it all.

But what did all that matter now when he felt like he was sharing the same oxygen with someone he didn’t think could crush his spirit like she had.

Harry had spent the majority of dawn tugging on his hair and pacing around, trying to make sense of the past two days.  For the first time when he looked into the imaginary crystal ball of his future, there was nothing but uncertainty.  There he stood, almost thirty years old, and he had reached another crossroad, being forced to decide between two directions.

Left or right.

“Would you like some—erm— coffee or tea?” She awkwardly asked.  Just as she was about to turn in the direction of the kitchen, Harry grabbed her by the wrist and tugged gently to pull her back.

“We should talk, Anna.”

The anxiety in her chest built up more and more by the second at the missing sparkles that usually shone brightly in his eyes when he looked at her.  Something was about to happen, she knew.  Something terrible that would kill her.

“Can we sit?” He asked as he gestured for her to take the seat on the sofa while he sat on the coffee table.

Harry stared at his hands that were wringing together out of nervous habit while hers were folded together as she waited.  He cleared his throat a couple times, trying to build up the strength he would need for this.

Tired ocean blue orbs met her worried golden ones before he whispered the only words he could come up with.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Anna said before he was able to finish.

“I-” A big sigh cut him short and he rubbed the crown of his head, agitated with himself.

Anna had a dreadful gut feeling she was about to lose, the conflicted expression on his face revealing so to be true.  Scrambling her mind for a way to stop it from all falling apart, to salvage their relationship, she reached across the space between them and grabbed hold of his hands.

“I know you’re upset, Harry,” she said, the fleeting thought of how vaguely familiar this scene was, only she was in the wrong this time around.  “You have every right to be.  I reacted horribly and I said some shit that I wish I hadn’t.“

Harry didn’t utter a word, he wouldn’t have even if he wanted to.  His gaze was permanently fixated on the warmth of her fingers threading through his, recalling a time where it made him smile how perfectly they entwined.

“Because you _are_ my family, too.  Of course you are.  My whole life is you and _us_.  My whole _heart_ is yours.  We _are_ a family.  I’m sorry, I truly am.  If I could go back an-“

Harry shook his head slightly, her words sinking in and making it all the harder as he prepared to turn left at the fork in the road.

“You were right,” he said, gravelly.  He felt her hands clutch his tighter.  “About it not being the best time for a baby.  You’re right about that, Anna.  But-“

“When the time is right, when we’re ready..it’ll be the most joyful news.  For both of us.”

“I need a break,” he blurted out, wincing at the surprise flash across her face before it contorted into a cringe and she dropped his hands quickly.

“Oh..”

He licked his lips.  “I’m not saying break up.  I’m saying a maybe temporary breather.”

“Oh,” she repeated, suddenly growing so cold, wrapping her arms around her middle.

“You hurt me…badly.”

“I-I’m sorry, Har-”

“I can’t just look past this one, Annalisa.” The crack in his voice was the same in her heart.  “I watched you act as if our baby growing inside of you _disgusted_ you.  Like it was the most obscene-“

“That’s not-”

”..thing to want to have a baby with me,” his voice rose over hers, almost angered.  ”You completely freaked out.  You _checked_ out and not once felt what I so desperately wanted you to feel…how incredibly happy _I_ was about going from one to two..to _three_.”

“Harry… I-”

He inhaled sharply.  ”And then you tell me you’re sad because there never was a baby? I don’t get it! I don’t get you.”

_I don’t get you._

A knife twisted in her gut, blinding her with the searing pain.  Through all of her coping and defense mechanisms, Harry had always showed nothing but empathy, sharing his understanding.  It had made her feel less damaged.

He softened, witnessing her walls start to come back up as she refused to look him straight in the eye.

“I care about you, you know that’s true.  I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.  Tell me you know that.”

“Yeah..I do…” She answered when he briefly waited for a response, head bowed.  “I know.“

“Good.  Remember that.” Sighing, he continued after a long beat.  “I’ve let you have your time and now it’s my turn.  I need some space.. To figure out where to go from here.  I need this for _me_.”

Harry paused, studying her before he asked.  ”I allowed you to do the same before, didn’t I?”

“Yes..” Anna weakly answered.

He nodded, rubbing his sweaty palms together.  ”Right.  Then I’m asking you to show me the same courtesy.  Can you do that for me, Anna?”

A minute went by before her answer was spoken.

“Okay.”

It came out sounding defeated, _broken_.  But it was all she had.

More words were being said, she was sure he was talking about the conclusion of this decision and what he needed…but she didn’t hear any of it.  She couldn’t.  It would break her more than she already was and she didn’t want him to witness it.

And up went another brick wall.

The only sign of life he got from her were the slight twitch of her lips and the occasionally blink of her dead eyes as he poured out the speech he had been prepping while she slept.  But as soon as he stood to take his leave, she knowingly looked directly at him and stood as well.

A shaky hand cradled her cheek as he gazed down at her, the pad of his thumb tenderly stroking her porcelain skin before he ducked down to lay a lingering kiss on her unmoving lips.

Anna screamed at herself to do something when he shuffled to the door, demanding her to stop him, to plead with him to stay.  To not leave her.  She already had many regrets of past times from not listening to that voice, she would be a fool to have this time be added to the growing list of should-haves.

“Wait!” She firmly called out, sprinting towards him once he turned back around with curious surprise written across his broody features.

“Wait,” she said again once she got to him, palming each side of his face to bring him down to her pleading kiss.

She poured everything she wanted to say aloud but couldn’t into the kiss, while his mouth repeatedly slanted over hers, savoring the sweet taste of her lips and tongue.  They kissed deeply, passionately, their eyes tightly shut to block the heartache out.

Harry tangled his fingers in her hair, pulling her closer to his tense body and angling her head to explore every crevice of her mouth, as if he would never get the chance to do so again.

_Stay with me._

_Don’t leave._

_Please._

Harry felt it coming from her even though she never once said it as they lost themselves for a few long moments.  He was grateful to the silent plead, knowing it would destroy him to hear it out loud.  Because for the first time since they met, Harry couldn’t give her what she wanted.

Her mouth tore from his in a loud gasp for air, lungs burning from the denied oxygen.  Anna gathered the courage to look at his telling eyes, praying to see a change of heart from her silent plea, from her big grand gesture of taking a step towards bettering herself and being committed to making them work.

But the sorrow Anna found instead caused her to jump back, allowing enough breathing room between them.

He was really doing this.  She was really losing it all.  Her heart.   _Him_.

She tried desperately to keep the tears that were pooling in her eyes at bay but failed miserably as the sobs overtook her, causing her to hunch over and hold her chest where her broken heart beat erratically.

“I’m sorry..”

His words resonated in her mind again and she felt her legs give out, dropping to her knees right there in front of him.

Harry stood there, his chest aching as he witnessed her fall apart, holding himself back from comforting her as he knew it would make him change his mind.  And he didn’t want that.  He tried to fill his lungs up with air but couldn’t.

He was suffocating.

“I’m sorry..  I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry.” She repeated over and over, her sobs increasing in volume when she heard the tormented cry escape from his lips just as he fell down to his own knees, joining her on the floor in a puddle of emotions.

“I don’t want to lose you,” she cried, slowly crawling over to his trembling form.  “I don’t want to lose you, Harry.“

Harry brought his hands to her face to capture the steady stream of both of their tears that were flowing freely together.  ”Baby..” He choked out.

“I don’t want to lose you.. I don’t want to lose you..” Anna repeated in desperation, clawing and tugging on the collars of his light coat.  “Please, don’t..I can’t…please..“

“Stop..baby, please stop..” His chest ached at her words, at the way she sobbed through them, the unbearable pain shaking them both.

It killed him to see her this way, to see them both so broken.  At one time, he thought they were fixable, that they were strong enough to overcome the obstacles that came their way and that love would be enough to push through both of their insecurities.  He had believed that true love always won.

But he wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

———

The best way to describe how she felt hours later was absolutely hollow.  They had clung together, desperately trying to avoid the inevitable of how final it would be when he walked out.

But sure enough, after the tears were all cried out until there was nothing left and they were both calm, Harry pressed his lips against hers one last time and said goodbye.

How Anna had the ability to stand and walk back into the bedroom, she didn’t know.  But she found herself scanning the room like she was seeing it all for the first time, through new eyes.

Everything was different.

Just as she was about to climb under the safety of her blankets, a green sack in the corner caught her attention.

Harry.

He must’ve forgotten it here, only using it to transport new things to her flat that he would need if he decided to not return home for a few days, finding refuge there a lot of the time.

Desperately craving to have his scent around her, she walked towards it in a zombie like state and scooped it up by the strap.  Once she had returned to the bed, she slowly sat and set the sack on her lap and inhaled deeply when it fell open, his musky scent surrounding her like a blanket, warming her instantly.

She went in search of a recently worn shirt, longing to feel the material against her skin.  When her hand hit something solid, curiosity got the best of her.  Pulling out the hard cover of what appeared to be a portfolio of some sorts, she moved the bag to the side and carefully flipped the book open.

A gasp slipped through her dry lips and her heart galloped strongly in her chest.

His sketchbook.

Anna had seen him countless times burying his nose deep in his sketches, working furiously after a hard day where he needed to feel some kind of control.  She loved to lay back on the sofa, her feet on his lap and watch him as he drew whatever inspired him, her legs propping up a different sketchbook than this one.

He had always looked so at peace when he drew, his lips pressed together in concentration and the tip of his tongue poking out every few minutes when he worked on shading.  It was the most adorable habit of his.

Harry’s toothy grin flashed in her mind when he would proudly reveal his ‘masterpiece’, as he would call it.  His grin only grew wider at her jaw dropping open at the amazing talent he had for art.

The first sketch before her now caused the same reaction.

It was of her.   _She_ inspired him.

Her fingers traced how well he captured her essence and it surely proved how he had every freckle and shape of her features memorized.  He perfected the way the wind blew the loose strands of her hair as she stared off into the distance and how she always parted her lips subconsciously when she saw something that piqued her interest.

He drew her the way he saw her through his own eyes.  And she looked… _beautiful_.

“Oh, baby..” Anna choked when she noticed the date that was scribbled in the far corner.

_10 December ‘13_

Her phone buzzed, tearing her attention away.  A strong surge of hope that it was him calling to check up on her sparked her to life and she dove to the nightstand and swept up the mobile.

“Harry?!”

Nothing could prepare her for the torn up sound of Danny’s trembling voice.

“Annalisa..”

And just when she thought things couldn’t possibly get worse, it did.

“You need to come home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)


	18. How Her World Stopped Turning

_“Daddy, I’m scared..”_

_“What are you scared of?”_

_“Falling.” Her small voice trembled, knuckles turning white from gripping the handle bars too tightly._

_She had been brave all morning, excited even when he announced today was the day she would remove her training wheels and ride around the neighborhood.  Her brother had already been without the supportive wheels for two weeks now but she had asked her dad for more time, until she was ready to be a big girl.  Marco had eagerly obliged, wanting nothing more than to hold onto his little girl for as long as he could._

_He shook his head after a burst of laughter, squinting through the beaming rays of the sun, looking at his little curly haired girl with such adoration.  He crouched down to her eye level._

_“Annalisa, it’s okay to fall sometimes.. It happens to even the biggest-”_

_“Like you?”_

_He chuckled.  ”Like me.  When I was your age, grandpa took my training wheels off too and I scraped my knee pretty badly.”_

_“How bad?!” She asked, more scared than before._

_“Nothing a band aid couldn’t fix.”_

_Surprise flashed across her delicate face at that._

_“Really?!”_

_“Mhm..but I got up and got back on the bike after Nana came out with the bandage.  And you know what?”_

_Anna’s eyes widened, engrossed in one of her daddy’s stories of when he was just a boy – something she couldn’t fathom, him being little like her at one point in time._

_“When I got back on the bike and I pedaled my hardest, determined to do it on my own, I never felt more proud of myself.”_

_She thought it over, her once frightful eyes turning into one of wonder.  If her daddy said there was no need to be afraid, then she wouldn’t.  He was the most brave man she knew, and she had to show him she could be just as fearless._

_“Okay..” Anna said.  “I think I wanna try now..“ She paused.  “Are you gonna help me if I fall?”_

_He smiled lovingly at her, his heart swelling with the innocence that looked back at him, trusting him to give her all the right answers.  If nothing else, his kids made him want to wake up every morning and face the day with bravery.  They were his greatest accomplishment, what he lived for._

_“Of course, baby girl..what does mommy always sing?”_

_Anna’s broad and animated smile was infectious just before she belted out in such a strong voice that seemed too big for her tiny frame._

_“No wind!”_

_“No wind..”_

_“No rain!”_

_“No rain..”_

_“Nor winters cold can stop me, babe!”_

_Marco snickered, joy filling his heart. “You sing better than mommy does..” He said, ruffling her curls when she giggled.  ”Don’t tell her I said that.”_

_“Or you’ll be in the doghouse with Leo?”_

_“Yup, you’ve got that right.  Are you ready, my beautiful girl?”_

_“Ummmm….”_

_“If you never try, you’ll never know the fun that’s waiting for you.”_

_Anna released a breath and got back into the position, Marco straightening up off his knees to hold the front and back of the pink bike to assist her._

_“Wait!” She exclaimed, one foot paused in midair before resting on the pedal.  “Can I get a tweety bird bandaid for my scrape?“_

_“Absolutely.”_

_“And a hot fudge sundae?”_

_He let out a hearty laugh and nodded.  ”With sprinkles.”_

_“Promise?”_

_“I promise.”_

——-

The strong whooshing sounds of the oxygen tank beside her roused her from the heartfelt memory, the faint cheerful hollers of the past shaking her.  Before she could form another sweet memory, a shift in the bed caught her attention.  Her dad’s once lively green eyes stared back at her, tired and wary.  Anna gave him a small smile in greeting to which he returned, happily surprised to see her in spite of the circumstance.  He gripped her hand that had been holding his since she arrived four hours ago tighter in his grasp, not uttering a single word.

There was so much to say, a word that she never dreamed of having to say one day to her father as he laid in a railed bed in her grandparents’ home: goodbye.  But how did one express all the gratitude of the past, how did one go about doing such a devastating thing when it was too real…too soon.

She wasn’t sure she had what it took to do this.  Not with her daddy.

“ _I’ve got sunshine…on a cloudy day._.” Tears instantly pooled in her sad eyes, but her smile grew wide as he used all the strength he had to whisper a song she grew up dancing with him to at any opportunity.

Their song.

“ _When it’s cold outside.. I’ve got the month of May_..” She whispered back in a singsong nature.  ” _I guess you’d say what can make me feel this way_..”

Marco squeezed her hand tightly, swallowing back the emotion that threatened to spill over his sunk in gray cheeks.  ” _My girl..my girl..my girl_..”

Anna brought his still bruised hand up and kissed it, regret momentarily punching her in the gut for not being here sooner – for pushing him away for so long.

“Daddy..” She choked out, losing the battle to keep herself in check in front of him.  It was the one thing she had been told by her family, to keep strong while in the room so he wouldn’t slip into a panic attack, his body too weak to sustain one.  And she had prepared herself for what she was going to see before she walked into the room, but even in her mind, he didn’t look this weak…this faded.

“Baby girl… You’re home..”

“I came as soon as I could,” she sniffled, shaking her head as if it would stop the wetness from falling from her eyes.  Reaching forward with her free hand, Anna smoothed the flecks of gray that made up his thinning hair back and flashed a special smile reserved just for her daddy.

Her hero.

“You look good,” she weakly joked.

Marco’s eyes slid shut as he let out small bursts of chuckles, licking his dry lips.  ”I feel great..” He said, creating the tiniest laugh from his daughter.  ”How much do you know?”

Any other daughter who had medical experience would have jumped at the chance to check his medical records, to formulate an expert opinion of his case and where his diagnosis stood.  They would have demanded to speak to his oncologist and request a second opinion, all in the shape of denial.  But Anna couldn’t, handling her own denial differently.

So she relied on the information her family had provided her with.

Untreated stomach ulcer turned cancerous.  Tumors spreading to the bones and spine.  Stage four.  Incurable.

All of the fancy medical terms she spent years studying and becoming familiar with firsthand evaporated from her memory, her mind turning to mush.  She couldn’t save him.  Fancy terms, knowledge of the disease, _none_ of that mattered if she couldn’t do a damn thing with it.

“They told you everything, didn’t they?”

“Yeah,” she confirmed.  “I wish I would have known sooner.“

As soon as she muttered the words, she instantly regretted it, hating herself for causing the troubled expression on his face.

“I know..I’m sorry for that.  Your mom and brothers kept telling me it was best to tell you but..I didn’t want you to see me this way.  I didn’t want you to watch me…” He trailed off, unable to finish.

“I should have come home more often..spent more time with you and everyone..I shouldn’t have pushed you away in anger when-”

“That’s in the past now.” Marco shook his head, tormented.  “And I’m sorry I wasn’t more supportive of you and your relationship..“

Something in her body language shifted, Anna beginning to fidget; awkward and nervous being the best way to describe it.

“I love you,” Anna said in an attempt to push him out of her mind.

“I love you, too, baby girl,” he said back before asking.  “What’s happened with the boy?“

 _The boy_.

It was exactly what she needed to hear from him, a glimpse of the father she always remembered him being.  Old fashioned.

“It’s not important right now.”

Marco frowned.  ”Of course it’s important.  Sure, this is more of your mother’s thing-“

“Talking about boys without the threaten of a shotgun?” Anna interrupted, offering light humor.

Marco tried to laugh, struggling against the medication that kept him from doing too much to prevent strain in his sick state.

“Depends on if he’s hurt you.” He said, settling on a half smile instead.

“No,” Anna replied with a sigh.

Marco nodded in understanding, fully aware of his daughter’s tendency of letting doubts dictate her life.  It created a sense of fear deep in his chest.  Fear that she wouldn’t be okay without him, fear that whatever was going on with her life back in London, him leaving would only make her lose herself further.

He couldn’t let that happen.  He couldn’t let go with her being alone and unhappy.

“Annalisa..” The sound of his firm voice made Anna squirm, feeling like a child about to be reprimanded.

“Dad, plea-”

“You’re no longer a little girl.. You’re a woman now.  A hardworking one.  A Caro.”

“Dad..”

“Caros are tough..independent.”

“Stubborn.”

“Infuriating so.”

She smirked.  ”If only mom could hear you admit that.”

He didn’t return the smile, only looked at her, sadly.

“I’ve had to admit quite a bit lately.” Anna sat there silently, feeling foolish.  “Being in this position..it’s opened my eyes to many things.  Your happiness one of them.“

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve selfishly let you allow your own fear hold you back from things..from love.”

“You haven’t.”

“I have,” he insisted.  “You’ve always been my baby girl and I didn’t want you to grow up.. I wanted you to stay little forever.“

Tears welled in both their eyes.

“But it’s time I let you go, baby girl.”

“I don’t want you to, daddy,” she cried, leaping from the chair and hugging him as tight as she could without crushing him, sobs wracking her body.  “I don’t want you to let go.”

“I have to,” he openly wept.  “I want you to live on for me.  I want you to love with your whole heart unguarded.  I wish for you to be happy, Annalisa.  I need to know that you will go on and live and be happy and not let fear or doubt get in the way of everything you deserve…”

She didn’t respond, only cried with him as he stroked her hair for the last time.

——

The next week went by in a blur, days blending, time moving at the speed of light.  The whole Caro family couldn’t tell what day of the week it was, as little moments came and went..

Moments that Anna would spend the rest of her life remembering when she would look back..

——-

“Hi, sweetie,” Lucille said, walking straight to his bedside.  “You’re awake.“ Anna mutely watched her mother place a loving kiss on his head, her heart aching at what was to come for her… and for them.

“Finn?” He questioned, growing more and more tired as the medication coursed through his veins, easing the pain.

“He’s on his way home, too.  Daniel was able to get a hold of him and he said he should be here on Monday.”

Anna’s heart broke as she witnessed her father’s sickly face contort in confusion.  ”When?”

She had witnessed this type of confusion numerous times before with her own patients, usually when the end was nearing.  It made her want to wail, kick and scream at the top of her lungs like a child.

Why was this happening? Why her daddy? Why them? Why now?

She had too many questions that would never be answered.  And that only angered her further.

———-

“Please, don’t tell him…” Anna begged.  “He has enough going on and he needs space right now.  I don’t want him to feel obligated and forget why he’s angry.  I want to respect his wishes.“

“Anna-”

“Please, Maggie..”

“Okay,” Maggie agreed in a quiet tone, heartbroken for her friend, wishing there was something – _anything_ – that she could do to ease her pain.  ”I promise I won’t tell him.”

Anna opened her mouth but closed it after a second, the question getting stuck in her throat.

“He’s okay,” Maggie said, sensing Anna’s concern.  “Sad but he’s doing alright.  Burying himself in work..“

Anna inhaled sharply, crippled with the thought of him still hurting.  She so desperately wanted to call him, a war between her head and heart as she weighed her mobile in her hands several times a day.  She had come close countless times before.. but her head always won out.

“Have you seen him?”

“Only once,” Maggie answered, vaguely.

“What?” Anna fished for more, knowing her friend was holding back so it wouldn’t upset her.  But she needed to know.

“Nothing,” she lied.

“Maggie.”

“He showed up pissed drunk at Skip’s the other night, ranting about not being enough to..”

“To what?” Anna whispered when Maggie trailed off.

“To ever make you happy.”

Anna’s chest expanded before it deflated in a rush, a vision of a broken man tearing up her heart.

“Oh, Henry..”

“Anna,” Finn interrupted.  “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were on the phone..“

“It’s okay,” she recovered quickly, taking note of his stiff stance.  “What’s up?“

He didn’t have to say anything, the look of devastation and shattering pain answering her. “He’s asking for all of us.”

She numbly nodded, breathing unevenly before turning back to the phone.  ”I have to go.. Thank you for listening and being a great friend.”

“Hey, any time.  No matter the time difference, darling. You call me if you need me, got it?”

“Got it.”

——-

The soft melody mixed with the constant distinct sound of the machines drifted through the tiny crack of the door.  Anna peeked through, instantly regretting it as she witnessed her Nana at her father’s bedside, softly threading her fingers through his hair in a mother’s loving touch.  She sang to her boy, a melancholy tune that stole the air in Anna’s lungs.

“ _Godspeed, little man.. Sweet dreams, little man.. Oh, my love will fly to you each night on angel’s wings_..”

She wasn’t ready for this.  Not yet.

Finn placed a reassuring hand on her back, pushing her to enter the room and join the rest of the family at the bed, no matter how much she didn’t want to, praying it would stop the inevitable.

“Give our little boy a hug and kiss from me,” Lucille tearfully whispered against Marco’s clammy forehead.

“From us, too,” Luke said with his hand on his father’s covered foot.  “We love you..“

They could see the struggle in his eyes, fighting to hold on, not wanting to leave his family just yet.  They all wanted more time, he wanted more time.  Why couldn’t there be more time?

His glossy stare fixated on his baby girl as she smiled sadly at him, concealing the pain that was suffocating her, wanting him to see her brave.. the way he taught her to be.

A low grumble sounded from him, looks being passed around as they tried to dictate what he was trying to say.  ”What is it, baby?” Lucille asked, lowering her ear to his mouth as he mumbled again.

“What’s he saying?” Anna asked, leaning closer to the bed, her hand resting gently on his arm that was already turning cold.

“La tua vita?” Lucille guessed, her husband confirming the accuracy with a blink and intent stare at his daughter.  “He’s saying la tua vita.“

_Your life._

She thought back to the long moment they shared just days prior when she arrived back home and it hit her.  He couldn’t let go because of her.

“Daddy..” She breathed, her heart wrenching.  “I promise,“ she whispered, blowing him a soft kiss.  “I promise.”

“She’s going to be okay, sweetie.  We’re all going to be okay,” Lucille comforted.  He nodded slightly as his eyes began to slowly flutter.

“You can let go, son…let go of the pain and go in peace..go be with your papa and Benjamin..” Rosemary encouraged as she motherly smoothed her baby boy’s hair back.

_Eight minutes._

It was eight short minutes before their world stopped.

It was nothing for the world to see – to know – what went on during those last minutes they spent in that room, hands clasped together around his bed as they witnessed him let go of the fight.

Time stood still, frozen as an eery hush came over the room, the only sound coming from the breathing machines that no longer held any purpose.

Anna had been on the outside looking in during these situations several times before, had seen the same expressions that her family currently held as they waited for the dreaded confirmation from the hospice nurse before everything would just _end_.

But silently watching the nurse’s eyes cast down, firmly holding her father’s wrist to check his pulse, everything seemed unfamiliar to her.  She caught the unmistakable twitch of the woman’s facial muscles, she caught the slight flare of her nostrils as she took a small breath of air in preparation.  Her body stiffened.  It was all signs that pointed to what she didn’t want to believe.

And as the woman lifted her head, sympathetic eyes darting from each grief stricken individual in the room, Anna felt her stomach drop, knowing what was coming.

This was it.

“I’m so sorry,” the nurse uttered softly in condolence.

And they all fell apart.


	19. A Wild Winter's Day

The distinguished howls of the wind outside the city warned Anna that the impending Nor’easter that had been on the forecast for the past few days was in full swing—and had been for hours.  She stood at the window of her parents bedroom staring out while her mother slept after the grueling day, exhausted from the fast pace of the entire week that followed her father’s passing.

_One week.  Seven days.  One hundred and sixty-eight hours._

And the hurt only became more damaging… more _real_ with each new day.

Anna spent each sleepless night cuddled with her mom like a scared and lost child.  She wished for just a moment she could revert back to being the five year old girl with bouncing curls and a teddy bear cradled in one arm, rushing in between mommy and daddy after a frightful dream.  Because that’s what this was, wasn’t it? A horrid nightmare that would shake her awake to find everything was still normal.

But it wasn’t a dream.  It was very, _very_ real.

Each night as she lay awake in her mother’s tight embrace, the anger bubbled inside of her chest as she listened to the faithful prayers being whispered against her hair.  It was bewildering how a young widow could lie in the bed she once shared with her husband, a husband that was ripped away so suddenly, and _pray_.

Anna wished she could believe in the religious act as she once did many moons ago.  She wished she had the strength like her mother to keep hope and faith alive while everything seemed to.. _die_.  She wished she was strong enough to turn to the comfort of heaven above like she was taught.  God, she really wished she could pray.

But she knew even if she _could_ , it would be proven to be futile.  It wouldn’t matter, because she would pray for the impossible.

To bring her daddy back.  To make all of this pain and grief go away.  To go back to normal.  Even for a day.  Even for a sunrise and a sunset more.  She would settle for _any_ amount of time at this point.

She just needed to hear him call her baby girl one more time.  She needed to hear his laugh, to see his smile, to hear his stern and stubborn voice.  Just once.. just one more time and then maybe, just maybe, she would be able to go on.

Nighttime had fallen about two hours ago and the snow was coming down hard, already accumulating a good foot on the ground, the branches snapping with the heavy weight of the snow.  It reminded her of herself, feeling like a fragile branch that was being weighed down with loss.  Loss of a hero—her father.  Loss of her best friend—her brother.  And loss of her heart—Harry.  How much more weight could she stand before she would snap like the branches? She didn’t know.

With a hand placed on the cold glass, she sighed soundly, trying to get some air to her lungs.  It was a nightly occurrence as of late.  Once Lucille was fast asleep, Anna would carefully climb out of the bed and trudge to the window, overlooking the rural side of Boston they resided in.

The days following her father’s passing were surreal to say the least.  There were arrangements to be made, the continuous flight schedules to keep track of from family members that were making their journey to Boston to grieve with them.  There were the gut wrenching phone calls to make, music to choose for the service, flowers to pick.  The casket, the suit he would wear, his burial.  So many things to do with such little time as they tried to beat a fast approaching storm.  Everything felt so rushed, so chaotic that it left no time to breathe, no time to think, no time to grieve.

Until the dead of night.

And that’s what Anna did.  She thought, she felt, she _grieved_ while everything was finally.. still.

——-

_Annalisa slowly crept inside the darkened room, blinking her sore eyes to adjust enough to make out the silhouette that was laying still on the bed.  It was late, but the noise drifting from downstairs would make one think otherwise._

_“Mom?” It came out so childlike—foreign to her own ears—but it made Lucille smile the tiniest of smiles._

_“Yeah, baby?”_

_Anna had expected the thickness of tears in her mother’s usual soft and gentle voice, but hearing it still hit her smack dab in the gut, momentarily halting her calculated steps towards the side of the bed._

_“Auntie Michelle and Uncle Harvey just got in.”_

_“Okay.”_

_When Lucille made no notion to untangle from the safety of the covers and greet more family downstairs, Anna shuffled to her.  The bed dipped with the added weight and she smiled when her mom pulled the covers back, inviting her to join her in the only quiet space of the house._

_Several members of the family had begun to arrive just a couple hours ago, all getting in from various parts of the country to grieve with them; to help with the dreaded arrangements that had to be made quickly.  Aunts, uncles, and cousins that she hadn’t seen in years were all there, greeting her with sympathetic eyes and smiles.  And hugging her.  They were always fucking hugging her.  And she hated it._

_“The house feels so empty already.”_

_“I know,” Anna murmured, swallowing the ever present lump in her throat that wouldn’t go away._

_Her heart ached for her mother.  A sweet woman who she aspired to be.  Kind, generous, loving, and supportive.  She didn’t deserve this.  She didn’t deserve the pain of having to bury a child, having to lose her husband so quickly… so young.  She didn’t deserve any of this and that crippled Anna._

_Lucille sniffled, comfortingly squeezing her daughter with her chin resting on the top of her head.  ”It’s only been hours and I miss him as if I haven’t seen him in ages.  What’s it going to be like when more time has passed?”_

_Anna lay there in silence, completely unprepared for all of this.  She couldn’t say anything.  There were no words to make it better.  There were no words that would take away all of the grief that consumed them._

_“I’ve decided to take a leave of absence,” she announced after a long pause.  “I spoke to the head of the nursing department and she’s faxing over some paperwork to finalize it.“_

_“Annalisa-”_

_“I worry about you and-”_

_“Oh, my darling girl,” Lucille interrupted, shifting so she could gaze at her compassionate daughter’s face, noting the way her golden eyes crinkled with concern like Marco’s would as thoughts swirled around his mind.  She smiled at the memory, witnessing the life that Marco had left behind; the life they created.  “You don’t have to do that…”_

_“I know but.. I don’t know, mom.  I just need to be here for awhile… Please don’t fight me on this, okay?”_

_It was a decision that came easy for her, something she knew she had to do not only for herself but for her family as well.  She had been gone too long—missed too much.  And now the undeniable regret slowly ate at her for years of neglecting them._

_Lucille stared at her with soft eyes and began to stroke her hair, just like she had always done when Anna was a little girl to calm her enough to prevent a tantrum._

_“Okay.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_Call it mother instincts or whatever you will, but Lucille knew something was very wrong with her daughter and her life back in London ever since she had stepped off the plane a couple weeks ago._

_She had known her all her life, watched her grow into the woman she was now.  She knew Annalisa didn’t talk much about her fears and doubts, always concealing them until they made their ugly appearance—until it caused too much damage to easily fix._

_But after everything that had happened, she was fearful of watching her sweet girl get lost once again like she had several years ago.  And so she did the only thing she could do._

_Meddle._

_“What about Harry?”_

_Harry._

_Anna tried to ignore the longing she felt at his name, along with the excruciating sharpness of a knife twisting in her heart._

_“What about him?” She said, acting nonchalant._

_“You want to tell me why you have been avoiding him?”_

_“I’m not,” she lied._

_“Is that why you stare at a powered off phone throughout the day?” Lucille asked with an eyebrow raised.  “Oh Annalisa, you have always been a poor liar.”_

_Anna didn’t respond, just pressed her lips together, willing the suffocating pain to go away.  She needed it to go away.  Her daddy had just passed, she had to focus on her family._

_“You know,” Lucille continued, wistfully.  “There was a time where we would hide away from the herd of boys in the house to talk about boyfriends.“_

_“The imaginary ones?” Anna joked lightly._

_“No, silly girl,” Lucille winked, half heartedly.  “The ones plastered on your bedrooms walls.”  A soft puff of air blew from their noses as they snickered.  ”Harry is well known all over the world so if you take that into consideration, I think he fits into your type.  A total heartthrob.”_

_“Mom,” Anna groaned before chuckling at her mom’s gentle smile._

_“Justin Timberlake to Prince Harry… Not bad.”_

_“Oh god..please stop.”_

_Their shared laugh was short lived as the pang of guilt settled deep in Anna’s lower belly.  Lucille caught the shift in her expression and cradled the side of her face, frowning at her once full cheeks were now losing their fullness from the lack of an appetite._

_“What’s wrong, Annalisa?”_

_Anna sighed heavily, the stabbing pain she tried to bury of her and Harry’s fall out rushing back to the surface, demanding to be felt._

_“I don’t think I’m ready to talk about him right now,” she answered quietly, so quietly that Lucille almost missed it._

_Lucille’s frown only deepened but instead of voicing her concern further, she simply nodded, allowing her daughter the time she needed to process whatever was going on in her mind until she was ready._

_And decided to go about the meddling a different way._

_“Your daddy and me,” she paused to take a breath, Anna’s features trembling with emotion.  “All we want for you kids is to be happy.  You know that, right?“_

_“I know,” Anna responded, recalling one of her father’s last wishes for her to live and be happy.  She thought of her mother, how she wanted the same for her, knowing without her father around, her mom would probably never be truly happy again._

_“All we want is for you to be okay, mommy.”_

_Lucille’s brown eyes welled up with fresh tears, her heart swelling from the unconditional love she had for her babies.  She made it a mission to keep herself together for their sake.  They were all going to be okay, she would make sure of it._

_———_

_Anna had thought the funeral would be difficult, that getting through it without a panic attack wouldn’t be feasible.  But throughout the service, she remained in a fog and numb to anything that would stir up the devastation that was always there, buried deep in her chest._

_Just like at Benjamin’s, the bagpipes played a melancholy and haunting rendition of Amazing Grace.  Marine uniforms, her brother Finn included, filled up the pews at the church, honoring a fellow brother who had done so much for the Marine Corps over the course of the years._

_Anna tried to grasp the pride that wanted to fill her chest at all the love that radiated from the people who attended; the same people that were offering up sincere condolences and sharing fond memories of how her father made a difference in their lives.  She wanted the memory of her father to spark some feeling—any feeling—within her instead of this emptiness in her chest and the cloudiness in her head._

_The service had lasted an hour, two hours, hell maybe even five hours, she didn’t have the slightest clue.  She was just going through the motions, following the lead of others with eyes fixated on the closed casket where her lifeless father lay to rest._

_That’s all she could do._

_After the service, only close family and friends followed the procession of the black cars, making their way to the burial grounds where they would stand around the copper casket and say a final prayer, a final farewell._

_Before it was lowered to the ground, everyone took steps back and allowed the immediate family to have one last moment.  Anna stood there in a daze, Finn and Luke at either side of her with their hands on her shoulders.  She glanced up and saw Daniel doing the same with her nana and mom and the tormented look on their faces almost did her in._

_This was it._

_Her mom was the first to place her hand on the casket, followed by her nana and brothers.  She was the last to do so, wanting to prolong it as much as she could.  Because the sooner she copied them, the sooner she placed her hand on the hard surface of the coffin, the sooner they would all have to walk away from him and go back to an empty home._

_She didn’t want to go back to the house where photographs were out on display, taunting her with how happy they once were.  His clothes would be there, his boots still by the door, his coffee mug at the kitchen counter.  The morning paper folded at the doorstep._

_Everything would still all be there.  Everything but him._

_A slight pressure was felt at her shoulder and she inhaled sharply at the encouragement to join them.  Hesitantly, she placed her shaky hand next to theirs and whispered a very soft and final ‘goodbye daddy’._

_——-_

_Raising five Caro children for over thirty years now, Lucille was no stranger to the most blunt confessions that came at the most random times.  She couldn’t count how many times she heard “I stole a cookie before supper” or “I gave Leo my vegetables” when they were still so innocent.  Or the numerous times they said “I failed my test” or “I have detention” during their rebellion teenaged years.  And as they grew into adults, the declarations held much more meaning, more life altering._

_“I’m being shipped to war.”_

_“I’m getting married.”_

_“I’m gay.”_

_“I’m moving to London.”_

_So when Lucille was sitting at the kitchen table later that evening, nursing a steaming cup of tea and flipping through a scrapbook Marco had (secretly paid) Gabe and Kathie to craft for Mother’s Day one year, she wasn’t at all flabbergasted by Annalisa shuffling in the doorway and blurting out words that she didn’t expect to hear._

_“I thought I was pregnant.”_

_The cup that was about to touch her lips paused for a moment as she took in the appearance of her daughter’s slouched posture and the dark circles under her eyes.  Her lips turned up into a small smile at Anna’s wide expression, her hair tangled in knots after a restless nap on the couch.  The house was finally silent again, family leaving shortly after the services, and it felt nice to be with just her kids and grandkids again._

_“Mom,” Anna said in a threatening voice.  “Are you laughing at me?”_

_“That’s absurd, darling.  Would you like some tea?”_

_“Tea?! Mom, I just told you-”_

_“That you thought you were pregnant, yes.  We can discuss it over a nice hot cup of tea.”_

_Anna sighed, defeated.  She should have known her mother would react this way, as if it wasn’t a big deal.  She always handled blows her and her siblings threw her way with such grace and great patience._

_“Fine, tea sounds nice.”_

_Lucille chuckled when Anna plopped on the chair, resting her head on her folded arms.  It brought her back to the time when Annalisa had driven over in the middle of the night to discuss the pros and cons of accepting her current position in London, seeking her mother’s advice at an ungodly hour.  This was one of the best things about being a mom, being there when they needed her the most, seeking her advice._

_Sitting back at the table, Lucille watched Anna take the first cautious sip before she began._

_“Now tell me what happened.”_

_Anna inhaled and held the breath for a long second before releasing it, not sure where to start.  The truth was, she was ashamed for her behavior.. for hating a child—her child.  For cutting Harry deeply when he had been so happy, so in love with the idea of them having a family.  She was ashamed for being scared, for getting lost in her own selfish ways._

_“Annalisa..” Lucille softly said, concerned with Anna’s silence as her eyes became more and more frantic.  She could see the wheels turning, could see the storm brewing, and she had to bring her beautiful daughter back from the dark hole she had spent years crawling out of._

_“Honey,” she said, taking Anna’s trembling hands in her own.  “Look at me.“_

_Anna’s eyes flitted to her mother’s understanding expression and she immediately felt a wave of calm wash over her._

_“There’s my girl.”  She grasped her hands tightly.  “You thought you were pregnant?“_

_Anna nodded, mutely._

_“Did you take a home test?”_

_“No,” she croaked with a shake of her head.  “The lab switched the results.“_

_“Okay.. Did Harry react badly?”_

_“No..” Harry’s broad grin flashed to mind, causing her chest to burn.  “He.. God, mom.. He was so happy.  So amazingly happy and I..“_

_She stopped, eyes stinging with withheld tears._

_“It’s okay, baby..”_

_Anna let out a dry laugh.  ”It’s not okay.  It’s really not okay.  I.. I hurt him.. I hurt him so bad that he.. He left.”_

_Lucille’s heart ached as her daughter began to cry, her own face crumbling at her baby’s heartbreak._

_“I made him leave.. It’s my fault that he’s gone.. I did this..”_

_Lucille stood suddenly and rushed over to the opposite side of the table to take her in her arms, ignoring the way Anna’s body stiffened at the contact.  She rubbed her back soothingly, letting Anna sob on her shoulder.  Her cries were killing her, crushing her.  She never wanted to see any of her kids suffer._

_It took a few long minutes before her tears subsided, but she didn’t care.  Lucille would have stayed in the kitchen all night if that’s what Anna needed._

_“Why don’t you call him? Tell him you’re sorry and that you love him.”_

_“I can’t do that.”_

_“Why not? Annalisa, that boy adores you.”_

_“I’m scared.” She sounded so exhausted, depleted after the flood of tears.  “What if..“ She stopped short._

_Lucille smiled sadly and tucked a loose curl behind Anna’s ear.  ”I don’t regret falling in love with daddy.  Not one bit.”_

_Anna stared at her and Lucille knew, she automatically knew, this is what Anna had come in the kitchen for—advice from a young widow._

_“If I had known before we got married, before we had children, that our time together would be cut this short, I wouldn’t think twice.  I would always choose daddy..and building a home together.”_

_She paused, taking a breath._

_“He was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.  Because without him, I would’ve never known how good it feels to always have someone at your side, supporting you and offering up laughs during the toughest times.  I wouldn’t have a home, full of love and joy.”_

_She stroked the side of her daughter’s face, her smile growing wide._

_“I would’ve never had you..and your brothers… And Sarah and Benny.  Your nana, Gabriel, Kathie.. Our family.”_

_Anna felt the weight being lifted from her chest, finding a new perspective as her mother continued to say the words she didn’t know she needed to hear._

_“You’re my strength, my reason for getting out of that bed.. You’re my sunshine through all of this.  And I thank god every night for bringing such a wonderful man into my life who gave me the greatest gift… All of you..”_

——-

Her mother’s words resounded in her head, echoing as she let them sink in and really hit her.  She was right.  Absolutely right.  If Annalisa was in her shoes right now, all of that would be true.

If god forbid she ever lost Harry, if he ever left her with the kids, to care for them alone, she would be devastated.  She would be heartbroken.  But not all would be lost.  Because he would leave behind the sunshine she would need to carry on.  He would give her reason, purpose for living on.  For the both of them.

She felt idiotic for never believing it before, for never seeing it the way her mother explained it.  And now that the damage was done, she feared she would never get a second chance to make it right again.

Desperate for a sign, she threw up a plea for something— _anything_ — to keep herself afloat, hope and faith in everything drifting with each labored breath she fought to take.

She wanted Harry.  She wanted a life together, children and a home. She wanted to wake up each morning and smile sleepily at the love of her life while their kids slumbered in their beds.  She wanted to whip them up breakfast, fix up their lunches, and cook their supper each night.  She wanted a long length table, seating a huge family that was created by the love and affections of two lost people that had somehow found each other.

Anna began to tear up, idly twisting the ring around her finger.

She wanted infinite love.  And there was only one person who could give her that.

Through her cloud of tears, a blinding light reflected against the glass, peeking through the snowflakes.  Anna squinted her eyes to try to see more clearly, rubbing them to rid the tears.

Who could that be?

Confusion settled in her expression, it being too late in the night to be expecting visitors, especially during the invisibility of the roads.  Two unfamiliar black cars were slowly but surely pulling up in front of the house, shaking violently from the gusty winds.

“Oh my god.”

Her heart started to pound erratically in her chest as the SUVs came closer and closer before coming to a complete stop at the top of the driveway, and she knew.

This was her sign.

A quiet cry tore from her, muffled by the hand that covered her mouth as to not disturb her mother as she watched four car doors swing open from the force of the wind, vigorously wiping the tears that were running hotly down her cheeks.

Harry was _here_.

She didn’t know how or who was behind his appearance but she didn’t care to know answers because he was really here, hopefully giving her a second chance.  Or a third chance.  And nothing was going to keep her from getting to him—from _being with him_ —ever again.

Her feet began to move, pounding against the hardwood floor as she raced down the stairs, her own heart beating a mile a minute.  Once she reached the front door, she flung it open and lost her breath at the sight of him standing there, just feet away from her.  The gush of bitter cold hit her brutally in the face repeatedly as they stood there staring at each other, the snow blowing into the house and icing the dark strands of her hair.

But she didn’t feel it, she wasn’t cold.  Not even a little.  In fact, she couldn’t feel anything but warmth for the first time in days, weeks, maybe even years.

“Hi.” He smiled.

And with just one smile, she felt the sunshine shining down on her, chasing away the invisible dark cloud that had been following her for far too long.

And she couldn’t help but smile back, genuinely this time, just before she flung her arms around him.

“Harry,” she croaked into his neck, clinging to him for dear life, afraid to let go.  “Harry..”

“Oh, baby,” Harry breathed, his eyes watering at the feel of her body pressed to his again, at the sound of her cracking voice.

He hugged her back, his arms tight around her small frame, protecting her from the wind that was blowing wildly around them.   This time, she didn’t shiver.  Her body didn’t recoil from the contact, didn’t stiffen in discomfort.  It didn’t make her feel worse like all the other hugs she kept receiving all week.  It didn’t paralyze her, it didn’t weaken her.

For the first time, it made her feel okay.

 **He** made her feel okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)


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